Standings

Joe Godsy Division
NORTH W L PCT RF RA
Turkey's Nest 7 5 .583 118 117
Spike Hill 7 5 .583 143 145
Roebling Sports Club 6 6 .500 130 113
AT All-Stars 3 9 .250 101 133
 
SOUTH W L PCT RF RA
Gibson 9 3 .750 147 108
St. Anselm 7 5 .583 114 89
R Bar 5 8 .385 127 190
A Bar Runaways 3 10 .231 80 136
 
Joe Fashion Division
NORTH W L PCT RF RA
The Bedford Yetis 8 5 .615 144 144
Clems 7 5 .583 125 117
The Gutter 86ers 5 8 .385 153 158
Loggers 5 8 .385 119 133
 
SOUTH W L PCT RF RA
3 Kings 11 1 .917 220 76
Kilo Bravo 8 4 .667 150 119
Parkview Scorpions 8 5 .615 149 116
Turkey's Teachers 0 12 .000 92 218

Schedule

Week 14 - Jul 22
11:00 St. Anselm @ The Bedford Yetis 1
Parkview Scorpions @ AT All-Stars 2
1:00 Turkey's Teachers @ Turkey's Nest 2
3:00 Clems @ R Bar 1
The Gutter 86ers @ Gibson 2
5:00 A Bar Runaways @ Loggers 1
Kilo Bravo @ Roebling Sports Club 2

Last Week's Results

Week 13 - Jul 15
WSL Women's League0 @ WSL Women's League 0
Loggers13 @ R Bar 7
Clems3 @ St. Anselm 8
A Bar Runaways6 @ The Gutter 86ers 4
The Bedford Yetis3 @ Gibson 10
Turkey's Teachers7 @ AT All-Stars 14
A Bar Runaways9 @ Roebling Sports Club 6
Kilo Bravo15 @ Spike Hill 16
Parkview Scorpions4 @ Turkey's Nest 13

Week 2 – PREVIEW

Fri, Apr 17, 2015

                                                                                      

NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN!

NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN!

NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! 

NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN! NO L TRAIN!

11AM

Field # 1: Black Betty @ Roebling Sports Club (Shortz)

The last time Reelers faced off with their usual WSL nemesis Black Betty, we beat them…for the first time since the invention of the Toaster Strudel. This week, both teams are still nurturing the burns from their respective losses last week, and will be out to sucker punch the first team they see. It’s like when your boss reams you out for not handing in your TPS reports, so you go home and scream at your wife that her soufflé is garbage. Well, guess what, Black Betty- YOUR SOUFFLÉ IS GARBAGE!

IT’S GARBAGE, SUSAN!

In addition to ‘The Chain of Screaming’ approach to dealing with failure, at least for our side, Hogan made us go through some mandatory team building to avoid us going 0-2…

I can only assume that the Bettys are preparing by putting their kids to bed and giving zero fucks about our upcoming game. But come Sunday, the soufflé will be thrown down.

Field # 2: Enids @ Gibson (Shortz)

Enids is feeling calm, cool, and collected after their week 1 win under the new Dom-gime. With the momentum of less than a month until 10-ifer and V’s re-nuptials, the Pinks may have another run at Fashion Division regular season champs. But I wouldn’t get too complacent, Ladies. You don’t want an early season surprise loss like the Clemericans.

Yes, The Gibson has for years been the ‘Taco’ of the league, but with a week 1 ‘W’ under their belts, they’re threatening to be a contender this season. Like the Islanders (for you Hockey ‘fan’) a team who for many years has been shitty, but now their fans can come out of hiding, I predict the Gibbers are headed for a Gibson-sance. Make sure you break out those vintage Pour-House T-shirts and tell everyone “you’ve always been a fan”. The last thing anyone wants to be in Williamsburg is “trendy”.

1PM

Field # 1: The Bedford @ Berry Park (Stryker)

Introducing The Park’s official mascot: Halle Berry with no teeth

Lets start with “The Bedford.” I feel like you all owe us another big thank you. Not only did we lose to the Gibson for you, but the Battleship Clemerica takes full credit for sinking The SS Stink Hill. During the off season, the Battleship pillaged O’Malley’s camp and took a couple of their best most respected, most loved players, leaving O’Malley curled up in the fetal position sucking his thumb while searching Craigslist for answers. By the time he awoke from his comatose state, Stink Hill was no more. A new (same) team emerged from the ashes with a new (new) sponsor, and a new (new but also not new) slightly pinker manager. THE BEDFORD! They already seem to be a much less hate-able team, almost likable? Well lets give it a few more weeks.

