Joe Godsy Division
Parkview Scorpions 6 1 .857 115 48
McCarren Hotel Titans 6 1 .857 96 60
St. Anselm 3 3 .500 73 53
Turkey's Nest AT 2 5 .286 50 64
Parkview Suzies 5 1 .833 55 42
The Bedford Yetis 3 4 .429 62 99
Pete's Candy Store 2 5 .286 73 77
Turkey's Nest 0 7 .000 20 101
Joe Fashion Division
Gibson 6 1 .857 89 44
Roebling Sports Club 5 2 .714 111 70
Clems 3 3 .500 63 56
The Gutter 86ers 1 5 .167 36 89
Kilo Bravo 4 2 .667 55 37
Echo Bravo 4 2 .667 69 44
Loggers 2 5 .286 58 83
Carmine's Bombers 1 6 .143 44 102


Week 08 - May 22
11:00 Parkview Scorpions @ Gibson 1
Loggers @ The Bedford Yetis 2
1:00 Pete's Candy Store @ Echo Bravo 1
Turkey's Nest @ Kilo Bravo 2
3:00 Carmine's Bombers @ Parkview Suzies 1
Turkey's Nest AT @ Clems 2
5:00 McCarren Hotel Titans @ The Gutter 86ers 1
St. Anselm @ Roebling Sports Club 2

Last Week's Results

Week 07 - May 15
Pete's Candy Store14 @ Turkey's Nest AT 11
Echo Bravo10 @ Roebling Sports Club 5
Loggers11 @ The Gutter 86ers 6
Carmine's Bombers5 @ Clems 12
Parkview Suzies7 @ McCarren Hotel Titans 17
The Bedford Yetis2 @ Parkview Scorpions 26
Kilo Bravo8 @ Gibson 9
Turkey's Nest0 @ St. Anselm 11

Week 15- RECAP

Tue, Aug 5, 2014

This Sunday featured 3 teams playing one game, 2 birthdays, and 0 upsets. Oh, and Godsy telling Graham, “I’m gonna tickle you till you piss yourself.”

Sundays, amirite?

And those post birthday Mondays


Field #1: AT United vs. Soft Spot (WSL Superfan)

With both teams having 7-7 records, this was bound to be a great game. Like really great. In fact, everything associated with this game could be summed up with the word “great”.

Apparently so because that’s the only word ATU used to describe everything that happened in their game to the WSL Editorial Board. Let’s review what they claimed was so ‘great’ about this game:

  • Great pitching by Jimmy Twos
  • Great job by defense all around
  • Great hitting by team lead by Justin going 3-3 along with Lauck & JR going 3-4
  • Great hitting from our ladies, going 4-8 on the day.
  • Great innings: 5 run first inning followed by a great 7 run 6th inning.

As for the Yetis, things were not so great, except for April’s “saucy” tennis skirt, which is sure to be next season’s hot new ladies apparel must-have. According to the Softspotters, they were great at getting men on base but not hitting them home. That’s got to be grating for any team.

( ATU: 17 / Soft Spot: 7 )

Field #2: 3 Kings vs. Pete’s Candy Store (Stache)


After 2 losses by 1 run in 2013, I was beginning to think 3 Kings was just not meant to beat Pete’s Candy Store.  Still searching for for their first ever win in the series, 3Ks took the (magnificently prepared) field on Sunday morning with something to prove.  Would this be the year?  I mean, eventually it is bound to happen…right?

The game began with the Kings plating a quick run in the top of the 1st, only to have the Candy Kids answer with a bunch in the bottom half.  From that point, the battle was on.  The Kings scored in all but one inning of the game and Pete’s seemed to have an answer for them every step of the way.  Candy Store veteran Ed Carroll had 4 hits on the day, mostly abusing the 3B chalk with screamers down the line.  Birthday girl Megan went 2 for 3 and flashed some serious leather for PCS.  3 Kings was led by Joe Tomeo’s 5 RBIs, which were aided by a 8 combined hits and 6 combined runs from Kenny & Denis at the top of the lineup.

