Joe Godsy Division
Parkview Scorpions 7 1 .875 131 61
McCarren Hotel Titans 7 1 .875 110 66
St. Anselm 3 4 .429 76 57
Turkey's Nest AT 2 6 .250 61 82
Parkview Suzies 6 1 .857 71 48
The Bedford Yetis 4 4 .500 73 109
Pete's Candy Store 2 6 .250 81 102
Turkey's Nest 0 8 .000 26 130
Joe Fashion Division
Gibson 6 2 .750 102 60
Roebling Sports Club 6 2 .750 115 73
Clems 4 3 .571 81 67
The Gutter 86ers 1 6 .143 42 103
Kilo Bravo 5 2 .714 84 43
Echo Bravo 5 2 .714 94 52
Loggers 2 6 .250 68 94
Carmine's Bombers 1 7 .125 50 118



Last Week's Results

Week 08 - May 22
Parkview Scorpions16 @ Gibson 13
Loggers10 @ The Bedford Yetis 11
Pete's Candy Store8 @ Echo Bravo 25
Turkey's Nest6 @ Kilo Bravo 29
Carmine's Bombers6 @ Parkview Suzies 16
Turkey's Nest AT11 @ Clems 18
McCarren Hotel Titans14 @ The Gutter 86ers 6
St. Anselm3 @ Roebling Sports Club 4

Week 7 – RECAP

Tue, Jun 3, 2014

This past Sunday we all experienced a mixed bag of weird rule changes, batting glove tans, and getting punched in an elevator…oh sorry- that last one only happened to Shawn during his guest spot on Believe.

Does someone need a hug?


Field #1: Turkey’s Teachers vs. Spike Hill (Shortz)

You still get an A, Teachers!

Capitalizing on a jet-lagged O’Malley and his wild pitches, Andre Rodriguez, Tristan Schwartzmen and Efran Montilla helped the Teachers score 9 runs in the top of the 2nd, culminated with a home run by Teachers 3rd basemen Joe Siedel.

Helping the Teacher’s cause was new pitcher Jason Perez, who silenced the Hillians’ bats for quite a few innings (and struck out Home Run monster Dubin swinging).

What seemed like a re-educated Teachers offensive effort was eventually matched by Spike Hill when they tied it up 12-12 going into the 7th inning. Then Spike Hill got all “Spike Hill” and ran up the score. O’Malley redeemed himself with his trademark “oppo special” homer, Dubin added 2 additional homers and Leo and newbie John “Jonathan M” Metzl also contributed to the onslaught. But really, we all know Mo and Kris sponsored this 15-run offensive bailout.

The Hillian defense then proceeded to completely shut down the Teachers’ efforts, with double plays turned by Chris Irish and Mo and a myriad of diving catches and classy scoops in the outfield.

The teachers tried to close the gap, but over aggressive base running was their undoing and resulted in the final out.

(Spike Hill 27 / Turkey’s Teacher’s 12)

Field #2: Loggers vs. Reel2Reel (Decker/Shortz)
With a skeleton crew of 9, Reel2Reel was very unsure as to how the morning would shake out. Our 3-man outfield was immediately shaken to the core when newbie Logger Noel hit a home run in his first at bat. The Loggers continued to give us a scare in the 2nd inning when they tacked on 5 runs…but the Reelers got their shit together and answered right back with 7 runs in the 3rd.

Then…controversy ERUPTED on field 2.

Decker, inflicted with brain trauma after trying to catch an infield fly with his face, stumbled upon the minimum line-up rule:

A team must use a minimum line-up of 10 players. 2 of those 10 players MUST be women. If they can only bat 9, the 10th slot is an automatic out, if they can only bat 8, the 9th and 10th slots are automatic outs.

Since we were already short-handed, the Loggers were about to ignore the rule when resident agitator Sgt. Andre started mouthing off that “rules are rules- you have to do it”. It was decided the new rule would stand, but it would cost the Loggers dearly.

The clouds parted, and God himself single handedly stranded the Loggers on the bases every inning whilst he whispered, “Karma, bitches”.

Okay, maybe a Reel2Reel-centric rapture didn’t actually happen, but “5-5” Pervil sure as hell did. He manned RF with the speed and agility of a baby gazelle, prompting the Loggers to dub him “the Ocean” for how much ground he covered.

Also “happening” for the Reelers was Tyler Holzer, werking-like-the rent-was-due on the mound and going 4-5 with a homer.

Even on-base phenom, Jen X and power lefties Al and Tony couldn’t save their team from the deforestation.

But as morning turned to afternoon, the Loggers morphed back to the good sports we know and love, and joined Reel2Reel at the Gibson for the post-match beers. (awwwwwwww)

Epilogue: Our original hypothesis that someone had hacked in to the WSL website was debunked. The rule was just poorly written.

