Joe Godsy Division
Parkview Scorpions 6 1 .857 115 48
McCarren Hotel Titans 6 1 .857 96 60
St. Anselm 3 3 .500 73 53
Turkey's Nest AT 2 5 .286 50 64
Parkview Suzies 5 1 .833 55 42
The Bedford Yetis 3 4 .429 62 99
Pete's Candy Store 2 5 .286 73 77
Turkey's Nest 0 7 .000 20 101
Joe Fashion Division
Gibson 6 1 .857 89 44
Roebling Sports Club 5 2 .714 111 70
Clems 3 3 .500 63 56
The Gutter 86ers 1 5 .167 36 89
Kilo Bravo 4 2 .667 55 37
Echo Bravo 4 2 .667 69 44
Loggers 2 5 .286 58 83
Carmine's Bombers 1 6 .143 44 102


Week 08 - May 22
11:00 Parkview Scorpions @ Gibson 1
Loggers @ The Bedford Yetis 2
1:00 Pete's Candy Store @ Echo Bravo 1
Turkey's Nest @ Kilo Bravo 2
3:00 Carmine's Bombers @ Parkview Suzies 1
Turkey's Nest AT @ Clems 2
5:00 McCarren Hotel Titans @ The Gutter 86ers 1
St. Anselm @ Roebling Sports Club 2

Last Week's Results

Week 07 - May 15
Pete's Candy Store14 @ Turkey's Nest AT 11
Echo Bravo10 @ Roebling Sports Club 5
Loggers11 @ The Gutter 86ers 6
Carmine's Bombers5 @ Clems 12
Parkview Suzies7 @ McCarren Hotel Titans 17
The Bedford Yetis2 @ Parkview Scorpions 26
Kilo Bravo8 @ Gibson 9
Turkey's Nest0 @ St. Anselm 11

Make Up Week- Recap

Tue, Aug 27, 2013

Done! Over! Kaput! The 2013 Regular Season, has come to a end. Our 5-month long incredible showing of softball athleticism is no more. What revelations do we know now that we didn’t know in April? Well, 3 Kings refuses to be peons any longer, Clem’s plays way better as the United Nation of Clemerica, the AT rebuilding process is for real, and do not fuck with Second Chance in August.  Also learned was that Turkey’s Teacher follows up an A+ season with a D- one, and perhaps Jake should’ve stayed on Spike Hill. So let’s mop up the make up games from Sunday and get to the playoffs already.


Field #1: Black Betty vs. 3 Kings (Shortz)

Twerk it, Stache

Hey 3 Kings, I went ahead and updated your team’s rap sheet:

1987: Three Kings was convicted of second-degree assault for an attempted robbery.

1994: 3 Kings’ coach was shot in the crotch following an argument with another teammate.

1998: 3 Kings pled guilty to assault on a Tazmanian Devil mascot.

2013: Knocked Black Betty out in the last game of the regular season in the first 3 Kings victory over Black Betty…ever.

With Betty’s dreams of a 3-peat being dashed, there is most definitely a new Boombox in town.

The win should be attributed to 3Ks working the butts off, whatever voodoo magic Stash McNelis inflicted on the Holland’s stolen lock of hair, and this impassioned speech by Nick Tomeo (edited down due to brevity and language):

“Since I started playing on this team many moons ago, there’s been one thing I’ve wanted to do…beat this fucking Black Betty team!  What do you say we go out there and play this game like it’s the last fucking game we’ll ever play! To be the best, you have to beat the best!  Lets shock the league!”

