Joe Godsy Division
Parkview Scorpions 6 1 .857 115 48
McCarren Hotel Titans 6 1 .857 96 60
St. Anselm 3 3 .500 73 53
Turkey's Nest AT 2 5 .286 50 64
Parkview Suzies 5 1 .833 55 42
The Bedford Yetis 3 4 .429 62 99
Pete's Candy Store 2 5 .286 73 77
Turkey's Nest 0 7 .000 20 101
Joe Fashion Division
Gibson 6 1 .857 89 44
Roebling Sports Club 5 2 .714 111 70
Clems 3 3 .500 63 56
The Gutter 86ers 1 5 .167 36 89
Kilo Bravo 4 2 .667 55 37
Echo Bravo 4 2 .667 69 44
Loggers 2 5 .286 58 83
Carmine's Bombers 1 6 .143 44 102


Week 08 - May 22
11:00 Parkview Scorpions @ Gibson 1
Loggers @ The Bedford Yetis 2
1:00 Pete's Candy Store @ Echo Bravo 1
Turkey's Nest @ Kilo Bravo 2
3:00 Carmine's Bombers @ Parkview Suzies 1
Turkey's Nest AT @ Clems 2
5:00 McCarren Hotel Titans @ The Gutter 86ers 1
St. Anselm @ Roebling Sports Club 2

Last Week's Results

Week 07 - May 15
Pete's Candy Store14 @ Turkey's Nest AT 11
Echo Bravo10 @ Roebling Sports Club 5
Loggers11 @ The Gutter 86ers 6
Carmine's Bombers5 @ Clems 12
Parkview Suzies7 @ McCarren Hotel Titans 17
The Bedford Yetis2 @ Parkview Scorpions 26
Kilo Bravo8 @ Gibson 9
Turkey's Nest0 @ St. Anselm 11

Week 16- RECAP

Tue, Aug 12, 2014

On the dry, dusty fields of McCarren Park, Sunday was a melting pot of (more) injuries, Sumo Bumpers and Twisters- or God’s way of saying “Kickball’s not a sport- get the fuck out!


Field #1: Gibson vs. Turkey’s Nest (WSL Superfan)

No one could have predicted, that without Dream Date ™ and Heartthrob ® Dan Shafer to lead them, the Turkey’s Nest could defeat Gibson. Who else is on that team? Mitch? I think I speak for all the womenfolk when I say “huh? Dream Date Dan…. Wha?” in a distracted voice when asked who else plays for Turkey’s. There’s something about the utter and complete lack of food in Dan’s mustache that puts me in a daze and has me thinking not about how capable Sean Manning is at growing his hair long and stepping in admirably for Shafer, but rather me buying Dan a box of sesame crackers. Managing for the day, Sean (seen here with a message for Dan),

led the way with a homer, which sparked Mike “OG Home Run Champ” Kornheiser and John “Carlos Dangerarm” Louis to follow with legit dingers of their own (probably in that order – makes for a better story at least). Birthday Boy Jacob Backerman apparently hit one as well, but it was due to “outfield laziness”, so it deserves only a slight mention.

This game wasn’t a Turkey sausage fest only – the ladies of the Nest – Trish, Holly and Laura were also in full effect, coming up big in the infield and at the plate, particularly in the late innings. On the Gibson side, Boston was all hustle, driving in three runs through “running around the bases” – this may be a home run, but the forensics aren’t in yet. Todd’s homer was no joke, however – and was the second time in a row that he closed out a game with a homer – be forewarned. At the end, Turkey’s just had too much hitting and defense for the Gibson, holding them to a season low 35 plate appearances. That’s a performance that you want to see going into the playoffs – take note, bracketologists, Turkey’s has hit their stride. Gobble Gobble!

( Gibson: 4 / Turkey’s Nest: 16 )

Field #2: Crown Vic 86ers vs. RBar (WSL Superfan)

The much anticipated “battle of the two bar sponsored softball teams” took place at 11 AM and it was close in the early going. Stephen “Bubbs” Connors hit a line drive home run to get things going for the Bums in the bottom of the first, who led the contest 4 – 0 after one. The Mayor’s Clan ain’t nothing to F with, as they came back immediately with 4 runs in the top of the 2nd to tie. R Bar old timer Nate answered in the 3rd with a home run and Bubbs followed to push the lead to 8 – 4. But, the 86ers weren’t going down without a fight – Mallory.V.P. frustrated the Bums with play after play at Short, and Justin, Joe and Pat put up big numbers at the plate to keep it close until the 6th inning, when Bubbs snagged a liner up the middle to start a double play and kill the last 86er threat.

