Joe Godsy Division
Parkview Scorpions 6 1 .857 115 48
McCarren Hotel Titans 6 1 .857 96 60
St. Anselm 3 3 .500 73 53
Turkey's Nest AT 2 5 .286 50 64
Parkview Suzies 5 1 .833 55 42
The Bedford Yetis 3 4 .429 62 99
Pete's Candy Store 2 5 .286 73 77
Turkey's Nest 0 7 .000 20 101
Joe Fashion Division
Gibson 6 1 .857 89 44
Roebling Sports Club 5 2 .714 111 70
Clems 3 3 .500 63 56
The Gutter 86ers 1 5 .167 36 89
Kilo Bravo 4 2 .667 55 37
Echo Bravo 4 2 .667 69 44
Loggers 2 5 .286 58 83
Carmine's Bombers 1 6 .143 44 102


Week 08 - May 22
11:00 Parkview Scorpions @ Gibson 1
Loggers @ The Bedford Yetis 2
1:00 Pete's Candy Store @ Echo Bravo 1
Turkey's Nest @ Kilo Bravo 2
3:00 Carmine's Bombers @ Parkview Suzies 1
Turkey's Nest AT @ Clems 2
5:00 McCarren Hotel Titans @ The Gutter 86ers 1
St. Anselm @ Roebling Sports Club 2

Last Week's Results

Week 07 - May 15
Pete's Candy Store14 @ Turkey's Nest AT 11
Echo Bravo10 @ Roebling Sports Club 5
Loggers11 @ The Gutter 86ers 6
Carmine's Bombers5 @ Clems 12
Parkview Suzies7 @ McCarren Hotel Titans 17
The Bedford Yetis2 @ Parkview Scorpions 26
Kilo Bravo8 @ Gibson 9
Turkey's Nest0 @ St. Anselm 11

Week 3- RECAP

Wed, Apr 29, 2015

A Recap Haiku:


Field #1: The Bedford @ Turkey’s Teachers (Shortz)

O’Malley leading the team in some pre-game “yoga”. Powell impressed…or embarrassed.

Well this was an ass-whooping. Either Kane Daddy drank 29 beers to Haz’s 3, or they actually played their game. And since the Turkey’s has a bar stool with Haz’s name engraved on it (or they should), I’m guessing it was the latter.

The Bedford got right down to business by plating 4 runs in the first inning, and averaged a home run per inning. Actually, the initial Bedford report only stated their home run scorers:

  • Doug Hogan- 4
  • Matt Silverman- 1
  • Mike Masiello- 1
  • Mike O’Malley- 1 (Editors note: E-10, E-6, E-5, E-2)

Not mentioned are their second class citizens, the ones who also had days at the plate but no HRs. So I snagged the team’s internal recap to include the these additional highlights:

Linda had a great day at the plate with 2 hits, 3 RBIs and a walk. “Loud Mouth” Kane was 4/4 with a triple and shut down the big bats. Father Powell went 4/5 with a walk and a beautiful family. Oh, and O’Malley “scored a ticket to see Kids in the Hall with me on Friday” came in for the “save”. He threw 7 pitches in two innings. He also walked some people – just to make it interesting.

There were some shining lights for the Teachers too. Newbie Darlin Guerrero went 2/3 with a HR, and someone named Fimnl? Ammi? also went 2/3 (If you played RC on Sunday, I’m talking about you).

I can sense you’re starting to glaze over and are about to scroll down to the next game, so I’ll take this moment to talk about scorebooks. You managers might think it’s such a chore to send, and that we should just get them from the Umps. But it’s too taxing for the Umps to take a full picture of a book, you know, after they’ve been PAID for their services. So sadly, it’s up to you (not paid) to send it to us (also not paid). That’s said, I’m glad we do get the books now, because TNT’s book totally cracks me up.

All over their scorebook, instead of writing “F-10” or “F-2”, they just write “F”. Even on the field, they can’t stop grading. And from the looks of it these educators have collectively flunked. Will they turn that F into and A…book of black diamonds? Stay tuned…

(The Bedford 29 / Turkey’s Teachers 3)

Field #2: 3 Kings @ Berry Park ()

All Hail the Kings?

The Godsy North Division may currently be owned by the Hillfolk over at The Bedford, but Three Kings and Berry Park battled to stay in the discussion on Sunday. Both teams entered the contest at 1-1, with both losing to The Bedford in the first couple of weeks. The game kicked off the day on Field 2 at 11am. Well, it was actually closer to 11:30am…when Steph and myself eventually hustled over from the blacktop. Despite our tardiness, the real delay was the no-show of our given umpire, Mayor Al Buttah, and I am making an official plea for impeachment from mayoral status here…I am totally switching to margarine. Luckily, Bubbs was there to pick up the slack and he called a gem of a game in his WSL officiating debut.

