Coach: Matty No Times – mattienotimes00@hotmail.com
Motto: Confuse and Destroy!

Three Kings is an American softball team whose career spans more than five decades. With a show that sometimes includes a guillotine, gallows, electric chair, fake blood, boa constrictor and baby dolls, Three Kings pioneered a grandly theatrical and violent brand of athletics that was designed to shock.Three Kings thirst for notoriety, combined with their hatred for almost everyone, caused them to transform themselves into the most vile, sickening and fear-spreading team in sports history. Along with the fights and self-mutilation came on-field defecation and urination (as well as the eating/drinking of it), brutal fights with other members of the crowd, drug/alcohol abuse, nudity, etc.Yes,this band of mutants was a controversial group known for wild live shows that broke countless taboos.In 1987,Three Kings was convicted of second degree assault for an attempted robbery and in 1994, their coach was shot in the crotch following an argument with another teammate. In 1997, 13 of the 15 players were arrested for failure to pay child support for a total of 37 children. Finally,in 1998, the team pled guilty to assault on a Tazmanian Devil mascot,after almost beating him to death with their bats because he could not get his legs to swirl like they did in the cartoon.The team served 10 years in maximum security prison in upstate New York where they remained a softball team.Throughout their stint they lost some players to shankings,homosexuality,and the hole but picked up some real sluggers for their early release.They are back this year,on double secret probation,and we will see whether the time spent behind bars has tamed these wild beasts that used to rule the wild softball fields of Brooklyn.