Standings

Joe Godsy Division
NORTH W L PCT RF RA
Spike Hill 13 6 .684 243 194
Roebling Sports Club 11 8 .579 220 177
Turkey's Nest 9 9 .500 178 199
AT All-Stars 4 14 .222 138 203
 
SOUTH W L PCT RF RA
Gibson 15 4 .789 238 169
St. Anselm 13 6 .684 214 151
R Bar 7 11 .389 175 244
A Bar Runaways 4 14 .222 120 178
 
Joe Fashion Division
NORTH W L PCT RF RA
Clems 13 6 .684 223 171
The Bedford Yetis 10 8 .556 205 207
Loggers 7 11 .389 158 166
The Gutter 86ers 8 11 .421 201 216
 
SOUTH W L PCT RF RA
Kilo Bravo 13 5 .722 233 165
Parkview Scorpions 11 8 .579 215 174
Turkey's Teachers 0 18 .000 132 312
- 1 1 .500 10 17

Schedule

Championship Sunday - Sep 23
11:00 Parkview Scorpions @ Clems 1
Roebling Sports Club @ Spike Hill 2
2:00 North Champion @ South Champion 2

Last Week's Results

Championship Sunday - Sep 23
Parkview Scorpions0 @ Clems 0
Roebling Sports Club0 @ Spike Hill 0
North Champion0 @ South Champion 0

OPENING DAY PREVIEW!!!

Fri, Apr 10, 2015

Welcome to another marvelous season of softball shenanigans. As Winston Churchill once said, “The WSL is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside the Gibson”. For those coming back for more balling, booze and benders, you may be confused to see that many teams have switched sponsors. Here’s a chart to help clarify the who’s what and where.

We have a party tomorrow night, so if you haven’t responded to our FaceBook invite, here’s your chance to do so: https://www.facebook.com/events/1590012141239777/

We’d also like to take a moment to welcome our newest member of the WSL website crew, HOMER WADSWORTH. He’d like to keep his real identity private, so he has disguised himself to make sure you never find out who he really is.

 

11AM

Field #1: The Bedford @ 3 Kings ()

O’Malley…out! McNelis…out! Weakened from multiple seasons of the stress and anguish of managing a co-ed, bar league softball team, both of these skippers succumbed to the pressure and seem to have fallen from grace.

It has been rumored that O’Malley ran off to Paris to take endless blurry pictures of the Eiffel Tower, while  may have been spotted buying razors at a local pharmacy. Perhaps new management can work wonders for these two squads, after both were bounced in the early rounds of the 2014 WSL Playoffs.

Enter two of the more colorful WSL personalities making their managerial debuts on Sunday. The Hillfolk, now of The Bedford…on Bedford, will be led into battle by the ever-prismatic one, Mo, while the Kings will counter with new skipper, Nick Price, who is sure to be in full warpaint. How fitting that we get the battle of the usurpers the same day as the Game of Thrones season premier!

Look for some new faces in the The Bedford lineup this season. During the off-season of their discontent, there may have been a mass-exodus of deserters from the Hill. Despite the loss of manpower, you can never count out their ability to recruit talent. The fact that they are being so tight-lipped about their additions makes me more than a little nervous. As for 3 Kings, it is business as usual. The roster is glaringly familiar and ready to make some noise in 2015…literally. We are easily the loudest team in the league, at least since Vinny stopped bringing that bullhorn to ATU games.

Field #2: Black Betty @ Impose (Homer Wadsworth)

Merdes de fromage sont les pires!

Wow. Writing for the prestigious WSL. I can’t say I didn’t dream about this day and wonder how much time I’d waste talking about myself and not covering the preview I was assigned. Enough about me for now. Let’s talk co-ed, amateur, self-regulated beer league softball.

But first, back to me. This being my first contribution, I really thought I should dig in and learn more about these teams before I just start making up stuff that gets published online. I mean, what if someone references me on Wikipedia?

According to the website team and my WSL sources, Black Betty has been around for a long time, has won more than a few championships, and from my research, seem to be the greatest team in the long history of the league. The Commissioner is also the Manager of the team, which no one in the league finds suspicious whatsoever. Black Betty has some flashy new players joining the squad: LouG “Skywalker’, WSL free-agent Leo “Letstat’ Otereo, and returning from time spent overseas wheeling and dealing with a Miken bat in pair of jeans, former manager\player\BBHOF’er, Benny White. The team is coming back from their unprecedented 9th consecutive finals appearance after a loss to the ‘Boys of Summer’ that few people stuck around to witness. I reached for comment on Black Betty’s outlook for the season, only to hear Holland Cowger had reportedly taken a steamer to France with the daughter of a Motley Crew member and is buttering baguettes with a guillotine, if you know what i mean.

