Joe Godsy Division
Parkview Scorpions 6 1 .857 115 48
McCarren Hotel Titans 6 1 .857 96 60
St. Anselm 3 3 .500 73 53
Turkey's Nest AT 2 5 .286 50 64
Parkview Suzies 5 1 .833 55 42
The Bedford Yetis 3 4 .429 62 99
Pete's Candy Store 2 5 .286 73 77
Turkey's Nest 0 7 .000 20 101
Joe Fashion Division
Gibson 6 1 .857 89 44
Roebling Sports Club 5 2 .714 111 70
Clems 3 3 .500 63 56
The Gutter 86ers 1 5 .167 36 89
Kilo Bravo 4 2 .667 55 37
Echo Bravo 4 2 .667 69 44
Loggers 2 5 .286 58 83
Carmine's Bombers 1 6 .143 44 102



Last Week's Results

Week 08 - May 22
Parkview Scorpions0 @ Gibson 0
Loggers0 @ The Bedford Yetis 0
Pete's Candy Store0 @ Echo Bravo 0
Turkey's Nest0 @ Kilo Bravo 0
Carmine's Bombers0 @ Parkview Suzies 0
Turkey's Nest AT0 @ Clems 0
McCarren Hotel Titans0 @ The Gutter 86ers 0
St. Anselm0 @ Roebling Sports Club 0

2017 – Week Three Recap

Wed, Apr 26, 2017

Inter division play is over and now it’s time to start playing teams you will only see once this season. After three weeks, we only have three undefeated teams. Not surprisingly, two of those teams were in the finals last year.

I’m not sure if you know this but Three Kings won last year. In case you need to be reminded, you just need to be connected to the internet or be in audible distance to Nick Tomeo. They have been on a great run since the middle of last season. They were actually 6-6 at one point last year before finishing 4-2 in their last 6 games and rolling through the playoffs on their way to their first title. They look to have picked up where they left off in 2016 by winning the HOF tournament and taking the first three games of the season. The last time they lost a game was to Black Betty in August of 2016. (I suppose I didn’t need to mention who they lost to but I wanted to make sure I didn’t leave our readers with any questions…. we take news seriously)

That being said, we have to start showing the 86ers more respect. It seems like everyone thinks the 86ers are just on a good run but they have shown over the past two season and into this season that they are legit. They were a final four team in 2015 (losing by one run in extra innings), they went to the finals last year and they are 3-0 with impressive wins over Spike Hill and RSC. This is a new era for the 86ers. Recognize… And don’t be surprised to see them in the top 5 once our Power Rankings come out.

The third undefeated team is a team we feel is the most balanced team in the league. The Kilo Bravo line-up is stacked top to bottom and their defense is solid. They are a really impressive squad. It’s going to be interesting to see how they fuck up… I mean how they do this year. They are the favorites to come out of the Fashion Division at this point even with the impressive play of the 86ers.

Looking ahead, Week 4 has some amazing match-ups. Set your DVR… There is seriously a reason to watch every game. From two 0-3 teams fighting for their first win, to the WSL’s favorite new rivalry (3 Kings vs R Bar) going at it for 2017 bragging rights, it’s going to be a good day of WSL ball. Now on to the recaps…..



Field #1: Black Betty @ Loggers

From the pen of Kevin Belz….

To “Get off the schneid” means “to break a scoreless streak” (or a series of consecutive losses). After 2 losses to start the season, the Bettyballers were chomping at the bit to get off the schneid and mark something other than zero into the win column.  Runs would be cool too.  As Graham pointed out in last week’s recap, the team ‘Marked it Zero, Dude’ in the runs column two weeks earlier against the Runaways for the first ever WSL shutout.  That’s over 16 years of softball. Not one shutout. Betty’s always be making history.

The Loggers were looking to go in the same direction, but this time with Craig ‘Cadaver’ Pisanelli post knee injury.  My other favorite Craig (I can have as many as I want) was trying to blast the ball over the heads of the Black defense but realized that the running part wouldn’t be that easy. It took me 6 hours, but I eventually questioned Craig’s decision to play.  I wonder if Craig knows of the old rule that allowed aging hipsters and hapless men to have pinch runners literally hold the pole of the backstop and jet to first when the sad batter hit the ball (but couldn’t run).  It was actually kind of funny to watch especially when managers got speedy guys to run in place of fat oldies who were now prostrate on the ground after overswinging and completely in the way of the play.  WSL Glory Days.

The Betty’s main features on this day would be their pitching staff along with a weird playlist that eventually became a string of non-sponsored WSL commercials for alcohol and insurance.  Thank the Lord Jebus that no Kars for Kids commercials came on or JB$’s jukebox would’ve been beaten to death.  It’s easy to not focus on much when that commercial is on, but check out the bassist on the drum platform.  He’s kinda killing it with zero musical ability.  Also featured on the playlist (that was just the radio) was ‘Big Shot’ by Billy Joel which really got everyone going.  Missing:  Van Halen and UTFO.