Adam contributed a standout performance at the plate with a perfect line that included a homer and 3 RBIs, as Rbar stretched the lead late and won going away 19 – 10. Rumor has it that the Mayor was so bummed that he shaved his beard (don’t worry – it grew back overnight). No rest for Crown Vic as they move on to face Spike Hill this Sunday, while RBar looks for revenge against Reel 2 Reel.

( Crown Vic: 10 / RBar: 19 )


Field #1: Brooklyn Bowl vs. Clemerica (Stryker)

Precision stitching. Nailed it.

Ohhh Brooklyn Bowl. Although I preferred you more when you were Mendoza, you’re still our favorite team to lose to. I think the Battleship knew it was sunk before this one even started, but hell, we still tried our best to beat the Holy Rollers.

The Bowl hopped out to a big lead in the first, batting around and scoring 7 runs. Pat Snajder’s “HR” accounted for 3 of those runs and Ben “Weapon” Weber’s seeing-eye double drove in two more. Bad start for us.  Clem’s couldn’t get the bats going early, but we sure did get the beers going. Oh yeah, and the grapefruits.

After hearing a legendary story from JL Friday night (we were out celebrating Jake’s Birthday- Happy Birthday, Bud!! Everyone loves you!!!) about Godsy and a painted grapefruit, I spent all day toiling in the sun on my roof trying to recreate that famed moment. After 3 coats of spray paint and some sharpie work I felt good. This grapefruit looked like the real deal.  So after a masterfully crafted plan involving Gerald, Cujo and Markow I was ready.  It was time. As I threw my first intentional ball (with the real one) to Godsy, I glanced over and saw G-Black slip Cujo the grapefruit.  Cujo then called a time out and met me and Markow on the mound.  After creating a human wall with the Bowlers at our back, we went for the switch.  Then all hell broke lose.

The real ball came out of my glove, as planned, but the grapefruit.. slipped and fell to the ground with a thud.  I recovered it quickly but the slickness of the grapefruit skin and the contact with the ground made the paint disintegrate off.  Boner!! I was left holding a regular colored grapefruit with a little spot of white on it.  I attempted a pitch, but the bright ruby red color didn’t quite fool Godsy as he watched it thud to the ground.  He demanded another pitch with it and I complied. He obliterated it into a million pieces. I even saw him pick up a big chunk and eat it. What a champion.  It could have been a real game changer, but alas that was the story of the day for Clemerica…blown game changers.

Godsy also smashed his FIRST HR of the year in the second inning. It was picture perfect liner that split the outfielders and rolled to the backstop on Field 2.  It was 11-0 going into the 4th.  Not good.  The scoring stopped until the 6th with Clem’s finally getting on the board when Markow laced a too hot to handle laser beam at CF Chad Ostrom. Clem’s “shining star” Craig smashed a 2-run homer in the 8th, but was too little too late.

To add insult to injury, the Bowlers put up 6 more in the top of the 9th. Derek Evers launched an absolute moonshot into the trees in left to plate three.  I would also like to give a shout out to Rustin for playing with us.  It was like season 1 of Clem’s all over again.  He let out one of the greatest heckles to the Bowlers pitcher Pete late in the game when he asked im “Whats your favorite sitcom of all time?”  Pete’s answer? “The Larry Sanders Show.”  Over the din of the Clemerican’s laughter, Rustin called Pete a “premium cable snob.”  Pete looked dejected.  One of the best heckle moments I have heard all season.  Shout outs to Jaime and Jessie, as well, who played some solid outfield. 

( Brooklyn Bowl: 18 / Clemerica: 4 )

Field #2: Reel2Reel vs. Spike Hill (Shortz)

At least Shortz won something that day

You know how Reel2Reel has had the unfortunate luck of having major on-field injuries interfere with winning games? This week took the cake (and pop). During BP, Jaime got a face full of softball on a bad hop at the hands of Phil “face smasher” Michael. With Jamie (who was now on the sidelines protected by the Sumo Bumpers) and Julie on the way to fill in, Molly from ATU awesomely filled in for us so we could get this impending bloodbath started.

We put up 2 runs in the 1st inning only to be immediately killed when Spike Hill batted around (and then some) to score 13 goddamn runs. This was thanks to timely hits, smart base running, and Doug Hogan hitting a really stupid grand slam.

Sam’s shoulder injury in the 2nd inning was our 2nd undoing. He joined Jaime on the sidelines, now renaming the bumpers area “the injury ward”.

