Standings

Joe Godsy Division
NORTH W L PCT RF RA
Turkey's Nest 6 5 .545 105 113
Roebling Sports Club 6 5 .545 124 104
Spike Hill 6 5 .545 127 130
AT All-Stars 2 9 .182 87 126
 
SOUTH W L PCT RF RA
Gibson 8 3 .727 137 105
St. Anselm 6 5 .545 106 86
R Bar 5 7 .417 120 177
A Bar Runaways 1 10 .091 65 126
 
Joe Fashion Division
NORTH W L PCT RF RA
The Bedford Yetis 8 4 .667 141 134
Clems 7 4 .636 122 109
The Gutter 86ers 5 7 .417 149 152
Loggers 4 8 .333 106 126
 
SOUTH W L PCT RF RA
3 Kings 11 1 .917 220 76
Kilo Bravo 8 3 .727 135 103
Parkview Scorpions 8 4 .667 145 103
Turkey's Teachers 0 11 .000 85 204

Schedule

Week 14 - Jul 22
11:00 St. Anselm @ The Bedford Yetis 1
Parkview Scorpions @ AT All-Stars 2
1:00 Turkey's Teachers @ Turkey's Nest 2
3:00 Clems @ R Bar 1
The Gutter 86ers @ Gibson 2
5:00 A Bar Runaways @ Loggers 1
Kilo Bravo @ Roebling Sports Club 2

Last Week's Results

Week 13 - Jul 15
WSL Women's League0 @ WSL Women's League 0
Loggers0 @ R Bar 0
Clems0 @ St. Anselm 0
A Bar Runaways0 @ The Gutter 86ers 0
The Bedford Yetis0 @ Gibson 0
Turkey's Teachers0 @ AT All-Stars 0
A Bar Runaways0 @ Roebling Sports Club 0
Kilo Bravo0 @ Spike Hill 0
Parkview Scorpions0 @ Turkey's Nest 0

Week 18 – RECAP

Wed, Aug 12, 2015

#joysofbeingknockuped

 Some of you may have lost this Sunday. But at least you didn’t have to run away from 3 cakes then chug this gnarly drink on Monday.

11AM

Field #1: Roebling Sports Club @ Impose (Shortz)

With banana bread baked for my team and Godsy’s awesome wife Jen to hang with me in the comfort of shade and camping chairs, I was ready to barely pay attention to my surroundings. That’s what the scorebooks are for (when properly kept, that is)!

From what I did witness, it was death by a thousand cuts in our late morning fete, with station to station hitting from not us. Even without Pete’s masterful pitching (who had fallen ill), the Remys still couldn’t manage to do some scoring damage until the 3rd inning when Hogan and Cynthia scored on a RBI double by Jake. But the ‘Strike a Impose’ had already plated 7 in the early frames (and pecked Phil’s ass (literally) off as he ran back the first in one of many Remy flyouts). Our team was sorely missing our 100 dollar baby, Justin, but somehow managed to snag my website errand boy (I KID! YOU’RE A STAR!) McNelis. But we failed to cash in on our winning ticket, inning after inning, as we let the lead get bigger longer and uncut.

By the end of the 5th is 15-3 with the amount of Remy runners left on base creeping into the double digits. We’d have a homer here (from Phillipe Got His Groove Back) and an RBI there (from Cuban Missile Sandor) but our lone 4-5er Shawn and 3-5ers Jake, Clinch and Cynthia were out matched by a team full of on base hits capped with an exclusive 5-5 Club- Ryan, DJ and Derek.

The silver lining: Impose came to Roebling Sporting Club with us to enjoy some brunch and booze. The silver platinum lining: I no longer have to lug baked good to the field since it clearly doesn’t inspire greatness.

(Roebling Sports Club 6 / Impose 18)

Field #2: The Runaways @ AT United (Homer Wadsworth)

Since I’m being forced totally requested to write about you fuckers twice a week, every week, I feel like I’ve become somewhat prescient in my writing and have called a few games before they happen. I might not guess the winner (mostly because I haven’t done that yet) but I know how the teams in this league respond after a beat down or a close loss. The Runaways are this team. They competed with a tough 3 Kings squad a few weeks back and found their form in the close loss.

