Joe Godsy Division
Parkview Scorpions 7 1 .875 131 61
McCarren Hotel Titans 7 1 .875 110 66
St. Anselm 3 4 .429 76 57
Turkey's Nest AT 2 6 .250 61 82
Parkview Suzies 6 1 .857 71 48
The Bedford Yetis 4 4 .500 73 109
Pete's Candy Store 2 6 .250 81 102
Turkey's Nest 0 8 .000 26 130
Joe Fashion Division
Gibson 6 2 .750 102 60
Roebling Sports Club 6 2 .750 115 73
Clems 4 3 .571 81 67
The Gutter 86ers 1 6 .143 42 103
Kilo Bravo 5 2 .714 84 43
Echo Bravo 5 2 .714 94 52
Loggers 2 6 .250 68 94
Carmine's Bombers 1 7 .125 50 118



Last Week's Results

Week 08 - May 22
Parkview Scorpions16 @ Gibson 13
Loggers10 @ The Bedford Yetis 11
Pete's Candy Store8 @ Echo Bravo 25
Turkey's Nest6 @ Kilo Bravo 29
Carmine's Bombers6 @ Parkview Suzies 16
Turkey's Nest AT11 @ Clems 18
McCarren Hotel Titans14 @ The Gutter 86ers 6
St. Anselm3 @ Roebling Sports Club 4

Week 8 – RECAP

Wed, Jun 3, 2015

For those who lasted the day, sought refuge at The Gibson after God pissed tears, enjoyed some stormy streaking on N. 11th, and witnessed the return of the annoying Zombie Pub crawlers from 2013, congratulations- you did not come down with a massive case of FOMO.



Field #1: Crown Vic 86ers @ The Bedford (Homer Wadsworth)

Often times we writers have to rely on emails from the managers highlighting their team’s’ success\failure because we didn’t see the game or were doing other stuff on a Sunday. As if. It’s always nice to see how a manager feels about their team when they remember certain plays. Sometimes someone else steps up and delivers and you have content gold! This was one of those weeks!

The Bedford’s were down 2-0 after 2 pitches and were wondering if there 86ers were about to blow up their shit and ruin Sunday for Mo & Co. The early going got better for the Bedford as Alex ‘The Dubinator’ went deep and cleared the fence on the other field. I won’t say which fence to keep everyone guessing but it was the first base line fence on field 2. With the Brunchers down in the 4th frame, water pipe sponsor Steve Mina hit a whopping 3 run HR to get them back in the game. O’Malley smelled like Guinness and Metzl went oppo in his honor for a triple to seal the deal and ‘86 the 86’ers. (Good one, phantom writer!) There were other people mentioned in the recap, which started to seem like an Emmy award winning thank you speech, but Amelia, filling in for some vacationing ladies, went 2 for 3 and hit like a Doug who also went deep with his 61st home run…….. all in the month of May!

The Victorian Crowns on the other hand were battlingbattlingbattling and kept the Bedford’s on their toes with 2 HRs by JQuiggs and Dylan ‘Grasskiller’ and great stops in the field by Her Grace, MalVP. Buttah’s recap was about as brief as an 86er scoring rally. The losing supersquad was supercool and came over to cheer on their teammates on the blacktop while they have the Loggers to think about until next Sunday. Hang in there Vics!

(Crown Vic 86ers 9 / The Bedford 24) 

Field #2: Roebling Sports Club @ 3 Kings ( )

I know Shortz was so looking forward to a fancy face off with Three Kings maniac manager Nick Price. She was already pontificating her approach to match his unparalleled showmanship in her WSL Preview. Sadly, Nick was busy riding his bicycle to raise awareness for Autism on Sunday. In his stead, I was forced into my former role of ringleader/warden/psychiatrist/coach…and I may have even let loose a, “LET’S FUCKING GO!”

After threatening, but not scoring in the top of the 1st, the Remy’s sent lady-hurler, Clinchy, to the mound…and it didn’t go well. 3Ks capitalized on an early defensive miscue to put the first 2 runners on, then Johnny Franzese hit a 3-run bomb. After the next 2 batters made outs, the Kings would plate another 4, as they batted around the order. 3 Kings would bat around again in the 4th, to go ahead 16-0 and put the game out of reach. Joe Tomeo, Billy Gruarin and Thomas Santoro all homered in the frame…which would also prompt a call to the bullpen, in an attempt to slow down the bleeding.

Matty No Times got the start for 3Ks and the defense was stingy behind him all day. RSC would eventually score runs in the 6th, 7th and 8th innings, but it was too little and too late. Despite a 4 hit effort from SS Sam, RSC were only able to push 4 runs across on the day.