Now, Berry Park. I know The Parkers are gonna be short handed this week. I know this because I ran into Pizza recently during the week at Clem’s. He asked ME what I was doing there. “It’s like you’re in here all the time!!” Really, Pizza?

Anyway, we were shootin’ the shit and I tell him about this awesome weekend upstate I got planned. I also told him how we may or may not have gotten our game moved to 5pm so that I could make it back for the game and also maximize my time at the lake. His face immediately sunk into sadness and anger. I asked what was wrong and he told me HE also asked to get this weeks game moved to 5pm because pretty much his whole team wasn’t gonna be able to make it. He was denied. Pizza’s gonna be real upset when he reads this next part. I

got my dates wrong and my trip upstate is actually next weekend. Now, I’m not too sure who makes the schedule for the league, but he prob won’t be happy after reading this either. Probably as unhappy as I was after, I suspect this same person, complained to Sam that I was pitching illegally and made him come tell me to change my pitching style.

Annnyywayyy The Bedford will try to attack Berry Park in their Soft Spot, and The Park folk will try to navigate the crowded sidewalks of The Bedford.

Field # 2: 3 Kings @ Turkey’s Teachers ()

As the luck of the draw would have it, the Kings and Teachers are division foes once again in 2015. Principal Haz seems to have retooled his lineup in the off season, with the additions of DJ White Lightning and Mickey White Shorts. The new teammates didn’t seem to make the difference in their lopsided Week 1 loss, but the season is as fresh as the Huckleberry Lemonade with a sprig of mint that they were served over at Berry Park.

The Kings’ new skipper, Nick Price, will also be looking for his first win on Sunday. His squad took The Bedford to the brink in Week 1, but came up 1 short in the bottom of the 9th. 3Ks offense was slow to start in that game, but found their stroke in the late innings. That’s not good news for the TNTs, as the rivalry has been a bit one-sided in recent years. 3Ks have outscored the Teachers to the tune of 68-24 over the past 3 meetings…but new season…clean slate…right?

3PM

Field # 1: Loggers @ AT United (Homer Wadsworth)

As I sat on the field last Sunday, trying my best to be a fake reporter, I noticed some things out at the fields. I saw the Loggers have new jerseys and they’re really nice! That and they come really early to games and camp out and get the nice spot under the tree. As for ATU? They are bringing back the old school. They don’t need ‘trees’ for shade. Not only was the tent back last weekend, but I’m pretty sure Vinnie upgraded the sound system\megaphone and the siren really sounds like cops! There’s also a new puppy on the scene but that would be a recap from last week and not a preview. (unless the pooch is back!).

Both these teams have something to play for besides kicks. The Loggers coming off their biggest postseason ever and the ATU…have Gerald.

After a dismal postseason ending against the Yeti’s last year, the ATU are back and seem to be relying on some old school mojo. Mickey might be on the Teachers now, but Daniel, Nate, Justin and Mr Stubbs are back as the core dudes and want some revenge on the league for being forced to wear yellow and green. After some recent defections from the team, I started to wonder if Gerald was WSL’s Castro. But then I realized I like Wikipedia, but I like G-Black more, so maybe I should stay away from political references for a bit.

The Loggers are looking good in forest green with white pits, and are ready to show the league their 2014 postseason run wasn’t a flash in the pan. Also…they have a worse record than the Gibson now, but so does half the league. Gibson, you princess of Williamsburg…..you kings of New England! Other folks to watch out for on the Loggers are the right fielder Nelson ‘You Can Run but You Can’t Glide’ Nunez and obviously the former D1 3B with pop. Kristin was all over the recap last week so we can only get their hopes up for her performance this weekend.

Could there be an All-Jeans Team candidate on either one of these squads? There will be more than one candidate on the field this Sunday. (Hint: One of Nelson’s friends.) Someone on ATU last week had jorts and I swear they better come again this weekend decked out in the same gear, or I will freak the fuck out and make an even bigger deal about people wearing jeans during sports.

