Joe Godsy Division
Parkview Scorpions 6 1 .857 115 48
McCarren Hotel Titans 6 1 .857 96 60
St. Anselm 3 3 .500 73 53
Turkey's Nest AT 2 5 .286 50 64
Parkview Suzies 5 1 .833 55 42
The Bedford Yetis 3 4 .429 62 99
Pete's Candy Store 2 5 .286 73 77
Turkey's Nest 0 7 .000 20 101
Joe Fashion Division
Gibson 6 1 .857 89 44
Roebling Sports Club 5 2 .714 111 70
Clems 3 3 .500 63 56
The Gutter 86ers 1 5 .167 36 89
Kilo Bravo 4 2 .667 55 37
Echo Bravo 4 2 .667 69 44
Loggers 2 5 .286 58 83
Carmine's Bombers 1 6 .143 44 102



Last Week's Results

Week 08 - May 22
Parkview Scorpions0 @ Gibson 0
Loggers0 @ The Bedford Yetis 0
Pete's Candy Store0 @ Echo Bravo 0
Turkey's Nest0 @ Kilo Bravo 0
Carmine's Bombers0 @ Parkview Suzies 0
Turkey's Nest AT0 @ Clems 0
McCarren Hotel Titans0 @ The Gutter 86ers 0
St. Anselm0 @ Roebling Sports Club 0

Week 6- RECAP

Wed, May 20, 2015

McCarren Park was bustling with athleticism, exchanges of “borrowed jackets” from From Jen-10’s wedding, and sumo bumpers- enjoyed by both adults and children. Glad I didn’t get sued (Knock on Sumo Bumper).


Field #1: R Bar @ The Runaways ()

Emptier than a post riot Orioles game

No favors this week from my editor. My team was playing the in the 5pm slot…and I was assigned the only game at 11am. It should come as no surprise that I didn’t catch a single pitch from this one. Lucky for me, Blues Clues sent in a few impassioned game notes, as did Richie for dem Bums.

R Bar kicked off the scoring in the top of the 1st, plating 3 on the might of back-to-back homers from John R and Bobby (big surprise, right?). Those 2 would go on to combine for 5 bombs, 11 RBIs and even an intentional walk…which then led to an RBI single from Richie, who let Sam hear about it all the way down the line to 1B.

Despite all that, The Runaways were doing their best to stay in the game. R Bar held a slim 7 to 5 lead in the 5th inning, when John R launched a grand slam to put the game away for good. The boys (and gals) in blue are off to an impressive 5-1 start to the season. Their offense is firing on all cylinders, while not allowing more than 7 runs to any opponent during their 5 wins.

Polly Brewster roped an RBI single and Mikey Gems flashed some leather at 3B in the loss for the Runaways. Things don’t get any easier for the Candykids after the Memorial Day break, when they get the 1-loss Enid’s team. If nothing else, it will be colorful!

(R Bar 17 / The Runaways 7)


Field #1: Turkey’s Nest @ Clemerica (Shortz)

I came to watch the tail end of this one (and to secretly snap TN’s book since we always get jack from Jordan) and man to I wish I’d gotten there earlier. What a lively event! Clemerica tried extra hard to match the talent of birthday boy, Markow, by logging in 7 homeruns on the day. After a beer cake presentation, made by the Beautifully Beautiful Devan, the sporting festivities commenced.

The Nest started off aight, with scoring from Shafer, Mitchy FC, and Karl with a K, but the Battleship answered back with 6 runs of their own from the top 6 of the line up.

By the top of the 4th, the Nest needed to get their shit together as they were blowing it with a score of 18-4, so they blew back with 5 runs courtesy of Doug, David, Super Sub Maddie, Disco, and Shafer, to make it 18-9.

The only things I saw was French’s near laser into left get snagged by that woman hater, Mitchy FC (it’s a joke, boners), and the tail end of CRAIG!’s fantastic dish day, hitting for the cycle and going 5-5 (he would have made POTW had he gone 6-5).

Although the Nesters would score 7 more runs, the Battleship’s bats were mightier and more buzzed, leaving Disco and the gang with…defeat on their faces.

Turks swallowed…their pride, and came back to dock at Clem’s and enjoyed BBQ fish tacos (YUM).

(Turkey’s Nest 17 / Clemerica 22)

Field #2: AT United @ Gibson (Homer Wadsworth)

After making editorial nice nice with the Gibson and getting some head nod hellos from the team after pissing them off a few weeks back, I figured they stopped giving a shit what was written about their team. I felt we finally made it back to the drawing board where anything we write wouldn’t be so scrutinized. Then I went to check the recaps and discovered they don’t have time for recaps. Recaps?!?! RECAPS??!? I fucking love this new attitude Gibson, and you should too.

ATU is cool, yo…they got The Tent, Vinny, Jimmy2s and the enigmatic leader that is Rebecca’s side-piece. They came out and scored a bunch of runs early and everyone who stepped up to the plate answered the bell and performed, plating 9 runs and batting all 12 in the 1st inning. After the first inning the details of the this game were lost and since I didn’t watch this game, I‘m not sure WTF else happened besides the rookie Ruben going 3 for 3 on the day.

