Joe Godsy Division
Parkview Scorpions 6 1 .857 115 48
McCarren Hotel Titans 6 1 .857 96 60
St. Anselm 3 3 .500 73 53
Turkey's Nest AT 2 5 .286 50 64
Parkview Suzies 5 1 .833 55 42
The Bedford Yetis 3 4 .429 62 99
Pete's Candy Store 2 5 .286 73 77
Turkey's Nest 0 7 .000 20 101
Joe Fashion Division
Gibson 6 1 .857 89 44
Roebling Sports Club 5 2 .714 111 70
Clems 3 3 .500 63 56
The Gutter 86ers 1 5 .167 36 89
Kilo Bravo 4 2 .667 55 37
Echo Bravo 4 2 .667 69 44
Loggers 2 5 .286 58 83
Carmine's Bombers 1 6 .143 44 102



Last Week's Results

Week 08 - May 22
Parkview Scorpions0 @ Gibson 0
Loggers0 @ The Bedford Yetis 0
Pete's Candy Store0 @ Echo Bravo 0
Turkey's Nest0 @ Kilo Bravo 0
Carmine's Bombers0 @ Parkview Suzies 0
Turkey's Nest AT0 @ Clems 0
McCarren Hotel Titans0 @ The Gutter 86ers 0
St. Anselm0 @ Roebling Sports Club 0

Playoffs Round 1 – PREVIEW

Fri, Sep 11, 2015

Playoffs are coming…



Field #1: AT United @ Clemerica (Shortz)

Holy mother of god. The softball gods have managed to match up the two most wild, rabid team in the league (sorry Impose, you were sooooooo close).

Going into the playoffs at .500 for the first time (ever?) Breeze looks for a huge ROI from his prize studs Kelly and Bobby. If those boys can gel with his other million dollar baby, Markow, the result will be glorious. Then there’s Nat “Dat Ass” who was recently acquitted in the heinous murder of Chair. This chick can ball, y’all. And no Clem’s preview would be complete without mentioning the The Artist, Craig!. He has consistently ruined lives this season…and has played some of his best softball 😉 (note the winky face- t’s joke, boners).

As for ATU, their lone loss to Clemerica in week 8 gives the peg-legs the advantage Plus they’ve lost their beloved drunk tent and their snack time (also, The Gooch has them down to lose by 5- ouch). Sure they’re inconsistent, but without their roofie juice, they might bring some focus back to the dugout. And I certainly wouldn’t bet against Phrankenstein, that dude can pick up entire teams for breakfast. Plus there’s PeteMo, Nate and Lauck who just drafted some SICK fantasy football teams.

Why do I have the feeling there’ll be a huge crater on field 1 after this game due to both teams spontaneously combusting from too much…awesome? Sure let’s say too much awesome.

Field #2: Impose @ Crown Vic 86ers () 

What a disappointing end to the season for both of these teams. Each had the division in their grasps on the last day of the year. All they needed was a win. Just win and it’s yours! First it was the 86ers, who had a chance to clinch against Black Betty 2 weeks ago. They fell short on Field 2 that day, which opened up the door for the Imposers to claim the title against the Yetis later in the afternoon…and then they fell short. By default, the Bettys rose from the depths of the Godsy South to take the division in a shocker.

In the aftermath of their respective collapses, the two teams would fall from grace to the 4 and 5 playoff seeds. Staring down a likely cupcake against the Teachers then became the nightmare of a showdown against another double-digits winner in the first round. The softball gods giveth and then taketh away.

Look for solid defense and low scores in this game on Sunday. Both teams flashed their leather all season and the Boocakes were the stingiest of all. Despite that smothering Impose defense, the 86ers won both of their meetings in the regular season. Offense was an issue all year for Crown Vic, but they managed to put up 19 runs in their matchup a month ago. Anomaly? Outlier? Unpredictable? Makes you wonder which squads will show up on Sunday?


Field #1: Turkey’s Teachers @ 3 Kings (Homer Wadsworth)

It’s weird how our season ends right when school starts. It’s like a flash fall. It seemed like just yesterday Mike Hogan was going off to his acting gig, Shortz had little Baby Dick kickin’ around in her belly section and Q was just plain old Michael Quisigregarious. A young, aspiring poet Alex Dubin was doing ‘recaps’ for his team and getting the hang of this writing thing hoping for the call that came 15 weeks later when lil Baby Dick suddenly became Big Baby Dick in a belly. I don’t like where this is going.

