Standings

Joe Godsy Division
NORTH W L PCT RF RA
Spike Hill 13 6 .684 243 194
Roebling Sports Club 11 8 .579 220 177
Turkey's Nest 9 9 .500 178 199
AT All-Stars 4 14 .222 138 203
 
SOUTH W L PCT RF RA
Gibson 15 4 .789 238 169
St. Anselm 13 6 .684 214 151
R Bar 7 11 .389 175 244
A Bar Runaways 4 14 .222 120 178
 
Joe Fashion Division
NORTH W L PCT RF RA
Clems 13 6 .684 223 171
The Bedford Yetis 10 8 .556 205 207
Loggers 7 11 .389 158 166
The Gutter 86ers 8 11 .421 201 216
 
SOUTH W L PCT RF RA
Kilo Bravo 13 5 .722 233 165
Parkview Scorpions 11 8 .579 215 174
Turkey's Teachers 0 18 .000 132 312
- 1 1 .500 10 17

Schedule

Championship Sunday - Sep 23
11:00 Parkview Scorpions @ Clems 1
Roebling Sports Club @ Spike Hill 2
2:00 North Champion @ South Champion 2

Last Week's Results

Championship Sunday - Sep 23
Parkview Scorpions0 @ Clems 0
Roebling Sports Club0 @ Spike Hill 0
North Champion0 @ South Champion 0

OPENING DAY – RECAP

Wed, Apr 15, 2015

All (or some) of us survived Week 1, featuring blow outs, upsets, and cause for an elderly couple to scurry out of The Gibson annoyed that

“It’s full of loud men in baseball hats”

But before we dive in to the recaps, we’d like to announce a new feature to our weekly postings…

The WSL Player of the Week

Based off of the highlights and hearsay, every week the website crew will choose a player who may have kicked butt in their game. Or maybe kicked butt at being a human being. When selected, you’ll receive 5 tough questions to answer because WE FEEL LIKE IT. So players, start sucking up to your team sources. Team sources, start talking up your players in your highlights.

If you don’t usually read through all the recaps (which we know you don’t) and just skim to your game to see your name in bold letters, we urge you to read everything and get to know all the members of this great league with information you can retain while you’re not 9 beers in. Unless you’re 9 beers in right now, then that’s cool, too.

Regardless, read to the end to find out who your first WSL Player of the Week is!

11AM

Field #1: TheBedford @ 3 Kings ()

This match-up never seems to disappoint! The (new look) Hillfolk and the (same old) Kings seem to go the distance every game in recent years. The 2014 version of this was a 19-18 back-and-forth slugfest that ended with the tying run in scoring position for the Kings in the 9th. With that sort of drama on deck, I fully expected this to be one of the best games on Opening Day!

The day 1 defense was in full effect for the Kings in the top of the 1st and The Bedford really capitalized to the tune of 6 runs, including a 3-run moonshot from that other guy named Hogan. Somewhat in shock, the Kings bats took the first 3 innings off (the stellar defensive efforts of O’Malley, Matt and Phil may have helped) and waited until the 4th to finally respond. Johnny Swayze blasted his own 3-run bomb to highlight a 4 run frame. 3Ks followed that up with 6 in the 6th, to take the lead. Thomas Santoro homered and Billy later cleared the bags with a triple. In typical fashion, the Hillfolk answered back in the top half of the next inning, as Kane and Linda sparked a 4-run rally to take the lead back! Motown added a solo shot and Jose Martinez capped off his 3 RBI day, but the Kings would eventually strand the tying run on 2nd with 1 out in the bottom of the 9th. An eerily familiar ending to another great game!

Congrats to Morgan on her first managerial win of a budding career. She gets to sit on the Iron Throne for now, but 3Ks will be looking to take their rightful place (Kings…duh) in the week 18 rematch. What a start to the WSL season!

(The Bedford 13 / 3 Kings 12)

Field #2: Black Betty @ Impose (Homer Wadsworth)

I knew it was a mistake not to mention Joe Godsy in the preview of this matchup so when Opening Day came and the first person this reporter met on the field was Joe, I had a feeling my oversight might come back to haunt the Bettys.

