Joe Godsy Division
Parkview Scorpions 6 1 .857 115 48
McCarren Hotel Titans 6 1 .857 96 60
St. Anselm 3 3 .500 73 53
Turkey's Nest AT 2 5 .286 50 64
Parkview Suzies 5 1 .833 55 42
The Bedford Yetis 3 4 .429 62 99
Pete's Candy Store 2 5 .286 73 77
Turkey's Nest 0 7 .000 20 101
Joe Fashion Division
Gibson 6 1 .857 89 44
Roebling Sports Club 5 2 .714 111 70
Clems 3 3 .500 63 56
The Gutter 86ers 1 5 .167 36 89
Kilo Bravo 4 2 .667 55 37
Echo Bravo 4 2 .667 69 44
Loggers 2 5 .286 58 83
Carmine's Bombers 1 6 .143 44 102



Last Week's Results

Week 08 - May 22
Parkview Scorpions0 @ Gibson 0
Loggers0 @ The Bedford Yetis 0
Pete's Candy Store0 @ Echo Bravo 0
Turkey's Nest0 @ Kilo Bravo 0
Carmine's Bombers0 @ Parkview Suzies 0
Turkey's Nest AT0 @ Clems 0
McCarren Hotel Titans0 @ The Gutter 86ers 0
St. Anselm0 @ Roebling Sports Club 0

Elite 8- Recap

Tue, Sep 17, 2013

Clearly had his bracket right

It was a beautiful day in the park on Sunday, but it was the last one for another 4 teams this week as the battle of the WSL playoffs continues. Goodbye Elite 8! Some surprising runaway games were played, while other nail biters had the surging fans (and Russell Brand) wildly cheering (or at least nonchalantly taking note). Who were you rooting for?  Let’s see how many brackets were ruined this week!





Field #1: duckduck vs. Pete’s Candy Store (Shortz)

My candy now, Bitches.

From the 1st inning on, it seemed to be a lop-sided match between the Ducks and the fiery Candyfolk. The Ducks got the party started right of the bat (PUNS!) with our first 5 batters on base. Many hits broke through the left-side infield wall, giving Candyman Ian the workout of his life. Pete’s mounted a pseudo-rally mid-game, but Lauck bailed us out with a rally-ending diving catch, as did Coach Jake later on, lunging to snag a dropping liner and doubling off the runner at 2B. Ain’t Misbehavin (aka Kirby) never showed, nor did Coach Rio. They were also short JJ, cutting down Double Trouble to the Uni-Bomber. (No?) Solo-Bomber. (No?) Bearded Bomber. (No?) Fine, the Awesomely Awesome Jake.

From our bench, Andrew “Sir Hits-A-Lot” Millard ended his 9-9 streak by going 5-6 (which is still pretty stellar) and Hogan went 4-6 with a homer (equally stellar). Minus a couple of hiccups, the Ducks were on-point in the field, with shout outs to all positions including veteran Reeler, Mark Halling, who pitched a beauty and snagged a couple hot shots up the middle. Late in the game, the Awesomely Awesome Jake went deep, but his would-be homer was downgraded to a triple thanks to some crafty cannons in the field, and Candyman Ian went deep to right for a 2-run homer in the bottom of the 9th. As the ground transitioned from grass (if you can call it that) to concrete, “Sir Hits-A-Lot” wiped out as I screamed, “NOT THE FACE!”. Handsomeness intact, he reminded us all what an outstanding player he is…at 1st base.

A quick note to Pete’s; we are fully aware that your severely depleted squad made it a bit of a hollow victory for us. I know every team in the winning slot says that, but in this case I mean it. We know if would’ve been way closer with your full squad. It was hard for us post-match, but with a heavy heart, duckduck still managed to “make it Suntory time” with a buttload of beers.

(duckduck 17 / Pete’s 9)

Field #2: AT vs. Black Betty (GBlack)

Don’t walk away mad when you can walk away drunk instead

What a high intensity classic game this was. I will fight back the tears and try to give an accurate depiction of what happened in this game, but to do that and keep my “integrity” as an “unbiased writer”, I must get this out of my system first…Fucking Shit Motherfucking Bullshit Fuck…Cock…Balls…

Thank you. Now on to the game.

