Standings

Joe Godsy Division
NORTH W L PCT RF RA
Spike Hill 6 4 .600 122 113
Roebling Sports Club 5 4 .556 86 78
Turkey's Nest 5 4 .556 91 92
AT All-Stars 2 7 .222 67 93
 
SOUTH W L PCT RF RA
Gibson 8 1 .889 118 77
St. Anselm 5 4 .556 82 68
R Bar 4 7 .364 109 168
A Bar Runaways 1 7 .125 44 67
 
Joe Fashion Division
NORTH W L PCT RF RA
The Bedford Yetis 6 4 .600 103 108
Clems 5 4 .556 96 93
Loggers 4 6 .400 89 97
The Gutter 86ers 4 6 .400 121 129
 
SOUTH W L PCT RF RA
3 Kings 8 1 .889 169 60
Kilo Bravo 7 3 .700 118 97
Parkview Scorpions 6 4 .600 118 93
Turkey's Teachers 0 10 .000 78 178

Schedule

Week 12 - Jul 01
11:00 Roebling Sports Club @ Turkey's Teachers 1
A Bar Runaways @ The Bedford Yetis 2
1:00 Spike Hill @ Parkview Scorpions 1
AT All-Stars @ Kilo Bravo 2
3:00 The Gutter 86ers @ R Bar 1
Gibson @ Clems 2
5:00 St. Anselm @ Loggers 1
Turkey's Nest @ 3 Kings 2

Last Week's Results

Week 11 - Jun 24
Gibson0 @ 3 Kings 0
Loggers0 @ Turkey's Nest 0
R Bar5 @ Kilo Bravo 16
AT All-Stars0 @ The Bedford Yetis 0
Clems0 @ A Bar Runaways 0
St. Anselm0 @ Parkview Scorpions 0
Roebling Sports Club0 @ The Gutter 86ers 0

Week 2 – RECAP

Thu, Apr 14, 2016

Many teams were flashing their new gear for the new year. Some had new colors, some had new names with the same colors and some bought white T-shirts with a few dozen cans of spray paint. Either way, most teams have their new jerseys so starting week 3 we can start tracking players that refuse to wear their team’s uniform. This leads us to our Week 2 Recap Rant….

Week 2 Recap Rant: We all know who they are. They have a uniform but decide they would rather wear something that’s totally different from their team. It doesn’t make sense… You are on a team. Put on your jersey. This isn’t time to express your fashion originality. You need to wear clothes and it’s just as easy to put on your team’s shirt as it is to put on that random concert T-shirt or fancy Under Armor Dri-Fit. An older version of a team’s uniform is fine and we can give a pass to someone who forgets their jersey one week or has a jersey that doesn’t fit or even the person who didn’t wash their shirt but it’s still weak if you don’t at least try to wear your team’s colors. It’s like Snake Eyes in GI Joe. Yeah, we love you but why are you dressed like a ninja? The rest of the team is in Camo. It’s the US military. We love your Ninja Skills but you don’t need to keep reminding us that you are special. At least put on a Camo Ninja outfit. In conclusion, don’t be a Snake Eyes even if you always wanted to be Snake Eyes. It’s simple…. If you got a shirt, wear it. Bring your glove, bring your gear. Now you know and knowing is half the battle.

 

11AM

Field #1: AT All-Stars @ 3 Kings (Fake G Black)

Where have you gone Gerald? Did you kick yourself out of the WSL editorial team? Did the Three Kings do something to you? While we continue to search for Gerald, we have the recap below. If we find Gerald, we will update this recap with his own take on what happened.

Three Kings came out hot. Frustrated by their first week loss and a slow start in game one, they put up 13 runs in the first 4 innings and 7 more in the last 3. The Three Kings took advantage of ATs errors and dropped balls while also utilizing their favorite game plan – LONG BALL . Denis Branley had two home runs, Joe Tomeo  had one and Bryan Munoz had two more to add to his first week monster blast. Even Nick” the maniac” Tomeo was called upon as a pitch hitter in the last inning and got a hit.

These two teams always have a loud and enjoyable time playing each other. As the Three Kings captain said, “Who doesn’t love watching Gerald’s hair flowing in the wind as he rounds the bases to the sounds of the sweet Vuvuzela?”