Oh….softball……the Betties jumped out to 1-0 lead in the first inning off Aiden ‘Surf’s Up?’ Sleeper hit that drove in the sophomore Betty SS Julio ‘Says He Talks To’ Angel(s) (4 for 5 w\HR, 3Rs, 3RBIs).  I expected him to kiss the plate but that’s more of a Camarra thing.  (Note: Mike Camarra was at a Showbiz Pizza party with AB & Violet while Mama JKC played some nifty 2B… At least one Camarra still takes this team seriously.)  JB$ went 3 for 4 spraying hits like his 35 old self while fellow jedi Lou ‘SkyWalker’ Giagrande went 3 for 4 knocking in 7 RBIs while eating an entire Grand Salami sandwich I handed him as he rounded 3rd base in honor of his Grand Slam. ‘Green Light’ Belz actually put the red light on Lou who blew through it testing the arm and accuracy of Snoop ‘My Arms Are Tan All Year Round’ and catcher Erika “Tag And” Tucker. Lou’s only regret is not knowing how to hit an Italian Combo or Chicken Parm home run.

By the later innings, the Betty’s were coasting, adding runs on here and there finishing at 16-3.  The Loggers did leverage the music during a Holland at-bat where the long intro to ‘Streets Have No Name’ seemed destined to go in Holland’s favor (Bono’s #1 Fanboy), only to have the Loggers make a great play as Adam Clayton drops the bass and they run off the field super inspired AF by the chord change.  Chelsey ‘Che-he-hels’ (said sadly by Buttah) got a sweet single up the middle during a Hennessy commercial and immediately made it her walk-up song for the remainder of 2017.

Music and softball and good people = Sunday’s at McCarren

(Betty 16 / Loggers 3)


Field #2: RBar @ AT All-Stars

From the pen of G Black….

Well what a game and what a well-earned Victory for AT! Definitely one of the more satisfying games for AT in the past couple of years. AT gave up 7 runs in a very painful and error-filled 1st inning but rebounded with runs in the next 3 innings (2, 1 and 5 runs respectively) tying the game up at 8-8 after they scored 1 in the top of 3rd.

R Bar scored 2 in the 6th and 1 in the 7th but AT once again responded in the bottom of the 7th with 2 runs thanks to great hustle, patience and clutch hitting.

On a side note, AT were short one lady and were literally 2 minutes away from starting the game with the prospect of playing with 9 players, 3 in the outfield and one automatic out. Then Metzl happens to notice a couple of high school girls throwing the ball around on the adjacent baseball field. He asked the mother if one of the girls can play and she said YES!!!! A very calm and poised 15 or 16 yr old young lady was game to play catcher and help AT out. Her name is Paola and will forever be part of AT history. She went 2-3 with 2 singles!!!! Metzl coming through with the pick-up of the year….

(RBar 11 / AT 12 )



Field #1: Spike Hill @ Turkey’s Teachers

From the pen of DUBIN!!!! He’s back!….

Ok, many things happened during Sunday’s Spike Hill/Turkey’s Teachers game but since the managers no longer send us quick recaps and since I go into a state of Camarraesque focus during all games and can thus, not remember anything, I’m gonna look at the books and have a go at recapping the game.

For starters, Eric “The ‘bron” Lebron has returned to Spike Hill and his swing is so sweet that it killed a diabetic homeless man watching this game. His name was D’flOvious. He will be missed. Moving on, the Hillians had a big day on offense, with several notable performances but the one that stood out was, without question, that of Kevin Kane Is Able. The able Kane went 4-5 with a walk and two BOMBS, one to deeeeeep left and one to right. I don’t know about the rest of you but I expect to start hearing warning calls of “ALL FIELDS” when Kevin Kane steps to the dish.

For TNT, the offensive star was Sam “Dubin Doesn’t Know My Last Name, So He’s Gonna Go With Something Jewey” Abramowitz. The big lefty in the PIMP white cap went 3-4 with a double but more importantly, it turns out that The Samwich is one sneaky SOB! This masher of softballs and possibly of potatoes spent all his BP swingage going oppo, oppo, oppo… and then it’s game time and he starts yanking the ball so hard that he should have used lube to prevent chaffing! The old Serbian-Jew Double Bluff … bravo, sir, bravo.

In other news, My Pal, Your Pal, Our Pal, Mike Powell is still the best player on Spike Hill and possibly in all Eastern Middle Earth. MP added 4 more hits to his season total, bringing his batting average to roughly .987. My boner gets a boner just thinking about this guy. Rounding out the day, Spike Hill infielder Stephanie “The Stick” Gall turned in a 3-hit day of her own and hasn’t stopped smiling since I met her two years ago. Just being around Steph makes me want to be nicer to people but then D-Lo (who will remain nameless) makes fun of me being a moron and I’m right back on the jerk wagon. *

The moral of this recap is the following: send Lou your own brief recap of your games, otherwise I am likely to give you a stupid nickname and sing the praises of Mike Powell for 400 words.

