Joe Godsy Division
Parkview Scorpions 7 1 .875 131 61
McCarren Hotel Titans 7 1 .875 110 66
St. Anselm 3 4 .429 76 57
Turkey's Nest AT 2 6 .250 61 82
Parkview Suzies 6 1 .857 71 48
The Bedford Yetis 4 4 .500 73 109
Pete's Candy Store 2 6 .250 81 102
Turkey's Nest 0 8 .000 26 130
Joe Fashion Division
Gibson 6 2 .750 102 60
Roebling Sports Club 6 2 .750 115 73
Clems 4 3 .571 81 67
The Gutter 86ers 1 6 .143 42 103
Kilo Bravo 5 2 .714 84 43
Echo Bravo 5 2 .714 94 52
Loggers 2 6 .250 68 94
Carmine's Bombers 1 7 .125 50 118



Last Week's Results

Week 08 - May 22
Parkview Scorpions16 @ Gibson 13
Loggers10 @ The Bedford Yetis 11
Pete's Candy Store8 @ Echo Bravo 25
Turkey's Nest6 @ Kilo Bravo 29
Carmine's Bombers6 @ Parkview Suzies 16
Turkey's Nest AT11 @ Clems 18
McCarren Hotel Titans14 @ The Gutter 86ers 6
St. Anselm3 @ Roebling Sports Club 4

Week 14- RECAP

Wed, Jul 15, 2015

Oh Sunday. You old so and so.


Field #1: Clemerica @ Black Betty (Homer Wadsworth)

What a long strange day it was.

This past Sunday, the Battleship sailed into the park sans flag (which was spotted later on back at Clem’s resting comfortably in the corner) boarded a capacity Betty cruise ship and made the whole team eat their barbeque after a loss. Pirates can be so confusing!

The night before was Bobby’s birthday celebration, one of the longest, most celebrated WSL BDAYS of the week, so he and his shipmates partied like Jack Sparrow the night before the Betty matchup. With an 11am game, one would hope they got enough sleep? Right? I mean, you are aware you guys aren’t actually pirates? But hey, pirates are bad ass. We’ve all been one for Halloween. It’s the easiest costume after hobo and slutty nurse.

As the teams exited the field after BP, one Betty observer noticed that Clem’s Kelly was actually levitating off the diamond and never once touched the ground for the rest of the game. Who has this much energy for the 11AM game? The Betty’s were about to find out.

Out of 27 outs (MATH!), the Betty bats flew 19 of them into the welcoming leather gloves of Clemericans, never really challenging the outfield or infield. On a day where the dirt was hard packed and the grass freshly trimmed, the Bettyballers thought hitting fly balls into the high blue sky would be totally cool. They were wrong.

The play of the game happened in the middle innings with 2 outs and 2 runners on with the score close.

Principal Pretto launched one of his ‘ruler shots’ to the Field 2 mound when Kwazy Kelly snagged the ball above and behind his head with a “YEEEHAW’ to end the threat and give Clem’s that ‘hair of the dog’ remedy they didn’t really need. Kelly also went 4 for 4 and IMHO deserves some POTW recognition (thank your buddy Bobby for already taking it for Clem’s). Props, dude. May you never come down. Bobby had a HR on his special day and forgot his Clem’s shirt or costume or whatever.

The unknown pitcher on the hill for Clem’s, Mike R, did a great job of getting hitters to pop up and held the top of the Betty lineup to a measly 3 for 16 hitting. The other standout for the Clemericans (besides Katie’s invitation to all Bettyballers to celebrate Bobby’s birth at HQ with meat, slaw and sides) was the bottom of the order who got on base constantly giving the top of the order ample opportunities to knock in runs all the AM.

Both teams retreated back to Clem’s for a shit ton of Breezy’s BBQ, chicken sammiches and full priced drinks for all Betty players.

(Clemerica 12 / Black Betty 7)

Field #2: Impose @ Gibson ()

A proud moment for both gentlemen.

This game had it all! Well, most of it. I guess it was pretty ok, actually. Now that I think about it, it could have been better. In the end (PUNS!), Adrian got a WSL legend to autograph his ass…so who really cares about the game anyway? If you truly do, here is the recap.

I know the Gibson has been in a 6-loss downward spiral of late, but I guess my preview reminder of that fact fell on deaf ears. They showed up ready to play, to the tune of 4 big runs in the 1st inning and another 4 in the 3rd. Impose didn’t let them get too far out in front though, plating 2 of their own in both the 2nd and 3rd innings.

