Joe Godsy Division
Parkview Scorpions 6 1 .857 115 48
McCarren Hotel Titans 6 1 .857 96 60
St. Anselm 3 3 .500 73 53
Turkey's Nest AT 2 5 .286 50 64
Parkview Suzies 5 1 .833 55 42
The Bedford Yetis 3 4 .429 62 99
Pete's Candy Store 2 5 .286 73 77
Turkey's Nest 0 7 .000 20 101
Joe Fashion Division
Gibson 6 1 .857 89 44
Roebling Sports Club 5 2 .714 111 70
Clems 3 3 .500 63 56
The Gutter 86ers 1 5 .167 36 89
Kilo Bravo 4 2 .667 55 37
Echo Bravo 4 2 .667 69 44
Loggers 2 5 .286 58 83
Carmine's Bombers 1 6 .143 44 102


Week 08 - May 22
11:00 Parkview Scorpions @ Gibson 1
Loggers @ The Bedford Yetis 2
1:00 Pete's Candy Store @ Echo Bravo 1
Turkey's Nest @ Kilo Bravo 2
3:00 Carmine's Bombers @ Parkview Suzies 1
Turkey's Nest AT @ Clems 2
5:00 McCarren Hotel Titans @ The Gutter 86ers 1
St. Anselm @ Roebling Sports Club 2

Last Week's Results

Week 07 - May 15
Pete's Candy Store14 @ Turkey's Nest AT 11
Echo Bravo10 @ Roebling Sports Club 5
Loggers11 @ The Gutter 86ers 6
Carmine's Bombers5 @ Clems 12
Parkview Suzies7 @ McCarren Hotel Titans 17
The Bedford Yetis2 @ Parkview Scorpions 26
Kilo Bravo8 @ Gibson 9
Turkey's Nest0 @ St. Anselm 11

Week 12 – RECAP

Wed, Jul 1, 2015

 McNelis for President.



Gibson @ 3 Kings ()

Gibson’s “balance” is restored.


The management team from the Gibson completely disappeared on me this week. After a 1000 word onslaught of recap material following their 2014 victory over Three Kings, they blessed me with not one word this week. It’s a little disappointing, after I basically handed them the microphone last season to boast and gloat. Guess it’s time to return the favor?

Despite the somewhat soggy conditions on Sunday morning (and an unsuccessful attempts by a frightened team to get out of their game), the 11am action got underway on time. Thanks to everyone who helped out (Sam, Jake, Vinny, Holland, Francesca, Joey, etc.) with the field maintenance…it was greatly appreciated!

The Gibson came out swinging in the top of the 1st, plating 4 on a flurry of bloopers and muddy mistakes from 3Ks…and that was basically it for the game. The Kings would put up crooked numbers in 6 straight innings and bulldoze the Gibbys by 21 runs. 9 of 11 spots in Coach Nick’s lineup would record 3 or more hits, while every King (and Queen) scored and drove in at least 1 run too! Joe Tomeo was a perfect 5 for 5, with 5 RBIs and a HR. Tommy Kosak and Adam Smilowitz each added 5 RBIs of their own, while Vinny Rossi scored 5 times on 5 hits.

I believe the words from both Grambo and A-Dos last year were, “balance and order restored!” Yeah, sounds about right.

 (Gibson 9 /3 Kings 30)

Clemerica @ The Bedford (Shortz)

Walking off a delicious brunch led me to Field 2 to witness this seemingly steeped in tension game, but it was actually tame and civil, minus a few girly cries of “FUCK THIS SHIT” from the Clem’s bench. Apparently it was in reference to the weather but it was barely misting. Talk to me when you’ve played in a downpour or in the snow…pussies.

All the drama was left on Facebook, where Stryker joked that the 11am games were cancelled (uncool, man) which resulted in a many angry players and a even death threat (extremely uncool…also are you fucking kidding!?!).

The Bedford plated early and often whereas Clem’s couldn’t manage to score until the 7th.

In the winner’s circle, Metzl took over the heroic 9 spot duties in the hopes of scoring that promised homerun. But going only 3/4 with a double makes you A SECOND CLASS BEDFORD CITIZEN.

It was Doug’s 1st HR-less game for The Bedford, who instead opted to go 4/4 with two doubles ripped down 3B line and into no man’s land of mud. That also makes you A SECOND CLASS BEDFORD CITIZEN. 