Three Kings get the Loggers and AT All-Stars get Turkey’s Nest to round out the inter-division play of Fashion South.

(AT 12 / Three Kings 20)

 

Field #2: Turkey’s Nest @ Loggers (Homer Wadsworth) 

The Nest played the Loggers and man, that shit sounded like a goddamn friendly affair.  I mean, the Nest are close to the most lovable, character filled team with Chuck, Korny and Sean and Andy and that guy Stachless Dan.  The Nest girls are pretty hot to trot (for some Turkeys) in Trish and Holly. I really like that team.  Always been a Mitch fan, myself.  If I had to choose between Mitch and Jake Backerman (old Gibson game we used to play) it would definitely be Wally.

The Loggers?  What?  Are you kidding!?!?!?  They have so much life and spunk and love.  Craig and Kristen are adorable and available to go hang with you and your parents this year if you want your folks to think you make good life choices.  Nelson “You Can Run But You Can’t Glide”  Nunez is always a blur on the basepaths and he pulled that shit on Field 2 all day this past weekend, as I spied my editorial challenge from across the diamonds.  They change their jerseys, kicked Cesar off the team, and have good spirit.  Huzzah, Loggers.  Huzzah.

Since I’m late submitting my recap, I’m just going to pretend I interviewed someone from both teams and have two huge quotes that are really just recaps the teams sent in.

So – The Dude from the Loggers said, “The Loggers started off this week much like last week giving up runs in the first. They got one back in the bottom of the first on a double by Jake and a 1B by Craig. We got another one back in the second on a single by Steph.” and then he said “Nest was up 8 to 2 when our bats came alive in the third.  The rally started with a hard hit 1B by E-Rock and was capped off by a 3-run shot by Dan giving us 5 in the inning and had us within reach at 8-7.  The bats went silent in the 4th but came back alive in the 5th when we had another huge inning.  This time Brains led off the inning with a walk and 5 singles later by the heart of the order we had the lead at 12 -10. Both teams clamped down and went scoreless until the 8th when the Nest added 2 more runs to tie.  In the 9th they scored two more to go ahead 14-12, we got runners on to tie the game by just didn’t get that big hit to tie it up.  Despite the loss, it was a great team game punctuated by multiple hits form the Lady Loggers and the arrival of Rookie Logger Dan Sykes going 3-4 with a home run, 3 Rbi’s and 3 runs scored as well as showing great range and being called a Human Vacuums by an unnamed Nest player. We look forward to next week when the Loggers face their perennial nemesis the Three Kings.” said Loggers guy.

So, then I interviewed Turkey’s Nest Guy and he said “With Karl France out, John Louis took the mound and was cruising along for the first few innings. But then the Loggers offense exploded and suddenly it was the sixth inning and the Turkeys were down two runs. And so new guy John Fagan got the call from the bullpen. When Mitchell Jones first mentioned this guy, my first thought was ‘Is he related to Steely Dan’s Donald Fagan?’ He still could be. I never asked him. But by the end of the game he was reminding me and everyone else of another rock and roll band—or one song in particular: “Enter Sandman” by Metallica. Dude went straight ’99 Mariano. Pitched four shutout innings. And not without a little help from the defense, particularly other new guy Sam Polcer, who made a crazy jump catch and tag at first base that defied imagination and the laws of physics. Trish followed that up by snagging a hard hit liner. And thanks to a HUGE McCarren hop homer from new guy Sean Taylor and a just-as-big hit from Holly, the Turkeys eked out the win.” said Nest guy.

Great recaps, dudes! See you on the internets. Shine bright on the diamond. Where’s my Tab?

(Nest 14 / Loggers 12)

 

1PM

Field #1: RSC @ Black Betty (Homer Wadsworth)

Last Sunday, which feels like forever ago, the Bettys met up with their first round playoff opponent from the 2015 campaign – Roebling Shportz Club. The game featured some big hits from rookies & newbies from BOTH teams while two of the most classic WSL pitchers went head to head, Mr Mark Halling and James ‘Money’ Byrne. Both teams came into this game from different places. The Bettys beat the Gutters by letting up the fewest runs in week one and the Robes let up the most week one runs in their loss to the Teachers. It was the season’s first upset, which might be news to most of the winners of that game.

