Joe Godsy Division
Parkview Scorpions 6 1 .857 115 48
McCarren Hotel Titans 6 1 .857 96 60
St. Anselm 3 3 .500 73 53
Turkey's Nest AT 2 5 .286 50 64
Parkview Suzies 5 1 .833 55 42
The Bedford Yetis 3 4 .429 62 99
Pete's Candy Store 2 5 .286 73 77
Turkey's Nest 0 7 .000 20 101
Joe Fashion Division
Gibson 6 1 .857 89 44
Roebling Sports Club 5 2 .714 111 70
Clems 3 3 .500 63 56
The Gutter 86ers 1 5 .167 36 89
Kilo Bravo 4 2 .667 55 37
Echo Bravo 4 2 .667 69 44
Loggers 2 5 .286 58 83
Carmine's Bombers 1 6 .143 44 102


Week 08 - May 22
11:00 Parkview Scorpions @ Gibson 1
Loggers @ The Bedford Yetis 2
1:00 Pete's Candy Store @ Echo Bravo 1
Turkey's Nest @ Kilo Bravo 2
3:00 Carmine's Bombers @ Parkview Suzies 1
Turkey's Nest AT @ Clems 2
5:00 McCarren Hotel Titans @ The Gutter 86ers 1
St. Anselm @ Roebling Sports Club 2

Last Week's Results

Week 07 - May 15
Pete's Candy Store14 @ Turkey's Nest AT 11
Echo Bravo10 @ Roebling Sports Club 5
Loggers11 @ The Gutter 86ers 6
Carmine's Bombers5 @ Clems 12
Parkview Suzies7 @ McCarren Hotel Titans 17
The Bedford Yetis2 @ Parkview Scorpions 26
Kilo Bravo8 @ Gibson 9
Turkey's Nest0 @ St. Anselm 11

Week 14 – PREVIEW

Fri, Jul 10, 2015

Whether you were in Pizza’s pool or at Rockaway Beach (or doing anything else) this past weekend, we hope you had a festive holiday.


Field #1: Clemerica @ Black Betty (Homer Wadsworth)

Since we had last weekend off from softball for America’s HBD, and no one can stay away from each other for more than 2 weeks, multiple crews of softballers strapped on their fanny packs and headed for the shores of NYC. What better place to cover the Clemerica\Betty game than from the Rockaway boardwalk where Breezy’s sumptuous BBQ fare, not to mention a totally cracked out hot dog, some killer mac’n’cheese and pulled pork sammiches that make you wish you played for the most well fed team in the league.

‘That’s Why I’m’ Breezy was a completely different guy at the boardwalk than he is on the dirty diamond or in the bar after games. We all see the competitive summa’bitch that has no problem staring you down after attacking you with Bud Lights HEAVIES in both hands. It’s offsetting! Instead, we got the kindest bearded man around (and there were a lot) with soft blue eyes, a shining smile, and super fluffy nuzzlin’ beard. If this league ever had a bobble head day, he would be my first vote.

As for softball, Nat-the Bat will be out taking selfies in the Hamptons, so the lady pirates need to step it up this weekend in her absence. With all their new firepower, Clem’s is feeling pretty potent having won 6 of their last 8 games with their biggest win against the Nesters during that stretch.

With new Clemericans Birthday Boy Bobby (all of 22!) and Kelly on board the Battleship is hoping to surprise the Betty, board their ship, and make them walk the plank. Shout out to new daddy-o, DBA! Congrats, man! Where’s the Clemerican baby-tees at?

The other piratey looking team in Black, the Bettys, will be coming out looking for a good win heading into a tough stretch against Clem’s, Enid’s and R Bar. Sunday will no doubt test their sea legs and set them up for a late season cruise. Also expect the Bettys to take Clem’s up on their offer for post-game BBQ back at Battleship headquarters after the game.

Field #2: Impose @ Gibson ()

Oh, the Gibbys. After a promising start to the 2015 WSL season, they have seemingly turned back the clock. They are currently struggling through a 6 game losing streak and got undressed by Three Kings last week to the tune of 20+ runs. Coach Grambo is camped out in the Midwest, so the rest of the squad is looking for someone to take the reins and lead them back to the win column in the standings. Ados? Are you the guy? Restore the balance!

Impose continues to ‘Jon & Palma’ blank every team put in front of them. That stifling defense has recently joined forces with timely offense to help them win 5 of their last 6 games. Unfortunately for the Bowlers, the Betties have not lost since week 5 and maintain a 1 game lead in the Godsy South. Pete and the Mendozas can gain some ground on the Black this Sunday, who will face off with a tough Clemerica squad. 

Field #1: The Runaways @ The Bedford (Shortz)

My prediction.

Those poor Runs. They’ve had such a rough season. And now they have to face the lethal Bedford? That’s just cruel. Like, it makes my stomach turn just thinking about how Sunday will play out…and that has nothing to do with the gnarly breakfast sandwich from Dunkies that I just devoured.

With the exception of 2 games, the Brunchers have been flawless, whereas the Runs have only one win to their new name. Maybe this is that rare week the Bedford have once a season, where they have a depleted roster and play like the rest of us mere mortals. But According to my girl Mo-rida, all her Meaty Meatheads are in.