*Editor’s Note: Dubin is a moron.
**Writer’s Response: Screw you, Lou.
***Editor’s Note: I’m the Editor, so I get the last word and that word is “moron”.
****Writer’s Response:
*****Editor’s Note: Yea, that’s what I thought. Moron

(Spike Hill 31 / Teachers 8)


Field #2: RSC @ 86ers

From the pen of Clinchy….

1pm brought a juicy rematch and potential revenge game between the Gutter 86ers and RSC. The Remy’s had done their homework (because there are so many educators on the team, obviously) and were ready to keep the base hits at bay. It was time to jump out early, and pile on runs every inning. And, that’s exactly what the murderous Remy’s did…at least the first part of that statement.

The first inning brought RSC magic in the form of back to back…to back home runs from sluggers Kevin, Justin, and Shawn. We’re used to this from Kevin and Shawn, but what a pleasant surprise to get Justin Humphries fresh back from the mountains! He was spry, he was hustling, he was mashing the ball onto the road! On the back end of the first inning, the 86’ers weren’t daunted, and matched RSC’s 4 runs with 4 of their own. As they have earlier this season, they stuck to base hits and walks: Matt, Rich, Dylan, and Al all got on with base hits, while Giorgio and Dre worked walks. Who walks in slow pitch? Smart guys, that’s who.

Both teams were retired in the 2nd, but in the 3rd, Dre knocked a home run to score 3, putting the 86’ers up 2. This obviously didn’t rattle RSC, as this is their bread and butter: battling (of course, it’d be nicer to just demolish…work in progress). In the fourth, the top of the Remy line up showed up again: Jesse (getting on base 4 times in the game) and Kevin getting on; Justin hitting his second monster homer of the day (please go back to the mountains!) for 3 runs. After 4, tied at 8.

Then, Remy’s went cold and 86’ers kept spraying hits, despite Halling’s solid pitching. They scored 2 in the 6th and 4 in the 8th. RSC notched one more in the 8th, but for the most part, only 1-4th spots in the line up produced for RSC. They’ll have to wait another week to murder.

Speaking of next week, RSC is ready for the Pinks. Or, can we even call them that anymore now that they decided to blend in with black jerseys? Original (cough cough). And about their players. Heard they have some guy Pluff, we aren’t impressed by your dives, fyi. There’s this other magnificent gentleman Mr. Rash, is your tactic to blind your opponent with your uniform-better try something new against us (ps love you forever). A pitcher with one letter for a name? More like one note pitching: every pitch easy to hit. This chick Deamer? Well, she’s my girl crush so I hope she hits 5-5 even though RSC wins. Missing someone…hmmm….oh right. This dude Talty. He’s ehhh. Be ready in left, we’re aiming for ya. Careful, I know where you sleep.

(RSC 9 / 86ers 18 )



Field #1: Kilo Bravo @ Runaways

From the pen of D Rash….

Going into week three there was significant chatter about The Runaways only letting in 1 run against them in 2 games. One run? What in the fucking fuckery of fucks? The Runaways shut out Black Betty? Wait, wait. Is this real life? Logically it could only mean that Henri is fully practicing witchcraft made effective by a supernatural or spiritual power, such as a god or gods, a spirit, or a natural force, or else as a kind of spell by magic. Seems legit.

The first inning started out with a popcorn fart; a small dribbler back to Henri for the first put out. Kevin “Comfy” Clark answered with a base hit and collectively The Pinks loosened up their buttholes a bit with a sigh of relief only to have the 3 and 4 batters fly out consecutively. It seemed Henri was in fact a practitioner of drinking the blood of dead baby seals in exchange for WSL shut outs.

The Runaways immediately kicked things off with 2 runs in the first with AJ “Not to be confused with The Backstreet Boys’ AJ” and Chad “7 Minute Abs” White. Things were looking good for A Bar, like Chad in a leopard thong, good. Brown chicken brown cow. In the second inning Q hit a 2 run moonshot that landed somewhere in the batter’s box of Field 2. Chad’s sexy legs (shaved and meticulously defined) couldn’t muster enough moxie to track it down. Things were tied at 2 going into the 3rd inning.

The majority of the game thereafter was uneventful- a smattering of a few hits and sprinkled runs here and there and The Pinks found themselves trailing by 1 going into the last inning. With the top of The Pinks lineup due at the plate and trailing a run, The Pinks had to awaken their flaccid members with pleasurable yet aggressive friction. Tommy, Danny, Cesar, Q, and Peralta all came through with consecutive base-hit-knocks scoring 4.

