Joe Godsy Division
Parkview Scorpions 6 1 .857 115 48
McCarren Hotel Titans 6 1 .857 96 60
St. Anselm 3 3 .500 73 53
Turkey's Nest AT 2 5 .286 50 64
Parkview Suzies 5 1 .833 55 42
The Bedford Yetis 3 4 .429 62 99
Pete's Candy Store 2 5 .286 73 77
Turkey's Nest 0 7 .000 20 101
Joe Fashion Division
Gibson 6 1 .857 89 44
Roebling Sports Club 5 2 .714 111 70
Clems 3 3 .500 63 56
The Gutter 86ers 1 5 .167 36 89
Kilo Bravo 4 2 .667 55 37
Echo Bravo 4 2 .667 69 44
Loggers 2 5 .286 58 83
Carmine's Bombers 1 6 .143 44 102


Week 08 - May 22
11:00 Parkview Scorpions @ Gibson 1
Loggers @ The Bedford Yetis 2
1:00 Pete's Candy Store @ Echo Bravo 1
Turkey's Nest @ Kilo Bravo 2
3:00 Carmine's Bombers @ Parkview Suzies 1
Turkey's Nest AT @ Clems 2
5:00 McCarren Hotel Titans @ The Gutter 86ers 1
St. Anselm @ Roebling Sports Club 2

Last Week's Results

Week 07 - May 15
Pete's Candy Store14 @ Turkey's Nest AT 11
Echo Bravo10 @ Roebling Sports Club 5
Loggers11 @ The Gutter 86ers 6
Carmine's Bombers5 @ Clems 12
Parkview Suzies7 @ McCarren Hotel Titans 17
The Bedford Yetis2 @ Parkview Scorpions 26
Kilo Bravo8 @ Gibson 9
Turkey's Nest0 @ St. Anselm 11

Week 16- PREVIEW

Thu, Aug 7, 2014

 The time has come for all teams to return to their respective groups to finish out regular season play. Some teams will feel a welcome return, while others will try not have their standings sink any lower. Yes, I’m talking to you.



Field #1: Gibson vs. Turkey’s Nest (WSL Superfan)

Which fashion trend will he start this week

The Gibson looks to tune up for a world-shocking playoff run, having already locked up the 8 seed in the Joe Godsy Division.  For Turkey’s, this game means continuing to push for the #1 overall seed, having already locked the #2.  Glamor model and personal friend of famed actor and impresario Dan Shafer, Mitchell “Sparkles” Jones has already guaranteed a win in a dream I had earlier this week where he took me to the ice cream social at Southern Culture on the Skids High School (it was a dream – don’t expect any of it to make sense).  The Gibson has, of course, put this on the chalkboard for motivation, right next to the beer list.

Having heard Mitch’s cocky guarantee, Todd and his monsters are enraged.  “Bring on the Turkey’s!” they were heard to mumble through the bathroom door at the Gibson that never seems to lock correctly. What were they doing in there?  Wait until tomorrow and I’m sure I’ll be able to dream up something that involves magical pants and a sick talking snake that exhorts the team to “Win one for me!  Also, eat that apple!” 

For Gibson, this is a tune-up for the first round versus R Bar (likely) – for the Turks, it’s all about momentum and controlling Mitch’s hairstyles, because the team has only one heart and soul, and that’s the original “Stache”, Dan the man Shafer.

Field #2: Crown Vic 86ers vs. RBar (WSL Superfan)

I’M WATCHING YOU! You decide if it’s creepy

The reality is that this is the game where RBar can all but lock up the #1 seed.  They lead Spike Hill by 20 in the runs against tie breaker and have the head to head win versus Turkey’s.  Meanwhile, Crown Vic is pushing for a .500 campaign and to leapfrog Reel 2 Reel for the #5 seed and a date with Brooklyn Bowl in the first round, barring any unexpected losing streaks by Turkey’s or Spike Hill.  Crown Vic has a number of impressive wins this year and tight losses – last time around, RBar was victorious by 4 runs on lefty-friendly Field #1.

Can the Mayor and his crew shut down the big bats of R Bar Sunday? Or will Slappy, Bubbs and crew do what they have done so many times this year – adjust to the opposition and ride their deep lineup and clutch players to victory?  This one is definitely worth getting up for – also Natalie is apparently pissed already, but we aren’t sure what about.  WSL Superfan will be there (hiding in the trees with a boom mic and binoculars) – Be there too and leave me some food, because I get hungry up here.


Field #1: Brooklyn Bowl vs. Clemerica (Stryker)

The Bowlers are one of my favorite teams to play against in the league. They always beat us, but still they hold a special place in my heart.  I think its because they never heckle me.  In fact, they never talk shit to anyone.  They are one of the most nonchalant teams out there. Always so quiet and reserved.  Wait…I’m starting to change my mind. Why don’t you guys ever get fired up?! Why are you so quiet?!  That’s it, I hate you guys and your control over your emotions.  I am now making it a goal to try and get under your skin this game.  Godsy, I want to make you charge the mound and kick dirt all over my shins. I want to see a breakdown. You too Palma, you guys are way to calm, cool, and collected out there.  It just doesn’t seem right for this league.

The Battleship is coming off a real strong win against Spike Hill (or a really tough loss to Pete’s Candy Store).  The Bowlers, although having another really strong defensive game, took a tough loss to the Bums last week.  At least one of us is guaranteed a win this week.