(Loggers 7 /Reel2Reel 15) 
Field #1: AT United vs. Crown Vic 86ers (Stryker)

You must be Buttah cuz you on a roll..

This one turned out to be a real carefree funfest of love.  AT was missing 5 starters and had trouble even getting ten to come down to play.  Sam did all he could to slow play the start of the game for them, but alas the mysterious tenth player didn’t get there in time and United would start with 9.  A real back and forth battle ensued with great plays from AT’s Nate Buchik going 4-4 with 4 runs and 2 ribbies.  The ladies of AT would not let the boys have all the fun this day and got some nice stats from Dana John going 3 for 4 with 3 RBI and Francesca Smith goin 2 for 4 with an RBI of her own.  That’s more hits and RBI’s then I have had all season!!

Both teams showed great poise by rallying in the ninth to gain the lead and, conversely, regaining the lead. AT United would come back from 3 down in the top of the ninth only to have Crown Victorious come back and win it in the latter half of the inning. A great game played by all and a stellar job behind the plate from Sam who only blew one call, a called strike on a 1-0 count. Love the new hats, Sam!! We just got some new ones too!! Maybe we can trade? Call me.

(AT United 12 / Crown Vic 86ers 13)

Field #2: 3 Kings vs. R Bar (Stache)


So such drama in WSL!  3 Kings & R Bar both rolled up their collective sleeves for a fight on Sunday.  This battle of the bombers did not disappoint.  The lead changed hands 8 times and the intensity remained high right to the last out. 2012 WSL HR Champ, Bobby Knapp, erased an early 1 run deficit with a 3-run, oppo homer (essentially a 5-iron, with a wicked slice that had me completely dumbfounded).After 3 more lead changes, the Kings held a slim, 1-run advantage through 4 innings.

After 2 more lead changes, the score was 11-9 Kings with R Bar up in the bottom of the 8th. Wouldn’t you know it, up comes Bubbs to drop a 3-run bomb and reclaim the lead with his 4th hit of the day. The 9th inning really deserves it’s own paragraph, so here goes. 3Ks got a hit and a walk to start off the inning, then Chris Valerio took back the lead on a 2 RBI single. Jose “Gunna” Martinez then added to it with his 2nd homer of the day, followed by a Billy triple and a Francesca homer down the left field line to round out the scoring for the Kings.

No lead was safe in this game and R Bar was certainly not phased by the 5 run advantage held by 3Ks. D-Lo showed off the pop with a solo bomb to left to put the Bums on the board. Before you could blink, the bases were loaded with 1 out and the top of the R Bar lineup was staring down a comeback. 3Ks ace reliever, Gunna, turned a wild double play to end the game and left the heart of the R Bar lineup standing in the on-deck circle. Never a dull moment!

Happy Birthday to both of the bomber broads in this game,
Francesca and Danielle! 

(3 Kings 17 / R Bar 13)
Field #1: Brooklyn Bowl vs. Pete’s Candy Store (Decker)

This is my “I love my new hat” face

Brooklyn Bowl won yet another low scoring game, besting Pete’s 9-3, in a game defined as much by the Bowlers infield defense as it was by Pete’s inability to hit a slow moving softball.

SS Mike Rollin’ Olin was the star of the game for the Bowlers, going 3-4 at the dish and making 9 putouts in the field without a single error.  In fact, Brooklyn Bowl made exactly 0 errors for the second straight game, limiting Pete’s to 3 runs on 6 hits.  Veteran Bowler Christian Ver Halen made a triumphant return from back surgery to go 2-3 with a double, a triple, and 2 RBIs, and newcomer Ryan Bort went 3-4 in his debut for the Tenpins.  The Bowlers are rolling and hope to keep up the momentum when they meet the mighty sluggers of Three Kings next weekend.
For Pete’s, their brightest highlight…literally…was the debut of their new team hats, designed by their coach, the one and only Blues Clues Sam.  However, the hats weren’t enough as it takes more than fancy new apparel to win a softball game.  Their defense was solid, with Pat Lane making several stellar catches in rightfield and Model Chad and Non-Model Max executing a beautiful 3-6-3 double play, but their offense was putrid, causing Coach Sam to note multiple times after the game that “Pete’s can’t hit”.  They look to bounce back to next Sunday when they take on Mayor Buttah and his surging 86ers.
(Brooklyn Bowl 9 / Pete’s 3)
Field #2: Turkey’s Nest vs. Soft Spot (Decker)

After a disappointing loss last week, Turkey’s Nest got back on track on Sunday, winning 16-9 against the Yeti’s.  Despite JDisco’s unfortunate base running miscue, the Nesters moved their record to 6-1, keeping pace with the villains from Spike Hill atop the WSL.

