Joe Godsy Division
Parkview Scorpions 6 1 .857 115 48
McCarren Hotel Titans 6 1 .857 96 60
St. Anselm 3 3 .500 73 53
Turkey's Nest AT 2 5 .286 50 64
Parkview Suzies 5 1 .833 55 42
The Bedford Yetis 3 4 .429 62 99
Pete's Candy Store 2 5 .286 73 77
Turkey's Nest 0 7 .000 20 101
Joe Fashion Division
Gibson 6 1 .857 89 44
Roebling Sports Club 5 2 .714 111 70
Clems 3 3 .500 63 56
The Gutter 86ers 1 5 .167 36 89
Kilo Bravo 4 2 .667 55 37
Echo Bravo 4 2 .667 69 44
Loggers 2 5 .286 58 83
Carmine's Bombers 1 6 .143 44 102


Week 08 - May 22
11:00 Parkview Scorpions @ Gibson 1
Loggers @ The Bedford Yetis 2
1:00 Pete's Candy Store @ Echo Bravo 1
Turkey's Nest @ Kilo Bravo 2
3:00 Carmine's Bombers @ Parkview Suzies 1
Turkey's Nest AT @ Clems 2
5:00 McCarren Hotel Titans @ The Gutter 86ers 1
St. Anselm @ Roebling Sports Club 2

Last Week's Results

Week 07 - May 15
Pete's Candy Store14 @ Turkey's Nest AT 11
Echo Bravo10 @ Roebling Sports Club 5
Loggers11 @ The Gutter 86ers 6
Carmine's Bombers5 @ Clems 12
Parkview Suzies7 @ McCarren Hotel Titans 17
The Bedford Yetis2 @ Parkview Scorpions 26
Kilo Bravo8 @ Gibson 9
Turkey's Nest0 @ St. Anselm 11

Week 14- RECAP

Tue, Jul 29, 2014

Luckily I got an emergency appointment with Dr. Russell over at The Gibson.

Week 14?! End of July already? How’d that happen?

Time flies when you’re hitting bombs and getting bombed,  so enjoy our write-ups for a day filled with intrigue and injury.






Field #1: Gibson vs. RBar (WSL SUPERFAN)

R Bar trailed 2-0 until the 2nd inning when they scored 5 runs including a big 2-RBI single by Jay Merhaut. In the 3rd inning, they increased the lead when Sam G hit a 2-run homer. Teddy Browne pitched a great game getting out of two bases loaded jams.  He also was supported by his defense including a great diving catch by Adam in Left field. Mikey Black and Adam had 3 hits a piece and Bubbs hit his 12th homer of the season in the 8th inning to help R Bar achieve a 12 to 5 win.

We got zilch from The Gibson, so please enjoy this video of D-Lo’s kittens!

( Gibson: 5 / RBar: 12 )

Field #2: Crown Vic 86ers vs. Clemerica (Stryker)

I think the real recipe Clem’s has found to victory is to continuously teabag Stryker

We’re streaking!!!  Our first back to back wins of the season!  It was a magical Sunday as we rolled into the park for our favorite time slot, the 11AMer.  Everyone was feeling terrible, but in a good, still kinda drunk way.  It was also DBA’s Birth Anniversary.  These factors combined with Crown Vic missing some key players (The Mayor himself, Andre, Kathryn, Kate, and Barnes) was a recipe  for some good old fashioned Clemerican Hooch (always a win).

I guess the Mayor and the rest of the missing 86ers were too busy on the campaign trail to be bothered with this game. Crown Vic would keep it close until about the third, when the Clemerican bats were just too much to handle.  The Battleship was peppering cannon balls and torpedoes all over the left side of the field. Even with the great Jeff in LF, there were just too many hits for him to handle.

The birthday boy himself, DBA, would seal the victory for Clem’s with a monster shot to left (1 of 2 on the day) that landed on the sidewalk. That’s just pure power. Q, on the 86ers, came close to matching it with a monster shot of his own to center, but it didn’t escape the park soooooo….he did however have an all around great day at the plate, with 3 hits to go along with the moon shot.