Back to reality, this is the WSL and a 4-run lead is about as safe as a 1985 Yugo. Impose would begin their charge to victory in the 5th, when they tied up the score at 8-8. That train kept rolling in the 7th and 8th innings, when the Mendozas rallied for their final 6 runs. Gibson just never found an adequate response, stranding quite a few base-runners in the late innings.

The ladies of the Gibson came up big in the loss, with Sammy and Steph combining for 5 hits and some solid defense! The Toddfather, the Toddbrother (Dave) and Will all had a bunch of hits, as well. For the Bowlers, it was no surprise to hear that defending WSL POTW, Ben “Weapon” Weber, had 2 hits and 2 RBIs. I suppose it’s also unsurprising that Joe Godsy and Pat Snajder each had 4 hits, while Adam Hoffman went deep…again!

Impose vaults back into a tie for 1st place in the Godsy South with the win (and a Black Betty loss). Holding on to that position will be a challenge, since they’ll face off with that “18 runs per game” R Bar offense next weekend. The Gibbys are staring down a resurgent RSC squad, who took Enid’s to the brink on Sunday. Can’t wait for the Shortz vs Adrian banter!

On a side note, I do hope that Ados has washed his ass by then.

(Impose 14 / Gibson 9)



Field #1: The Runaways @ The Bedford ()


My homegirl, Shortz, predicted pain in last week’s preview for this matchup. That wasn’t exactly a gamble now was it? The Bedford are putting up football numbers and spiking (PUNS!) all opponents in their way lately. The Candy Kids have done nothing of the sort this season, amassing a lone victory in Week 1 and scoring a league-worst 78 runs.

Coach Blues Clues was still on the IR for this game, which probably caused him more mental anguish than the physical ailments he has been dealing with. Per usual, he was very complimentary in his game notes to the lovely ladies in orange, Christine and Maggie. Sam was also quick to point out the efforts of James Skidmore and Chad White, who were both doing their best to keep the game competitive.

In the other dugout, Coach Mo (not Motown) can really just pencil it in however she feels anymore. When former WSL POTW, Doug Hogan, shows up to hit his (yawn) obligatory 3 bombs per Sunday, does it really matter anymore? Not to be out-shined by her superstar, Mo dropped a bomb of her own…and caught a routine fly ball in RF, apparently. On the other hand, there was nothing routine about Dubin’s Greatest American Hero impression in left. The oft-injured Alex popped his shoulder out diving for a missed catch, yet stubbornly remained in the game after. In his next AB, he popped out to shallow left…then his bosom buddy, Phil, tagged up unexpectedly (in a blowout) to earn his pal a SAC fly. That’s true love.

This game was, as predicted, painful…on multiple levels. The Bedford remain a half game back of 3Ks in the Godsy North and improve their record to 9-2 on the season. The Runaways are on the other end of the spectrum, struggling to score runs and still looking for their 2nd victory of the year. This coming Sunday will be a good opportunity, as they face off with the equally offensively-challenged Teachers.

(The Runaways 5 / The Bedford 19)

Field #2: 3 Kings @ Loggers (Shortz)

It’s been ages since I’ve reported on a 3K game! In the past years I’ve written you royal folk beautiful sonnets and songs, so get ready to be underwhelmed!

3 Kings avenged their playoff loss to the Loggers last season (and then some) by totally destroying them in every aspect of the game.

This Royal beatdown was capped with timely hits from “The Kid” Rossi and Joe Tomeo, homeruns from Santoro and Franzese, and superb pitching from Entrepreneur, Sir Denis Bramley.

The game was a bit heated towards my beloved Loggers when heckles got out of hand, or as the Loggers relayed to me, “The game was filled with loose lips, high tempers and general disarray.” Details, you ask? Now I’m certainly not one to gossip buuuuuuut…three words y’all:


Yes, there was quite a stir that occurred with differing theories on Farm to Table versus Paleo versus even the Cotton Ball diet.

Santoro was all like, “Good sirs, ’tis not prudent to eat anything that wasn’t around for a caveman to consume”. And Craig retorted, “Oh heavens no, old chap. I shan’t even dare to set foot in a supermarket with all those pesticides.” (this totally happened…also I now want to eat everything unhealthy).

To settle the debate, I sought out my higher power, Nick Offerman.


Softball and nutrition talk- that’s all that happened.