Because I don’t have a Gibson recap I’m gonna make a guess as to what they did. After the first inning scoring barrage by ATU, the Gibbies got back to their bench and realized, ‘”Fuck this…’s a 9 inning game….let’s get fired up and score some goddam runs, goddammit!’’ and then started to chip away at the ATU defense as Jimmy (ATJM) pounded corners and tried lulling them into a sense of security before Gerald Marquez de Sade came in to distinguish all hopes of a comeback.

Chances are Dave from Gibson went 4-5 with a few dingers or doubles with some sparkling plays in both the outfield and then later on in the infield. Judging strictly from Erik’s photos, some Haters, plus a topless Adrian were photographed having some fun in the sun for the Gibson. Even during a media blackout you can always find a ray of light in those goddamn photos.

(AT United 18 / Gibson 3)


Field #1: Black Betty @ Berry Park (Homer Wadsworth)

I think I’ve made it clear in previous columns that I’m a big fan of the Yetis and all they stand for. They have good people, great players and a tent filled with MGD. They all had fantastic batting practice sessions Sunday from one of the greatest BP pitchers of all time, but then came up short against a tiny 5’2″ blond and a bearded WSL pitching legend.

Black Betty, fresh from the H video scandal that seemed to rouse an entire nation of Kings to stomp on the boys and girls in black last weekend, came out firing on all cylinders and took control early scoring 3 runs with 2 outs. The Yetis attacked in the bottom the first scoring a run of their own by Zak. This was pretty much the game. Soon after, The Bettys railed off a slew of Homers (Principal Pretto, Jaker 2, AK 2, JB$, but not Holland) and the game was out of reach.

James ‘JB$’ Byrne has been spending his offseason (and presumably the first 5 weeks of the 2015 campaign) flowing through Chaturanga and resting up in Savasana while rookie LouG adjusted to the league as the newest Betty addition. As the student wondered where the mentor was, the message was clear: “You got this, Skywalker.” Money didn’t fail to delight the crowd with his pitching prowess and 3-5 day including a 3-run Homer that caught the line in left into some wicker picnic baskets. Game ball went to Chelsey Fitzgerald who went 4 for 5, helped JB$ get his groove back from behind the dish and is really a super lady. Such a super lady! Chelsey’s not only a baller but a trained jazz vocalist and talented actress! Truuuue storaay! As for what 3rd base coach Jill Grosso thinks, “Chellllllss!” was all we could decipher.

The Yeti’s game was not a pretty one and they had trouble getting runs across for the next 8 innings. The outfield was constantly tested by Betty bombs and the sun didn’t help at all. Right fielder WSL-vet ‘Turbo’ Lynch, when asked about one of the plays that involved 3 trees, 2 paths and 5 clueless pedestrians, said: “Dude. Don’t even.” This reporter got the hint immediately.

(Black Betty 21 / Berry Park 1)

Field #2: Impose @ Turkey’s Teachers (Shortz)

Is that you, Derek?

I had a seat (way across the field on Jill’s fuzzy blanket) for this one, and might I just say I don’t feel like you listened to me, Teachers. And I hate not being listened to on the weekends.

Remember when I said DON’T hit it to Derek and Palma? Well, you did anyway, and they were unstoppable, even turning a stellar 6-4-3 DP. Then you focused on flying out to the outfield (also futile) where Jon Blank, Pat Snajder, Adam Hoffman, and Jay Silver made 19 of the 27 outs.

Then I warned you about their offense. Pete and Jon (straight from my preview!) along with Jeff Carroll, Jay Silver all singled with 2-outs to get the runs across. Derek Evers with his ‘molesty’ new mustache, exploded on you with a double, HR, a walk, 3 runs and 3 RBI. And 9 of Impose’s 14 runs were scored with 2 outs! Like nails down a chalkboard, Teachers.

It was 7-0 by the 6th when the Teachers managed to plate 3 from a few RBI singles by Andres Rodriguez and Gianni Gomez. I even saw you guys make some plays in the infield! But then Imposer Adam Hoffman hit a line drive that bounced 5 or 6 feet past 3rd base and screamed by Jay F who ended up in a puddle, while Adam plated his 4th HR of the year.

Teachers, I bet you’re seriously looking forward to this week off to recoup. In the meantime, let me find my ruler.

(Impose 14 / Turkey’s Teachers 3)


Field #1: The Bedford @ Roebling Sports Club (Shortz)

After a pre-game show of “Bumper Babes”, this game started off with more of a whimper than a bang for the Remy’s. We thought the softball Gods had thrown us a bone when we didn’t see Kane on the mound, but we soon realized that O’Malley was equally as lethal…also we were swinging at anything. We were unable to score until the 5th inning, plating 6 but barely able to make a dent to the lead Bedford had over us. Only veteran Ope and rookie Maggie had decent days at the dish. And Sandor too, but only after he lost the tip of his pinky in left field.