Impose is a magazine website with a focus on TV, movies, photos, and entertainment, which is pretty much what beer league softball is all about. By that, I mean the league has a lot of production industry types. The team had a strong 2014 that ended with a spectacular playoff game against RBar. Sadly, the Bums smoked the Bowlers in extra innings, ending their promising dash for a chance at the title. As for this year, Pete ‘Please, No, Not the Shins’ last name’ said “We always beat Black Betty as Brooklyn Bowl so I have no reason to think we can’t beat them as the Imposters. Wait! I meant, Impose, the magazine slash website! What’s so hard to understand? We were something and now we’re something else. Let’s everyone try and keep up here.”

Impose and Black Betty are now in the same division and will be battling out the coveted #2 spot at the end of the season because everyone knows the #1 seed gets fucked every time. At least that’s what everyone seems to complain about all the time, according to these sources I keep mentioning. Viva la Resistance!

1PM

Field #1: Berry Park @ Turkey’s Teachers (Homer Wadsworth)

Shit. We’re now a swanky cocktail league!?

I know. You’re saying to yourself ‘wait….where’s my cheatsheet on the team name changes again? Am I still in the same beer league or did this all just get swanky as fuck?’

For instance, Berry Park used to be The Soft Spot, and Turkey’s Teachers are… still the Teachers. They finished strong last year and had some nice acquisitions that could spell disaster for some opposing pitchers out there. And there’s always Haz and he’s just nice to see because you know he’s happy it’s summer and that the Nest is open.

And you totally remember the Yetis. They played for Union Pool, then for SoftSpot. They had maroon shirts with Bigfoot printed on the front and you could easily catch a Yeti in his\her environment after a game under the shade of a nearby tree. I’ve had the occasional run in with these softball bipedal humanoid Sasquatches, they offer you a beer after games and actually want to know how your day was on the diamond. True fans of the game. Meanwhile, their kids are running around everywhere and everyone’s smiling. It’s great. Oh and the team is lead by Zac Efron. This is most of what you can pick up from the pics that photographer guy posts on the website. Other vets returning to the fray include Steve ‘Turbo’ Lynch and new pops BabyDaddyBoy who is spending more time these days cleaning up poop than batting clean-up.

This game should be as good as any other season opener and by that I mean, it’s really just a practice game and either team should be happy walking off the field on their own accord. This newsie predicts a good-natured contest and a shit ton of popups.

Field #2: Roebling Sports Club @ Crown Vic 86ers (Shortz)

Gearing up for an epic battle!

Hell must have frozen over, because Reel to Reel-er-Roebling Sporting Club finally gets their first licks at NOT 11am. Seriously, it’s been 4 billion years.

And to top it off, we get a two-peat of having our first game of the season against our delightful division bros- Crown Victoria.

I checked in with my best friend, Al Buttah Boogaz Bidness, on the new Crown Vic meat and he divulged, “We got Jimmy Quigley from fall ball!!”

Now, I took a fall ball sabbatical to sharpen my knife throwing skills, so this means as much to me as saying you got Photosynthesis Computer, but for you fall ball participants, JIMMY QUIGLEY FROM WSL FALL BALL IS PLAYING FOR CROWN VICTORIA!!!”

Also joining their squad is Ben Weisman from McCarren Saturday Softball fame, someone named Dylan (I hope it’s McKay), and Jimmy’s boys (meaning either his friends or his sons) Rich Larossi, and Chris Giorgio. Oh- and one of them used to be a D3 college quarterback, (my money’s on Dylan McKay).

It seems Mayor Buttah has more than made up for last season’s tomfoolery of not adding Lauck and PeteMo when he had the chance.

As for the RSC, we may have acquired a fall baller or two, but mostly it’s returning Reelers. Notably, Babkow is back after a year hiatus to scare the masses with his OBP and his awesome infield chemistry with the one and only, Matt Opalack. Jake Hanenburg is back a month early from the Montana tundra to rock the outfield alongside our cruise director, Mike Hogan. And some of us went to the cages once!

Usually the Reelers come out on top in these opening day showdowns with the Vics. But without Sgt. Andre in the Crown Vic fold, it’s anyone’s game.

 

3PM

Field #1: R Bar @ Enids ()

You’ve cat to be kitten me. Can we win a championship meow?

Something you all may or may not know about me is that I love to reach out to my “key contacts” before I write each preview. I usually ask for some info, gossip or smack talk and rarely get squat…then comes Dom. The newly minted Enid’s (they’re back) manager always drops some serious literary bombs on me, and this week was no disappointment. Turns out this is a “throwback” season for the Pinks. Here are the cliff notes:

– Team returns to original sponsor, Enid’s, after a few years as Good Co. Order has been restored to the Force.
– EJ has retired from the WSL, yet still maintains a residence in Brooklyn. He will certainly be missed by teammates and league members, alike.
– Matt Herman will make his return to full-time status, which makes the loss of EJ sting a little less.
– Reminder about the upcoming nuptials of Mike V and Jen 10 on May 17th! Everyone rejoice!
– Finally, Captain Wally Sprinkles has handed over the keys to the Pink Cadillac. Turns out my “key contact” is now the new manager. Congrats Dom!