(3 Kings 22 / Loggers 6)



Field #1: Turkey’s Nest @ Berry Park ()


This, right here, was likely the game of the week in the WSL. Maybe the records going in didn’t show it, but these 2 teams slugged it out for 9 innings on Sunday. Both pitchers were painting the corners and their defenses were absolutely up to the task!

The action was hot and heavy early! The Nest got 2 runs from a Shafer base hit (yeah, not a homer). The Yetis would answer with 2 of their own on a Toolan SAC fly and an RBI single from new-recruit, Dave. The Turkey’s would add 1 in the 2nd and Berry Park would plate 2 more to grab the lead. After another couple of rallies, the Yetis held an 8-4 lead after 5 innings.

Despite their uninspiring start to the season and this game, the Turkey’s Nest are still the defending WSL champs and they would begin to show it late. Their offense combined for 6 runs between the 7th and 8th innings, fueled by a couple of big hits from Weekend at Mitchie’s. They grabbed the lead and held on tight until the end, earning an 11-9 victory.

Zak! was a perfect 5 for 5 in the Yeti loss. Nephew Joey added 4 hits in support of Uncle Pizza, who really pitched his ass off Sunday. Chuck & Korny totaled 6 hits and 4 runs from the top 2 slots of the Nest lineup. Trish reached base 3 times and also scored in the win!

(Turkey’s Nest 11 / Berry Park 9)

Field #2: AT United @ Turkey’s Teachers (Shortz)

These bags should have a warning label.

I rolled up to this game around the 6th inning and could not believe my eyes- The Teachers were TIED with ATU at 12 all. Could this be the day where Shia finally wraps his arms around TNT and whispers, “I’m fucking proud of you fuckers”?

Alas, hell no. The inebriated cousins of the league pulled it out in the end with 9 runs to win the game.

But what happened BEFORE I showed up? Apparently- plenty.

ATU came out swinging at the multiple balls they saw being simultaneously pitched to them, plating 6 in the first from their first 6 batters. But TNT chipped away, scoring in every inning capped with a monster 5th inning were they knocked in 6 runs to tie the game lead by lead off Teacher, Dre.

Meanwhile, Gerald dislocated his shoulder while opening a bag of Cheese Doodles, but was pampered and cared for by the WSL medics 10-ifer, Will Collazo and Nick Marchase.

In his first game back from getting hitched, Lauck played stellar outfield and killed it at the plate. He hit for the cycle and was perfect on the day going 5/5 with 5 RBI’s and 3 runs scored. But more on that later.

As ATU piled on more runs, (also thanks to Dana’s 4/5 day), the Teachers couldn’t cross the plate (minus two runs by Sill and Min). That shows great bump-manship from ATU legend, Jimmy Two’s. Fear not, Teachers. You have the Runs’ next. Now that could actually be anyone’s game.

(AT United 21 / Turkey’s Teachers 14)



Field #1: R Bar @ Crown Vic 86ers (Homer Wadsworth)

Oh Sundays! Sometimes they are just….too….much. You just wanna shoot yourself in the face with fun.

And then this cute girl and her doofus boyfriend approach me because I look softball related and say something like “WHAT IS THIS LEAGUE? THIS IS MUCH COOLER THAN MY DAYTIME ONE THAT PLAYS ON THE EXACT… SAME… FIELD. HOW CAN I GET ON A TEAM?” Such a compliment to our league that also disses other leagues in the same sentence! Yes! It’s nice to see Joe and Jane Public come down to the fields to show some frickin’ respect. People want to be a part of it and that always makes me feel good. Or at least momentarily better than I was feeling earlier which was really hit\miss on Sunday……

This could also be because the two teams playing each other, the Vics vs the Bums, are some storied franchises with some really good players and a decent amount of ink on both sides. Colorful stuff! I could understand why bystanders were a-gawkin’!

The game started out with some spectacular plays from Sam ‘Branch Manager’ Griswold, the Bums RF, who made a few great plays in the first inning to keep the 86ers at bay and later on actually jumped through a tree to catch a ball. It’s like a man versus nature situation and this time, man won. Sammy also went 3 for 5 and had a homer. Bubbs, 4 for 5, was his usually self with the most obligatory triple I’ve ever seen: “Fine. I’ll go to 3rd.” Petey and the 86ers catcher almost fought. Shit was getting real. R Bar scored some early runs and stymied a few rallies with some stellar D. I’m sure the BP helped.