The RSC/Betty game had a slow start with both teams getting runners on base but no one really stepping up and getting them across the dish.  After 5 innings the Sportspeople had a 5-3 lead going into the bottom of the 5th.  

Now I’m not one to write on and on about softball.  That’s not my thing. However, this was one of the most coolest debut’s I’ve ever seen in the league. WSL rookie Whitney Rose, new Betty Black Widow (widow Black Betty), stepped up to the plate with the bases juiced…. ‘I’m talkin bout Whitney Rooooooose’ up to the occasion with no out and on a 2-0 pitch she crushed a line drive bomb to left with the Roeblinger left fielder backstepping and trying to size up the fly ball.  He had a beat on it but the ball sailed over his head and Betty herstory was made.  The Betty went up 7-5 and never looked back.

The Sports Club, minus one Hogan (“There is no out of bounds”) and missing the awe inspiring and crafty motherfucker, Jake Everyman who was out saving a village with benches and tables, had its fair share of great plays and a TON of singles.  The ladies needed some help after Miss Clinchy got clinchied in the face by a ball last week and was still dealing with some weirdness (GET BETTER CLINCH!). In her absence, super sub Stephanie ‘Rod Carew’ from the Logger came up in her first at bat and said….”Oh a shift eh?” Smack to left.  She then made a few more sweet hits and really had the best game for Roebs.  Nina was also no joke with 2 hits of her own.  As the coach said after the game:  “Her concussions are contagious and i question her coming to the game.  I’m kidding.  I love Clinch and her hotty bf.”

JB$ showed his vet form on the hill recording a big K in the first inning, some say his 500th, other his 1000thst.  The Betty D has been tight this season only letting up a combined 11 runs in two games and only allowing scores in 4 of 18 innings.  They play a rejuvenated Teachers team this weekend so we’ll see how they do. The real star was Lukas at Roebling who had 2 wings when his Mom wasn’t looking and 2 sliders when Millard though resting them on his head wouldn’t be noticed.  I’m really starting to like that kid.  

(RSC 6 / Black Betty 15)

 

Field #2: Gutter 86ers @ Turkey’s Nest Teachers (Grambo) 

Most runs scored in one game so far?  Check. Least runs scored in one game so far? Check. It’s week two, folks…and we don’t know who Turkey’s Teachers are.  They didn’t score much this time out, but they did have some highlights–David Martin pitching a helluva game–no word yet on whether or not the helmet has bluetooth.  And guys, for real, guys, DO NOT expect to get a hit through the infield on the right side.  NOTHING gets through TNT’s 2B Avie Linden.  Hard hits, dribblers, liners–NOTHING.  Avie also was the Teacher’s sole offensive highlight: 2-3 with a RBI.

The 86ers came out swinging early–the top of their lineup was hot–including three two baggers in a row to lead off the game, with Ben, Rich, Quigs, and Giorgio each having at least two hits. Among MalVP‘s many talents is a keen eye for lineups…see, for instance, Talia–perfectly slotted at no. 7, she came through with two hits–and two RBI in the pivotal fifth inning when the 86ers put it out of reach with seven in the frame. So all in all, the onslaught was too much to handle for TNT, and they go down to the Gutter 13-5.  As to what to expect from TNT here on out?  As Haz says–“We play as a team, we win as a team, we lose as a team, but we drink at the Nest either way”.

Next week is going to be tough for the boys and girls in blue–they take on the Black and Yellers.  The Gutter faces the (currently) downtrodden RSC.

(86ers 13 / TNT 5)

 

3PM

Field #1: St. Anselm @ Spike Hill (Alexander P. Dubin Esq.)

Since O’Malley didn’t do a recap and since no one sent me a copy of the book, I have Pete “Hassel” Hoffman’s recap and my foggy recollection of the game to go on. Enjoy the lies and inaccuracies, people.