Mallory was, of course, great at short, but by the middle innings the wheels came off for Crown Vic and they were left up on cinder blocks as The Battleship continued to lace hits scattered with a few key walks and errors.  DBA would also demoralize the 86ers as he caught a ball in foul territory off 1B, then lasered a ball to Devon at home plate on an unexpected tag up from 3rd.  Devon made an amazing catch and put the tag on as she got leveled at home.

The main reason the 86ers probably lost was because Jeff didn’t get dirty or bloody in the game.  Game ball went to DBA, who successfully completed an amazing game and 35 years on this stink hole of a planet.

Almost forgot, Shortz filled in for us and had an amazing over the shoulder boulder holder catch at 2B and a couple nice hits, ok maybe it was just one.  She also came to celebrate with us at Clem’s and said it was the most fun after a softball game she ever had. She also agreed to come down and play for us at 11am and didn’t have her game til 5. That’s heart.

( Clemerica: 21 / 86ers: 9 )


Field #1: Soft Spot vs. Turkey’s Teachers (Shortz)

For (both of) my fans who read my preview recounting recent history of these clubs, a tension filled match was set for 3pm. The Yetis’ pre-game prep was underscored by the National Anthem, a clear indicator that their prior alliance with Teachers was no more.

In a bold move, Haz took the mound for the first time this season and for 5 innings, kept the game exceedingly close. But, before the crowd could bust out their Kyoceras (seriously, read the previews people), the Yetis remembered that they hate losing (hence why they got all “Americanized” recently) and pulled ahead in the 6th inning thanks to back to back to back hits from Dietz, Steph and Joey. But the real cherry on the Yetis bench was Winston “my BFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF”, who made his triumphant return after cataract surgery to whoop some oppo-ass and help the Softies win their 4th straight, reaching .500.

The friendship of these clubs may’ve fizzled over my not-made-up story, but the friendship of the league in helping out teams in need reigned. MalloryVP filled in for the depleted lady Yetis, while…someone? filled in for a few innings when one of the Teachers left the building.

Haz and the crew are in desperate need for this season to mercifully end so they can burn all their jerseys and cleanse them of this year’s demons and bad mojo.

(Soft Spot 21 / Turkey’s Teachers 6)

Field #2: Pete’s Candy Store vs. Loggers (Stache)

With “half of Pete’s team stuck in traffic on the NJ turnpike” (likely excuse!) and Captain Blues Clues off at umpire camp (finally!), the Candy Kids were struggling to fill out a lineup on Sunday.  Considering the Loggers were out in force to celebrate the final WSL game of Mike “Splovies Master” Saris (what the fuck is a splovie?), this game had upset written all over it!

I tried my best to follow the action from underneath the big shaded tree on Field 2, after a near-emergency call-up to fill in for the Teacher’s game.  By the time I settled in, PCS held a 3 or 4 run lead and appeared to be up to the task, despite their poor attendance.  As we all know, it’s the WSL and everybody has a rally.  That Loggers push came in the 7th inning, grabbing the lead by plating 3 on the backs of Al Chiano and Steve Albert.  The Lumberpeople held a 9-6 lead into the 9th inning, when one of the tardy Pete’s players, Luke, hit a solo bomb to bring the deficit down to 2.  After loading the bases and scoring another run, the Loggers defense were able to close the door on a narrow victory.

Only a handful of close games this week in the WSL and this was one of the gems.  It had the back story (which I couldn’t come up with in the preview), the defense, and the timely hitting.  Good luck to Mike Saris on his “Around The World In 80 Days” adventure, and hopefully PCS gets stuck on the turnpike again next week.

On a side note:  Sometimes you ask for snacks in your preview and then, out of nowhere, D-Lo gives you half of her delicious Urban Rustic sandwich.  Thanks D-Lo!

( Pete’s: 8/ Loggers: 9 )


Field #1: Black Betty vs. 3 Kings (Stache)

I’m getting exhausted just thinking about this game.  What a scorcher it was on Sunday!  The midday heat and humidity was less than ideal, but the Kings and the Bettys laced ‘em up regardless!

The action came quick in the top of the 1st, as Black Betty dropped a 3-spot on a flurry of base hits and creative baserunning (by guess who?).  The defenses then started to take control, with 6 combined double plays from the two teams.  Kenny and Camarra were trading highlight reel catches in the outfield, while Francesca was flipping and firing all day at SS for 3Ks.  Denis and JB$ were both dealing on the mound, working out of jams and keeping the opposition off-balance all day.