The Runaways retired three in a row and shat the bed with diarrheal force. The Pinks remain undefeated—next week they square off against Roebling Sporting Club. It will be dubbed the “Lover’s Quarrel” as one of the WSL’s favorite couples, Talty and Clinchy go at it head to head. So cute.

(Kilo 11 / Runaways 8)


Field #2: St. Anselm @ Clems

No books so little to say…. Looked like a boring game anyway… 8-4. I guess it’s worth nothing that Markow is playing ball with a broken hand and still better than half the league. He had like 3 or 4 hits and the Clems lead for the entire game. End scene….

(St. Anselm 4 / Clems 8)



Field #1: Three Kings @ Gibson

From the pen of D Rash….

Watching 3 Kings massacre The Gibson was almost as painful as watching an Amy Schumer stand up special. 3 Kings look like they are definitely the team to beat albeit this year they are donning off-yellow cream colored jerseys most likely inspired by the recent Easter holiday. They do have super sick 2016 champion logos on their sleeves which 100% makes up for it. Rashy likey.

The tattooed WSL darlings put up a 5 spot in the first inning which really set the tone for the rest of the game. EvanSpeedy McSpeedersonMaiorino , Chris “Fabrezey” Franzese, “No Way” Jose, Bubbs “Bubblestilstkin” and Joe “Fo Sho” got things cracking with hard shots and consecutive scored runs.

The Gibson went 1-2-3 in the first but were able to pick up a run in the second, keeping some hope alive. 3 Kings put up another 4 in the second with Denis (a recent recipient of Owner of the Cutest Dog Award) starting things off with a hit and eventually scored with Evan, Jose and Bubbs following suit.

NON SEQUITOR: If you haven’t seen Francesca “No relation to Ray” Romano turn a double play at Shortstop you haven’t lived. SO good. I may have made a mess in my Nike shorts. Don’t hit it to her, she’s on point.

Kings in the fourth inning mirrored the first inning, where they put up another 4 runs from their top four batters consecutively. WOOF. This team mashes; there’s no holes in their lineup, pitchers beware.

Aaron “AK 47” Klein and Jay “All Day” put up a couple runs for Gibson but Kings came back with 5 runs immediately after. They managed to squeeze in 5 more runs on top of that in the 8th inning. The runs seemed to keep piling on.

I’m rooting for the Gibson to get some W’s this year. They’re a fine group of ballplayers and their record doesn’t adequately represent them as a team. Keep your head up guys, there’s plenty of season left. Next week the 3 Kings will battle R Bar where Bubbs and Evan will reminisce about their time spent wearing cut off Dodger-esqe jerseys.
(Three Kings 23 / Gibson 7)


Field #2: Turkey’s Nest @ Yetis

From the pen of Lou G….

The Yetis were playing for something bigger than just a win on Sunday so it’s no surprise they came out strong and rallied from behind late in the game. Turkey’s Nest was playing solid ball coming into the Yetis game – losing in extra innings to division leading Three Kings and easily taking care of Gibson the weekend before. They started off this game how they ended the last.

Andy, JL and Shafer started off the game with singles before Kolleyball Karl crushed a double. Top first – Nest up 3-0. Yetis answered in the bottom of the 1st with 6 straight hits after the lead-off out. Brian, Steve Band Jonathan had back-to-back-to-back doubles which helped put the Yetis on top 4-3 after one.

After blanking the Nest in the top of the 2nd, the Yetis went back to work with a Steve Lynch single followed by a Mia Lynch single, a Jon single and another Brian double. 7-2 Yetis after 2. Time for the Nest to wake up.

Top of the 3rd, the Nest started with a double from Andy, singles from Chuck & JL, a walk from Shafer, single from Jake and the big blow – a Home Run from Mitch Mr Jones and ME. Just like that, the Nest was on top 9-7. The Yetis answer once again with a 2 run HR from Matt “Bust a nut on the couch so you got Seaman’s furniture”. Tie game 9-9

A scoreless 4th followed by Shafer HR in the 5th made the score 10-9. Then a another 3 runs were tacked on from the Nest in the 6th thanks to 2 run hit from Shafer. It was 13-9 going into the big Yetis inning….

The Yetis were unstoppable in the bottom of the 6th with two outs…. Steve O started the rally with a single to lead of the inning and then Jonathan hit another double (the Yetis love doubles). After two outs were made, it looked like the Nest would get out of this inning only letting up a few runs but then the tidal wave came. 8 straight hits for the Yetis poured in a total of 9 runs when the inning was over. With a score of 18-13, the Yetis never looked back. The Nest tacked on one more in the 7th but were held scoreless in the 8th and 9th.

Great win for the Yetis and a fitting tribute to a good friend and a great guy.
(Nest 14 / Yetis 18)


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