ATU upset 3 Kings and then lost to a surging Berry Park squad last week but had some big hits by their long silver haired slugger, Gerald ‘Marquez de Sade’. How would they come out against the Runaways who were playing with a lot more confidence and hutzpa? Who else would come out and be that player for ATU (besides ‘No Jeans’ Nate who went 3 for 4 and played a tight 1B)? Justin. That’s who.

According to the team’s recap writer, Justin, Justin was 3 for 4 with 4 RBIs, 2Rs scored and made a shit ton of plays in a previously unplayed position, the outfield, freezing and doubling up Runaway runners looking to advance on his underrated arm. With those kind of stats and compliments from all sorts of players reportedly heard around the field, you’d think he’d have a shot at POTW. Right? Derp! Sadly, Lauck just got POTW for ATU. Blame Lauck. And politics. Oh…and your team lost. Also looks like Lauck wasn’t even there. Doublederp. You got my non-existent vote, Capt.

To combat Justin’s heroics, The Runaways were firing on all cylinders with Pat ‘The Bat’ sailing a buncha first strikes over the dish, getting ahead of the United in every at-bat. The Dom’inator was a powerful 3 for 4 with a Homer to lead the charge offensively for his team while Jake ‘and Elwood’ made a huge catch to squash an ATU rally late in the contest. Polly ‘Wanna Extra Base?’ converted singles into doubles and the Runaways held the lead and got their second win of the season. A good win for the team right when they needed it most.

(The Runaways 12 / AT United 10)

 

1PM

Field #1: Enids @ Loggers () 

Sometimes a game is just over before it begins. It’s often hard to predict when it will happen, but it will become quickly apparent to anyone watching…or umping. Pinks vs Greens was one of these games. Not for the faint of heart.

Enid’s would step up to the plate in the top of the 1st inning and score a couple, on a 2-out hit from Wally Sprinkles and a bomb from Tommy T. They would score some more in the 2nd…and 3rd…and 4th…and eventually go up 19-0 in the top of the 5th. The Lumberfolk just never had an answer to the carnage in the early innings. Former Logger, Capt Calves, was twirling a gem on the mound and had the Loggers off their game completely. Stacy was her normal, amazing, 3-hit self at the plate; as were Dom and Comfy, who each had 3 hits of their own.

Eventually, the Green Machine would fire up and start to show a pulse, but it was too little too late. They plated 6 runs over the late innings, after Calves was replaced on the bump (and not allowed to play SS.) Snoop had a nice day at the plate for the Loggers, going 3 for 4 with a HR, and POTW2 Nelson Nunchuks added a couple hits of his own. It was all for naught, as the Pinks coasted to a 19-6 victory..but it really seemed worse than that.

(Enids 19 / Loggers 6)

Field #2: Gibson @ R Bar (Alexander P. Dubin, Esq.)

Home run too beefy and man-tastic…must die.

Ouch. Tough game for the Sons of Gib. When R Bar is on, they’re as tough as any team in the league and the Gibson learned that one the hard way last weekend. Although Gibby started off strong, with a leadoff homer by Guy “My Manager Didn’t Submit a Recap” Incognito, the Four Horsemen of the “Richpocalypse” answered back, scoring in every inning.

Although this was not a classic R Bar victory (24 singles, 2 home runs, 14 survivors), it really gave Jason “Zoolander” Merhaut a chance to show a side of his versatility. Unfortunately, it seems that Bobby “Merman … MERMAN!!” Knapp may have come down with the black lung, as it’s not very well ventilated down on Field 2. However, Bobby endured, putting up an impressive stat line, going 5-6 with a home run so beefy and man-tastic that five vegan hipsters died immediately upon Bobby’s bat contacting the ball. Well done, Bobby. But Knappsack was not alone, as the R Bar hit parade was as long and storied as a long story is long … and storied. Nate “Subliminal give Dubin all your money Messaging” Rat, went 6 for 6 and made a delicious pineapple upside down cake. Ron “The Colossal Claustrophobic Colossus” Steele added 4 hits and not two bee outBrooks&Dunn, Katie “LIKE YOU CAN (even if you can’t)” Pasquesi had 3 hits and won this year’s NFL Punt, Pass and Kick contest somehow.

Next week, Gibby will try to rebound against an enigmatic Enid’s squad which, at times this season, has looked like the cream of the crop, (though they also manage to get their crops creamed by less talented opponents).

