Joe Godsy Division
Parkview Scorpions 6 1 .857 115 48
McCarren Hotel Titans 6 1 .857 96 60
St. Anselm 3 3 .500 73 53
Turkey's Nest AT 2 5 .286 50 64
Parkview Suzies 5 1 .833 55 42
The Bedford Yetis 3 4 .429 62 99
Pete's Candy Store 2 5 .286 73 77
Turkey's Nest 0 7 .000 20 101
Joe Fashion Division
Gibson 6 1 .857 89 44
Roebling Sports Club 5 2 .714 111 70
Clems 3 3 .500 63 56
The Gutter 86ers 1 5 .167 36 89
Kilo Bravo 4 2 .667 55 37
Echo Bravo 4 2 .667 69 44
Loggers 2 5 .286 58 83
Carmine's Bombers 1 6 .143 44 102


Week 08 - May 22
11:00 Parkview Scorpions @ Gibson 1
Loggers @ The Bedford Yetis 2
1:00 Pete's Candy Store @ Echo Bravo 1
Turkey's Nest @ Kilo Bravo 2
3:00 Carmine's Bombers @ Parkview Suzies 1
Turkey's Nest AT @ Clems 2
5:00 McCarren Hotel Titans @ The Gutter 86ers 1
St. Anselm @ Roebling Sports Club 2

Last Week's Results

Week 07 - May 15
Pete's Candy Store14 @ Turkey's Nest AT 11
Echo Bravo10 @ Roebling Sports Club 5
Loggers11 @ The Gutter 86ers 6
Carmine's Bombers5 @ Clems 12
Parkview Suzies7 @ McCarren Hotel Titans 17
The Bedford Yetis2 @ Parkview Scorpions 26
Kilo Bravo8 @ Gibson 9
Turkey's Nest0 @ St. Anselm 11

Week 9 – PREVIEW

Thu, Jun 12, 2014

It’s Father’s Day this Sunday…do you know where your children are?


Field #1: Spike Hill vs. Soft Spot (Stryker)

It’s Star Wars vs. Spaceballs in this one folks. We will see if Pizza “the Hut” and James “Lonestar” Toolan have what it takes to bring down Mike “Emperor Palpatine” O’Malley and the rest of the fallen jedis.

The Yetis are gonna have to bring more than 4 runs and their flying RV if they want too take down the reigning champs and save the universe from the clutches of the dark side.  I heard O’Malley has been making his team eat pizza for every meal this week in preparation for this one.  May the Schwartz be with Yetis. I hope you cut them open and crawl inside their stomachs for warmth. Not to mention it would make a helluva recap graphic!

Field #2: Reel 2 Reel vs. Pete’s (Shortz)

Previously on Pete’s vs. Reel2Reel…

Two of the elite 8 met on field one. The former Ducks were finally getting their shit together with Pete’s in their path of destruction. Keenly aware of the Ducks newfound power, many a Candyfolk stayed home (including their fearful leader), as the Ducks forged ahead to win by double digits. Blackout.

The interwebz went ABLAZE with criticism when the episode (titled “BREADCRUMBS, BITCH”) aired. Fans took to their Twitters and Facebooks declaring, “Hollow win against a severely depleted Pete’s”, and “That married couple on duckduck are the only reason I still watch”.

Now that you’re all caught up, tune in this season for the premiere episode, “Battle of the .500 clubs!”

To the viewer, the title may foreshadow a close match-up with friendship and karate for everyone, but I always get screwed when I surmise close match-ups. So instead I’ll forecast the BIGGEST BLOWOUT OF THE SEASON. (Relax, Reelers, I didn’t say WHO would get blown out).


Field #1: Crown Vic 86ers vs. Black Betty (Stryker)

If it was a match-up between the two pics above, I’d take crown vic every time. Luckily, we’re dealing with softball and not a riot. The Crown Vics have had a very up and down season, just like when they chased OJ up and down the freeway 20 years ago. Black Betty’s been all over the place this year, but have somehow put together a winning record. It seems like the aging Bettys have either been slow playing this season and saving their tired limbs for the post season or perhaps the reign is over?  Are the Betty’s finally retiring ten years after their bar did?

I’ll tell ya, they’re gonna have to score more than 2 runs this week if they hope to not get 86’d by the 86ers.  My only advice for Black Betty is if you see the Crown Vic rolling up on you, just keep your hands where they can see ’em.

Field #2: RBar vs. Good Co. (Shortz)

Another 2013 elite 8 rematch. Although not aired on TV last season, (SPOILER ALERT AHEAD), Winner-Winner-Chicken-Dinner went to Good Co.

R Bar is playing pretty good so far this season, but Good Co. is playing AWESOME…like House of Cards awesome.

