Standings

Joe Godsy Division
NORTH W L PCT RF RA
Spike Hill 13 6 .684 243 194
Roebling Sports Club 11 8 .579 220 177
Turkey's Nest 9 9 .500 178 199
AT All-Stars 4 14 .222 138 203
 
SOUTH W L PCT RF RA
Gibson 15 4 .789 238 169
St. Anselm 13 6 .684 214 151
R Bar 7 11 .389 175 244
A Bar Runaways 4 14 .222 120 178
 
Joe Fashion Division
NORTH W L PCT RF RA
Clems 13 6 .684 223 171
The Bedford Yetis 10 8 .556 205 207
Loggers 7 11 .389 158 166
The Gutter 86ers 8 11 .421 201 216
 
SOUTH W L PCT RF RA
Kilo Bravo 13 5 .722 233 165
Parkview Scorpions 11 8 .579 215 174
Turkey's Teachers 0 18 .000 132 312
- 1 1 .500 10 17

Schedule

Championship Sunday - Sep 23
11:00 Parkview Scorpions @ Clems 1
Roebling Sports Club @ Spike Hill 2
2:00 North Champion @ South Champion 2

Last Week's Results

Championship Sunday - Sep 23
Parkview Scorpions0 @ Clems 0
Roebling Sports Club0 @ Spike Hill 0
North Champion0 @ South Champion 0

Week 20 – RECAP

Wed, Aug 26, 2015

Some of Sunday’s games were complete blowouts while others were just plain shockers. See Condon there, he’s shocked. But you can help him out by swinging by Roebling Sporting Club Saturday at 9pm to watch him make an ass of himself guest bar tending for a good cause. Winnie ‘DJ Sparks’ will also be the the house.

11AM

The Runaways @ Loggers (Shortz)

Click me to watch my sad journey.

Holy pitching, Basile! Tony B pitched a 4 hitter giving up only 1 Runs-run while every Logger recorded a hit. See- tough love DOES work!

The truant, injury plagued Runs on the other hand had a half-female line up (including my girl Megan, back from injury and being a career girl). To the naked eye, it looked like an actual co-ed league! Fifteen-year Orangier vet, Ed Carroll, finally got a day off from work to make his 2015 debut. He was rewarded by getting batted last, but managed to have the best stats of the day, playing a spectacular short and going 2/3 with a third base coach away from a home run.

The Loggers came out hard and fast in the first few innings with seeing-eye liners, bloops and blasts to create a formidable 8-run lead. Jake C (POTW Nominee) led the charge, going 4-5 with 2 HR’s and 8 RBI’s. While Al C made his return from injury to go 3-5 after almost 2 and a half months off. Plus Brains, Brian B and Jay Mort were on base at an almost perfect clip.

The Runs found it difficult to challenge in very, very large part due to the playing of Brian at short and amazing team source Craig at 3B, who had at least fifteen(hundred) infield assists. The Orangiers lone run(away) came in the 2nd inning courtesy of Christina who was knocked in by the incomparable Ed Carroll. 

The Loggers end the season on a high note and look forward to carrying this over to the playoffs. And Sam, moving forward we promise not to associate your team with “candy”- shit!

(The Runaways 1 / Loggers 25)

AT United @ Turkey’s Nest () 

Graphic by  

You never know what to expect at 11AM. Who’s hungover…who’s still drunk…who hasn’t slept…who already had too many cups of coffee (me)? ATU came prepared with bagels and lox, along with mimosas. Pure genius! They were so extremely gracious and shared with everyone too…then the Nest repaid them with utter annihilation.

Turkey’s Nest got on the board in the 1st, 2nd and 3rd innings. Karl led the way, with a couple of RBIs, as they would take a 5-0 lead. That would’ve been enough to get the victory, but the Turks continued to pile on with 5 runs in the 5th, capped off by a 2 RBI double from Andy. Finally, they slugged 5 doubles in a row en route to another 6 runs in the 7th. Chuck provided the spark with 3 hits, a BB and 4 runs scored in the leadoff role, while Jordisco and DB each reached base safely 3 times in the game. The Nest defense was basically flawless, holding ATU to a lone run in the 8th inning. Vinny even gave up on the Vuvuzelas mid-game.

Some ATU highlights from the game recap notes of the ever sapient one, Soda Pop:

Shelly had 2 hits.“

“The other highlight was us tricking Nate and DJ into thinking we actually won in the post game e-mail chain.”

