Joe Godsy Division
Parkview Scorpions 6 1 .857 115 48
McCarren Hotel Titans 6 1 .857 96 60
St. Anselm 3 3 .500 73 53
Turkey's Nest AT 2 5 .286 50 64
Parkview Suzies 5 1 .833 55 42
The Bedford Yetis 3 4 .429 62 99
Pete's Candy Store 2 5 .286 73 77
Turkey's Nest 0 7 .000 20 101
Joe Fashion Division
Gibson 6 1 .857 89 44
Roebling Sports Club 5 2 .714 111 70
Clems 3 3 .500 63 56
The Gutter 86ers 1 5 .167 36 89
Kilo Bravo 4 2 .667 55 37
Echo Bravo 4 2 .667 69 44
Loggers 2 5 .286 58 83
Carmine's Bombers 1 6 .143 44 102



Last Week's Results

Week 08 - May 22
Parkview Scorpions0 @ Gibson 0
Loggers0 @ The Bedford Yetis 0
Pete's Candy Store0 @ Echo Bravo 0
Turkey's Nest0 @ Kilo Bravo 0
Carmine's Bombers0 @ Parkview Suzies 0
Turkey's Nest AT0 @ Clems 0
McCarren Hotel Titans0 @ The Gutter 86ers 0
St. Anselm0 @ Roebling Sports Club 0


Thu, Apr 3, 2014

And we’re baaaaaack! Did you miss us? Well, we’ve missed the crap out of you! We are fired up for another great season and ready to get back in the routine of being continuously yelled at by our bosses to get back to work…We mean, back in the routine of posting screwball write-ups, deranged graphics, and fabricated nonsense when content “forgets our address”. Our brains have been on a strict whit and humor fast in the offseason to provide you with the very best website magic this year. So buckle up softballers, it’s about to get CRAZY.

If you failed to notice our last video, we have welcomed several new writers to the team. Mike McNelis (seriously does this guy do anything but WSL stuff), Daniel Decker, and the beloved Stryker, but they are all on probation until they receive their first death threat. Speaking of death threats, make sure you attend the WSL Opening Day Party this Saturday at RBar. You can find the party deets HERE.

Be there…OR ELSE!

And here’s to more unintentional feather ruffling this year. Cheers!

11 AM

Field 1: Spike Hill vs. RBar (‘Stache)

DUN DUN DUN…the CONSPIRACY SERIES kicks off the season for the defending champs, Spike Hill, and the bums from the R Bar.  I did my best to kick up the pre-game banter in a group chat with team managers, O’Malley and Rich.  To my complete annoyance, all they could do is say how much they love each other and how exciting & fun their games are.  Seriously, it got really uncomfortable for a minute there.  Once they got done cleaning up, of course they had to start in about the “nonsensical” WSL division selections.

“I personally would love if you played up the fact that the two best regular season teams (from 2013) are now in the same division.  Makes complete sense to me.” – O’Malley

From what I could understand (through all the expletives and frothing at the mouth), these 2 powerhouses take umbrage with the fact that they have to share a division and play each other twice this season.  Wait, which is it guys?  Do you love each other or hate each other?  Whichever it is, it sounds like this may be an emotional slugfest to kick of the season on Field 1!  After all, this is/was the best that the WSL has/had to 2013.

“Every time we play Spike Hill crazy stuff happens.  All three games have been separated by a total of 4 runs.  Each game has been tied going into the ninth.”  – Rich

In other news, R Bar will be unveiling new jerseys (and new players?) on Sunday.  Considering how much blue is normally on their sideline, it must have cost a fortune to outfit their team.  I want to see that invoice!  As for Spike Hill, O’Malley kept it tight-lipped about the 2014 version of his squad.  Maybe they will surprise us all with a new look?  The pink party shirts they debuted in the playoffs were unexpected and I’m wondering if maybe Mo finally convinced them to play in sports bras?

Field 2: Reel 2 Reel vs. Crown Victoria (Shortz)

Now what am I supposed to wear to the Kick off Party?