An 8th inning, go-ahead, 3-run, oppo job from your boy, Motown, would (eventually) seal the deal on the Kings victory, although Pete’s never gave up the fight!  They scored once and then loaded the bases in the 9th, before 3 Kings would finally record the 27th out and end the rally.

That makes 3 straight 1-run games between these squads over the last 2 seasons.  It all began with the infamous “Mud Bowl” last spring, which gave me extra motivation to get the fields in perfect playing order prior to game time.  Clean fields, full lineup, can’t lose!

( 3 Kings: 16 / Pete’s: 15 )


Field #1: Gibson vs. Reel2Reel (Shortz)

In truth, I was a “scoatch” nervous going into this game. My finger was still on the fritz and I was the only girl who showed up. But, I figured as long as I’m careful it wouldn’t be an issue. So, of course the first play of the game would be a laser right to my finger. One out (and finger) down. I was in trouble, but we also picked up my girl Annie, so maybe they wouldn’t notice if we switched the next inning.

They noticed.

“Hey- she can’t play 2nd!” “Shortz you have to play there!” “Tastes Great / Less Filling!”

And back to 2B I went. But that’s enough about me.

The Reelers finally got our groove back from the get-go, tacking on 3 runs in the 1st inning. We never scored more than a few per inning due to the Gibbers overall team defense (especially Boston’s defense in CF, robbing many wannabe homers). But, we did do something uncharacteristic- we scored a few almost every inning and maintained the lead throughout the game.

The reel stars for us were Jake “Line Drives Sometimes”, who went 2-4 with a HR, plus “Sir-Hits-A-Lot” Millard and Shawn “The Insurance Policy”, who both went 3-4.

The Gibson was flashier in their offensive web gems. Todd hit a three run dinger. And then there was A-Dos’. After being bullied at the hands of his teammates, teasing his baseball pants accentuated his “Latino Heat”, he responded with a Herculean home run over the dugout of field 2.

Sadly, swinging his “Latino Heat” around the base path wasn’t enough to pull ahead, and Reel2Reel walked away with their first win in over a month.

( Gibson: 5 / Reel2Reel: 12 )

Field #2: Clemerica vs. Spike Hill (Stryker)

Dreaming of bad strike zones…and of course, Chelsey…

Very controversial game.  We should have taken the forfeit win.  I’m putting an asterisk next to this one.  After a blacktop delay and already a shallow roster, Breeze allowed Spike’s Candy Store to pick up 3…that’s right 3! generous Pete’s Players – Sam, James, and Chad, who all were clutch in the field and on offense, with Sam playing a zen-like 1st base.  Not sure why we let them pick up 3 players when they could have fielded a team with 2, but I digress…

The Battleship was also missing Markow due to the more important blacktop league and we were also short a girl, so special thanks to Megan from Pete’s who helped us out big time.  The game was close until the middle innings, where a huge turn of events happened.  The Candy Store additions went on a barrage both offensively and defensively.  Chad from Pete’s hit a 3 run dinger, scoring himself and Sam (who would score 2 or 3 times during the game).

James from Pete’s somehow robbed me of a home run that was over right center’s head.  I slapped Sam five rounding first because I was sure I was going all the way, but by the time I got around second, the ball was at 3rd and I managed to fall on my face and get tagged out.  Sam also robbed several battleship hits playing 1B and even beat me chicken running to 1st. We almost died.

There was also a questionable “walk rule” applied when I apparently threw 4 straight balls to Mo ( I guess hitting the corner is a ball these days?) Linda, who was up next, was awarded first base.  The real Spike Hill players only had like 1 or 2 home runs off of our errors.  Eric “The Flash” Finnigan did beat out every single ground ball, guy is pretty damn fast. With Sam, Linda (birthday girl), Mo, and Bobby locking down the infield, they turned plays looking more like a Vidal Sassoon commercial than a softball team.  Linda also ripped a few hits at the plate and was awarded another generous birthday present when a missed tag at 2nd was ruled an out.  We all saw that guilty smile on your face, Linda! The Battleship’s DBA hit another monster home run into the trees, but even with that we just couldn’t outshine Pete’s arsenal. Wait…but we were playing Spike Hill?