Side note: We hear you, Zak! 11am games ARE horrible! Unless you win, then it’s definitely worth all the fuss. I know you’re not happy about having to do it all over against next Sunday, but a win will definitely cure what ails you! Also, you’re right…April did look stunning in her return to the field.

3 Kings came out swinging in the first, plating 5 runs in frame. Thomas Santoro went deep to drive in 3 of them, as part of a 4 RBI day. Berry Park would start to chip away at that lead, pulling to within 3 after Baby Boy and Nephew Joey went back-to-back with solo shots in the 4th inning. 3Ks would answer with a barrage of crooked numbers over the next 4 innings, highlighted by a Johnny Swayze homer to left in the 5th.

Motown, Kenny, Gunna and Tommy K all all finished with 3 hits on the day, as the Kings took a commanding 11-run lead into the bottom of the 9th…when the wheels would began to wobble (yay…alliteration). Hits, walks and runs began to pile up for the BP squad. The lead ticked down from 11 to 10 to 9 to…well, you get it. As the desperation started to mount for the Kings, Yeti newcomer Nick G got a McCarren hopper to clear the outfield on a solid line drive that would pull the deficit to 3 runs. That would be the last of the scoring and the game ended after Berry Park made it a little too interesting!

(3 Kings 14 / Berry Park 11)


Field #1: Black Betty @ Crown Vic 86ers (Homer Wadsworth)

Awww that’s gonna stain

Last weeks the 86ers were on top of the world with Al Bizza as reigning Mayor of the freshly redesigned Crown Vics. They won two games in a row and were feeling it.

The league was put on notice after their impressive consecutive wins. With Black Betty lined up in their sights, they figured nothing can stop them. Then things went Black.

As the Betty 2029 squad was bolstered last 4/20 by the birth of Super Dave’s babygirl, the boys and girls in Black were ready to face off with the new look 86ers and make their next stop… Blacksville- wait. Let’s def edit that, Shortz. The new jerseyed Bettys got a few runs across in the first frame but the 86ers answered in the bottom and it was game on. Freshman phenoms Quigs and Rich delivered some early firepower for the Crown Vics, and seemed to be sending a message to the other bench: We aren’t who you thought we were. The Vic turned a few double plays and made some really nice catches out in RF and on the left side of the infield.

As the game progressed into the middle innings the Betty’s AK and Jaker added the long distance firepower, killing some harmless tree buds in RF on Field 1 and scoring some runs in the process. Pickup Hunter added some timely hitting to round out the day for the historic franchise. Betty rookie flamethrower Lou G kept the 69ers in check and channeled his inner $.

That said: Don’t front on the Vics. They mean business and are eager to kick your ass. As The Commish was quoted as saying: ‘Holy cow, these kids are good!’ Holy cow indeed, H.

(Black Betty 11 / Crown Vic 86ers 7)

Field #2: Impose @ Roebling Sports Club (Shortz)


Rolling out on to field 2 in our new threads, the RSC Remy’s felt motivated to score their first win of the season. But similar to when one buys a bunch a cute outfits so they’ll go the the gym, only to spend their work out time plopped in front of the TV watching Real Housewives, our goal was not to be achieved.

Hogan did some crazy inventive switch ups in our defensive roster, which came to him in a Peyote-fueled vision quest. Phil came in to from the outfield to play second. Rookie Clichy was on the hump. We started out on top knocking in one run on a sac fly from Jake “Fake Henrik Zetterberg”.

The energy shifted, as it always seems to for the Remys, when Clinchy got a come backer to the knee from newbie right center fielder Adam Hoffman. I had a flash back to the beginning of the game when I joked to her, “I hope you brought a cup”. Though she shook it off like a pro, our bats were silenced by the shift.

We had a harder time scoring than a high school chess team, (although 21 Jump Street taught us that nerds are cool now, sooo Cheerleaders?). We were getting on base- Phil, Tyler and Andrew “Sir Hits a Lot” all went 2/3, but we couldn’t score. At one point, when we lost Bedford Sean to brunch and I remarked, “We don’t have anyone to bat in his spot…why are you all looking at me?” I had to pull my injured self off the bench and actually got on base after hitting a Shortzy Special only to be subsequently stranded there…because we couldn’t score.

Our inability to score (did I mention that we couldn’t score), had less to do with us and more to do with Impose’s defense being really on point. According to Pete, they made every play in the field and committed 0 errors (but I was distracted by my delicious smoothie, so I wasn’t paying attention). They turned two double plays including 1-5-3 to end the game (that I saw).