I feel a little awful that I couldn’t include everything that Dom wrote to me, but it was seriously an essay.

Occupying the other dugout will be the Bums from R Bar. After a dominating regular season performance in 2014, dem Bums look to bring back most of the team in 2015. A couple of slight tweaks to the roster and the current DL stint of star outfielder, Sam, leaves the lineup with a few question marks. Returning HR champ, Bubbs, and former HR champ, Bobby, look to solidify the offense once again. My guy on the inside, Richie, also told me to look out for a new speedster patrolling the outfield in Sam’s absence. It’s looking like a championship or bust season for the boys (and girls) in blue!

On a side note, congrats to D-Lo and Adam on their off-season engagement! Hopefully the wedding plans take up so much time that D-Lo can settle down on the kitten pictures. (Editor’s note: NEVER STOP POSTING YOUR KITTY PICS, D-LO!!!)

Field #2: Clemerica @ Gibson (Stryker)

Clemerica is gearing up for another year as the league’s best team. The Battleship has been in dry dock all winter getting some much needed improvements. We’ve brought on some powerful new cannons that will help the league’s favorite team pillage and plunder all that stand in their way. Captain Breezey has been toiling night and day at Clem’s, restructuring the supports of this fine vessel. A lot of Clemericans were forced to walk the plank, and a few new deck swabbers have been added to the crew. CRAIG! was forced into retirement several times, but when the death threats started rolling in we quickly added him back on the roster, I mean who wants to take a mail bomb to the face over softball?!? I have no idea what the Gibson has been doing in the off season, but I can only imagine they’ve been making major moves to try and help them get a 2-win season. I imagine it’s been a lot like Mr. Burns reconstructing his softball team:

I love the Gibbers and always have a blast playing them. This will be the second season in a row we open up against them and I’m ready to get it on!

5PM

Field #1: Turkey’s Nest @ AT United (Stryker)

The Boys are back in town, The Boys are back in towwwwwnnn!! Well, some of the Boys. I’m actually gonna be really short on material this season with Jake off in Arizona and JL in Connecticut(?). Although, I heard rumors that JL will actually still be playing in “some” games, it’s just not gonna be the same. The Boys have been split and I may have to find some new favorite players to write about every week.

Ahhh who am I kidding I LOVE YOU GUYS! Remember that championship we won last year?!?!?! That was awesome.I heard Jake’s been raising scorpions to battle in the underground scorpion fighting ring he’s been running out of his basement. I’m not sure how many games JL will actually make, I heard he’s been real busy studying the Dali Lama’s teachings while traveling around the Appalachians wrestling bears. When he defeats the bears, he makes them sit there while he preaches the great Dali’s words.

Then there’s Mitch and Shafer, the core, the heart, the soul, and of course, the beautiful half of the Boys of Summer. I remember when Shafer presented me with a lovely bouquet of Budweisers, oh and those roses…sigh…what a meaningful embrace we had afterwards. The Boys are facing off against ATU. Gerald and the crew will do their best to defeat this juggernaut of a team. I wonder if Daniel is still on the team? He reached out to me over the winter and asked if we had room for him. I found this very strange considering he talks trash to me every game and “accidentally” ran me over at home plate last year. It’s opening day, let the battle begin!

Field #2: Loggers @ The Runaways (Shortz)

It’s a familiar name vs. a name we’ve never heard of.

Last we heard from the Loggers, they were defeated in the elite 8 after a sweet 16 upset against 3 Kings. ( ) was so bummed. But like many teams chomping at the championship bit, the Loggers spent their off season bringing in four newbies to the team and league- Renee, Rob McCoy, Dan Gallagher, and Kevin Conley aka Snoop.

Pete’s Candy Store is now The Runaways, and there is no story behind that. As for talent, Coach Blues Clues Rio rambled about rom-coms for a bit, nodded off while many times whispering ‘Matt Abbott’, then spilled that his prize player Megan is chilling in Oregon and won’t be back for a while. Ed is in part-time retirement and whether Rio and Ian are even playing this Sunday will be a game time decision. Then we watched 27 Dresses.

The last time these two faced off, the Loggers narrowly defeated The Runaways in a game that also marked the final WSL appearance of Mike “Splovies Master” Saris. Being that it’s opening day, it may be too soon for another retirement to fuel up the Loggers, but you never know.

This week’s preview brought to you by:

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Toodles!

The NEW New New Additions

 

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