After an uneventful 1st inning for both teams, things picked up and never let up. Black Betty would strike first, scoring 3 runs in the 2nd and 3rd innings. WSL living legend, JB$ held the AT offense scoreless, retiring 10 straight batters with the help of great outfield catches by Papa Mike Camarra and “Big Ben” White. The Drunk Tank Drinkers would bat around and explode for 6 runs in the bottom of the 4th, including a 3-run homer from Nasty Nate Buchik and followed by another 3-run HR to right from “The Turkish Tornado” Ersin Duran. With AT spirits running high and the reigning champs on the ropes, the Betty converged into their Black Circle in between innings and smacked each other around to realize they have been in tougher predicaments before. The Allstars would add one more run to their lead, but the Black relied on their experience and tied it up 7-7 going into the top of the 8th. Here’s where that old patent Black Betty “Coop Magic” came into play. One of the longest tenured Black Betty members, Jen Cooper, advanced to scoring position on an error and scored on the “at bat” of another O.B. Chris ‘CI” Isenberg. With the Green and Gold down to their last out in the bottom of the 9th, Andrew “Kill-a-man” Killian would make a driving catch in LF on a would-be “bloop” single to end the game and send AT packing.

There…..I can go back to my cursing room now.

( Black Betty 8 / AT Allstars 7 )


Field #1: 3Kings vs. Spike Hill (Shortz)

Celebrations included Matt Silverman buying ALL THE BUD LIGHT LIME

 “Execution is key in the playoffs and Spike Hill executed much better than we did.”
~Sir Stash

Even with a handful of Spike Hill scouting reports, it was not enough for Stash and the gang to thwart Spike Hill’s advances.

The eventual outcome was not so certain at the game’s start, when Thomas “The Beast” Santoro hit a 2-run blast in the first inning to put the Kings on the board. But, Spike Hill eventually got up 8-4…only for the Kings to close the gap 8-7. Royal contributors included Francesca Romano with some hits and a couple RBIs and Johnny “Franchise” Franzese with 3 extra base hits, including a 2 run homer.

Matty No Times’ mastery on the mound rendered a few of Spike Hill’s hitters useless, but some were able to not completely embarrass Coach O’Malley. Homers were hit by Kane and Alex to put the Mighty Spike Hillians up 12-8, and I’d be amiss if I didn’t mention that O’Malley went 3 for 3 with a walk, contributing to his team’s awesome sauce. I repeat, O’MALLEY WENT 3 FOR 3 WITH A WALK! O’MALLEY CONTRIBUTED TO HIS TEAMS AWESOME SAUCE.

Giving O’Malley the conch, “Caps are off to Three Kings – that’s a gutty, strong team with a bunch of great guys and great players.  I won’t lie – this matchup scared the shit out of me, and I’m glad we were able to outlast them.  If Holland’s listening, we’d be happy if you kept them in the South.”

(Spike Hill 12 / 3 Kings 8)

Field #2: RBar vs. Good Co. (GBlack)

Who needs Andy Mac when you have hilarious former drug/sex addicted British comedy actor Russell Brand rooting for you? Probably knowing jack shit about softball, he still screamed ‘Go Pinks!’. But you know who does know a little about softball? Cap’n “Never mention my name on this ridiculous and sometimes embarrassing website” Calves, that’s who.

Sure, Good Co. picked up 2 quick runs in the 1st inning on hits from Wally, Stacy and Sam T. But those early clutch plays were over shadowed by Cap’n Calves’ monster 3-run homer, which momentarily left the stratosphere before interrupting the game on Field #1. While pitching an absolute gem of a game, Cesar Calves decided that he’d raise the 5 runs scored by his team in the third, with a RBI double in the in the 5th.

The Bums’ found some eye black to block his brilliance and mounted the first of 2 mini-comebacks to close the gap to 12-6. But Calves would have none of it and struck again with a 3-run homer to left center to extend the lead to 15-6. The Bums battled back to make it 15-9 going into the bottom of the ninth, where they scored one right away and loaded the bases with nobody out. Two sac flies later they to cut the lead to 3.  Just as The Bar with the R got the tying run to the plate, they sent a laser-guided come backer to Calves, who just smiled and said ‘Please!’ as he made a diving catch off the mound to make the game ending snag. It’s really too bad he will be retiring after this year, right Ces?

Good Co. stuns RBar and the stage to once again meet Black Betty in the Semis.

( Good Company 15 / RBar 12 )

Stay tuned for more details about this Sundays Semi-Finals, All-Star Game, Championship, AND the best goddamn party of the year afterwards!


The New Additions




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