And in addition to O’Malley 4/3 day, (accompanied by his trademark base running form), he was actually allowed to play the field (and I don’t mean catcher). Well done, sir….but I still pronounce you A SECOND CLASS BEDFORD CITIZEN.

You will all bow to your overlord, Anthony, who broke the sound barrier with his monster bomb to Left for the only HR of the game, going 3/4 with 2 RBIs. Silver lining, fellas- you’d also be bowing down to Alex if the damp trees of LF hadn’t robbed him of HR glory. Thank the trees…PEASANTS!

Clem’s only sent in that they lost and DBA’s baby is due, but luckily I took a snap of their book…which told me just as little. They have a baby rally in the 8th platting 2 runs, including a HR from Hall & Oates lover Kelly, (although but the blood curdling cheers and battle cries would suggest they scored way more…or were sacrificing a goat).

Post-match, the Clemericans (and a few Bedfordians) marched their barely wet gear over to Clem’s for some “Clemonades- does a softball body good”.

(Clemerica 3 /The Bedford 13)



AT United @ Roebling Sports Club (Shortz)

Since I was already at the park, I rolled over to the other field to cheer my Remys on for a few innings before the NYCFC game (yes, they’re a real team!).

The mist had stopped but the ground was still damp, making for a day of infield pop ups early on. To help the cause, I unleashed some psychological warfare on the other team. For instance, when my fellow Robot Shelly came up to bat, I exclaimed, “Look out for this one- she is very good. And she played for Harvard. I’m not talking about Harvard Extension but Real Harvard.” She was then walked, so it was safe to say my efforts backfired.

Sadly, my faith in McNelis to retrieve ATU’s scorebook was misplaced. But I got spies…who were all roofied by the extra-strong ATU Juice. Losing games AND Kidneys- your new tag line, ATU.

Aside from the blaring sounds of megaphones and vuvuzelas (told you Vinnie had more), I do remember Daniel, trying desperately not to foul out, hitting a laser up the right middle. Against any other team, it would’ve been a hit, but Julie made the defensive play of the game with a spectacular jumping/diving catch and got completely filthy in the process (worth it).

But as excited as I was at the prospect of RSC ‘Margarita’ Sean suggesting he force his employees to come to the field and act as our chairs, I had to go. Now, usually my absence results in a cataclysmic downfall for the Remys, especially when it coincides with personnel switches that included Justin to pitch, Clich to 2nd and Julie to 1st. But those changes sounded dope, so off I went to watch another team lose. Besides, ATU had a 4-run lead after Nick hit an opposite field bomb and I had seen enough. But then the RSC bats came alive, making up for the Remy infield fly parade of innings past.

Ope led off with a liner and Justin ‘look out for the trees’ followed with a 2-run HR. Then Shawn Policy and Babkow each doubled, followed by liners from Julie and Halling ‘favorite player’ to tie the game. Then the bossman, RSC Sean, sauntered his hungover butt up to the plate and crushed a 3-run HR bomb over Danger Dan’s head to put us ahead. We added an insurance run in the 8th and shut them down offensively behind new relief pitcher Justin.

The game apparently ended on some weird play, doubling a guy off first on a pop-fly when he didn’t tag up or something. Sorry, Brahs.

(AT United 5/ Roebling Sports Club 9)

Turkey’s Nest @ Crown Vic 86ers (Homer Wadsworth)

Last summer, following the completion of Darth Shafers Death Star and after just having won a WSFL ‘chip, the Imperial Turkey’s Nest failed to acquire the rights to nerf herder and softball phenom Jimmy Quiggswalker and the battle for softball superiority was set for another day…..

Chasing the 86er rebels across the WSL galaxy to track down their whereabouts and get a handle on their superstar player would not be easy as expected as MalVPrincess and Obi Buttah Kenobi hustle to keep their rebel base secure while planning an attack on the Nest.

As the renegade Qewbacca (POTW1) and HAndre Solo head for McCarren Park City, with the rebel traitor KarLando Calrissian (POTW10) setting a trap for them, the fate of the 86er success was in question as the Imperial Nesters waited, hoping for a chance to cut off the rebels and nip their revolt in the bud, man.