“We were Teen Wolf Too bad.”

ATU certainly received a vocabulary lesson on Sunday:

na·dir

ˈnādər,ˈnādir/

noun

noun: nadir; plural noun: nadirs

the lowest point in the fortunes of a person or organization.

“they had reached the nadir of their sufferings”

synonyms: lowest point, lowest level, all-time low, bottom, rock-bottom; informal: pits.

ATU gets one more shot at a victory next Sunday, as they face off with the Godsy South division leading 86ers. They are already locked into the 5 seed on the Fashion side of the bracket, so expect more pre-game brunchy treats. The Turks got saddled with a doubleheader in the makeup week (Thanks, Sam!). They will play Black Betty early and then end their regular season against The Runaways at 1pm. After that, we all take a break for the workin’ man and then it’s playoff time!

(AT United 1 / Turkey’s Nest 16)

1PM

Field #1: Gibson @ Clemerica (Alexander P. Dubin Esq.)  

It was late Sunday afternoon when the call came in to the Williamsburg PD, “the Juice is loose.” The Juice, of course, referring to WSL star and Clemerican leadoff man, Kelly Southerland. Southerland, who is now a prime suspect in the murders of his wife, Nicole Brown Southerland and her companion, Ronald Jewenstein, was supposed to turn himself in to WPD headquarters, on the blacktop, but instead, fled the city. It was soon learned that Southerland was in the flat-bead of a white Ford Bronco with his longtime friend and teammate, Markow Cowlings, better known as “Markowlings”. Markowlings alerted officers on the phone that Southerland had 18 PBRs and a “shit-ton of tranny porn” and was threatening to “yank his dick off until he died.” Southerland family attorney, Robert “Bobby” Kardashian, addressed the media later that evening, stating: “At the moment, we all just want Kelly to come home, so we can clear this whole mess up. Go Dawgs.”

Questioned at the scene, Southerland’s friend, Kato “Breezey” Kaelin, who lived in the pool house on Southerland’s plush Billyburg estate, denied any knowledge of who might have killed Mrs. Southerland and Mr. Jewbag. He also ate four boxes of Lucky Charms during the interview. When he finally returned home, Southerland was taken into custody by WPD Sergeant, Stryker O’Stryker, who beat Southerland without mercy for 18 minutes, as is, of course, required by police protocol.

When the trial began, Southerland had assembled an all-star defense team, including Bobby Kardashian and DBA Cochran. On the other side, the prosecution, which was based at Williamsburg bar, The Gibson, was made up of Sam “Marsha Clarke Isn’t a Funny Enough Name to Do a Nickname” Warden and her feisty lawyering crew. Judge Lance “Linder” Eto, presided over the proceedings and everyone loved him but then he moved back-back to Cali-Cali and all were bummed.

Sadly for the prosecution, Southerland was ultimately found innocent and released, as DBA Cochran engaged the now famous, “If the condom does not fit, that doesn’t tell you anything because Kelly doesn’t use condoms” defense. Lawyered.

(Gibson 7 / Clemerica 23)

Field #2: Enids @ R Bar (McNelis)

Hype fail!

After writing about the Pinks steadily wrecking everything in sight for the last few weeks, I was very confident that they would be ready to bring it on Sunday. They put a hurting on R Bar in Week 1 of the season and had parlayed that into a 12-4 record, thus far. The Bums have been even more dominant since that day, amassing a ridiculous 13 wins in their last 15 games. I was so ready for this to be the game of the week, but I could not have been more wrong.

R Bar was really looking to make a statement, as they were apparently still fuming over the Week 1 loss. The rout was on from the jump. Josh and John R both homered in the bottom of the 1st, while D-Lo would cap off the inning with an RBI single. They eventually plated 5 in the frame, followed by 4 in the 2nd and another 2 in the 3rd…actually, they would score in each of the first 6 innings. The Pinks never knew what hit them and never had an answer to the carnage.

As for statistical highlights, Josh and Bubbs each had 4 hits, multiple runs, and many RBIs for the Bums. Adam reached base 3 times, while scoring twice. Bobby added a few extra-base knocks to the cause, to go with his 2 runs and 2 RBIs. CZR and Stacy each drove in a run for the Pinks, who only had 10 hits all day.

R Bar wrapped up the Fashion North division, with a lone game remaining this coming weekend against The Bedford. They still have an opportunity to get the top overall seed in the playoffs with a win, so I assume they’ll be out in force. Enid’s will finish up against the Battleship on Sunday, but they have very little riding on the game. The Pinks are now locked into the 3 seed for their side of the playoff bracket.