Best of luck, Runs. And god help us all.

Field #2: 3 Kings @ Loggers ()

It still hurts. The Loggers rose up like goddamned phoenix in the playoffs last season, to crush the hopes and dreams of the Kings. The game went (what seemed like) a million innings and the Lumberfolk came up with a death-blow barrage late to advance to the 2nd round. I was certain that they would take that strong finish and build in it in 2015. Boy, was I wrong. These Loggers are not those Loggers. 2 wins & 8 losses into the 2015 season, I am not sure if they can get it together in time to get another playoff win this year.

Revenge is certainly on the mind of 3Ks this Sunday. They have a really nice season going and look to add to their league-leading 9 wins thus far. The offense is up to its usual high-scoring antics, but the defense has been the difference. The Kings are holding opponents to only 8 runs per game in 2015, which is amongst the league leaders. Seeing as the Loggers are only scoring 8 per game, this could be a betting man’s dream.

No way can Three Kings let the Loggers get up off the ground this weekend. Look for Coach Nick to have the troops riled up and ready to start chopping wood. Fueled by that playoff win, I expect “Rowdy” Tony and his Logger brethren to be up to the task. Let’s get it on! 

Turkey’s Nest @ Berry Park ()

What a fancy match up!Those streaky Turkeys are looking to buck their trend this week against the new-look Yetis. Win 3…lose 3…win 3…lose…1? The word is that spotty attendance and injuries have kept the Nest from looking like a defending champion should. They are floating along at 6-4 on the year and have mostly feasted on losing teams to get there. Lucky for them, Berry Park is another one of those losing teams.

The Yetis are under new management and seem to have played a little better recently. Coach “Pops” has added some talent and looks to get his potentially-potent offense on track before the playoffs. The defense has to pick up the pace, as well, since they are giving up 14 per game. Maybe an increasingly-healthy Baby Boy can spark both? I watched him smash 2 bombs last night in the city…let’s see if he can bring that over to the weekend!

AT United @ Turkey’s Teachers (Shortz)

ATU is looking for some major “redempsh” after they were trounced by the Remys in week 12. Also seeking revenge are my beloved Teachers for losing in weeks 1-12 (minus week 9). Come on Teachers…Shia is watching. He intensely wants you to succeed. He even wrote you a freestyle poem to pump you up.

Shia and the gang have a tough Sunday lined up, but if ATU roofies themselves again, the Teachers just might be able to pull this off. Teachers, I’ve been a big fan of yours for years. I implore you, find some ballers (and no, they do not live in the park reeking of cheap Wódka).

Don’t let the former Allstars distract you with their rumored BBQ. And show me, Shia, and the softball world that you are capable of being winners. WIN! WIN! WIN!

R Bar @ Crown Vic 86ers (Homer Wadsworth)

Don’t stall now, Crown Vic.

This weekend is a big one for the upstart 86ers.

Coming off their big win against the 2014 WSL Champs, the Nest, the Crown Vic are ready to show the league they mean business. Or as one Nester declared to the 86ers as they had their hats handed to them: “I heard you guys were pretty good this year.” Truuuue sto-ray!

R Bar will hear nothing of this as they gear up for battle and hope to restrict the Vics to the parking lot when they meet for the only time this season. There will be no easy laps for Al Buttah’s team and Richie’s Bum lineup could spell doom for the Crown Vic defense. However, last week, the Bums let the Berry stick around for a few before drowning their hopes down the drain behind the 3rd base dugout, so this weekend they’d do better to jump out early and often.

Here’s my take on the game: The 86ers are looking to impress themselves and the rest of the league this weekend but need to come out loose and score early. Their defense has been one of their strengths and they need to make it work for them against a heavy hitting R Bar team. On the other side, Richie will be managing his face off looking for that extra pop in the lineup for the later innings. Consider this the coaching matchup of the week as both teams have the talent and the firepower to make the other team shit the bed way early as they strut into the sunset to their respective watering holes.

Enids @ Roebling Sports Club (Shortz)

When you mix some Ladies with some Remy Martin, you’re gonna get one sloshy game.

Last year, Enid’s beat the ever-living snot out of us in what felt like a 400 degree day. Czr softened the blow by donning the hot pick fringe midriff I bought him for his birthday. It was glorious. This season we’re back at the same field but thankfully at a later time, which will help us avoid burns from the Sun…and from the Pink Ladies.

The 8-2 Pinks are taking no prisoners this season. They even kept their foot on the petal against the embattled Teachers! Well, the Remys will look to cut your gas line this Sunday, so don’t let our 4-7 record fool you…Actually, do let it fool you. We’re like “just the worst” (winky face, Remys), so by all means, phone it in on Sunday. Have that extra mimosa and take that extra hit of cannabis you totally need for medicinal purposes. (See what I’m doing there, Remys- I’m FOOLING them!).

Oh, and to that snappy dresser, Monsieur Calves, I have a surprise for you!

This Sunday.

You and I.


And I’ll be bringing it, Cs. Winner treats loser to a trip to the Meow Parlour.

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