On the other side the Crown Vic lineup was doing all it could to score in consecutive innings but the Bum’s OF just shut-it-down. QSMASH was his usual POTW1 self with a 3 for 4 day at the plate a HR short of the cycle. The 86ers threatened late with 5 runs in the 7th but the Bums put up a bunch in the 9th inning to let all the air of the Crown Vic’s tires.

All of this basically leads to one question: who’s growing faster…..the players or the trees on the field?

(R Bar 19 / Crown Vic 86ers 11)

Field #2: Enids @ Roebling Sports Club (Shortz)

As the Remys assembled for the 5pm slot on the shady side of field 2, I pulled on my beaded fringe jersey (handmade, y’all) and we readied for battle against perpetual semi finalists, Enid’s.

But the attention quickly turned to my fashion competitor, Czr, who not only had his fringe shirt, but also a Sea Captain’s hat. To make matters worse, the ensemble heightened Czr’s playing, as he hit a HR in his first AB, and beautifully cleared the bases with his fringe flying. I could not get out of my seat in time to capture this extraordinary event, nor could I the second time he hit did it in the following inning when his 2nd HR was joined by 7 additional runs by Shirtless Sam, Drew, 10-ifer, 10’s husband, Shirted Sam, Herman, and Erlick.

Down by 10 runs by the 5th inning, and Czr in the lead of our ensemble battle, I thought against donning my back up ensemble around a bench of grumpy dudes. But then, Julie went down with a torn MCL. I knew what I had to do. Well, first- get a girl to sub. I ran over to ATU’s tent yelling, “Which one of you is less drunk?” It was Shelly, the one I heckled just weeks before when we played ATU. But Shelly’s the best, so it was all water under the bridge, and she valiantly subbed in. Then I had to help Julie the only way I knew how- WEAR THE SECOND ENSEMBLE. The bench lit up with “Ooohs” and “Ahhhhs” and “You’re such a weirdo, Shortz”. With the second outfit on, and the Pinks taking Czr out (thanks guys!) we got our mojo going.

The Remys plated 5 runs care of Sandor, Phil, Erik, and Maggie, plus our captain Jake, who hit a necessary HR.With the score now 11-6, our defense tightened up and shut out the Pinks for the next 3 innings. Meanwhile, we tacked on 4 more runs in the 7th, to close the gap to 1 run. 1 run? These guys beat us by 4,000 runs last year and now we were in reach of beating them?

But in the 9th inning we gave up 2 and couldn’t wake up our bats. But to lose by 3 to the mighty Pink Ladies feels almost like a win…almost.

But more importantly, here’s a recap of the ENSEMBLE BATTLE:



(Enids 13 / Roebling Sports Club 10)


WSL Player of the Week…LAUCK BLAKE!!!!




What an honor this is to be selected as player of the week. I’m just glad ATU won the game. It did not occur to me that I had hit for the cycle until Justin went over the stats with us after the game. Honestly, I was with my uncle and his wife and two little girls before the game, and they have a beast of a duel running stroller for their little girls’, and I had to shlep that thing on the subway prior to the game, which I attribute most of my focus and moxie at the plate to balancing and carrying that 60lbs stroller on packed subway cars. It was a good workout.

1. Congrats on your recent nuptials! Does it feel different playing as a married man?

Lauck Blake: It feels a little different. I didn’t think it would feel any different, but it does – for the better.

2. You hit for the cycle on Sunday. Explain yourself!

Lauck Blake: I just hit the ball on a line and ran until i had to stop. Usually, if you hit the ball on a line good things happen, and they did for me Sunday.

3. If you were to race Phrankenstein on N. 11th, who would win?

Lauck Blake: Frank would win in a road race. He has more experience plus his menacing stare down with a cigarette in his mouth would cause me to get nervous, like Clint Eastwood’s stare-downs in Dirty Harry. (If we race to first base it’s a different story, because I usually try to place the ball, so Im out of the box fast. Frank’s approach is usually to mash the ball into the trees in left, so it will take him a little longer out of the box.)

4. Why do you have a first name that sounds like a last name and a last name that sounds like a first name?

Lauck Blake: My first name is a family name from my mother’s side. I think it was a last name a long time ago, so to keep the name in the family that’s what they named me. You can call me by my last name if it helps your brain wrap around the issue of why my name is what it is. Otherwise, just deal with it. Im not changing it.

5. Remember that time we played on the same team, Reel2Reel? Who do you miss the most…besides me?

Lauck Blake: I remember playing for Reel2Reel. My favorite player, besides you Shortz, and all the other cool people on that team, was our barefoot manager Greg. He’s a great and funny dude.

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