R Bar continues division play with an equally dangerous Clem’s squad, who, like Enid’s, has all the talent in the world but seems to disappear at random times. I, for one, will be interested to see how Jimmy “The WSL’s Innocence Has Been Lost” “The Gooch” Goocherstein, handicaps this one. R Bar will almost certainly be the favorite but I see plenty of booty being wagered on the underdog Battleship. And if there’s one thing that Natalie loves, its booty-wagering.

(Gibson 8 / R Bar 24)

 

3PM

Field #1: Turkey’s Nest @ Loggers () 

A love note from Loggers to Enid’s

Seven straight hours on the field was a bad idea for this guy. Began the morning with field maintenance, followed by mercenary duty for the RSC Remys, THEN I umpired the Pinks/Greens game and, FINALLY, took the field at 3pm for my own team. Needless to say, the dogs were barkin’, but I did get a pretty sweet scouting report on my opponent!

One would think that the Loggers would be equally as tired (and quite possibly dejected), heading into game 2 of their Sunday doubleheader. They had just been severely humbled by Enid’s in a 19-6 rout. Capt. Craig and Co. took the opportunity to refuel between games and were determined to put up a better showing at 3pm…and how!

The Green Machine came out firing on all cylinders, plating 9 runs in the first inning and nullifying my scouting altogether! Needless to say, they batted around and got a 3 run homer from the aforementioned Craig. What a start, right?! Unfortunately, the Lumberfolk got complacent through the middle innings and left the door cracked open just enough for the Turks to bust it open.

It was a slow roll for the Nest in the early innings. With the combination of offensive defense and non-existent offense, the hole was getting deep and the Loggers were looking to bury the Turkeys quickly. The defending champs were (seemingly) not phased and accepted the challenge. It began with 5 runs in the 4th, capped by Motown driving in 2 of his 5 RBIs on the day. Once the seal was broken, the Turks seemed to put up runs in every inning. Chuck, Mitch, Karl, Glenn and Jordisco led the way with a bunch of hits each, while John Louis got the game ball for his amazing courtesy-running abilities! DB homered, to support his gritty effort on the bump, and Tri$h was straight money at the plate all game! 19 runs later, the Nest took a 6 run lead into the last inning.

The Loggers would rally in the 9th on a Jeff X line drive blast that barely cleared that little tree in left field (aka THAT FUCKING TREE). Despite bringing the winning run to the plate, after a couple walks, the Turks ended the game clinging to a 2 run victory. Jay Mort, Snoop, “Rowdy” Tony and Jake all had 3+ hits and multiple RBIs in the loss.

The Nest moves to 10-5 on the year and clinched the Fashion South division title with the win. They will face off with the (1-game winning streak) Runaways next weekend. The Loggers look to rebound Sunday against AT United, who can’t seem to decide if they are good or not.

(Turkey’s Nest 19 / Loggers 17)

 

5PM

Field #1: Berry Park @ 3 Kings (Shortz)

Before the game’s start, Coach Winnie lured his team over to a Yeti Cake brought out to the field for our dearly departing, sporting a shiner Annie, only to tell his team “Cake is for winners, so go out there and win!”

In the upset of the day The Yetis pulled out a ‘W’, but it was overshadowed by McCarren Park becoming the set of Cops: WSL Edition.

Toolan was a star on the field in more ways than one. Not only did he go 4-5 but he also beat a piss ticket in time for his AB (after the po-po saw Nick Tomeo sauntering their way).

The cops would circle back a number of times, with Tomeo shouting to the field, “Put your dicks away, the cops are back!”

It was indeed open season on open containers in the park, but the WSL is more than skilled at hiding evidence. Hogan (who was gracefully in the home stretch of his 11-7 shift) hid his beers in the large pockets of his WHALING pants because, “There’s 5-0 in this bitch”.

Sorry- the game. It was close early on, but the Yetis slowly pulled away largely in part to Joey Pizza hitting 2 3-run moonshots for a total of 6 RBIs on the day, only to be momentarily flustered when Jesus Christ fell off his neck. But his team rallied together to form a search party in left field (aka “Operation: In search of Jesus Christ”). Steve “Turbo” Lynch also helped to give Annie a winning sendoff going 5 for 5, scoring thrice with 2 RBIs.