Conquering while making you feel like it was your idea to let them rise in the rankings- that’s the oldest trick in the H.O.C. playbook! And their dupery is sooooo finessed; you can’t help but to tip your cap and say, “Respect, Pinks.”

Will R Bar take these Pink Underwoods down? Will they be imprisoned for trying to expose Good Co.’s softball crimes? Will I stop watching so much TV (oh who am I kidding)?


Field #1: AT United vs. Gibson (Stache)

Sunday will mark the 6th time in the 2014 WSL season that the Gibson has faced an opponent who are/were coming off a loss.  Their next opponent, ATU, has lost 4 of their last 5 and are coming off a tough defeat at the hands of the Turkey’s Nest.  One word:  SLUMPBUSTER!

I am aware that not all of us have experienced the glory of the “new” Gibson squad.  I’m sure you may have heard the tales of a stronger lineup and some solid defense, but the fact remains that they are winless to date.  Judgement Day is coming for some unsuspecting WSL team and the Gibbys are ready to fist pump like it’s 1988 all over again.  Maybe ATU will be that team?  I sort of like the idea of Gerald “Eckersly” Marquez staring blankly at a Gibby homer sailing over the outfield for the walk off win.

Field #2: 3 Kings vs. Clemerica (Stryker)

The Battleship is coming off a strong win vs. their biggest rival in the league and this week they face their 2nd biggest in the form of 3 “Kings.”  I remember it was about 2 or 3 seasons ago when things got interesting between these two teams.  I was just a freelance writer for the site at the time and we just came off a big win against the Kings (this is back when they had those awesome giant skull jerseys).  So I sent in my recap and may have referred to our opponent as the “3 Queens”.  I had no idea it would affect Stache so much and stay with him so long.  No idea until he sent me this.

Our last meeting was in the opening round of the playoffs last year and ohhhh what a game it was.  The Battleship came out hard and fast and were up by 10 deep into the game.  The Clemericans were being good gentlemen (and gentlewomen) and were about to gracefully win the game when the wheels came off.

Now Stache’s version of this story differs a bit from mine- differs in the fact that mine is the truth and his is not.  A delightful family was randomly watching the battleship dominate and their young child of 6 was cheering wholeheartedly.  Now, this child happened (by complete chance) to be wearing a pirate costume.  The scene was too perfect to not have this kid run me out a margarita to the mound mid inning.  Well, Stache claims we set it up, brought the kid with us, that we were “High Stepping”, and really trying to rub in our dominance over the game.  He huddled his team up and told them all to hit it to our right fielder (no longer on the team).  After about 20 hits to right, the Kings stormed back from 10 down and would go on to sink the Battleship.  Our dreams were wiped away like a shitty tattoo of a butterfly getting lasered off.  This should be a real bloodbath as both teams are super fired up for a win.  I picture the game turning out something like this:


Field #1: Loggers vs. Turkey’s Next (Shortz)

Gone are the days when we thought Turkey’s were channeling the Black Sox, as they face off against the newly confident (thanks, Gibson!) Loggers franchise.

When I probed the Nesters for locker room chatter, they revealed they have “No idea who the Loggers are”. Oh Snap! This team be wearing (Disco) Sunglasses at night like they celebrities.

Lest they forget their last season matchup when they won by a couple of touchdowns. And lest they forget, that like every season, it’s a marathon, not a sprint.

Clouded memories of their impending opponent or not, The Boys of Summer intend to get pumped up by TP-ing Stryker’s place in retaliation for mentioning them so often in his posts, regardless if he’s covering their game.

Field #2: Turkey’s Teachers vs. Brooklyn Bowl (Stache)

For our Turkey’s Teachers friends, here’s a little foreign language lesson to study up on before facing off with Brooklyn Bowl on Sunday:

English:  First team to 9 wins!

Spanish:  El primer equipo en 9 ganará!

German:  Das erste Team, 9 wird gewinnen!

Italian:  La prima squadra a 9 vincerà!

Russian:  Первая команда, которая 9 победит!

Chinese:  第一隊9會贏!

Got that, Haz?  Better come out swinging early if you want to take down the Bowlers!  BB is currently riding the wave of a 4 game winning streak and hold an impressive 6-2 record, despite a number of real nail-biter victories.  They seem to have found their stride, while the TNT crew is scuffling through 5 losses in a row.  The Teachers HAVE managed to plate 9 runs on a few occasions this season, so maybe we’ll actually get a little Sunday School lesson in the form of David vs Goliath? AND…it’s Week 9 – coincidence?

This week’s preview brought to by:

Will Ferrell’s growing line of sunscreen products

Be there.


The New New Additions


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