(Enids 2 / R Bar 17)

3PM Field #1: Crown Vic 86ers @ Roebling Sports Club (Shortz)

Roebling was off to a roaring start to avenge their week 1 loss to the souped up Vics. Remy greatness was truly on display in the early innings; Jake ‘The Hawk’ hit a solo home run, and Poetic Justin (POTW nominee) hit a shot that is still floating around space with dead George Clooney. 

Our 6-0 lead felt good, but if week 1 taught us anything, it’s that Crown Vic have come back from bigger deficits before and we knew it was only a matter of time before they striked back. And strike back they did in the 4th with a 2-run bomb by Chris Giorgio. The 86ers took over the lead after putting up 4 runs in the 6th, including a 3-run shot by Dylan 4EVA McKay, while the Remys’ bats went sleepy time in the 4th-7th innings thanks to clutch fielding by Dylan at SS, Kathryn ‘Desert Storm’ Irby at 2B and Ben Weisman in LF. The 86erswould tack on 5 more in the 8th to extend the lead to 13-6 but the Remys didn’t “hear no bell”. In the bottom of the 8th, Shawn “The Insurance Policy” hit a double, only to collide hard with an out of position Barnes.

As he retreated to the bench like a G, “Oh Captain, my Captain” Hogan had his first AB. Having spent the majority of the game overseeing his squad from the sidelines, he knocked himself and Shawn’s courtesy runner across the dish with a hurtful home run. One Remy run in the 9th and 2 left on base was sadly not enough to overpower the 86ers and their awesome MalVP hats.

(Crown Vic 86ers 13 / Roebling Sports Club 9)

Field#2: Impose @ Black Betty (Homer Wadsworth)  

Wait- this is what you mean by BooCakes?

The Impose have been having a good season, but after a loss last week to the 86ers decided to change uniforms entirely and go with a new, pre-Halloween theme that was described to me as Boo-cakes! Like a scary cake! I totally get it! The image on the shirt had the lil ghost cloths over their heads like lil scary ghosts and I can only guess the rest is frosting. Well, the shirts worked (as if they were needed) and the Boocakes came out scoring, playing defense and shutting down a quiet Betty offense.

The Bettys got on the board first with 3 runs and were hoping they could make it stand or maybe even add to it. Nah. The ScaryCakes came through in the 4th inning with 6 runs of their own off a few hits including a big one by lead singer Christian Van Halen which took the Betty OF by surprise, thinking time was called until it was past them and towards Field 1. The inning continued with a few more hits by Palma & Pete and a brotherly sacrifice by John. (awww!)

As Pete put it, “The Betty had the bases juiced in the 2nd and 5th inning and couldn’t capitalize. Also, no one on our team has any tattoos or big guns so no one brought scissors to cut our sleeves off, or make a cool half shirt or something. We’re not like the other teams. Oh- and Chelsey owned me today.” Pete also went a quiet riot 3 for 3 with a sac fly in his last at-bat that, I think, made his day more than Chels did. By the 8th, the Boocakes were up 12-6 and cruising. The Betty probaly put some runners on but didn’t score them.

Christian had a day and get’s the POTW vote from me for a 5 for 5 day, a HR and 5 RBIs with a stellar day at 1B. When reached for comment Christian said, “I don’t mind not getting the POTW. I got the feeling. Power steerin’, pistons poppin’, aint no stopping nowwwwwwww!”

The Betty have their weekend work cut out for them with the Nest and Sixers while the Impose face a streaking Berry Park! Big implications are everywhere but I’ll let one of the other writers describe it in better detail since I’m all about the vibe, man. Also….shout out to the rookie umpire Joe ‘Lil Finger’ Tomeo who called a great game. As Chelsey put it, “He was everything and nothing.” Jeez…lighten up, lady.

Joe Godsy also played and killed it.

(Impose 17 / Black Betty 6)

 

5PM

Field #1: Turkey’s Teachers @ Berry Park (Homer Wadsworth)

As the 5pm shadows started creeping in, the last showdown of the day featured two teams looking to beat up on one another one last time and try to get a win in the books before the regular season ends. One coach has been running his team for years and pitching gems while the other has been running around for years waiting for the opportunity to be skipper. What a mashup!