That didn’t happen this weekend as the rebel 86ers cruised to a convincing win and blew up the Nest Star with solid defense and constant firepower. Without their championship pitcher Jedi Master DB on the hill the Imperial Nest was forced to find a replacement and not compromise their formidable defense. With Joda sagely looking on making nonsensical statements about softball, the Nest couldn’t find hyperspace and was left in the dust by the Crown Millennium. As Lord Admiral JL was quoted after the game……”Striking us down will only make us stronger.”

Whoa! Creepy! We all say that after a tough loss though, don’t we?

(Turkey’s Nest / Crown Vic 86ers )



Enids @ Turkey’s Teachers ()

My colleague, Homer Wadsworth, couldn’t bring himself to recount the details of this Sunday massacre. He requested that I switch recaps with him, so his conscious can remain somewhat clean…even though he kept the equally lopsided Betty/Loggers assignment. Hmmm?

I think it’s time for Haz to have a Pedro Cerrano moment. Say it with me, “Fuck You Jobu, I do it myself!” Not that Enid’s was throwing any curveballs on Sunday, but the results were the same. No amount of rum or buckets of chicken seem to help out the TNT lineup this season. They have scored a league-low 67 runs so far, although did get their first win of the year a few weeks ago…so they got that going for them, which is nice.

Enid’s, on the other hand, are having another dominant regular season in 2015. The Pinks are amongst the 5 remaining 2-loss teams in the WSL. Sunday was just business as usual for Coach Dom and his squad. Stacy, looking as lovely as ever, reached base safely in all 5 ABs. Drew and Tommy had back-to-back homers, while Allen continued to pile up the hits.

Will Nunez and Jaime Contreras both had multi-hit games for TNT in the loss. It may be time for Haz to find his inner Lou Brown. He’s got the “Major League” talent, for sure. I’m thinking push-ups for pop-ups ala Willie Mays Hayes or maybe some of those California Penal League spectacles are needed? C’mon man, you’re a teacher…get creative!

(Enids 26 / Turkey’s Teachers 4)

R Bar @ Berry Park (Homer Wadsworth)

Berry Park, fresh off a hot win last week against the Gibson that gave Winston his first “winnie”, faced a shorthanded R Bar team looking for it’s third straight Winston of their own. The game started out with some really cool urban drainage and canal building on the Yeti side with the runoff being redirected to the drain grate behind the 3rd base line of Field 2. For whatever reason, this was extremely entertaining to watch and science classes everywhere would’ve had something to say about it. I did an erosion science project in grade school and I really could’ve used this as one of my examples had smart phones been around in 1987.

Back to softball! The game was actually a pretty tight contest for the first 5 or 6 innings with the score hovering around 4 up until the R Bar woke up and started hitting. Nate ‘Vampire’ was a sweet 4 for 5 and kept his team focused and in the game with Evan killing it in the leadoff spot. Even when R Bar knows their rolling, Nate keeps them on target and seems to always be getting on base keeping his team focused. Without first baseman BKnapp in the lineup,, R Bar went small and manufactured runs the old fashioned way: grounders in the hole and relying on the other team’s errors! Everyone was hitting, it seemed. Jason ‘Tastemaker’ Merhaut also had a nice day at the plate with a few line drives up the middle and into the McCarren swamplands for extra bases.

The Yeti’s had some flashes of brilliance with Steph ‘Baby Grandaddy’s Boy’ making a few stops at 3B and JDeitz making plays at SS. The hitting never materialized for the Yetifolk and soon the RBar juggernaut put up such a lead that there was no coming back.

Next week RBar faces a cocky and braggadocious 86er team who, fresh off a win against the Nest, are looking to make their stamp on the league. It’s like a tractor trailer collision you can’t turn away from.

(R Bar 18 / Berry Park 6)



The Runaways @ Impose (Shortz)

You had one job, Impose- to let the Runs feel the relief of winning a game. Now I’m glad I lied about making you Chocolate Banana Bread.

The Runs didn’t just lie over and die in this one. They brought a lot more firepower (and fireballs) than Impose expected and the game was close the whole way.

Impose’s “weapon”, Ben Weber got the party started in the 2nd by driving in one of the two runs plated. Their next inning would be more of a Cherry Bomb on the Runs’ resolve when they scored 5, with consecutive hits from Adam Hoffman, Christian Van Halen, Billy Reilly, Chad Ostrom, and Jon Blank and another RBI from Ben! Hmmm, A lot of Ben talk. Are you trying to get him crowned as POTW or something?