Eventually the 3 Kings bats started working and Johnny Franzese launched a 3 run shot into left center, which resulted in Big Dave Pretto tweaking his knee (X-Rays were negative…MRI results pending).  Already banged up, Black Betty decided to finish with 3 outfielders, which 3Ks just could not take advantage of.  Up just 1 run in the top of the 9th, the Bettys stranded the tying run on 3rd to end the game.

Both teams fought hard, talked some trash, and still had a laugh afterwards. Each team is also sitting at 7-7 on the year and in 2nd place in their respective divisions.  I am really looking forward to the inevitable playoff match-up, as the last 2 times these clubs faced off were 2 of the best games I have been apart of in the WSL.  After the final out, 3K’s own Nick Tomeo let out the last, “Let’s Fucking Go!”…and, of course, Mr. Camarra made sure to remind us again that we “still have to do it in the playoffs!”  We know, Mike…we know.

( Black Betty: 6 / 3 Kings: 7 )

Field #2: Good Company vs. AT United (Stryker)

AT took an early lead with a 4 run 1st, but would manage only 2 runs in the final eight innings. A good ol’ fashioned pickle happened in the 4th. A legit pickle is rare around the league, but they happen, and The Pinks showed they know their fundamentals and executed Perfect Pickle Protocol. Eventually Wally had enough of the back and forth, and dove at the last second to get the out. Dom had 3 RBIs to lead a mediocre Pink attack, which was all their defense needed as it was what won it for Good Co.

Drew had a fantastic day at Short, and Jen 10 had a good sliding catch in the outfield. The play of the day happened in the 8th inning though, when AT had base runners on 2nd and 3rd, two outs, with the top of their line up to bat. The AT batter scorches a Grey Fox pitch which probably would have gone for a homer and tied up the game, when KT snatched it. This ball was hit as hard as a ball can be hit. The webbing in her glove almost came apart. I’m still baffled as to how her hand didn’t get taken off at the wrist. The pink ladies are killing it.

And now some Sunday musings by the man, the myth, the legend… Shafer.

“I swear it was yesterday when I found myself picking up my best friend, Blue, at Queens central booking for assaulting Mr. Met. The overworked judge looked at him and said,“In my opinion, that mascot’s giant head was made to be punched. You’re lucky I’m a Mets fan.”

That wasn’t yesterday. It was 10 years ago.

I swear, what used to be a year is now just a few happy hours muddled in with Thanksgiving and watching your wife birth a kid.

Two weeks ago, the Turkey’s felt like Luke Wilson after “Old School” premiered.
We were the best at what we did, and people knew it.

Then along came Bradley Cooper (Spike Hill) and Zach Galifinakis (R Bar), and suddenly we were talking to Stamos and the Sham Wow Guy about a possible buddy cop web series.

Time doesn’t stop for anyone.

The Turkey’s run was over before it began. Like Stryker hearing the bartender yell “last call” after pumping an Andrew Jackson in the juke to play “It’s Raining Men” on repeat, we knew we had minutes till our Cinderella run was over. Unlike Stryker, we couldn’t hit grinder and find Miguel’s soft warm embrace.

We needed to do something to bring back the Turkey’s of May and June, who played like spring breakers in Cabo with no care in the world and ruffies in their pocket.

In honor of Luke Wilson, we went “Old School.”

Oranges were sliced, Kudos and Milano cookies were divvied up, and we drank Coors Lights like they were Capri Suns.

And just like Mr. Met’s head on the mezzanine that July day in 2007, we crushed it.”

( Good Co: 10 /ATU: 6 )


Field #1: Brooklyn Bowl vs. Spike Hill (WSL SUPERFAN)

When you were a kid, did your parents ever go away for a couple of days and leave you with a babysitter? Do you remember how you acted towards the person left in charge? If you were like me, the WSL Superfan, you were probably terrible and terrifying, doing all the things that you would never do around your parents.