Thankfully, the topless parade didn’t make it up to WillyB for these 2 managers who have such respect for one another, I can almost see a reality show based on the two of them where they manage a softball team, drink some beers, and really remind you what the neighborhood USED to be like. You know…used to be. The game was a good one and both teams were competing at such a friendly rate the umpire would’ve done another 5 innings if both teams asked and ponied up $20 per squad. He said so hisself.

To the highlights! Avid, for TNT, moved over to 3B from her usual spot at 2B, and played some stellar “corner while going 2 for 4 with a few nifty slides on the base paths”. Not to be left out, Haz went 4 for 4 and pitched the entire game and would’ve had a Homer had it not been for all the pesky running that goes into getting one. As he put it “I stretched a homer into a double.” Other standouts for the TNT include the kid who kept the book and seemed to be pretty on top of things for all 9 innings. The weirdest play of the day was an infield pop that turned into a HR, the ball never left fair territory and no bases were awarded to any runner. Only in the WSL. Oh…and someone got hurt, a lil’.

As for the Yetis, ‘Boston’ Dave had a huge day going 5 for 5 one HR short of the cycle. He also had a shit ton of activity at SS keeping the balls out of his face as needed. Winston himself, had 2 hits on the day, the second of which drew the awe and inspiration from none other than Haz himself: “I love Winston.” Don’t we all? Pizza was on the mound hitting Mia’s mitt on almost every pitch and the Yeti played great defense, limiting each Teacher rally from inning to inning.

In the end, the Rooftopper Cryptids won the game and the Teachers were pretty happy with their performance. The most memorable moment of the game was the LOVE Haz and Winnie had for one another…that bromance is one for the ages.

(Turkey’s Teachers 8 / Berry Park 15)

Field #2: 3 Kings @ The Bedford (Alexander P. Dubin Esq.)

3 Kings splits the season series with the Bedford after putting up a convincing 9 run win. The Kings took an early lead and never looked back. The middle of their order was spectacular, led by Joe and his “FUCK YOU FOR WALKING SANTORO TO GET TO ME” grand slam that landed just West of Nova Scotia.

The Bedford rallied but came up short, as the Kings regained first place in the division and the #1 overall seed in the conference. Both teams have tough playoff roads ahead but this could be a preview of an epic conference championship game. For the Bedford, the bright spot was Sexy Steve Mina, who had a grand slam of his own. Now the #3 seed, the Brunchers move on to face R-Bar, while the Kings are done for the regular season.

(3 Kings 16 /The Bedford 8)

*EDITOR’S NOTE: Now that every team has a POTW, The WSL web crew voted to have fun with our final POTWs. Apologies are in order to our true nominees Jake Cahill, Christen Van Halen, Nat ‘Dat Ass!’ Chaquinga, and Poetic Justin.

WSL Player of the Week is…Shortzy’s Lounge Chair!!!

SPEEECH!!!

Chair: Well, it’s about time! I’ve been on the sidelines this whole season, getting crushed by my owner…for not awarding me what’s rightfully mine.

1. You talk a big game, why should you have been chosen earlier?

Chair: Although I’ve yet to make it into the lineup, I’ve seen enough Roebling games to know I’d be the best player out there. And don’t get me started on Shortz- she is such a dummy. She always trips over my footrest when she gets up, what is she pregnant or something? Learn to walk, IDIOT!

2. When you were told you might have to pinch-hit for Shawn because the other team declined Roebling’s plea to pick up someone from the league to fill the slot or let a benched player re-enter the game, what was going through your head?

Chair: Nothing was going through my head per se, because I don’t have a head. But when Shawn told me he could still play, I was worried for his state of mind, because he was talking to a lounge chair.

3. Had Roebling put you in the game, what were you hoping to accomplish at the plate?

Chair: Honestly, I was hoping for a walk. I’ve been in a bit of a slump this season. Hogan keeps telling me to choke up on the bat during soft toss, but having no arms…or hands makes it difficult.

4. Describe the mood at Roebling post-game.

Chair: Pretty good. The team devoured 2 plates of wings, Jalapeño tots and Nachos while playing their favorite bar game, “Shout out random names to girls passing by and see if any of them are correct” Then our sister team, The Bedford, showed up and their was much rejoicing.

5. If you could dedicate your POTW to anyone, you know like someone who actually played, who would it be?

Chair: I’d give it to Justin. Even though thanks to him, Andrew almost forgot to bring me home. Plus, I hear he has it bad…for lounge chairs.

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