Standings

Joe Godsy Division
NORTH W L PCT RF RA
Parkview Scorpions 17 4 .810 300 162
St. Anselm 11 9 .550 204 200
Clems 8 10 .444 182 178
Pete's Candy Store 6 12 .333 164 205
 
SOUTH W L PCT RF RA
Roebling Sports Club 14 5 .737 225 162
Loggers 12 7 .632 247 185
Gibson 6 12 .333 172 236
AT All-Stars 6 12 .333 154 247
 
Joe Fashion Division
NORTH W L PCT RF RA
Echo Bravo 12 8 .600 246 173
The Gutter 86ers 9 9 .500 198 210
Turkey's Nest 5 13 .278 174 264
Carmine's Bombers 0 18 .000 114 318
 
SOUTH W L PCT RF RA
Parkview Panthers 17 4 .810 289 196
Kilo Bravo 10 9 .526 261 229
Turkey's Nest Titans 9 9 .500 217 213
The Bedford Yetis 9 10 .474 231 200

Schedule

Championship Sunday - Sep 26
11:00 St. Anselm @ Parkview Scorpions 1
Echo Bravo @ Parkview Panthers 2
3:00 Parkview Scorpions @ Parkview Panthers 2

Last Week's Results

Championship Sunday - Sep 26
St. Anselm4 @ Parkview Scorpions 9
Echo Bravo7 @ Parkview Panthers 9
Parkview Scorpions10 @ Parkview Panthers 5

Week 6- Preview

Fri, May 10, 2013

Kid’s taken care of. Let’s play some ball!

Oh mothers…our sweet, adorable, altruistic mothers. How many times have you bandaged up our scraped knees and elbows after little league games? How many occasions have you encouraged us to keep playing no matter how bad we are? How do we repay you for all the love and support you have shown us since the day you brought us into this world? I think we schedule softball on Mother’s Day and drag you to the field in your Sunday best to watch us get dirty and once again attempt to make you proud. We love you Moms!!! This Softball Sunday is for you!
On to the games!

11AM
Field #1: Brooklyn Bowl vs. Clemerica (GBlack)

Shaken, not stirred

These two teams have adjusted fairly well to the North. They have .500 records and both have displayed they can compete in the their new divisional home. Having finally sweated out all the toxins ingested on Cinco De Mayo by shaking maracas to a furious beat, Bowler Joe Godsy will try to help guide his team to their first back-to-back wins of the season. Clemerica looks to do the opposite by trying to not lose two games in row. Clemerica has played much better as a unit in recent years, and it showed last week when they almost pulled off their second comeback win of the season. Breezy runs a tight Battleship with Craig’s veteran leadership in the outfield, while Markow mans the deck at short. The BK Bowlers did show some nasty pop in their bats last week scoring Week 5’s highest run count of 28. Will Clemerica be radioing “MAYDAY MAYDAY?” Hit the fields early to find out!

Field #2: Pete’s vs. R Bar (Shortz)

Ah, Fiddlesticks, YOU get the bases from the Nest

Sunday opens with great offense vs. great defense on field 2. Neither team is very fond of the 11am slot, (is anybody really?) so I wonder if their grumpy moods will be as matchy-matchy as both their current records of 3 and 1. Rbar will have a depleted squad this week because they actually LOVE their mothers, which means only 62 of their lefties will be suiting up for battle. Whereas, the Candyfolk heathens will be down a Kirby, but up a Levine. And some other team members will show up or they won’t (god, I’m bored). Oh and a shout is in order for Adam’s almost newly opened deli (gratuitous Walter’s Deli plug) opening on Monday, May 13th. I want to go to there.

1PM
Field #1: Turkey’s Teachers vs. Black Betty (Shortz)

F*$)(* U@#*(%HW!!!!!

Ladies and gentlemen… my first Black Betty write-up of the season! With a couple of wins under their belts, the BFFs from New Mexico are finally steering the Bettys’ in a more victorious direction. Rivaling Nester Zac Whinnem for the title of “nicest guy in the league”, Kevin Belz will no doubt go 500-4 and be super cordial to everyone in his path. His ladylove, Chelsey will be given a jar to throw a dollar into every time she fucking cusses. At least one call will be blown, prompting Holland to become emotionally concerned as said ump sips his big bud and adds the altercation to the list of fucks he doesn’t give. Meanwhile, the Teachers are in relegation zone with their string of 3 consecutive losses. Losing this week might mean summer school to up those softball skills. If it comes to that, I hope it includes WonderMutt and that dude who takes the bathroom pass all summer.

Field #2: 2nd Chance vs. AT AllStars (GBlack)

“You breakin’ my heart!!!!”

