Joe Godsy Division
Parkview Scorpions 6 1 .857 115 48
McCarren Hotel Titans 6 1 .857 96 60
St. Anselm 3 3 .500 73 53
Turkey's Nest AT 2 5 .286 50 64
Parkview Suzies 5 1 .833 55 42
The Bedford Yetis 3 4 .429 62 99
Pete's Candy Store 2 5 .286 73 77
Turkey's Nest 0 7 .000 20 101
Joe Fashion Division
Gibson 6 1 .857 89 44
Roebling Sports Club 5 2 .714 111 70
Clems 3 3 .500 63 56
The Gutter 86ers 1 5 .167 36 89
Kilo Bravo 4 2 .667 55 37
Echo Bravo 4 2 .667 69 44
Loggers 2 5 .286 58 83
Carmine's Bombers 1 6 .143 44 102



Last Week's Results

Week 08 - May 22
Parkview Scorpions0 @ Gibson 0
Loggers0 @ The Bedford Yetis 0
Pete's Candy Store0 @ Echo Bravo 0
Turkey's Nest0 @ Kilo Bravo 0
Carmine's Bombers0 @ Parkview Suzies 0
Turkey's Nest AT0 @ Clems 0
McCarren Hotel Titans0 @ The Gutter 86ers 0
St. Anselm0 @ Roebling Sports Club 0

Week 17 – PREVIEW

Fri, Jul 31, 2015


Let’s get ready for some friendly match ups that half of you will lose!


Field #1: R Bar @ Roebling Sports Club (Shortz)

Just like this, Babkow. They’ll love it!

Unlike last season, these two teams are no longer in the same division which means 50% less meet ups and 100% more opportunity for a high octane clash of the bars that start with R.

The league is well versed in R Bar’s spectacular 10-3 record. And with our less than stellar standings of 6-8 some might call this match up “uneven”. I’m talking to you, Gooch. I make you POTW16 and you put R Bar down to beat us by 10? Déclassé, bro. I dis-respectively disagree, for we are very evenly matched. For starters, I looked up their 3 losses and guess what- we’ve lost to them too which makes us totally equal, right? And the fact that we both like beer… And wear gloves in the field…And something else that I’m just going to keep to myself…once I think of it. You betting folk should mark down a tie for this game.

So what if Bubbs is back to his healthy self on the mound or that D-Lo sanded down her Nailz for more lethal fielding or that there’s a guy named JohnR who averages 37 HRs a game. We got good stuff too.

On the RSC bench, Babkow will once more infuse his wisdom into the line up and pre-game speech to pump up those of us Remys who can get filthy in the radioactive dirt heaps we call McCarren Park. Some notes, Babs- stock the right side of the field and and douse whoever’s in RF with some Gatorade. They’re about to get some serious cardio.

Now that my husband has joined me on the disabled list, we are going to attempt “having other plans” on a Sunday. I know- it’s weird and it’s gross. However, we may or may not be checking in at dusk to see which one(s) of you can complete the “11-7 shift”. Impress us.

Field #2: Enids @ Crown Vic 86ers (Alexander P. Dubin, Esq.)

Guys, WAKE UP! Dubin is hearing voices again!

WSL Game of The Week Alert! Two first place teams. A combined record of 19-7. Wally is really, really ridiculously good-looking. And most importantly, I had a dream last week in which Drew was giving QSMASH a sponge bath on a tennis court outside the Taj Mahal, while Czr played Pink Floyd tunes on a bright yellow didgeridoo. So now you can see why this is such an intriguing match-up and also why it’s so important that Obamacare covers psychiatric treatment.

Moving on … Enid’s is enjoying another successful regular season but the good citizens of Wally’s World are no longer appeased by regular season victories; they want the belt. Well this is exactly the type of match-up that tests a team’s metal. The 86ers are arguably the most improved team in the WSL and legit threats in the Godsy Not-North Division. Nuttah Buttah went and stacked up his squad and they are primed for a long, deep, passionate, sweaty post season run…and then maybe a cigarette. I spoke to Enid’s second basefemale, Jen Ten Hughes Vincitore Amber Thiessen, who had this to say: “I have a lot of respect for them. They work hard, they’re disciplined and they get results in the field.” I later learned that JTHVAT thought we were talking about the Amish. My bad. For her part, 86ers infield standout and 1993 Eastern Missouri Valley Stratego Champion, MalVP, recognizes that this game could really be a turning point in the season for both teams, stating, “This game could really be a turning point in the season for both teams.” Well said, Mal.