The reborn Evil Empire jumped out to a 5-1 lead on the  St. Elmo’s Imposition Bowl (seriously tho, I don’t know what their team nickname is… The St. Anselm … Corn-Holers? Butt Surfers? Dixie Chicks? A LITTLE HELP HERE, PEOPLE!) after 3 innings, led by a two run shot from the newest member of the Dark Side, Mike “Spike” McNelis. In Pete’s recap, he described the blast as having “split our defense in half.” I think sexual innuendo is funny and in this case, if you think of St. No Name in a sexual capacity, it sounds as if Pete is suggesting that Mike made rough whoopee with a softball team. Classic Hasselhoffman.

The lone Anselm run of those early innings came off the bat of WSL rookie, “I” Will “Survive” Smith (3 hits, 3 rbi, 1 horrible nickname). In his recap, Pete referred to Will’s homer as a “moonshot.” I don’t have the exact inappropriate metaphor at the moment but it’s probably something about ejaculating all over Neil Armstrong.

St. Anselm of Canterbury, also known as Anselm of Aosta, also known as Prisoner #473658, who was twice exiled by Kings William II and Henry I for double-dipping his nachos and tax evasion, respectively, has a very well-documented Wikipedia page, with a lot of information that I could have read but my Adderall is wearing off, so let’s just assume he won multiple Best Supporting Actor awards at the B.C. Oscars and that’s why they made him a Saint.

Moving on … The Exiles would wake up and rally in the 5th, when Hasselhoffman, Jay “David” Silver and Derek “Never Have I” Evers, all singled to lead off the inning, followed by a 2 rbi rope up the middle by Slick Willy Smith and a single by Jon “Grosse Pointe” Blank to score Evers and Smith, giving the Exiled Holymen a 6-5 lead. I don’t remember what happened between then and the 8th but I think Spike Hill climbed back to tie the game but not for long, as the Exiles got clutch hits from rookie Anderson “Rasta” Acosta, Christian “Van” Ver Halen (obvious but still awesome), Ryan “We Need More ‘Bort’ License Plates” and Adam “Both Fs In My Last Name Are Silent” Hoffman, followed by a big sac fly from third baseman, Jeff “Christmas” Carroll “King The Musical” to put the Pope-lovers up by a run heading into the bottom of the 9th.

After McNelis grounded out and I foul ball struck out, it was up to Mike “The Mouth” Powell and Co to get it done with 2 outs. Powell reached base on an error and then WSL rookie, Alex “He’s My Teammate But I Don’t Know His Last Name But He Won Us The Game, So His Last Name For This Week Will Be” Ass-Kicker, stepped to the plate and roped a ball down the third base line for a walk-off 2-run homer.

Don’t kid yourself, boys and girls, The Saints are no joke. This was a tough loss and a horrible article but St. Anselm might be the best 1-1 team in the league. Next up for the Holy Ones is a war at sea against the Battleship, while the Hillians look to remain perfect as they try to send home the Runaways. Stay tuned.

(St. Anselm  8 / Spike Hill 9)

 

Field #2: Clemeica @ Soft Spot Runaways (Nat the Bat)

The day started off cold and overcast, the AT/3 Kings fire pit was a-blaze, and the Betty was putting on quite the hitting display over on field 1.  Typical WSL Sunday.  As the 3pm games approached, the scenery began to change.  With the arrival of the Soft Spot Runaways, the sun peeked out of the clouds, and the onlookers had to put on their shades, mostly to shield their eyes from the new Runaway jerseys.  Word on the street is that the Runaways had an offseason team building retreat at the Jersey Shore and their visit to the Shore Store left quite the impression.  I was really hoping Snooki and J-Woww were gonna make an appearance.

In the visitor’s dugout, the battleship donned their sleek black and white colors and were feeling a bit patriotic.  With the absence of our usual Battleship flag, we paid tribute to good ol’ America with the stars and stripes hoisted on the 3rd base fence.  The battleship took the field missing some very crucial shipmates: Kelly (still lost in Idaho), DBA (busy training little DBA for his WSL debut), and Markow (resting up for his epic month long bachelor festivities).  Last but not least, our resident Frank the Tank, Big Cleary, caught a bit of scurvy after our encounter w/ Spike Hill last weekend and was left bed ridden.  Not to worry, we Clemericans are quite resourceful. That clever Stryker strapped on (pun intended) a fancy harness encasing his phone so that Big Cleary was with us every play of the game.  Even umpire Zak got a little facetime!