Previews! 3Kings plays the Teachers this weekend in the North’s 1 vs 8 matchup and hope to start their smashy-smash early with an appetizer of educators. Haz and Staff have had a rough year, but have come out feeling confident they can play with anyone. They got a couple wins and caused a few scares for teams. They’ve had a steady staff of talented additions and some super cool peoples, to boot. As far as softball duties, they need to step up and score early on 3 Kings. The #1 seeded Kings are not a team you can keep quiet for very long and when they make noise it gets loud fast.

Nick has had a banner year for the Kings and the team has worked hard every Sunday amassing a 14-4 record and has put up some stingy defense the entire season. No one likes to talk about last year, but last year they suffered a first round loss to the Loggers and never broke into the playoffs the way they know they can. This year seems like a completely different team so expect something completely different.

If the Teachers come out and score a bunch of runs early, expect 3Ks to slowly pound away on the lead and the Teachers who’ll feel the heat as the game goes on. The Teacher offense has to be ready to score consistently in this game and it’ll have to be off hits and smarts, not errors and miscues which the Kings seldom make. Like every other game this weekend, it’s do or die and anything can happen when September in the WSL comes around!

Play (soft) Ball!!!!!

Field #2: Gibson @ Turkey’s Nest () 

I want to believe…that we can win.

 The playoff payoff is finally here. We play these 18 games over 5 long months for this day. For the chance to celebrate the opportunity to play again. For the chance to crush the hopes and dreams of our friends on the other team. For the glory of victory. For…who am I kidding, it’s co-ed recreational softball and it’s not that dramatic.

The Gibson comes into the 2015 WSL Playoffs on an epic 13 game losing streak, reminiscent of the ghosts of past Gibby squads. They began the year with a win and promise of a newer, more complete roster. Unfortunately, they lied to us all and sort of fell apart mid-season. Despite all the losing and the in-fighting that went on, it is the dawn of a new day. All the past is forgotten and all teams stand on common ground. Survive and advance. In this case, survival rests on their ability to fend off the defending WSL champions…Turkey’s Nest.

The Turks have been pretty effing good over the waning months, winning 5 of their last 6 games after clinching the division sometime around Memorial Day. After a dismal 3-3 start to the season, it was actually the Gibson who acted as the slump-buster for the Nest. Their May 31st victory over the Gibs jumpstarted the Turkey’s run for the Fashion South Division crown and a 9-3 record down the stretch. They won by the narrowest of margins that day, but Sunday will be a whole new ballgame…literally…and figuratively…I guess?


Field #1: The Runaways @ R Bar (Shortz)

R Bar and The Runs. Sounds like a wicked uneven matchup…and a KILLER rock band name.

Now The Runs have lost the majority of their games this season but if you look at their scores, they were never blown out. They were never close either; they just didn’t lose by “a lot” a lot.

Sam’s depleted line up NOT featuring the likes of Ed, Matt, and Lynch Mob definitely hurt them, as did the many disappearances of Eleanor MCLyte. So here they are now against the mighty R Bar, and everyone has counted them out, going in droves to The Gooch to place their bets against the team slated to lose by 11.

But not so fast- anything could happen to make the R Bar falter in what would be the biggest upset in WSL history (no, I’m not counting the Loggers/ 3K 2014 playoff game). Here’s a scenario that will put the Runaways on top:

After D-Lo and Adam get A LOT of play from their matching ‘Murica outfits, they decide to start their own fashion line…for cats…cat who love ‘Murica. Their fashion line? “Meowica”. NYFW catches wind of their success and decides to add a Pet runway show and have chosen “Meowica” to show their line…but only at 3pm. The entire team, thinking they could win even with cardboard cut outs of themselves in the field, head to the show. C’mon, “Cardboard Cut-out” R Bar is still a pretty stacked team. But that random tornado rolls through McCarren Park again and knocks their cardboard personas over. The Runways, seeing their opportunity are able to plate a few runs and advance to the next round.

Will anyone take that bet?

Field #2: Berry Park @ The Bedford (Alexander P. Dubin Esq.)