Field # 2: The Runaways @ Turkey’s Nest  (Homer Wadsworth) 

Why not go full denim

This weekend’s matchup includes a heartfelt story about leadership and loyalty…. but let’s be honest…. the real story is Mitch. Dude has been in the last few finals and has won more times than he’s lost and for x2 different teams in consecutive years (if we’re doing stats). He’s a lucky charm in Sambas wrapped in an American flag. (Half of) ‘The Boys of Summer’ are back and they have the jeans to win!

This weekend’s match-up between The Runaways versus the reigning champs will be a better game than you think. Why? The Runaways are feeling refreshed and improved having beat up on the newly decked out Loggers. Sophomores Chad and Mike look like they’re doing well, but only the first 4 innings were sent into WSL Editorial mailbox where it seems they went 0-4. The team scored 0 runs in 4 frames (with a K!) in a game they eventually won 14-11. They also shrunk my browser page down to ant-size proportions trying to read their attachment.

The Turkey’s Nest came back from their hiatus after what I can only imagine was a lot of celebrating in the Hudson Valley, Westchester and\or Arizona. Danny ‘Football’ Shafer didn’t disappoint this weekend and had his threads game on full blast, so one can only imagine what casual athletic wear he will rock this weekend as he trots and hop-steps his way around the bases. Chuck will be Chuck; Korny will be Korny; and JL might bring his daddle (see sponsor below). The Turkey’s haven’t missed a step and continue to represent proper.

I’d also like to take this opportunity to announce my WSL All Jeans Team. This league has the most jeans wearing softball players I’ve ever seen. I’m not hating on it, I get it: you’re Comfy(™) and the jeans are perfect defense against sliding on the petri dish that is our field. I think these folks need to be recognized and this weekend Jordan starts off the list. He’s not only first on the list, but he’s the Captain. Congrats, and may this get you a Lucky Brand sponsorship one day when this is all over. The rest of you know who you are, and will be mentioned even if you stop wearing your dungarees.

5PM

Field # 1: R Bar @ Clemerica (Stryker)

Ahhhhh springtime one of my favorite times of the year. Flowers are blooming, hipsters are cutting their skinny jeans into skinny shorts, Mother’s day is right around the corner, and love….. love is everywhere you look. I couldn’t imagine a better match up for this time of year than The good Battleship facing off against the beautiful folks from R Bar. It’s a real shame that one of these teams will have to leave the field a loser on Sunday.

Perhaps we’ll just get together, call the game a tie, split to get some ice cream, and ride ponies the rest of the afternoon. Something tells me that’s not the way things will go down. Both teams are coming off tough losses to two of the leagues most elite and dangerous teams (yes BOTH of us lost to top tier teams!) in week one. The last game between these two lovers was….completely sportsmanlike, amicable, and not shrouded in deceitful controversy.

Either way, The Battleship will try to get the new deckhands to swab in unison and catch a strong headwind in the mainsail to ride to victory. The Bums will surely start off their day by eating a big plate of Bullets before folding up their California blankets, and hopping on a Cannonball bound for McCarren park. They will surely be breaking out their best and biggest Bindles to try and send the Battleship to the Bone Orchard.

*Bullets— Beans

*California Blankets– newspapers, intended to be used for bedding on a park bench

*Cannonball– A fast train

*Bindle (or bindle stick)– a collection of belongings wrapped in cloth and tied around a stick

*Bone Orchard– Graveyard

Field # 2: Impose @ Crown Vic 86ers ()

Here we have a couple of Week 1 winners facing off for division supremacy! I know it’s week 2, but you sometimes have to scrape for story lines in April!

86ers political dynamo, Mayor Al Bizzy, hit the campaign trail hard this off season and assembled a whole congress of new infielders for the 2015 season.

From the sound of it, Crown Vic’s new carpetbaggers really showed their influence late in the contest. Down 11-1 after 6 innings, 86er (and WSL Player of the Week) Mike Q started stuffing ballots to lead the landslide, comeback victory over Roebling Sporting Club.

The Impose Mendoza Bowl squad endured a back-and-forth battle with the Betties last weekend, earning a 15-12 victory. I don’t know much about the off season comings and goings of the Impose crew, but there were rumors of a Joe Godsy grand slam…which turned out to be the difference in the opening day win. That boy good!

This Week’s Preview Sponsored By:

Toodles! 

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