The Clemericans got on the board quickly putting up 2 runs in the top of the first only to give them back with some spotty defense. It was a tight match for all 9 innings with each team knocking in a few runs here and there, neither team maintaining a lead for more than 2 innings. Somewhere around the 5th and 6th innings things got a little heated and it looked as though the Runaways were about to take the lead w/ 2 runners in scoring position and Chad White at the plate.  Chadillac sent a line drive rocket to LF getting the bench on their feet in an uproar!  In a display of true athleticism and agility, Rob “Slow Mo” lept in the air to catch what for sure would’ve been a gamechanger.   Runners tagged up and both crossed the plate.  Clemerican defense appealed one of the runs, stating the runner on 2nd never tagged up, and Zak Attack confirmed and called the final out of the inning.  Talk about a momentum crusher.  The call was heavily disputed, but the game must go on. *I did a little research and dug into the archives, and apparently 25 years ago, Breezy was robbed of his very first WSL homerun for not touching 1B.  Ironically enough, Capt Sam Rio was umping that game.  It all comes full circle folks.*

The Battleship was able to take the lead in the top of the 7th with 3 runs, and added another 2 for good measure in the top of the 9th to make the final score of 9-7.  Yappy Bobby took command of the game at SS, and went 3-4 with a homer in the 4th inning while rookie Danny Boy went 4-4 with 2 RBIs and 2 runs scored in the cleanup spot (had some big shoes to fill!). The Battleship emerged victorious, game ball going to our brother, Big Cleary (with Mulligan as his proxy).

With strong defensive pitching (Henry Falconi was definitely a goalkeeper in a past life) and oodles of muscle power in the lineup coming from Chadillac, Czr, and Mikey black (this trio gets my vote for the cover of “The Men of WSL Calendar”), the Runaways are quite the contenders!

Next week the men in orange will take on undefeated Spike Hill (with new uniforms, perhaps?) and the Battleship will face off w/ St. Anselm. My money is on both these games being a very tight match! Unless the 5pm time slot gets the better of these teams…forecast is calling for sunshine and lots of boozy coffee drinks.  Just saying…

(Clems  9 / Runaways 7)

 

5PM

 Field  #1 Kilo Bravo @ Gibson (Grambo)

It was the new and improved Gibby Gibsoners vs the Pinks at five pm on field one. Pinky Pitcher Dominic was working the count in the first, but he didn’t figure he’d come up against new kid Dylan Hartigan.  The kid blasted one so far we’re not sure it landed yet. So, respect from the Pinks for Gibby?  Say it ain’t so!  But yes–next time up–Dylan got a freebie!  Add to that Ado’s superb day -3/3 plus a walk, and Kaz sparked a five run rally in the 6th inning while going four for four on the day and the kids from the bar on Bedford weren’t looking too shabby.

But, it wasn’t quite enough, cause even with new signee Mike Q on the bench with what is described as a twerking injury–Kilo Bravo still brings the boom.  Danny Rash went 3/5 with a HR, Dom added three hits and a two bagger, and Allen was perfect on the day–blasting five hits. Not only that–every player but two in the lineup for the Pinks had at least two hits. Pretty impressive, and just a bit too much for the new look Gibby to overcome. KB wins 19-9.

Next week doesn’t get any easier for either team, as the Gibby takes on a pissed off R-Bar squad and Kilo goes up against the undefeated Bedford Winnie Yetis

(Kilo Pinko 19 / Gibson 9)

 

Field #2: Bedford Yetis @ R Bar (Alexander P. Dubin Esq.)

OK peoples, after a week off where Nat “How Have I Not Moved To Williamsburg Yet” Chaquinga covered my article most capably, I return to the Fray, where I may or may not be in Over My Head. Ugh, did I really just make a “the Fray” reference? I’m sorry. I’m better than that. To make up for it, everyone take a moment and mentally picture Shafer taking his driving test in high school. Am I the only one who envisions a Ricky Bobby/Dennis The Menace hybrid getting into a busted up beige ‘89 Corolla with the driver’s ed teacher from Encino Man, slapping him on the back and saying “DRIVERS ED! IS YOUR NAME ED?! IT SHOULD BE! LET’S DO THIS THING, ED!” .. and then flooring it and crashing into a church?