Regarding our injury misfortunes, O’Malley had this to say, “We had a evil scheme to hurt all of your key players….wait for it…. feelings.” But they got emotional pain confused with physical, as most cyborgs do.

Nasty Nate of R Bar filled in for us, with the “support” of his teammates on the sidelines. Any misstep was met with “BOOOOOOO” and with any triumph…

Now, I could mention all the players on Spike Hill who went over .500, but that was everyone, so I’ll just mention Phil “face-smasher” Michael. Invigorated by his new nickname, he was perfect on the day with 4 hits including a home run.

As for us, I’ll only mention Shawn who went 3-4 with a HR because the rest of us hit like garbage people. But I will say that from the 3-6th plus 8th innings, Spike Hill was scoreless. If only we could have wiped society’s memory of that dreadful first inning…we still would’ve lost by 2.

Making things even weirder was Alex’s double foul in one swing (which should have counted as a strikeout #graspingatstraws). But the weirdest thing of all was the dirt tornado that appeared just after the game. It should be Spike Hill’s new team mascot…because they rolled us.

( Reel2Reel: 3 / Spike Hill: 18 )


Field #1: AT United vs. Loggers (Stryker)

Nate, obviously looking to reprise his appearance on the Butt Cam this year

While El Drunko Tanko was sitting in the woods arguing with a beer over who came first, a giant tree fell on him.  It made a sound and all the Loggers were there to hear it.  AT showed up to the park a few hours early to mentally prepare themselves and physically prepare some hot dogs and burgers.  I can only imagine they were turkey burgers and the tryptophan made them all sleepy and sluggish by game time, because judging by the score, they weren’t their usual perky selves.

The Loggers, who have been struggling as of late with 1 win in their last 7 games, came out with chainsaws a blazin’.  Nelson Nunez had a big day, going 3 for 3 and some stellar D in RF, chopping down fly ball after fly ball. Tony B went 2 for 4, scoring twice and had a dominant day in the flat pitchers circle ( I refuse to call it a mound anymore), holding United to a measly 3 runs.

More strong bats came from Loggers Kristen P, gettin’ 2 RBI’s, a BB, and scoring a run, and Brains goin’ 3 for 4 on the day. Some more solid D from Brian P at SS, filling in for Saris and he also went 2 for 4.  I also heard the worst attempt at a heckle from AT during our game from that guy with the socks, don’t know his name I just call him Mouth.  It was obviously directed at me, not sure what he was even trying to do with it, called me the wrong name, I don’t know. I guess he wins for confusion factor?   Biggest shout out to G-Black for his key role in the grapefruit pitch, couldn’t have done it without you brah!

( ATU: 3 / Loggers: 8 )

Field #2: 3 Kings vs. Turkey’s Teachers (Stache)

One never quite knows what to expect from those pesky Teachers.  There’s some talent lurking around those 32 ounce Styrofoam cups.  Some weeks they actually get that talent off the bar stool and down to the fields.  This was one of those weeks and 3 Kings would have their hands full, while looking for their 3rd victory in a row.

This 3pm contest started off with a barrage of runs in the 1st. The Kings kicked it off with a 4 spot in the top half of the frame.  Big props to Ken Kocses with his 11th lead-off hit in 14 games this year (tablesetter!).  Not backing down, Efren Montilla would answer with a big 3 run blast to center for TNT.  Although it appeared that the game was headed for 50+ runs, both offenses would remain fairly silent until the 5th inning.

It was deadlocked at 4-4 going into the 5th and 3Ks got back to work, adding 3 runs to grab the lead for good. But TNT kept fighting, scoring in each of the next 4 innings. Efren hit a second homer and Jason Perez added one of his own.  TNT veterans Andres Rodriguez and Mike Sill also combined for 7 hits on the day.  Despite the Teacher’s offensive outburst, the Kings always kept one step ahead.  Chris Valerio hit his 5th homer of the year, Jose Martinez laced 3 hits and “The Mouth of the South” Nick Tomeo was a perfect 4 for 4 at the plate for the Kings en route to a 14-11 nail-biter.

Thanks to Linda Huie for completing the trifecta of Spike Hill lady subs for us this year (big thanks to Mo and Kris, too).  She totally ripped a base hit swinging on a 3-0 count, which would certainly have gotten her benched by O’Malley. 

( 3 Kings: 14 / Teachers: 11 )


Field #1: Black Betty vs. Soft Spot (Stache)

Division play is back in the Fashion North! Trying to avoid losing their 3rd straight game and missing key contributors Zak & Annie, Soft Spot were looking at an uphill battle against Black Betty.  With the return of (self-proclaimed) “BettyBall” over the last month, the Dark Lords of the WSL were looking for their 4th victory in 5 games.