Well here we go. Round 1. FIGHT! Bedford/Park. Brunchers/Yettis. Pizza/Kane …. mmmmm …. pizza cane. At 7-11, Yettiville, USA comes into the playoffs as the 6 seed but they haven’t been playing like it of late. With multiple wins over top teams at the end of the season, El Yetterinos are peaking at just the right time; not unlike a girl who gets hot RIGHT ON HER 18th birthday (17th in NY State, thanks law school). Although Dr. Von Yettenheimer is without all-star player, Annie “The Renegade Apostrophe” ‘De’l’Ar’ia’’, the Fighting Pizzas are confident that they can engineer an upset vs. the struggling Brunchers. I asked Zack(!), better known as “Yetti Betty”, about his squad’s round 1 match-up their division foes and he told me, “Doug Hogan WILL pee in a cup or we will not play.” I took this information to Doug “Quailman” Hogan, who replied, “I don’t pee in cups for the pleasure of men…not anymore. Not since Frank died.”

As far as Doug’s team, The Brunchers are riding the tail of two bad losses in a row, at the hands of the Kings and the Bums. Both games ended in what can only be termed as spankings, as the Bedford was outscored by a total of 176-3. If Mo’s crew is gonna make a run at this thing, they’re gonna have to put those performances behind them, crank up the Pat Benatar and WHOOP SOME ASS, because softball, not unlike love, is a battlefield.


Roebling Sports Club @ Black Betty (Homer Wadsworth)

Softball truly brings out the inner child.

At the end of last week’s carnage in the Godsy South, the Betty emerged as winners of the division after an unexpected Impose upset and Vic split. The Betty’s beat an anemic Nest team and scraped together a win against the 86ers later that afternoon moving from the 4th to the 2nd seed and now face the Roebling Sporting Clubbers in a old school 1st Round matchup.

The Bettys won both games this season against the Reelers with the last one being a nail biter 18-17 victory that included a walkoff single and some high scoring softball!!! Both teams were getting on the board often and frequently and no one could really keep up with the score until it was super late and THEN people started watching. Jake ‘Foo’ Hawkins hit a few bombs and ‘High Steppin’ Hogan was back hitting line drives super intentionally a mere five feet in front of charging outfielders. Mark ‘Give ‘em’ Halling should be on the hill using his wily veteran smarts to get Betty hitters out and in front of his balls. The team has really come around and played a better second half of their season. Expect them to come out confident, minus one preggers-lady chair (R.I.P. Chair, Kevin was framed).

The boys and girls in Black ended their regular season with doubleheader sweep and are hoping the momentum carries over into the 1st round against their long time opponents. With their full staff in attendance and their deep bench, the Betty expect to come out firing and hopefully keep Roebling to under 17 this time.

There’s no easy matchups for anyone in the Godsy division and no matter who beats who, the second round seems like a semifinal matchup for anyone who dares make it to that far in the playoffs! Dare to Win!

Field #2: Loggers @ Enids (Alexander P. Dubin Esq.)

Don’t run from your feelings, Dubin.

Jesus, Dom! What in the name of Drew’s boardshorts is going on with your team?! Perhaps no squad in the league this season has been as enigmatic as Enid’s. A team stacked to the Camel-gills with talent, the Pinks put up a solid but incredibly inconsistent regular season, ending with a respectable 12-6 mark to end the year. However, Dom’s squad ended the season succumbing to an 18-7 drubbing at the hands of the Battleship, leaving this reporter to wonder as to the mindset of the Camels coming into their first round matchup with the Loggers this Sunday. I asked Wally “The Silver (Pink) Camel” Pluff about is team’s inconsistency and the mood of the squad: “Get your hand off my ass, Dubin. Get your hand off my ass, Dubin, indeed. What a competitor.

After Stacy got done stomping me for messin’ with her man, Loggers big sticks, Al “That’s Right Tim” Boreland-Chiaino and Tony “I Knit Like a Frenchman” Basile approached, wearing roller skates and short shorts. That really has nothing to do with this preview but I still felt it was important. And hot. I’m not gay. Not that it would be bad if I were. Because that’s totally cool and everyone should be free to live their lives however they want. But I’m not gay. I think. Aaaaaanyway, where was I? Oh yea … Al and Tony’s sexy asses. I mean, normal asses. I mean, not asses at all. No, I mean, obviously they both have asses but I wasn’t noticing them. Not that there would be anything wrong if I had. But I didn’t. I did. SHIT!

The Gooch has the Loggers as a touchdown underdog coming into this one but the beer-drinking, wood-chopping, rollerskating bunch will try to give the Camels all they can handle and more. While Enid’s is the clear favorite on paper, paper is made from trees and we all know what Loggers do to trees … They watch gay porn and don’t tell anyone about it. I mean … SHIT!


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