Those lovely athletes scored in every inning but the 7th, never putting up more than 3 per inning. Jeff Carroll was 2-4 with 2 walks and 4 RBIs. Jon Blank (on the WSLPOTW radar) was 4-5 with 2 RBIs. And “knee knocker” Adam Hoffman went 3-5 with a BB and oppo gaper HR.

EPILOGUE: While at Roebling Sporting Club for our traditional post match “eating of the feelings”, Phil got some Tots for the table to go with his delicious Burger. As Patty reached for them from across the table, she accidentally knocked Phil’s burger on to the floor- TWO BITES IN! Then Babkow served up a round of Remy Martin XO and all was right with the world.

(Impose 17 / Roebling Sports Club 1) 


Field #1: R Bar @ Gibson (Homer Wadsworth)

When I first got the assignment to cover the Gibson and R Bar game I thought what most people would think seeing these two teams face off: the R Bar would roll and the Gibson would be the lovable peeps we see pounding shots in the window at the bar afterwards. This season is different. The Gibson are a new team with new players mixed with some of the classics like Todd and Grambo, but this year they have something else they’ve never had before: swagger.

The game started out as expected with RBar knocking a few base hits: the forever-on-base lead-off king Petey (4-5) from RBar got it all started with a hit up the middle and a few hits later they were up 2-0. The Gibson would not be denied in the bottom and started their own rally that plated a few runs and put them on the board. The battle was on and not just on the field but to keep Todd out of the ATU tent. Bubbs kept up his mesmerizing pitching and kept the Gibbers off balance for the last few innings as call after call seemed to go RBar’s way.

Somewhere in the middle innings the score was 9-4 and some folks started wondering if this would be the big upset for the Gibson! Everyone…but RBar. The offense came around and the runs started in multiples around the 7th inning ……the Boys in Blue never looked back… but not before hard lessons were learned. What lesson, you ask? Don’t throw your bat. Don’t almost throw your bat. People get hurt (physically and emotionally). Most flying bats hurt people and it’s a simple rule to remember in co-ed beer league softball. Someone threw a bat in frustration halfway down the line, someone else took offense and everyone got waaaay too excited real fast. Let’s just play safe out there, folks. People have seen some shit.

Or maybe this was something else? Maybe the Gibson is tired about being told who they are? Maybe they’ve had enough and they aren’t gonna take it anymore? Did Graaaham decide that the best way to get his team motivated was to constantly berate the umpire for every close call? To be honest, its not a bad idea and based on the performance his team put together on Sunday, maybe he’s not just a lunatic coach with nothing to lose but an evil genius in sweatpants out to get revenge on the league for years of this shitty editorial about his team.

(R Bar 19 / Gibson 5)

Field #2: Loggers @ Turkey’s Nest ()

As per usual, the Nest failed to participate in process of discovery for us lowly “journalists” at the WSL website. Looking at the game notes from their opponent, I have a hard time understanding how the Loggers weren’t able to win this game. Seems like they did a lot of really cool things, yet the Turkey’s didn’t have an answer for any of them? Seriously, check this out!

Craig H hit a 2-run homer, as part of a big 3 hit, 3 RBI and 3 run day! Logger OG Al Chiano was 3 for 4 on the day, with 3 RBIs of his own! My WSFL (LFB!) homie, Jay Mort, added his own multi-hit and multi-RBI day at the plate for his WSL squad. Jeff X didn’t miss a beat, going 3 for 4 with 3 runs scored, after a 1 week hiatus from McCarren Park. When they weren’t producing runs, the Loggers were apparently busy throwing Shafer out on the base paths.

Unfortunately, WSL Player of the Week, Nelson Nunez, must have been hit with the infamous curse of this very prestigious award. Week 1 winner, Mike Q, separated his shoulder after winning and Nelson was nowhere to be found in the Loggers game notes, after dominating in the prior 2 weeks! I hate to see what happens to the Week 3 winner!

For the sake of equal time, I did see the aforementioned, Shafer, and his teammate, Weekend at Mitchies, after the game. That was pretty cool. I like those guys. Maybe not as much as Stryker does, but to a reasonable level of “like” that is representative of people that I enjoy playing sports with and against from time to time.

(Loggers 11 / Turkey’s Nest 19)


Field #1: AT United 14 / The Runaways (Homer Wadsworth)

Blessed *awesome photo cred to Denis*

The 5pm matchup had the ATU facing The Runaways, the tent was propped, the cold cuts were out and the punch had gin PLUS vodka. Oh and there was softball to play too, and play they did.