Even with Impose leading 8-2, Pete’s kept firing back. Candymen Aaron and Jake kept the offensive (orange) juices flowing with some impressive bombs, and veteran candy ladies Christine (who also had her best game of the season in the field) and Katrina who came out of retirement after two ACL surgeries to drive in a run.

Sam played through the abdominal pain to sub in on the mound. Mike, Chad and James did their best to hold the Imposers score. But too many fielding errors from other Runaways and Impose’s defense put out their orangier fire, and they were once more on the losing end of Sunday. I did see some Runaways at the Gibson later that night and they were in good spirits and buying good spirits…for anyone with a pulse.

(The Runaways 9 / Impose 11)

Loggers @ Black Betty (Homer Wadsworth)

Eventually, the clouds cleared on Sunday and there were a few softball teams who didn’t fall for internet hoaxes who got some good softball time in on the field. The Loggers were looking for vengeance win after getting bounced from the ball last season and the Betty were hoping to add to their win streak before their schedule heats up.

The game got started without BP because this is news when it happens in the WSL. That said… I’ve been told by more than a few people, the difference about our league and other less cool ones is that we have mandatory (weather/time permitting) BP that allows everyone a few cuts and some time in their position getting warmed up. It’s true! Other leagues just throw you on the field and get you off as fast as possible to get the other games started to make that money. Ter-ree-blay.

The Loggers TonyB was still on his honeymoon, presumably, and the pitcher they had last weekend couldn’t make it giving Nelson ‘You Can Run But You Can’t Glide’ Nunez his first start on the hill. After settling down, Nelson looked up to see the Betty were winning. A few too many walks to the Bettyballers cost the Loggers early. He did his best to keep his squad in the game by coming a hit or two shy of the cycle. In Black, The Honorable JB$ was on the bump working his mo’money magic retiring Logger after Logger, keeping their tree spirits down with a coupla 1-2-3 innings. Principal Pretto kept up his torrid hitting streak and was constantly modeling his way around the bases scoring runs and scrounging for bud heavys from the Camarra cooler.

The other fun event for the Betty was the arrival of some Betty old timers and former champs…CI “Don’t Touch My Hands” and Bud “The Panasonic”, former owner of the bar Black Betty and a true gentleman. The whole gang was out for the Betty plus a shit ton of kids so the party was on as the sun peeked out and softball Sunday came to a close.

(Loggers 2 / Black Betty 16)


WSL Player of the Week is…Ben Weber!



Ben Weber: Wow!! In accepting this honor I know I should be humble and respectful, but fuck that. What took you so long? I’ve been playing for arena rock/mendoza line/brooklyn bowl/impose for 12 or 13 years (can’t remember for sure) and it’s about time I get some recognition. It’s great that all the off-season training paid off.

I kid, of course. I don’t train. And I am truly honored to be the WSL Player of the Week. When Pete told me I was in the running, I figured that he was just messing with me. Big shoutouts to the Impose team and the people running WSL, especially the grounds crew. If it weren’t for the WSL I’d probably be a shut in.

1. You’ve been in the league for 400 years. How do you think the WSL of today compares to the WSL of yesteryear?

Ben Weber: Everyone knows that the league has become more competitive, but has anyone noticed that fewer people walk across the fields during the games? One thing that hasn’t changed is that the people on Impose still really like each other and hang out, and there’s still a real camaraderie between most all the teams. It’s a great league.

2. What would you say is your personal softball style?

Ben Weber: I’m all about getting on base. Single up the middle. Single opposite field. Single down and hard. I call it “Anti-Godsy”.

3. Your team calls you “the weapon”. Are you a strategic defensive weapon or an offensive juggernaut type?

Ben Weber: Actually, it’s just “Weapon”. I’m whatever the team needs me to be. Toolan calls me Ben “Murder,” and I wish that had stuck. I think it would be worth a couple extra hits because it’s pretty intimidating.

4. It’s noted that your hat falls off…a lot. Do you confirm or deny putting weights in your hat (which may be against WSL rules)?

Ben Weber: Absolutely true and my hat still keeps falling off.

5. If you were a can of soup, what kind of soup would you be and why?

Ben Weber: I’d be Matzo Ball Soup because I’m the “cure all”…And I’m a Jew.


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