Before I commence this preview, I’d like to have a moment of silence to mourn the duck jokes and images we will no longer be posting now that duckduck has switched back to their rightful Reel2Reel namesake (wistfully burns duck costumes).

Now back to the preview. The Reelers kick the season off on field 2 at 11am (always 11am), against the sleeper hits of last season, Second Chance, Crown Victoria (wistfully burns chance-related jokes).

Thanks to Holland’s “crafty” scheduling, both teams have landed in what many are calling “The Group of Death”.

But don’t assume the Reelers will enter this game with a chip on their shoulders after losing in their last meet up with the team formerly know as Second Chance. Newly elected Coach Hogan has masterfully signed some new personnel in the offseason, making for a possible new and improved Reeler organization.

As for the…Vicis? (Sure, why not), their acquisitions are fewer, including a new shortstop that Mayor Al “Eleven” Buttah has yet to see play. You little gambler, you.

They’ve also managed to hold on to their rookies, including sensational 3rd base(wo)man Mallory.V.P. and their big bomber, who for legal reasons we’ll not only change his name but will also keep changing his made up name throughout the season. This week we shall dub thee, Mike Who?

If this defensively solid team ended up using those Batting Cages Groupon I offered them last season, it’ll make for a fierce match up.


Field 1: AT United vs. 3 Kings (‘Stache)

Denis officially Kinged during spring training

Drunks and degenerates of the WSL take heed!  The Fashion South Division kicks off with 2 of last year’s biggest surprise teams, Three Kings Tattoo vs (the newly monikered) AT United.  The “tattooed terrors” tallied 8 more wins in 2013 than their disappointing 2012 campaign, while leading the league in home runs for most of the season (although I can’t recall if the final total held up).  The former All Stars from AT beat up on their 2013 North Division opponents throughout most of the season and cemented themselves as a championship contender, entering the 2013 playoffs as the #3 seed.  Both teams eventually met their fate in the Elite 8 round of the WSL Playoff Bracket and lost to the eventual finals opponents, Spike Hill and Black Betty.  This matchup unfortunately never saw the light of day last season, so expect some fireworks as these 2 fight for divisional bragging rights in week 1!

Both managers went fishing in the waters surrounding the sinking S.S. duckduck and commandeered some fresh legs to bolster their rosters.  AT loudmouth, Gerald “Maybe it’s Maybeline” Marquez claims, “We have the fastest guy in the league patrolling the outfield now.  Hit the ball as far as you like, there are no fences.”  Of course we know he’s talking about the speedy Lauck, who agreed to terms on a free agent deal that will net him his weight in tequila shots from the Drunk Tank (which 3Ks hope he takes in a lump sum before game time).  The Kings scooped up bad boy former Reeler, Denis, to take over the pitching duties from now full-time, family man, Matty No Times.  Looking forward to that steely-eyed battle between former teammates!

What’s it going to be?  The Drunk Tank?  The Boom Box?  Age?  Beauty?  Kicks?  Punches?  Rest assured that trash will be talked and bombs will be dropped.  I predict a good time and an exciting game.  Can’t wait to hear all the new mega-phone zings that Vinny will be debuting from the AT sideline.  Wait…I can’t believe I actually just wrote that.

Field 2: Loggers vs. Turkey’s Teachers (Decker)

Hot for Teachers!

In a clash of perennial underachievers, the Brooklyn Loggers meet the Turkey’s Teachers on field 2 at 1:00 PM.  The Loggers practiced hard in the offseason and will be prepared for whatever is thrown at them (which is hopefully a softball) on Sunday.  Although they lost Jen 10 to the Pinks and Dan Cho to fatherhood, Logger legends Brenner and Tommy Paterak have tinkered and retooled, and their lineup is as strong as ever.  The Lumberjacks are looking up in 2014.