Will Pink Pride reign over McCarren Park? Can the 86ers flatten the Camels’ humps? Will my Billy the Big Mouth Bass ever stop ordering me to kill drifters? We’ll find out Sunday … because that’s when drifters wander into the park.

Field #1: Clemerica @ Impose () 

Somebody call an ambulance! The Battleship is facing off with Impose this Sunday and nobody is safe!

The injury bug has really roughed up the Clemericans of late. The almighty, Bandana’d Chinger went down with a lacerated hand a few weeks back and then Kelly collapsed in a heap with some back issues last Sunday. While they still have a solid squad, they have lost 3 of their last 4 games. It won’t get any easier on Sunday, when they face off with defensive juggernaut, Impose.

The Mendozas are likely reeling from an extra-innings loss to the Pinks last weekend. Adding injury to insult, 3B Jeff Carroll left the field in a sling after diving to knock down a potential extra base hit late in that game. Hope he’s ok, but I highly doubt we’ll see him on the field soon.

Despite the loss, Impose has a 7-2 stretch going and are poised to make some noise come playoff time. I’m sure Pete will work some magic and shuffle the defense around to overcome the hardships. In the other dugout, Breeze will be looking to do the same. His squad has fallen to 7-7 and are sinking down the standings like *ahem* a Battleship taking in water.

Field #2: Black Betty @ Gibson (Homer Wadsworth)

“In my day, they didn’t have balls and strikes.”

Black Betty faces off against a newly tooled and amped Gibson team that’s been putting up some decent numbers these days as they attract some young talent and grow into something new. As Black Betty knows nothing about actual youth (besides LG4, JB$, and AB & Vi) and instead rely solely on cagey veteranism (no shit!?! that’s a word!?!) as well as keeping Jake “LongHair” Levine on the team, they continue to put up good numbers year after year. Or so I’ve been told.

But wait! If you look or care, last year the Betty only beat the Gibbers 11-9 and it was tied after 7 innings! This was with the formerly old newer version Gibson team that has lost\gained players at a Spike Hill rate since then. Also….John ‘GRambo’ is back in red\white hoping to get himself acclimated with WTF has been going on in our league and who the fuck is who. I don’t blame him as the league has added some super good players on teams that historically struggle getting them….one of them being his own squad! Don’t look too far….look on the hill! It’s The Warden roundin’ up playas with Adrian keeping them in line and upbeat.

H and the Bettys are hoping to rebound from their roller coaster mid-season after dropping one to Clem’s, beating Enid’s and then coming up short last week against R Bar, it only makes sense they think they got a chance this weekend. With a heavy quotient of lefty and righty power, expect the Black & Gold to come out strong and look for an early lead and any rando, cold, unopened beers under the bench for all 9 innings. 

Field #1: The Runaways @ 3 Kings (Homer Wadsworth)

Joan is PISSED at Mr. Gooch.

A few weeks ago, I got all prescient and predicted that the Nest might come out loosey goosey against the Kings and sure enough, they got beat like a blacktop guy getting chased down Driggs. I also predicted the Nest would come out swinging after the loss and that’s just what they did against a tough Bedford squad in a game where neither team scored more than 10 runs. I am a-smart! Meanwhile, the Kings came out uncharacteristically flat against ATU and people are still wondering how GBlack pulled the miracle of miracle bets off and then somehow forgot to actually place said bet. RIGGS!!!

The Kings are back this week against the Runaways and the early story is the Gooch’s spread. I can say, with all honesty, that in the beginning of the season when I took this gig, I’d never say something like: ‘the Gooch’s spread’ in any preview or recap. The only Gooch I know is the one from Diff’rent Strokes who used to beat up on Arnold in those shitty playground city scenes when they got tired of shooting in the penthouse or that perv’s bike shop and the only spread I know is under the AT tent on Sundays.

The spread, BTW, is 20 fuckin’ runs and I think we’re all pretty confused as to what to expect from either team, 3 Kings or the Runaways,when facing that kind of info. Are we looking too deeply into the predictions of some dude on the internet who we can only imagine pores over scores on the website in a tattered robe or sits in the park in a tattered robe creepily watching over us as we play? I know neither team really cares about it and Manager Nick would be the first to say: “We just come to play our game. Just let’s go”. Sam, on the other hand, is like: “Oh, great. So now there’s some official jagoff telling us how badly he thinks we’ll lose. Thanks, H!”.