As for the runs plated by the Bedford, there’s only so much we can do when the balls are well placed…or hit into another galaxy. Week 3 POTW Doug proved there’s no POTW curse as he went 5-5 with 2 homers and 6 RBIs, roping one ball 5 feet short of home plate on field 2. Matt, Alex, and Phil had some homers of their own, but Doug wins. O’Malley went 4-5 while barely breaking a sweat on the mound, especially after getting hit an inch left of his nards by Shawn Andrews.

Their defense was equally stellar, but the golden glove definitely goes to their speedy newbie Mark Wojo, who made a couple awkward catches in RF, lulling Remy lefties into false security before snatching the game ending gapper.

Then we all retreated to our post game oasis, Roebling Sporting Club, and partied like it was 2002.

(The Bedford 18 / Roebling Sports Club 7)

Field #2: 3 Kings @ Crown Vic 86ers ()

You’ll be back. They always come back

When the 86ers face off with the Kings, you can always expect a battle! In recent years, these two have combined for a half dozen games decided by 2 or less runs. Heading into Sunday, both squads were 4-1 and on top of their respective divisions. Couple that with the added drama of Filthy Jeff’s “last” game for Crown Vic, this one would live up to the expectations!

Defense was the theme of the game, especially for the 1st half. The 86ers hurler, Jake P, absolutely stifled the 3Ks bats, holding them 1 hit through 4 innings! The Kings’ gloves were were up to the task and able to hold Crown Vic to only 1 run over the same time frame, capped off by Kenny gunning down Soda at home from RF to end the 4th.

The bats would eventually heat up in the 5th, when Jose Martinez and Joe Tomeo plated 3 on back-to-back, 2-out, RBI hits for 3Ks. The 86ers answered in the bottom of the 6th, with a 2 out, 2 RBI single from Mike Q, to knot the score at 3 all.

The last 3 innings would belong to 3Ks, scoring 7 runs over that stretch. Billy and Jose both hit solo shots, while Denis and Motown combined for 4 hits and 4 runs in those late frames. Crown Vic would add some RBI hits from Jeff and Dylan, but it wouldn’t be enough to keep pace. Dave Osborne and Mal-V-P also finished with multi-hit games in the losing effort.

Possibly the most exciting play of the day happened in the top of the 9th, when Vinny Rossi launched a ball to deep center. 86er RCF Ben Weisman got spun around, but fought to made a wild, horizontal catch. Motown read it the whole way and tag up from 2nd to score standing up (#camarrafitness). Pretty much summed up the way both teams were scratching and clawing to get that 5th win of the year.

Many of the Kings would join the 86ers over at Crown Vic for the post-game celebration of Jeff’s final WSL game. He went out on a walkoff last week and a 3-hit effort in this game. Fitting “end” to a great WSL career, despite the loss. Sad to see you go, bud!

(3 Kings 10 @ Crown Vic 86ers 5)

WSL Player of the Week is…Chelsey Fitzgerald!!!


Wow! I’m so damned honored. I heard the competition was fierce this week and I appreciate the nod! It’s my 4th season in the WSL and I feel like I’m finally starting to hit my stride playing for the Betty. It hasn’t always been the easy booze filled road everyone imagines beer league softball to be, but to quote the GREATEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME ‘A League of Their Own’, “Of course it’s hard. It’s supposed to be hard. If it were easy everyone would do it (kickball). The hard is what makes it great.” Thanks again, WSL Staff!!!

1. This is the second time this season you’ve received the game ball (that for reasons unknown, you’ve had to share with a guy). Has this experience made you a better sharer?

Chelsey: I’d share my balls with my team every weekend if i could. It’s ironic because I don’t have any to begin with but yet the boys always still wanna share. What’s up with boys and their balls?

2. Game Day prep- go!

Chelsey: Coffee, yoga, Ro-say Allllllll Daaay, and incessant reminders on Sunday from Kev that we “really need to leave! C’mon! I miss softball!!”

3. I saw that you brought your dog Milo to the field. If I loaned you my cat stroller, would you please bring your cat Max?

Chelsey: As a bunch of tipsy WSL’ers found out on Sunday, Milo can be a bit of an asshole when you touch his butt. Max the cat is worse. Kev trained these animals to be mean to counter his good guy image. He can be shifty like that. Don’t put that last part in. Or keep it. Whatever.

4. Speaking of pets, please explain your top 3 pet peevs.

Chelsey: Water spots on wine glasses; being called “Ma’am” by the umpire when I’m catching; and Kevin incessantly reminding me we need to leave to go play softball somewhere.

5. Do you think that with this recognition, people will finally stop calling you “Belz’s girlfriend”?

Chelsey: That would be the dream. There’s a bunch of options! You can call me Chelsey, Chels, Chelseyfitz, Cheeellllllss (credit: Mayor Buttah, Shout out: Jiiiiillllllll), ChelzBelz, Fitz, Fitzy……For the record I love being Belz’s Girlfriend 😀 (Awwwwwwwwwww)

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