Also; Godsy, I’m bringing that Clemerica gear you have been beggin’ me for all season, so bring your $$.  Your getting a hat ($20) and both T’s ($15 each) .   You prob don’t need to bring your bowlers gear, as I imagine you will want to be sporting our fresh shit.  I assume you want Small for the T’s, do you want me to cut them into belly shirts at home or do you want to take care of that on the field?

Field #2: Reel2Reel vs. Spike Hill (Shortz)

The Reelers head back to the “Group of Death” to face the mighty Spike Hillians. We had them on the ropes when we last met this season, but couldn’t land that final KO blow.

I won’t speculate on the many things this game will be for these teams with a storied past. Instead, I’ll speculate on what this game won’t be- boring. Why, you ask? Well, Mo and I will be honoring the longtime tradition of respect and brotherhood in bringing back THE SUMO BUMPERS!!!!!

Guess the Sumo Bumper scenario:

  • Mo-rtz engage in 7th inning stretch game of Sumo Bumper Chicken
  • Mo-rtz attach suspenders to Sumo Bumpers and attempt an at bat
  • Mo-rtz are forced to play with Sumo Bumpers on the sidelines because the Michaels put the wet-blanket kibosh on any on-field Sumo Bumper shenanigans.

May the best bumper win…wait-


Field #1: AT United vs. Loggers (Stryker)

There’s two age old questions I would like to tackle in this preview.

The first:

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

This question is absolutely ridiculous.  Of course it makes a sound, its a GD tree!  Is mankind that self-centered that we could possibly think, “Hey if I’m not there to hear a sound it must not exist? Stupid. I’d like to meet the moron that came up with that philosophical gem.  I’ll give him something to think about!

The second:

Which came first: El Drunko Tanko or the beer?

Now this is a real thinker. I could sit on the toilet for hours trying to figure this one out and still have no idea. On the one hand, you need a bright green rolling cooler to keep the beer cold, right? Buuuuut, on the other hand, you need beer to put in the cooler.  So which do you get first?  I guess this one might never get solved.

Hey! I think I also found out where bears shit when they can’t find the woods!

Oh yeah, there’s a softball game this Sunday.  AT United is playing The Loggers.  Should be a good game?

Field #2: 3 Kings vs. Turkey’s Teachers (Stache)

Hey Teachers- Maybe I could be…of hand?

Here we go again!  Week 16 is here and we’re back to the WSL division rivalries.  Seems like it was just yesterday when the Teachers and Kings last faced off, but it’s been over 3 months now!  Potential playoff implications are taking shape and teams are beginning to make their collective pushes to the postseason.  A lot is at stake this week around the league and this game should have both clubs ready for battle!

The Kings and ATU are deadlocked atop the division at 8-7 (with ATU holding the tiebreaker) and seem destined for a Week 18 showdown for the division crown.  Standing in the way for 3Ks is a somewhat rejuvenated Turkey’s Teachers team, who have been playing some better ball in recent weeks. Defense has been the Achilles heel for TNT, which could spell disaster when facing a dangerous 3 Kings lineup.  The Kings have been working to right the ship, after an epic midseason slump. 2 victories in 2 weeks have boosted morale, as they set their sights on a Fashion South title.

Considering the 1-run scare that the Teachers gave us in our rematch last fall, I have a quick question to ask.  Can you have another Bachelor Party for your squad on Saturday, Haz?  Being the benevolent soul that I am, I’ll even buy the first round…of beers…not lap dances.


Field #1: Black Betty vs. Soft Spot (Stache)

Since Good Co. has mathematically wrapped up the Fashion North crown (and the entire Fashion Division for that matter), everyone else is left to fight for playoff seeding.  Black Betty and Soft Spot each have a lot at stake this week, considering they are both in the hunt the 3 seed come playoff time.

Black Betty announced the return of “Betty Ball” last weekend, chopping down the Loggers in a laughter.  That gives them wins in 2 of their last 3 and puts them right in the mix with the 3 other 8-7 teams in the Fashion side of the WSL playoff bracket.  Soft Spot fell flat on Sunday, getting smacked by ATU and ending their 4 game winning streak.  That leaves them sitting at 7-8 and looking to get back to the .500 mark this week.

In recent history, the Yetis and Bettys hooked up earlier this season and it was all Black, all the time.  Since that day, each team has run very hot and very cold at times.  No doubt, one of them is going to have to come up big to take down the other and I have a feeling this one may be decided late.  Truthfully, my money is on…empanadas…because I don’t like to bet…and empanadas are delicious.

Field #2: Pete’s Candy Store vs. Good Company (Shortz)

Last night I watched The Big Lebowski on the black top with 3/20 of Good Company. In a homage to things topical, the movie crept it’s way in to this weeks preview.

The Pink Co-bowski got their rugs urinated on by the Pete’s Candy in Week 3 and are seeking compensation in the form of a ‘W’.

The (silver haired) Dude and his crew have been on a tear this season but should keep watch over their White Russian cocktails to avoid a poisoning by the Candy Folk.

This game could be epic- The Pink Co-bowski are ready to throw down.

And some point there’ll be a dispute about the rules.

With a bunch of choice words for the ump when they inevitably blow a call:

 But no matter what goes down please remember it’s bar-league, slow pitch softball.

So “Fuck it, Dude. Let’s play Fingers.”

 This week’s preview brought to you by:


The New New Additions


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