3Kings were uncharacteristically flat, perhaps they got all tuckered out heckling the Turkey’s Nest game. The hitting efforts of Thomas Santoro, Denis Bramley, and Joe Tomeo (each with a HR) and Coaching efforts of Joe’s Bro trying in vain to pump up his team by bellowing, “LET’S FUCKING GO!” only to be answered by the drunken crowd “Where’ you’re going?”, “Can we come too?” , wasn’t enough to crush the late-season juggernauts.

(Berry Park 18 / 3 Kings 11)

Field #2: Turkey’s Teachers @ The Bedford (Alexander P. Dubin, Esq.)

Foldable Bikes Quarterly centerfold.

Entering a potential trap game against a sneakily upgraded Teachers squad, the Bruncholas managed a solid 14-4 W this past Sunday.

For the Educators, leadoff hitter, Andres “What Would be The Plural of My First Name?” Rodriguez had a big day, going 4-4 with an RBI, while second baseman, Avi “.jpeg” Linden went 2-3 with some stellar play in the field, and he just happens to be one hell of a model American!

On the other side of the dirt, the Bedford was playing shorthanded for the second straight week, clapping it up pregame without the likes of Doug “Quailman” Hogan, Anthony “The War of 1812” Molica, DJ “I’m Going to Make ‘Fetch’ Happen” Dino and second base stalwart, and manager Morgan “I Masturbated In The Theater During The Opening of Finding Nemo” Oughton. Despite this personnel obstacle, the Brunchers pulled together and rode its 11 man roster to victory lane, behind the leadership of interim manager, top-of-the-lineup superstar and my personal hero, Mike “Shouldn’t Ireland Be Better at Soccer?” O’Malley, and pitching sensation/oppo-taco home run GOD, Kevin “Kane Is Able”. Asked after the game about his return to the helm, O’Malley looked up from behind the latest issue of Foldable Bikes Quarterly, and remarked, “You know me, Dubs. I’m a St. Lunatic. And like the other great Lunatics before me, including Stan Musial, Ozzie Smith, Joseph Pulitzer, Maya Angelou, Branch Rickey, Rick Branchey, Bran Cereal, Scott Bakula, Harry Caray, Cedric The Entertainer, John Louis, Nelly, Sonny Liston, “Cowboy” Bob Orton, Neil Rackers, Kimora Lee Simmons, Trey Wingo, Brother Clyde X and of course, St. Louis’ most famous resident, 2000 Scripps National Spelling Bee Champion (later stripped of his title for use of PEDs) George “That One Non-Indian Kid That Won the Scripps National Spelling Bee” Thampy, I … wait … what were we talking about?”

Wait … What were we talking about?’ indeed.

(Turkey’s Teachers 5 / The Bedford 14)

  

WSL Player of the Week is…Annie D!!!

You should see the other guy.

SPEEECH!!!

Annie: Thank you, WSL, for this great honor. I have already pre-ordered a laminated print out of this website to place over my fireplace for all time.

1. You sported a bit of a shiner for your last game with the WSL. Wha happen?

Annie: I ran into a band of facepainted, pinstripe-wearing baseball hooligans on my way back to Coney Island from a big gathering in the Bronx…Really McCarren wanted to give me a parting gift with one of her signature freak hops. Thankfully my sister was visiting to fill in for me on Saturday!

2. Will your liver be thanking you for escaping to Indiana?

Annie: Most likely, but the rest of my body is preparing for an increase in corn, funnel cake, and BBQ consumption.

3. Tell us your favorite play you made during your tenure with the Yetis?

Annie: I was pretty excited to hit a double against my old team (thanks Kevin Kane for the charity meatball!), but really all of my favorite Yeti plays involved hitting the high note in the Star-Spangled Banner during pregame.

4. Give us a fun fact about art history to ease the pain of you bailing on the league.

Annie: I discovered a really great Futurist-inspired, baseball-themed watercolor at the new Whitney Museum a few weeks ago. James Daugherty, Three Base Hit (1914). Everyone should go to the new building – it’s fantastic. Also go to all the art museums in the city. It’s amazing to have so much where you live – I’m going to miss it.

5. What will you miss the most about the WSL (besides The Shortz)?

Annie: I’m going to miss everyone I’ve gotten to know over the past five years. I loved that all the teams hung out with each other and made one big community. I looked forward to playing every weekend 🙂 I am not, however, going to miss hitting Clinchers. Or that tree in left field.

 

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