The namesake for the division has been busy in the off season fixing boilers, returning paint to Home Depot and pushing a lawn mower with inadequate grass storage. In other words, life in the suburbs is good. But Joe still swings a mighty bat and his team followed suit, providing all the extra grass bags Joe would need to put the Betty away.

Top of the first inning saw x2 boring ground outs to the pitcher and a close call at first: an auspicious beginning for Team Black. Impose, on the other hand, came out swinging, scoring runs with a hit parade that ate up the infield. The Bettys rallied and took a lead into the middle innings but the big blow came in the 6th with bases loaded, 2 outs, and Godsy stepping to the plate. With an impressive swing, he went oppo and handcuffed the Betty outfielders for a grand slam, giving Impose and imposing 5 run lead. Sofa king clever.

With a chance to come back in the later innings, the bottom of the Betty lineup did its job by getting on base with big hits by Jody ‘JKC’ Camarra, Lou G, and Chelsey ‘Belz’s Girlfriend’ Fitzgerald, but a smart decoy by the the Impose LF on a Black Window blooper proved a big play that held the runners in check and stymied the rally. The charismatic, salt-and-pepper top of the Betty lineup couldn’t move the runners around and missed a big opportunity they wouldn’t get again. The game ended on a sharp line drive back to the Pitcher Pete, who snagged it and doubled up the runner on first to end the game. Signed, Sealed, Delivered: Impose.

All in all, it was a good start to the season and the excuses about rust should all stop by next weekend. If you fuck up now, your excuses need an environmentally friendly substitution.

(Black Betty 12 / Impose 15)

1PM

Field #1: Berry Park @ Turkey’s Teachers (Homer Wadsworth)

This match-up was exactly as was predicted with some nice Opening Day surprises. Besides the new dude, Austin, everyone else on the Berry Park team is the same except now everyone has Gold Amex cards, open Uber tabs and they drink Bud Lights by the flute.

The Yeti’s came out firing and racked up 7 runs in the first few frames with hits by Zak, Steph, Joey (insert boy-band joke here) and pretty much everyone on the sidelines within 10 feet of the dugout. By the middle innings it looked like they were cruising to a big opening day W. Pizza was the topping on the hill for the Yeti Parkers and after settling his strike zone down, started retiring batters as the Yeti D backed him up play after play. A bang-bang play at the plate caught one Teacher ‘cold’ Turkey as Mia applied the tag and slammed the ball down in the blowout contest. The onslaught continued each inning until they had 2 or 3 dozen runs and everyone started popping beers and enjoying the wonderful spring afternoon. The Yeti lives.

The Teachers came out with some new and some older, yet familiar faces. Mickey returned from his mandated sabbatical and joined the Teachers, hoping to add some levity to the outfield and his mischievous grin back into our sensitive culture. New WSL addition David Martin brought his trophies and post-season experience over from the other field with lights and will throw strikes this year for the Teachers, giving Haz more time to get everyone in the lineup while sipping environmentally friendly Turkey’s beers. If there’s anyone who gets the nature of our league its Haz: he understands people are here to play softball even if playing softball isn’t something they even know how to do.

The umpire in this game gave everyone a charge when he overruled his own call and made the players go back out on the field for one more out. This unprecedented move by the uncommonly judicious umpire is an illustration about how getting the call right without replay is the most important thing here, folks. From what I’m told by other umpires, and confirmed by Jake Backerman, (the legitimately elected Ump of the First Half of 2014) umpiring is no easy task. Umpires easily deserve a raise each year and finally, should consider a union for protection and representation. Backerman, when reached for comment stated that umping in the WSL is only second to being Mitch’s roommate. “You see some shit,” said Jake. “You see it and you’re not sure what you’re looking at, but it’s real and its happening in front of you and you need to make split second decisions. That’s what umpiring is like.”