Betty only managed 1 run every other inning for the first half of the game yet managed to keep 3 Kings to only a few runs, gaining a slim lead of 4-3 after Teacher Dave hit a bomb to left to get them with-in one run. Mike Camarra joined in on the homerun fun in the 7th and it was looking as though Betty was going to blow this shit up. But, 3 Kings answer right back; leadoff man Ken Kocses got a base hit, Adam Smilowitz followed with another, then Stash McNelis sent an RBI single into RF to tie the score and finally Tommy Santoro unleashed an epic 3 run blast to put the Kings up 7-4. And they weren’t even finished. Johnny Franzese led off the 8th with a solo job. 3 Kings was working like the rent was due. But Camara gave them one last scare with a second homer in the top of the 9th, (luckily for the royal court, it was a solo shot…and it didn’t tie the game).

And just like that, Black Betty falls to the 6th seed. I did suggest not to overthink it on Sunday, but how much Reba did y’all watch?

(3Kings 8 / Black Betty 5)

Field#2: 2nd Chance @ Turkey’s Nest (Shortz)

The noise was most definitely “broughten” by the Chancers as this Cinderella story unfolds before our eyes. Just 7 days shy of her nuptials, Kathryn accessorized her shower strike by avoiding all plays at the plate (smart girl). But her teammates had her back both in the field and at the plate. Mike Marra had the game winning RBI and clutch defense at 2B, Mallory Valuable Player (MVP) flashed the leather at Shortstop, Sgt. Andre went 2-4 with 4 or 5 RBI’s (a triple with bases loaded and 2 outs and a 1 or 2 run double with 2 outs) and astonishingly, Jeff didn’t slide or dive once the entire game.

Even a thousand trust falls couldn’t prepare the Nesters enough for this not-new, yet improved squad, as their loss (along with duckduck’s loss to the Mighty Spike Hillians) has enabled the 86ers to leap-frog over the ducks for the 13th seed. The Nesters declined to comment on the game and have held themselves up in the shed behind Turkey’s Nest until they face Good Company in the 1st round of the playoffs.

(2nd Chance 8 / Turkey’s Nest 7)  


Field #1: duckduck vs. Spike Hill (Shortz)

Although not quite the Battle of Shiloh this time, it was still a heartbreaking loss for the Ducks. Spike Hill was boringly awesome, as they were up 11 to 1 most of the game. Duckduck got a couple runs (Denis and guest star Mike Camarra both went 3-4), followed by a homer by Hogan to pull within 4 in the 8th. In the same inning, Duck Coach Jake made an over-the-shoulder-catch on a fly ball hit by “Carole Bobby” whilst drinking a PBR and only spilling a few sips worth. On the Spike Hill bench, Matt and Leo were “by the book” at their respective positions at 1B and Left Field. The “Hillsladies” however, had a more risqué attitude. Morgan made a bunch of nice plays while wearing almost no clothes while Linda offered to take off her shirt during her at bat if someone hit a triple. Mitch, Alex and O’Malley all hit homers, but none dared stop at third (FYI- they might be retarded).

More excitingly, I heard that a Hipster Tournament threatened to cancel the game, insisting they had permits to our field.

Two points immediately come to mind:

One- What events occur during a hipster tournament?

Two- What was the look on the parks department person’s face when asked, “Can I get a permit for a Hipster Tournament”?

I have no answers and thousands of assumptions, but what we do know is a crew of seemingly nonathletic people took the bench and started warming up on the field. While the Commish dealt with that business, Kelly, Alex, Bobby and Leo started having drag-style races across the infield with Morgan playing the role of flag girl in her bikini. I guess winning by only 6 runs is Spike Hill’s equivalent of “throwing the game”. Duckduck is just thanking their lucky stars for the rest of the Sunday upsets.

(Spike Hill 11 / duckduck 6)

Field #2: AT Allstars vs. Turkey’s Nest (GBlack)

When you beat AT, you raid the drunk tanks!