Predictions and previews aside, I think the Kings are gonna come out angry for this one, looking for the ‘next’ team to step into as their opponent and are gonna blast some fireworks up into the face. In the face. The Runaways are tired of getting the beat down this season and will try anything to come up with a big upset. MCLyte from the great northwest even talked some shit in the umpire email chain this week about this game and her team. She did spell out ‘MF’ing’ instead of ‘motherfucking’ which was super cute.

Field #2: The Bedford @ Loggers (Alexander P. Dubin, Esq.)

Coming off a heartbreaking 15-14 loss to the Teachers, the Loggers look to rebound against a Bedford squad seeking someone to punish after a rough defeat of their own to MIKE MCNELIS and the Nest last week. Did I mention MIKE MCNELIS is on the Nest now and was in that game and that I’m mentioning him in my article because MIKE MCNELIS is just as sexy as Mitchell or Shafer or JL? Well I am and HE IS.

While the Forest Fuckers will enter this contest as decided underdogs, let us not forget that Underdog was a cartoon dog superhero and that is pretty awesome. Additionally, they will be looking to build on an impressive offensive performance last week, led by Jake, Tony B, and Jay Mort, all of whom had multiple extra base hits and none of whom have ever accidentally walked in on two dudes servicing each other in a Madison Square Garden bathroom during a not-so-well attended New York Liberty game.

For the Brunchers, this is a test of reboundability. After losing to the defending champs last week, Mo’s Hos need to get their shit together and play like the bottom bitches they are before Mo$ has to pimpslap the lot of ‘em. If leadoff specialist, ‘We Like Mike O’Malley’ and the rest of the crew can get on base in front of Mt. Dougmore and the other big Bedford bats, history shows that runs will be scored and water guns will be fired in glorious, obnoxious celebration.

But if the ex-Hillians get too homer-happy, the Loggers will be more than happy to camp out in deep left field and set down the Brunchers, one after another. At the end of the day, this game may come down to discipline. Will the Bedford stick to the script or will the Loggers steal the show with an explosive surprise ending? Come first pitch, the house will favor Sexy Steve Mina and his Bedford back-up dancers but the Loggers built that house…out of wood.

Field #1: Berry Park @ AT United (Shortz)

ATU’s acid is starting to kick in as they are high off their win to the dethroned Kings, while Yetis are slowly but surely chipping away to bring up their record.

But their nice-guy approach : winning ratio is not to Winnie’s liking, so he and son Steph will be donning more maniacal personas, like Dr. Evil/Mini Me, in order to win their remaining games. I thought they were kidding, but they showed me a prototype for the tank full of Sharks with frickin’ lasers that they plan to put on home plate for any ATU’ers who dare to score. Yikes!

As for ATU, my boy PeteMo is off on a European Vacation. But just before you throw your hands up and deem this game “boring”, my other best friend Nate is allegedly healed and ready to kick some Berry ass!

My take: This game will be less about who wins and more about who has the drunker cooler.

Field #2: Turkey’s Teachers @ Turkey’s Nest () 

Ah, the annual WSL Thanksgiving game! Turkeys to the right, Turkeys to the left. Gobble, gobble.

Those pesky Teachers are working on a 2 game winning streak heading into Sunday. They have managed to out-defend the Runaways and then out-hit the Loggers in those games. Finding ways to win late in the season can make for an interesting first round matchup come playoff time. Look out Godsy division, Haz and the TNT crew are coming for you…but first, they have to worry about the Nest!

Last weekend the Turkey’s Nest earned a big, much-needed win against the Bedford. The bats came alive and the defense tightened up, as the defending champs started to look like…well, the defending champs! Poised for some late season heroics themselves, Coach Jordisco has again entrusted Shafer to hold down the fort while he meanders his way down the west coast.

Parkaritas and Big Buds abound, the battle for Bedford and North 12th commences at 5pm on Sunday. I fully expect some laughs and some good times will also be on tap, but someone will still be drowning their sorrows at the bar afterwards.

This Preview Sponsored by:


The NEW New New Additions


Powered by Facebook Comments