The Runaways, having just come off a close 4-3 loss to the ‘Nesters, were hoping to come out blasting with their new firepower and some new t-shirts that say ‘The Runaways’ on the front. The colors are the traditional ‘orange’ but the name is new and the team hats are dope! The ATU won last week versus the new look Loggers and rolled them to a victory. Could the ATU show they can beat up on a Runaways team that’s poised to surprise the shit out of everybody and Runaway with the league? Maybe? Actually, as it turns out, no. Spoiler alert: They lost. You can stop reading now if you weren’t just into this to see your name on the internet or to find out if you made the All-Jeans Team because, lemme tell ya, you were out in force on Sunday, folks.

GBlack and JimmyTwos (AJTM) took to the mound and tossed some great slow pitch co-ed softball quieting the ex-Candyboys and their lollipop guild. Big days by the ATU sweet spot included some 4 for 4 performances from new green & gold Phrankenstein and Danger Dan, with some clutch hitting by Moira and Dana to round out the day. Vinny then instituted the age-old Moonshine tax to anyone who reached third base (on the field, not in the tent).

For the Runaways, I can only assume that Disco Dan facing Danger Dan was as awesome a showdown as it sounds and that Sam’s 1B play will get the recognition it deserves. The next pick for my AJT is Polly from the Runaways. She dons the denim behind the dish. Congrats on the first female member to the team! See you in the WSL AJT 2016 Calendar!

(AT United 14 @ The Runaways 6)

Field #2: Enids @ Clemerica (Shortz)

As I leisurely strolled to the field for my game (I can do that now since my injury has left me sidelined), I ran into Sea Breeze. After riffing on the hilarity of drama during bar league softball games, he made a sweeping declaration- “I’ve blocked entry of my team to Clem’s. We’re showing up less drunk today!”

As Bobby and Markow continue learning to share in the infield, Clem’s were poised to score their first ‘W’.

Their bats were mighty but their balls were fielded. Dreams were crushed left and right by Tommy at SS and 10-ifer at 2B.

Scoring only came from Bobert’s luscious hair, Skipper Breeze, “Impending Daddy” DBA, and “Where’s” Stryker. (Don’t sweat it, guys- that’s still 3 more than my team could muster). But to their credit, they played 9 full innings…in a row!

On the Enid’s bench, KT held down the Pink fort in the absence of Dom, who was off somewhere chasing squirrels.

Veteran Pink Rob Lietar took a holiday from his VT diggs to lead the charge (on a team so apparently stacked, he was batting last). In his first game this season he was in mid-season 2005 form, going 4/4 and got the game ball.

The game was relatively close at 6-4 until the 9th inning when Drew Bailey a.k.a. “New Drew” lined a single over Markow to plate 2 and break the lead open. They would score 7 to win, and drink many, many, many beers to celebrate.

It was noted, “The way the Pink ladies are playing at the beginning of the season is just not fair to the rest of the league.” Careful Pinks- you don’t want to be early peakers…again.

(Enids 13 / Clemerica 4)


The WSL Player of the Week…Doug Hogan!


Doug: First of all, it’s an honor and a privilege to be selected as the WSL player of the week. I’m humbled to be included in a group of so many great athletes before me who paved the way to make this league what it is today. Not many people get the chance to compete on a stage such as this, and it is surreal to think that my name will be etched in stone forever as one of the players who had a decent game one week (barring any WSL drug testing implications).

1. You hit 4 home runs on Sunday. Was that on purpose?

Doug: The first two were on purpose. I got good pitches to hit and was able to capitalize on them. The second two I don’t remember happening. By that time I was already blacked out from Morgan’s Tequila Sangria.

2. What personal traits do you bring the The Bedford franchise?

Doug: Specifically, I think I bring a sense of urgency to one of our team leaders, Mike O’Malley…I usually show up to games no more than 1 minute before first pitch, and every game he is frantically texting me making sure I’m on the way. I like to think that momentary sense of panic gets him on his toes and mentally ready to play; and as Mike goes, the team goes.

3. If Hollywood made a movie about your life, whom would you like to see play the lead role as you?

Doug: Thomas Jane. His portrayal of Ray Drecker, a failed baseball prospect turned male prostitute in the HBO series “Hung”, makes me realize that, while I too failed to make it in baseball, the dream of becoming a male prostitute could still become a reality.

4. Where would you go in a time machine?

Doug: San Dimas, California 1989, so I could witness the single event that changed the course of history and all of mankind. Obviously, I’m referring to the high school history presentation given by Bill S. Preston, ESQ and Ted Theodore Logan in “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.” I figured the Wyld Stallyns would be way more popular by now…I’m starting to think that movie might not have been based on a true story…

5. What song best describes you?

Doug: “Real American” – Rick Derringer. Because Hulk Hogan and America, that’s why.


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