With their seed and opponent for the playoffs already locked in, AT was looking to further improve their best season in franchise history. But, they were met by a very cranky and pissed off Turkey’s team who had just lost a close game in the earlier slot.  Special guest ump Commish Holland oversaw this contest, which had AT jumping all over The Disco-less Nest to a 7-2 lead by the 3rd inning. To even further ruffle their feathers, TN lost manager-for-the-day Jake, to a re-aggravated hamstring injury. Now only playing with 9, the veteran Nesters decide to dance the ol’ chip away vs. the Allstars. A few runs at a time combined with missed opportunities by AT had TN up 1-run entering the final frame. The Drunk Tank Drinkers would threaten when DNasty got on with no outs, but the Turks held on for the valiant victory and split their double header day. AT finishes the season 13-5 and own the league’s 2nd best defense. As for Turkey’s Nest (8-10), head into the tournament with a win and a few more positive answers about their squad.

(Turkey’s Nest 10 / AT AllStars 9 )


Field #1: Clemerica vs. Spike Hill (Stryker)

SS & 2B should share a special bond that involves saliva

As Spike Hill came off the field after their first game of the day, they discovered the Battleship had dropped anchor right behind their bench. A tense moment passed before a gentlemanly exchange between O’Malley and Breeze broke the ice.  O’Malley asked if we wanted him to move to the other side, instead Breeze offered beers to the Hillians, a truce was reached and the shady tree was shared and the (first ever?) shared bench ensued. O’Malley even let Breeze hang his flags!!  A truly magical tender moment in WSL history.

…and then the game started.

I would like to take a moment to apologize to MOST of the Spike Hill team (but not your pitcher Kane Daddy, or you O’Malley) I was in rare form yesterday.

Clem’s got word early that Stink Hill was going to tank the game on purpose for a better playoff matchup or something lame like that. Clemerica refused to let O’Malley get what he wanted and decided to tank the tank attempt.  And the battle of tank vs. battleship ensued.  Stryker started the game with 4 or 5 straight walks and just couldn’t seem to find the plate?  I guess SH was tired because they weren’t swinging at anything.  Stryker settled down, found his zone, and started walking people on purpose? SH forgot about O’Malley’s mission and got a couple hits.  SH was up by 4 in the early innings when Carlos got things started for Clem’s and hit a homer. A couple more came in and Clem’s came back but decided to stay one run behind.

…We move on to the later innings.

SH went up by who cares how many, Clem’s was out of beer and angry at SH for accepting the free beers offered earlier in the day. Stryker pulled out all the stops and was throwing some really stinky cheese. Pauses were in full effect; side step, side step pause, between the legs, glove hand pitch, no looks, behind the back. You name it he attempted to throw it.  He was also getting it done at the plate blasting a triple that caused a momentary case of Tourettes syndrome from SH’s pitcher.  Stryker ran so fast to third he decided to take a rest on the next Clemerican hit and stay on third and then skipped his way home as Wiggins crushed a homer.  Femerican Lea masterminded some late game strategy when she called for a pitching switch mid-inning and Stryker and Lea switched positions. The strategy was a huge success as Clem’s still stayed behind on the scoreboard. These mind games continued into the 9th when Lea really got the pause pitch going and then the unbelievable happened as she called for the switch with Stryker mid pause pitch, Stryker got into mid pause position held it until Lea was back at third, and then released a magical pitch for a strike that SH popped up to 3rd in foul territory where she made an insane catch!!! Also almost turned a double play as Stryker went to third to cover and almost caught the SH base runner sleeping…almost. Still the best play I have ever seen in my career. The Battleship sunk SH’s tank and was victorious in the battle of the better loser. -Stryker

(Spike Hill 17 / Clemerica 6)


Wondering what you missed by skipping the 2013 CHOW DOWN TO THE PLAYOFFS?

Well, for one thing, you missed our very own GBlack go head-to-head with Soft Spot’s “Tasty Wiener” in the Soft Spot hot dog chow.
We’ll spare you the entire 10 minute competition since it would take 9 years to upload to YouTube, and also because it’s gross.
But please, enjoy the highlights.

That about wraps it up. Stay tuned for more antics!


The New Additions



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