Moving on, although you all know me for my daring literary style and legendary sex offender status, I’m gonna be careful with this recap because, as some of you know, this writer plays Saturday League with Soft Spot, which is basically the R-Bar All-Stars + Dubin and Chad. By now, you all know that the Yetis scored the first major upset of the young season, burning down the defending champs, in what started off as a surprise beatdown but evolved into a very exciting game; so let’s get to it!

Batting first, the Yetis wasted no time, putting up a 5 spot on arguably the best pitcher in the league, Stephen “Stephen ‘Bubbs’ Connors” Connors. The scoring started right away when Yetis Head Pastry Chef, James “Tim The Toolan Taylor” (4-5) led off the game with a scorched home run to somewhere in the outfield that I don’t remember (I’m great at this job). The Bedford’s new squad would add 4 more runs in the inning and before you could say, “Dubin is benched for this Saturday for that bullshit ‘burning down’ crack,” the underdog Yetis were out to a 5-0 lead.

Five runs in the top of the 1st inning would be a gut shot for most teams but this isn’t most teams; these are the defending champs! Their jerseys have buttons! IT’S CLOBBERING TIME! But not on this day. I mean, their jerseys still had buttons but not the clobbering time part. R-Bar would not score until the bottom of the 5th, when, down 12-0, the defending champs put up a 2-spot to finally draw Yeti blood, which, I’m told by Bobby Maxwell, tastes surprisingly like cat blood. I spoke with John “The Last Scion” Sciccone, who had this to say about the Bums’ lackluster start, “We were silent until the 5th and proceeded to score in every inning after that, but, as JoJo says, it was Too Little, Too Late (Note: I’m not apologizing for that one. I like that song. It’s on my iPhone. I listen to it when it comes on. When you see me walking with my earphones in, there’s a good chance I’m listening to JoJo). There weren’t really any highlights on our part. We continue the 4 year pattern of not playing well in the cold weather. We came out flat and I hate flat! What in this world is good that’s flat?! Flat soda – no fizz. Flat baseline – no beat. Flat Stanley – no grasp of safety regulations.” (Note: He actually said most/some of that but not the JoJo part; that was all Dub (I’m Dub)).

R-Bar would make it interesting, scoring every inning from the 5th through the end of the game, lead by 4 hit days from Bobby “Brett Favre” Knapp (that’s a retirement joke) and Daniel “The Red October” Chaupis (his glove is red and he throws submarine and he once had sex with Sean Connery), as well as 3 hits from the almost birthday boy, Jason “My Last Name Sounds Like It Might Be Spelled Without Any Vowels” Merhaut, but the Bums just ran out of real estate, as the Yetis prevailed 18-16.

On the Yetis side, the entire The Bedford squad had a big day, with every player chipping in at least one hit and two borderline inappropriate “Jake Backerman” butt slaps, highlighted by Toolan’s leadoff bomb, a 4-5 day from Zak “The Backwards Kaz” Haviland and a banner 3 rbi day from WSL rookie, Meagan “My Last Name Wasn’t in The Recap, So Alex Will Make One Up” Oberholzer (in my mind, Meagan is from Norway, for some reason). However, the most revengey line of the day surely came from former Bum, Matt “I’m Not Gonna Do a Sperm Joke Here” Seemen, who went 3-5 for with a bases-clearing double and a big rbi triple, as well as making a web gem stretch/dig at first base to end the game. Nothing happened after that play. It was uneventful and everyone shook hands because the WSL is about sportsmanship; sportsmanship and me deciding to stop keeping track of the names of the teams.

Next up for the Yetis is Kilo Bravo, who used to be something else but I don’t care, while R-Bar will look to rebound against the Gibson, who I think used to be the Gibson but I still don’t care. I like chocolate cake.

(Yetis 18 / R Bar 16)

 

Comments

Powered by Facebook Comments