The game remained close in the early frames, until Betty took a 6-5 lead on a lead-off single by Chelsey Fitz followed by a bomb by Mike Camarra.  Flash forward a few more frames and the BettyBallers still held on tight to that same 1 run advantage.  After a Yeti leadoff single by Steve “Turbo” Lynch, Anthony “Pizza” Pizza then reached on an error.  1st and 3rd with no outs in the 8th, you say?  The Yetis’ game recap was provided by Jason Dietz this week and broke down this deciding moment beautifully.

Kevin Belz from BB was the MVP of the game and you can quote me.”  Ok Mr. Dietz, you’re on!  “(He was) 5 for 5 and made the deciding play of the game. Bottom of the 8th and trailing 7-6, Soft Spot got runners to 1st and 3rd with no outs.  The next ball was a hard grounder hit to Kevin, who fielded the ball, tagged out the runner going from first to second and then stepped on the bag; all while keeping his eyes fixed on “Turbo” at 3rd. Double play, no run scored. Game Over.”

Black Betty would go on to add 4 insurance runs and close out the game strong.  Before it was over, Soft Spot vet Pizza was overhead saying Belz hits worse than a girl. Not surprisingly, the story generated some chicken-headed reactions from the ladies at the bar later on.

I cannot confirm or deny the allegations, but I can can clearly state that Kevin definitely hits worse than some girls that I know. Hell, even bad Pizza is still Pizza…right?

( Black Betty: 11 / Soft Spot: 7 )

Field #2: Pete’s Candy Store vs. Good Company (Shortz)

Where’s Wally?

I actually made it over to this one (mainly because these two teams are DREADFUL at sending me timely highlights). And may I just say that this game was the cat’s meow. Equal parts exciting, and boring; very injury prone and slightly buzzed. That’s the WSL I know and love- not this boring lopsided victory malarkey. This wasn’t a game- this was WAR (sort of).

One thing was evident at the start of the game: Pete’s came to whoop some Pink ass. They came out scorching like their Fireball namesake and put up 4 runs in the first inning. I then started cursing out Wally in my head. “Dammit Wally– just days ago I ranted that you’d be ready to throw down. But you looked like you were more ready to throw down a weed-scented afghan and sleep off your team’s collective hangover. It’s 5pm!”

As the innings went by, I started mentally re-designing my preview image to read “The Candy Store-Bowski”, but then the Pinks finally got the lead out of their pants at tied it 15-all in the 4th.

In the 5th inning, the league had yet another injury scare when Good Co’s Drew took a nasty hop to the face, busting his lip open (I think there was blood. I ran away).

It was at the beginning of the sixth inning when Black Betty and Yetis were already slapping hands on field 1, and it seemed like the game would be called for lack of daylight.

Ed maintains the lead changed 5 times, but I say it was closer to 30. Sometimes the lead changed 5 times in an inning.

KT hit her second home run of the season (would be 4 if not for bad calls and worse base coaching) to help tie it up once more. But then Luke would smash a dinger for Pete’s and they’d be up again. But then Dom (3-5) would knock in Stacy “finally lost at fingers” Rowe (3-5). But then James would also go yard for Pete’s and they’d be up again. But then Sam would go 2-3 with 2 walks to bolster his vanity. Okay fine- taht was 5 times.

Several controversial calls occurred at the hands of Ump Buttah, including 2 runners hit by batted balls (possibly), an infield-fly rule (not called) and a crazy DP (called safe) at 2nd that involved a collision between Wally, Megan, and Ed.

The crowd was on the edge of their chairs and coolers by the bottom of the 9th (except me and Linda, who waddled over to field one IN THE Sumo Bumpers and attempted BP). With Allen on base, Cap’n Calfs hit a walk off single to end the game and bring himself closer to a double Vodka Soda at the Gibson. As the teams shook hands I mentally un-cussed Wally out. “Dammit Wally! You had me fooled. You guys are good after all…and pretty. But still I hate surprises, especially on the weekends.” 

Epilogue: Both teams ended up at Pete’s Candy Store to drown some drinks and dogs after the game. It was just like the days of yore when Pete’s and Enid’s were the best teams ever. Several other teams were represented at the all most-night party. And Fingers was played.

( Pete’s: 19 / Good Co: 20 )

This week’s recap brought to you by:


The New New Additions



Powered by Facebook Comments