Roebling will look for the slump-buster against a 1-win Runaways squad this coming weekend, while the Kings will face off against the surging R Bar Bums. Hopefully, we can avoid another monsoon and get all of the games in. Although I am not looking forward to the amount of field maintenance that will be needed this weekend, I think my shoes have finally dried out from Sunday…So I’ve got that going for me, which is nice.

(Roebling Sports Club 4 / 3 Kings 25) 


Field #1: The Runaways @ Enids (Shortz)

As I predicted, Enid’s brushed off embarrassment and squeaked past The Runs. This low scoring affair showcased equally beautiful defenses (and equally shitty offenses). For instance, The Runs caught the Pinks trying to take extra bases 3 separate times (see- both good defense and shitty offense).

What gave Enid’s the atvantage was their ability to plate a couple of runs just about every inning whereas The Runs were scoreless for 7 innings. The Pinks also have a knack for putting their best batters last. Case in point, Pat “The Bat” was 3-3, (unless you count Tommy’s 2-4 with a HR or 10-ifer’s 3-3 and “better”).

As for The Runs, despite their stellar defense (especially from Chad and Mike), they just couldn’t get their bats going except for the 6th inning- thanks to MC Lyte (who looks like she had a perfect game but I didn’t get a full pic of the book – you umpires are the worst), Grant, Francesca, and James, resulting in 4 runs. But hitting is kind of the point of softball, so more runs, Runs. Or maybe wait a couple of weeks since you face us next.

(The Runaways 4 / Enids 8)

Field #2: Loggers @ R Bar (Homer Wadsworth)

BDAY girl looks like one of the McFly siblings at the end of Back to the Future.

The Loggers faced off against the powerful R Bar offensive juggernaut and although the game was respectably close for a bit like most 9 inning softball games tend to look on paper (internet paper) the game was closer than it looked. Dont be deceived! This was a 9-6 game in the 6th, people! Just took some time for the juggernaut giant to bust open through the top of the badly built house and start squashing some Loggers before wading into the sea.

Richie from R Bar gave props to the Loggers for their game and the improved squad. Some nice hitting and fielding by Logger standout Kristen ‘Lisa’ P was the highlight reel for the team as she was in a harsh brother\sister battle with brother Brian ‘Bart’ P who had a dinger and some stellar jaunts in the outfield. The Lumberfolk were missing a few bats and the RA column shows it.

For RBar, the home run list is long as always and with 23 runs, it’s really not hard to imagine. It was also D-Lo’s 21st BDay and everyone at the WSL editorial staff just loves her, so there’s that. But back to softball. Evan got on base constantly and scored lots, Lauren played great and had a 2 for 2 day driving in a few runs of her own and Bubb(aliciou)s came back and in his return went an unsurprising 2 for 3 with a buncha RBIs and was happy to be back. All in all, a good day for the Bums in Blue.

(Loggers 6 / R Bar 23)



Field #1: Clemerica @ AT United (Shortz)

It was hard to pry myself away from my drunken Remy comrades, but I made the journey alone to the ATU tent to witness…true softball excitement. I was greeted with cookies of various flavors, which I sampled 3 — to make sure they weren’t poisoned — lay off me!

Clemerica wanted the title “Best Fun Team” and came out swinging in 7 run first inning. A stunned ATU could not answer back until the bottom of the second, with a small rally of their own, started by fellow suffering Jets fan, D-Nasty.

The cookies finally kicked in, and by the 7th inning ATU were only trailing by 1 thanks to a grand slam by Nick (WSLPOTW material, but something better happened earlier in the day). Nick would attempt the same feat in the 8th but Sneaky Pete robbed him in a violating manner.

Full from the cookies, I was too sleepy to film the end of the game. That decision will forever haunt my dreams. ATU was down by 5 going into the bottom of the 9th. With 2 outs and Matt (wait, if this is Matt Hamilton, you work with my friend Kim, but either way I should probably introduce myself) on 1st and Glenda (sweet name!) at the plate. With the rain that had just starting making everything slick, she popped one that could have easily bounced foul, giving herself new life. But Stryker wanted out of the game to commence (or continue) double fisting Budweisers. He ran with the speed of a wedding guest racing towards an open bar. And for a brief, beautiful moment was airborne as the ball fell into his outstretched glove to end the game. Then he hit the ground – HARD. I thought he’d barf all over ATU when they lined up, but alas.

As the remaining teams were setting up for the 5pm games, the floodgates opened and the rain goods ushered the league to the Gibson to dry off, but not out.