Forget about Mother’s Day for this game…it will be father vs. son when these two teams square off at 1 pm. 86er Miles will try to impress Papa Vinny tomorrow by beating his old man into the ground, bullhorn and all. Ohhhhh– speaking of that bullhorn, you would think that dear old dad would not try to embarrass his own son, right? Well, during 2nd Chance’s losing streak last year, I was present when Papa Vinny shouted in an Italian accent, “You breakin’ my heart, my sonny boy…you breakin’ my heart!”. The Saloons offense, tied for 3rd worst in the league, is in need of some serious mother love. Kat and Mia will be strutting their future motherly instincts and pretty sweet soft-balling skills for the 86er’s, who are looking for their first win since Week 3. AT has started hot and would like to keep the Drunk Tank firing on all beer cans. Their top of the lineup, which includes Smiles Rosegrady, Nasty Nate Buchik and Justin “The Stick” Moench is a three-headed, run-producing monster. They will try remain undefeated and keep up with North Kingpins, Spike Hill. 

3PM
Field #1: Turkey’s Nest vs. Spike Hill (Shortz)

They’re break dance fighting

I foresee no awkwardness whatsoever when Spike Hill faces off against Turkey’s Nest and defected Spike Hill member, Jake Backerman. But fear not (like anyone did), the mighty Spike Hillians are more than fine with their roster this week. As the old saying goes, “When The Lord Closes A Craigslist Window, He Opens A Reeler Door.”

It’s silly to predict actual stats and final scores for this game, so instead I offer you three endings to this game. A Choose Your Own Adventure, if you will.

1) Every member of Spike Hill hits at least one homerun, and continue to terrorize the rest of the league. The Nesters (and league) retaliate by throwing half-eaten candies at them for making all our teams look sucky.
2) Disco and The Boys of Summer put on a fielding display of behind-the-back catches, disarming the Spike Hillians’ mighty bats. O’Malley will, in turn, protest the game as it violates the rule #43986049 that prohibits showboating in the outfield.
3) The Scooby-Doo Ending: Jake and O’Malley argue throughout the game until it reaches a fever pitch and they are forced to settle it via dance battle where O’Malley’s mask accidentally falls off, revealing his secret identity.

Field #2: Good Co vs. 3 Kings (GBlack)

OOPS

What is the Stash to do? They have a potent offense, they crowned The Teachers for 30 runs and 42 hits in less than 9 innings on Week 3. Their solid defense is 7th best in the league, allowing a svelte 10 runs per. But their record stands a 1-3, Why Stash why? Maybe he should fly the entire 3K team his Big Mommas House back in the Motor city for some home-cooking and some maternal nurturing. It could not hurt. By the way, rumor has it Stash is a spitting image of his mom, awwwwwwww. Wish we had a pic!

Meanwhile, with Wally at the helm, Good Co. have flourished in the South division, dispatching teams left and right. They have beaten two solid squads in Rbar and The Yetis in back to back weeks. Word has it that Captain Calves will be absent for this one, but might be blackmailed into making the game and disappointing his mother if we release certain pictures of him in a a very sexy red dress from last night’s Sexy Ladies Night. We know we should have never pinky promised not to post those pics on the WSL site Damn it! Can Matty No Times stop Good Co.’s torrid start in the South? Will 3K show they belong in their new division? Field 2 at 3:00 pm is where to be!

5PM

Field #1: Soft Spot vs. Loggers (GBlack)

Whatchu got to say about THAT, Yetis?

Is this the game? Is this the game that the Loggers finally break through and taste the delicious nectar of victory? With Jen10, Brenner, and Tony “Nacho Libre” Basile, there is no better and sweeter bunch of dudes and dudettes in this league. They have been in every game this season, even losing a 1 run game to the undefeated Good Co. We will be rooting hard for you guys to get of the winless column.

They face a very cohesive and battle-tested unit, the Yetis who have another great father/son team in Winny and Baby Boy. No motherly love needed, they are doing just fine. Tough minded and not easily rattled, The Soft Spot will be out for blood after being massacred last week. (Random question: Are Yetis carnivores? Just curious, i assume they are). A determined Jason Dietz and snow monster crew will be trying to avoid a three-game losing streak.

Field #2: Gibson vs. duckduck (Shortz)

This one’s for you, Todd

Still reeling from last week’s loss (gross), the Reelers could be in trouble this Sunday against the Gibson. But we should have our full squad… At least I think we should since we just got our roll call email this morning. I’ll save the “we’ve hit rock bottom” speech for the recap in the event we lose.

Back to the game- Although the Gibson have yet to capture a “W” thus far, their defense is pretty solid when they have Leigh, Marcin and “Taffy MacDougal hater” Todd in attendance. We’re on field #2, meaning we’ll have a zero percent chance of people watching us, but I promise you, SOMETHING EPIC WILL HAPPEN during our game. Future scholars will maintain that those who did not witness it themselves will have regret so massive, they’ll go through the rest of their life with a dark emptiness in their souls. (Note to self: Now think of something totally epic so that you will not be pelted with the same half-eaten candies from the 3pm preview).
 

See you all on Sunday…

Toodles,

The New Additions

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