What base running miscue? I’ll let Disco elaborate:

Disco rips his third consecutive hit of the day–a beautiful rope into center field. He rounds first, takes a look at second and then casually turns back to first. Before coming back to stand on first base, he high fives the first base coach and says, “I’m raking today!” Then he feels a tag on his back, just a moment before
his foot lands safely back on the bag. He looks at the umpire, who shakes his head before punching him out. Disco hangs his head in shame and slinks back to the dugout.

And because I received nada fro the Yetis, I’d like to introduce you to one of my favorite Youtube videos:

You’re welcome.

(Turkey’s Nest 16 / Soft Spot 9)

Field #1: Gibson vs. Good Company (Stache)
Sometimes the gods are cruel. If you pair up a shorthanded Gibson squad with the hottest bats in the WSL, Good Co, you’ll get what appears to be a Boise State football score. Wally told us that pretty much everyone went 6 for 6 and hit a homer en route to scoring “a fuckton of runs.”  He also added that he “made a nifty catch in foul territory over the mound and into the crowd.  NBD.” The pink ladies led the offensive charge, with KT going deep and Stacy racking up 6 hits on the day.  Rob, Dom, Drew and Cesar also homered in the win.  The Cobra Co Dojo showed NO MERCY on the Gibs!  Sweep the leg Wally! Adrian from the Gibson noted that not only did Greg hit another homer, but that on the plus side, “nobody got hurt.”  Although the defense was somewhat rare, Jose and Greg made the highlight reel with a couple of nice leaping plays.  Don’t sweat it Gibbys, the hot Pinks are steamrolling everybody lately.  Time to lick your wounds and regroup for next week against the Loggers.
(Gibson 3 / Good Co 34)
Field #2: Clemerica vs. Black Betty (Stryker)


Aging Betty Team Wets Stryker’s Pants, Wins on WalkOff Bomb Over The Mighty Battleship!

A few Clemericans and I decided to stop by Duane Reade on our way to the park from our pre-game beers at Clems.  We found out they unfortunately do not sell canes.  Man, it would have looked great lined up with the Betty’s bats!

There was a big scare earlier in the day when the Battleship thought it might have to sail without the beloved Captain who was out in the Rockaways all week battling the pork pirates.  Seriously though, Breeze is out there on the boardwalk all week slinging some delicious Breezy’s BBQ.  Check that shit out!!  Anyyway, on to the game…

It was a really weird one all around.  I think we scored first, but there were several lead changes, ties, and Margaritas, so who knows. Markow and myself connected on a really nice DP that definitely penetrated Betty’s O.  Leia Petty “and the heartbreakers” had a really nice game at the plate, with what seemed like 17 hits.  “The Stryker Move” was in full effect and both he and the crowd loved every elongated minute of it.  Also, league’s first ever slow-mo time out was called by a Betty.   Mind games all around.

The Betty’s would go up by 2 in the bottom of the eighth, but it was clear by then that no lead was safe in this one.  The Battleship would get would get two on early in the top of the ninth with the powerful DMARXX due up.  She would end up with a GREAT at bat, drawing a walk to load the bases and eventually tie the game.  Walks in pressure situations impress me: she battled and won.   With runners in scoring position, it was my turn at the plate.  Breeze has been reminding me of my .125 batting average every chance he can get and as I was walking to the plate, he asked me if I think someone else should bat for me.  I got the message and complied, only to immediately flip flop and demand an at bat for redemption.  This would be the hit that would get me out of my slump!  I saw one i liked and blasted a screamer in between Belz and the Betty’s 2B.  KevBelz (who went 4 for 4 with a BB, scoring 5 runs and hit a lead off a lead-off triple in the 9th) made nice snag on Stryker’s liner at 1B with bases juiced and 1 out, much to Styker’s chagrin.  You can’t teach height, it was said.  

I was crushed.  The game was still tied going into the bottom of the ninth with the top of Betty’s order coming up.  That’s when Belz hit his aforementioned triple with Breeze playing a very obvious shallow right center.  The Commish was up next and I really made him regret making the Stryker Rule” with two incredibly long (i think i held them for almost a minute) pitches.  On the second pause, I held it just long enough to throw Holland off and forced a dribbler back to the mound.  After a not so clean field, I checked Belz at 3rd (who stayed glued to the bag) and then went to throw to first to get the easy out when someone from the “crowd”  (maybe) yelled “Throw it home!!”  My terrible instincts took over and I turned and whipped it into the backstop to keep everybody completely confused.  Misery and anger swept over me.  Camarra sealed the win with a bomb that’s still in the air and he and family immediately retreated to the closest Sizzler on Metropolitan Ave.

Also, Jake Backerman who umped the game owns a Clem’s hat now….. is it time for the heavy hitting swinging bachelor to move allegiances again? 
He’s already played on Turkey’s Nest almost a full 2 years and is probably thinking maybe pork is better than turkey?

(Clemerica 13 / Black Betty 14)

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