(Berry Park 23 / Turkey’s Teachers 9)

Field #2: Roebling Sports Club @ Crown Vic 86ers (Shortz)

You’d think if your team sponsor hosted a Softball rager, catering to a sea of filthy softball animals, the party gods would reward us with a ‘W’. But not only did Roebling Sporting Club lose, I also never found out which of Al’s rookies was a D3 Quarterback.

The RSC Reelers started off very strong, tacking on 6 runs in the 1st inning, thanks to Hogan, Shawn, Bedford Sean, Tyler, Clinchy, and Babs all scoring. By the 6th inning we had an 11-1 lead and were about to set ourselves to autopilot when the party gods barfed all over us. The onslaught started with Dylan McKay getting on base, followed by EVERY OTHER PERSON ON THEIR TEAM. Capped with home runs from Quiggs, Mike Q and Soda, they managed to score a whopping (say it like Buttah), ELEVEN runs on us in on inning.

“Da fuck?” We thought, as we had just lost a 10-run lead. We battled back, scoring 3 runs in the 8th thanks to a homer from Jake (who also went 3-4), returning Reeler Babs (3-4 with a McCarren HR) and a fine debut from fall baller, Clinchy (3-4). But then Crown Vic scored more f-ing runs! Mike Q hit a solo blast, then Dylan McKay hit a 3-run McCarren dream killer. Try as we might in the 9th, we couldn’t score enough to overcome the new and improved Crown Vic. See what happens when you jump on signing new talent, Al?

(Roebling Sports Club 15 / Crown Vic 86ers 16)

3PM

Field #1: R Bar @ Enids ()

Judging from the 2014 versions of these two squads, one might expect this game to eclipse the 40 run threshold. Lots of prolific bats (and a few talented defenders) were scattered all over Field 1 at 3pm on Sunday, along with the most domestic partners per capita of any game in WSL history.

The Pinks, as they normally do, came out with guns blazing in the first and pushed across 5 quick runs. R Bar would tack on 2 in each of the next couple frames, to make it a 1 run game…and then the wheels fell off. Enids would put their foot on the gas, fueled by a monstrous 3 homer effort from Tommy T. The rest of the Pinks chipped in too, as 9 of them posted multi-hit days! Wally, Allen and Shirtless all filled up nice stat lines to cap off a epic 21 run salute on Opening Day.

When you’re sliding into first and you think you’re gonna burst

As stated, it was a rough start to the season for Dem Bums. R Bar pitcher Teddy Browne kicked off the offense with a 2 run double, but just couldn’t hold down the Pink bats. The defense didn’t help him out early on, but lovebirds Adam and D-Lo would drop a highlight reel moment on Czr to mow him down trying to stretch out a double. 2014 WSL HR Champ, Bubbs, eventually launched his first (of many) bombs in the top of the 9th, but it was too little and too late.

The final score would end up at 21-8 and Dom earned a decisive win in his managerial debut. The Bums will certainly recover from this loss, but it’s going to sting for a bit. Apparently this was their first double digit loss in over 2 years. They will look to right the ship against the Clemericans in Week 2 action, while Enids get the upstart Gibbys.

(R Bar 8 /Enids 21)

Field #2: Clemerica @ Gibson (Stryker)

YOU’RE ALL WELCOME!! None of you have to worry about being the first team to lose to the Gibson. As Gibber Adrian put it, “New WSL season, New season of “Game of Thrones” and new look Gibson! Year two of the Gibson makeover kicks off on the right foot. No more Mr./Mrs. Nice Gibson (yet we love everyone)”.