That’s basically how Spike Hill acted on Sunday without their “Daddy”, Mike O’Malley, who was busy sipping Port wine and visiting the birthplace of Christiano Ronaldo in Portugal. I guess since he was gone, the rest of his team decided it would be ‘cute’ to start playing questionable defense and pitch like 50 Cent was their pitching coach. The result? A bare-assed spanking by Brooklyn Bowl.

In the first, however, Spike Hill was the team who looked liked they’d be handing out the punishment. Alex “Let’s Smoke A” Dubin came out crushing, with a stratospheric homerun that gave them a early 3-2 lead. The Spikers thought this was going to be just another day at the park—but then they started pitching.

They walked 11 batters. No, I didn’t accidently hit the number 1 button twice on my keyboard. Say it with me, Al ButtahEEEEELLEEEEEVEEEEEEEEEEEN! Spike Hill walked so many Brooklyn Bowl batters, it became a drinking game on the sidelines, leaving the Drunk Tank empty for the first time in WSL history.

With all those runners on base, the Bowlers finally got clutch. 15 of their 20 runs were with two outs! Joel Duverge went 3 for 3, Billy Reilly crushed 2 doubles and Joe Godsy hit a triple while finishing 3 for 4. Last but not least, Bash Brothers Jon Blank and Chad Ostrom each had 3-run dingers.

To add salt to the Spike Hill wound, poor Mike Powell brought his infant daughter to the game. Spike Hill’s effort may have forever ruined Softball for her.

( Brooklyn Bowl: 20 / Spike Hill: 11 )

Field #2: Turkey’s Nest vs. Reel2Reel (Shortz)

I was feeling pretty confident heading to my second game of the day. My debut on Clem’s was a triumph, and like the rest of my official team, we were hungry for some Turkey dinner. Shafer, filling in for Disco as Den Mother, brought his team the proper fuel:

  • Orange slices
  • Kudos
  • Coors Light
  • Manilas (only for good plays)

Mitch was later found hitting on this pole, mistaking it for a curvy hipster with similar fashions sense

The main thing we thought we had going for us was our rivals were at varying levels of intoxication. But, as the game the game played out, we sadly learned that they weren’t drunk enough.

The first inning told a different story, The Reelers saw the Nest’s 5 runs (capped with Shafer’s BOMB, in which he chanted “I LOVE MY DAUGHTER” as he rounded the bases), and raised them 2 to make the score 7-5. The Nest score 4 more in the 2nd inning but we weren’t worried, we still had a whole lot of game left and no one was injured.

…Then someone got injured.

Apparently it was my turn to suffer the pain that always changes our fortune for the worst. A wild throw from the outfield coupled with a collision with the runner barreling into 2B, left my finger feeling things. Painful things. I quickly threw off my glove to inspect the damage when I heard something from the Nester’s bench.

Was it the sound of waves crashing? No. Cries of concern? No. A swarm of bees? No.

It was sound of BOOS, because they thought I shoved their beloved Bryan Helm. First off- thanks a lot! Secondly, let me tell you some shit about Bryan Helm:

  • My teammate on multiple squads for years
  • Favorite Canadian of all time
  • Has the most amazing dog named Biscuit whom I LOVE

So, as you can see, it’s statistically impossible for me to ever inflict pain onto my Canadian Tuxedo-wearing friend. Y’all just hadn’t sobered up yet.

Where the hell was I? Ah yes, from then on, I was nothing more than a glorified prop in the field and at the plate, and collectively we couldn’t have score even if we had been offered free Budweisers for life.

The most depressing was Sir Hit-A-Lot’s almost HR, robbed by a sobering Mitch, and Phil’s would-be homer, dashed at the dish after Shafer and Jake took it away with a some dumb, sick relay.

Their defense kept up, and the hits kept coming, specifically from Korny, Jake and Canadian Club (all 3-4 with a walk) and also JL, (5-5 with an attempt to honor Stryker by hitting ice cream truck on Driggs. He failed.)

It wouldn’t be a Turkey’s recap without a Stryker mention, continuing the storyline of “will they or won’t they…let Stryker in their Boys of Summer Fraternity.” If you missed his daily pledge this week, scroll back up to the Good Co/ATU recap.

(Turkey’s Nest 19 / Reel2Reel 8)

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