(Clemerica 15 / AT United 10)

Field #2: Gibson @ Turkey’s Nest ( )

Maybe I was a little overzealous in my suggestion of some potential “worst beats first” heroics when the Gibson faced off with the defending champs this Sunday? Never could I have known what was about to actually occur. The action was somewhat glacial and the scoring was quite tardy, but the drama was quite thick. That being said, I have never received a better piece of recap material than this passage from Turkey’s Nester Glenn:

“Through 5+ innings, the game was scoreless until, with runners on base, a line drive from Gibson and headed towards the gap in right center. Though it looked to be the first strike of the game, Chuck “Fleet Feet” Divak sprinted like a gazelle across the savannah — or maybe he was the lion and Shafer was the gazelle heading towards him from center — yeah, that makes no sense as a gazelle should be running AWAY from the lion but, seriously, if Shafer was a gazelle, he’d TOTALLY be running towards the lion — anyway, Chuck in his ravenous appetite for softballs, made a leaping running snag that quickly poured a bucket of water on the Gibson bench. This would be the theme of the day. Whether blessed by a thousand cherubs or sold to the devil for pre-game beer, Chuck’s glove would magnetically attract anything that came near it. Drives to right, foul outs to the catcher, a line drive to third — all caught by Chuck’s glove. At one point, a baby in a stroller almost dropped their pacifier and Chuck caught it. It was amazing.”

As it was so eloquently stated above, this was a surprisingly scoreless game until the 6th inning. I understand the Gibbys had a few sick plays of their own from SS Andrew “Banga” and David “The Glovenor”. The offense eventually woke up in that 6th frame to the tune of 5 runs, capped off by a bomb from “Ranger” Mike. Unfortunately, that would be the only fruitful inning of the day for the Gibs and the Nest was just about to get started.

In the bottom half of the 6th, the Turks would plate 3…2 of which were on a deep sac fly from Shafer, which scored both the runner on 3rd AND 2nd. Still chasing 2, Shafer put the team on his back again in the bottom of the 8th inning and drove in another 2 runs on a oppo triple. He would later score to take the lead and the Gibson had nothing left to say about it in the top of the 9th.

The Gibson is really starting to shed their old skin and push some good teams to the brink.

The Nest, on the other hand, is really struggling to keep pace in the weakest WSL division right now, the Fashion South. It appears the Nest gets the day off in Week 9, due to blacktop league scheduling conflicts. The Gibbys will take the field against the winless Teachers, as they look for their 3rd win of the young season.

(Gibson 5/ Turkey’s Nest 6)


WSL Player of the Week is…Megan Lyte!!!


Megan: Wow! This is so exciting! I can barely find words to describe my feelings. Being selected as the WSL player of the week is an honor that I never expected, especially after watching some great games on Sunday and considering how awesome all of the Runaways are. Thank you for choosing me!

1. This was the first time in WSL history (this fact has been disputed) a female has umped a regular season game. What inspired you to break the “estrogen ceiling”? 

Megan: Everything happened so quickly that I didn’t have time to remember that I was a woman. Saturday night I was drunk at the Gibson saying that I might like to be an umpire. Sunday morning I got the big phone call from Holland. I didn’t realize that I had broken through any kind of ceiling until after the game                                                                                              

2. During the game, especially when Holland was watching you like a Hawk, did you feel emotional or other women things that men assume would impair a woman’s judgment?

Megan: As a woman, I didn’t want to make any calls that might negatively affect the players that I like. Luckily, I love everybody exactly equally so I felt my only option was to try and call a fair game. While Holland was watching, I made extra sure to pay attention to the game and not stare at butts. I wasn’t experiencing menstrual cramps at the time.

3. What are your thoughts on garden gnomes? 

Megan: It’s funny that you should mention garden gnomes because I’ve been eyeing an impressive collection of them outside my kitchen window. I think one of them is actually a donkey. I like most garden gnomes, but not the ones that look like they’re peeing.

4. What’s the WILDEST thing you’ve ever done?

Megan: One time at a pizza parlor I took a wad of money out of a man’s pocket because I wanted quarters for pinball. He caught me. For the record, I thought it was my dad.  Growing up, I was also a fan of streaking, and sneaking into the boys’ bathroom. I never did both at the same time.                                                            

5. We’ve been told you’re a math wizard. Do an equation RIGHT NOW!

Megan: My favorite equation is the ideal gas law, PV = nRT. It was developed based on experimental observations, but it turns out that it can be derived using statistical mechanics.  Can I, myself, derive it using statistical mechanics? Not right now.

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