As for Clemerica? New season, new players, same old rusty Battleship. The Gibbers held us to 1 run going into the 6th with some great pitching from Sam “The Game” Warden. The Battleship was sinking and sinking fast. Will, playing the Hot corner for the G-men was penetrating us on both ends with some real hard D and drilling balls into all of our holes getting 6 of 7 ribbies on the day. I had to call the NYPD SVU after he was done with us. New SS/Old CF David “Boston Market” went all Kenny Rodgers on us and said “it’s the wood that makes it good”, as he drilled a ball to left. Seemed like a sure home run but thanks to some of the only Clemerican hustle we saw all game, the ball was relayed in and a slow moving Boston and he was tagged out at the plate, allowing only one run to score. The Battleship would pick up a strong headwind in the later innings and try to mount a comeback. Down 7-6 in the top of the ninth with runners on first and second a ball was laced to first base where David “the Glovner” Kovner plucked it out of the air catching Sneaky Pete trying to be sneaky and doubled him up on the 3-6. Rally Killer. Then something weird happened. A couple of firsts in the WSL. The Gibson became the first team in WSL history to celebrate one victory twice after umpire Sam called strike 3 on strike 2. The field cleared, The Gibson celebrated then Sam called everyone back on the field. One more pitch was thrown and Cujo became the first ever player to strike out twice in the same AB. Congrats to the Gibson on a game well played. The Battleship had to call a tug boat to tow us back to Clems where we got very drunk and “played” with puppies.

(Clemerica 6 / Gibson 7)

5PM

Field #1: Turkey’s Nest @ AT United (Stryker)

Since neither of these teams provided any stats you’re not getting a write up. You’re getting a recording of a hotel guest complaining to me about the finer points of piano tuning.

(Turkey’s Nest 20 / AT United 12)

Field #2: Loggers @ The Runaways (Shortz)

Looks like the Runaways really “ran away” (groan) from a losing start with a 3-run victory over the Loggers. But the beginning of this game had a far different outlook. The Loggers wasted no time running up the score, Kristen Pisanelli went 2-4 with a run scored and 1 RBI, Steve Albert went 2-4 with 2RBIs, Newbie Dan Gallager went 2-4 with 3 RBIs, and big charity donor, Craig Heitczman went 2-5 with a 3-run “Homer Wadsworth”.

By the bottom of the sixth inning the Runaways only had 2 hits to rub together and faced a 9-0 deficit. But The Runaways came back with a scoring vengeance (hence, your official new nickname “The Runs”), plating numerous runs in the 6th and 7th innings. I feel like I just wrote about this same exact scenario.

Helping the hitting cause was Chad who went yard and Mike, who hit both a grand slam and a 3-run homer. When the Loggers tried to answer back, the Runs’ defensive wall was too strong to penetrate, thanks to Candyman Ian’s perfect fielding and Sam’s NUMEROUS OFAs. If either team had better penmanship or the ability to properly photograph their scorebook, I’d tell you more on how the end of the game actually played out. Instead, I imagine it went like this:

As each Logger batter approached the batter’s box, Pat would give them the Dikembe Mutombo “no, no, no- not today” shake of his finger, distracting them long enough for Polly to tie their shoe laces together. What’s odd is that it took 3 innings for the Loggers to catch on to the Runs’ trickery. When they complained to umpire ‘Lestat’, he admitted he didn’t notice because he had been distracted by the ending to the romance novel Lady Chatterley’s Lover that he’d been reading all game. The game is officially in protest.

(Loggers 11 / The Runaways 14)

The WSL Player of the Week…Mike Q!!! 

1. How did you feel about your game performance?

Mike Q: I felt really proud of myself and my team for staying positive and keeping a fighting attitude for a full 9 innings. It was a great team effort that won the game and I’m glad I’m part of such an awesome squad.

2. What did you eat before the game?

Mike Q: A special mix of brunch cocktails, empanadas (from the Empanada Guy, of course), Turkeys Nest beers, and a Cuban sandwich.

3. Do you believe in GHOOOOSTS?

Mike Q: Um, yeah, didn’t everybody see the movie “Ghost” and “The Sixth Sense”?

4. If you could compare yourself with any animal, which would it be and why?

Mike Q: I going with Bigfoot. He’s big, strong, and likes getting dirty.

5. If you could clone yourself what other team would you play for?

Mike Q: If I was cloned and had to offer my clone to another team he would be going to Enids so Wally could keep an eye on him. Obviously I don’t trust myself.

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