The Teacher’s finished 2013 with a flourish and hope to build off that momentum in their week 1 match-up against a Loggers team they beat twice last season.  Haz spent the off season developing a “lesson” plan and hope this newfound “knowledge” will catapult his fowl “faculty” to the top of the Joe Fashion South Division (educational puns 4-eva). Swing on down to field 2 on Sunday to find out if Brains can beat Brawn on the softball field.


Field 1: Black Betty vs. Good Company (Decker)

A glimpse into Camarra’s new team building exercises

Joe Fashion North Division powerhouses Black Betty and Good Co. square off at 3:00 PM on field 1 in what is sure to be a thrilling game.  Black Betty is hungry after their heartbreaking loss to Spike Hill in last season’s championship game.  But fret not, because they are loaded to the gills with the types of talented softballers that have placed them in the league championship game for each of the last eight years.  Their lineup is potent, their defense inviolable and they are chomping at the bit to get back on the field to prove that they are still the class of the Williamsburg Softball League.

Good Co., however, will not roll over so easily to their intra-divisional rivals in Black.  The Pinks are all tuned up for 2014, with many of their ranks pounding it out on the blacktop for the last six weeks, and E.J. playing ball all winter in the Costa Rican leagues.  They’ve also added perennial all-star Jen 10 to further solidify their dynamic lineup.  Will she be enough to give the Pinks the edge over the mighty Blacks?  Tune in on Sunday to find out.

Field 2: Soft Spot vs. Pete’s Candy Store (Stryker)

Sooooo you’re saying Homeruns are good?

We have a great matchup in the 3pm slot this week as a large soft thing tries to see how much Candy they can steal from Pete’s.  We’ll see if the Yettis can catch the The Candy Shoppers with their beer goggles on as they look to spread Pete’s D and do some stiff scoring.  Pete’s will play hard to get for as long as they can and perhaps stick it to the Yetti’s in the end.  All in all, this looks to be a great game on paper with butt loads of early spring sexual frustration on both parts.  Chubs all around!

p.s. – I saw Coach Sam this weekend and he had these choice words to say to the Yettis; “I’ll take you to the candy shop, I’ll let you lick the lollypop. Go ‘head Yettis don’t you stopKeep going ’til you hit the spot-” Sorry, got Sam confused with Fiddy again, a frequent occurrence.


Field 1: Turkey’s Nest vs. Brooklyn Bowl (Shortz)

With many original Arena Rock veterans in varying levels of retirement, Manager Pete has taken up the daunting task of securing a reported 5-6 new Bowlers. Identities unknown, but you have to wake up pretty early in the morning to pull the wool over Shortzy’s eyes. And since I’m allergic to wool, I’ve narrowed it down to two obvious possibilities.

The gang from Sin City

Or The Avengers

The biggest (fine, only) news on the Nest-front is the acquisition of Mitch “Sparkles”. Hoping to make it in to The Boys of Summer’s inner circle, it’s rumored he’s been through hazing rituals such as paddling, head shaving and seven minutes in heaven with last season’s Hillian defector, Jake. But don’t sweat it Mitchy, all members of The Boys of Summer went through similar hazing, including their Queen Bee.

With both teams recovering from early playoff exits last season, methinks they’ll be hankering more than others to just to get on the field and dust off those offseason cobwebs.

Field 2: Gibson vs. Clemerica (Stryker)


Ahhhh Gibson how we feel for you.  We want you to get a win really we do….. just not this week.  Rumor has it the Gibson has been doing mandatory drug testing in the off season (making sure all of their players ARE doing steroids).  Maybe 2014 will be the year of The Gibson?  Not if Captain Breeze and the rest of the Battleship crew have anything to say about it!  Things have been busy for Clems in the offseason making several acquisitions from the South Shore Long Island Penal (giggle) League as well as signing a contract with Starter for some fresh new gear.  The Battleship has their eyes set on the horizon and look to prove that the world is not flat by sailing around the WSL to 12 wins and a championSHIP this season.  Markow has also personally guaranteed 25 homeruns this year.

See you out there. Hugs for everyone!


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