At the end of the day, The Candy Shoppers scored at least 6 runs and had like 5 RBI’s and outplayed most of the Spike Hill players altogether.  I’m bitter.

( Spike Hill: 14* / Clemerica: 8 )


Field #1: Turkey’s Nest vs. Crown Vic 86ers (Stryker)

What’s the extra base rule again?

“Playing Turkey’s Nest is like playing a WSL all star team.” An All Star team made up of patriotic supermodel athletes, who can also dance and sing. Real quintuple threats, those guys.

The Turkeys apparently hit the shit out of ball and the 86ers couldn’t take advantage of their runners in scoring position, mostly because Turkey’s defense is prettttty good!!  I didn’t really get any “stats” for this game, but I’m sure Jake, JL, Shafer, and Mitch each had like 4 home runs,  7 RBI’s, and combined for 34 outs defensively. And I think Shafer struck someone out from the outfield just by looking at him.  The real story of this game was a controversial “overthrow” to first by the Nest.

Andre flipped his lid when an overthrow to first base didn’t allow his runners to get as many bases as they should.  The argument was that the ball wasn’t quite out of play. But man, it was like the Night of Broken Glass in Nazi Germany, 1938. “The injustice!” Andre screamed. I think he may have even called the ACLU. A whole inning later, John Louis, playing 3B, managed to goad Andre into continuing his protest. That was fun and gave me a giggle.” -Disco

Justin Barnes hit a home run in the 9th, but the 86ers were still falling a little flat and just couldn’t get their offense going.

Also: To the Boys of Summer,  I ripped that last single for you guys. I was so nervous when I saw you were watching. I had butterflies in my tummy like a 16 year old girl going out on her first date.

( Turkey’s Nest: 18 / Crown Vic 86-ers: 6 )

Field #2: Brooklyn Bowl vs. R Bar (Stache)

You know you  guys won, right, Nat?

Double digit win totals and stingy defense was the story going into this game on Sunday afternoon.  Boy, did this one live up to the hype!  Seems like a wet towel was thrown over every potential rally and the crooked numbers were hard to come by.

RBar started off the scoring in the 1st with a 2-out RBI single from Bobby Knapp.  By the top of the 4th, RBar was clinging to a 2-0 lead when Brooklyn Bowl looked to answer.  Joe Godsy smacked an RBI double for the Bowl, but the potential tying run was cut down at home on an incredible relay throw from RBar SS Matt and a great tag laid down by Katie at the plate! That missed opportunity opened the door for the Bums in the bottom half of the inning, when they added 3 runs on RBI hits from Sam and Matt.  RBar hurler, Bubbs, continued to stifle the Bowler’s bats, while adding an RBI triple to help his cause in the 6th. BB added a couple garbage time runs, but never really threatened in the later innings.

When asked for some comments, Bowler Pete simply stated, “We sucked.”  That’s probably not the whole story, since they held the prolific RBar offense to less than 10 runs.  The one problem with that is they actually gave up 9…and as we all know…first to 9 wins! *face palm*

( Brooklyn Bowl: 3 / RBar: 9 )


Field#1: Loggers vs. Black Betty (Not Shortz)

An open letter to the Loggers:

Dearest Loggers,

Awe, MAAAAN! I really wanted to relieve you of all the Buttfumble gifs, pics, and memes I’ve dolled out in the past. I had dreams, Loggers. Dreams of new Black Betty graphics such as this:

And this.

And this.

But Now.I.Can’t.

I get it. You had some elements working against you. Logger Jeff X was hampered by a hamstring pull. And Jenn X was out so you added Kathryn, who everyone knows has rabies (I’m totally kidding- she’s a baller and a lady).

But goddamn were you not prepared for Jake Levine…in a mullet. Without it, he strikes out. But when he adds that business in the front, party in the back, he strikes out AND hits two bombs over Driggs (ultimately going 4-6). You also weren’t prepared for their infield mind games. Resident bumper JB$ made the move to 3B and Betty brought in none other than McCarren Saturday League ace, Lou ‘SkyWalker’ Giagrande. (they must’ve been real motivated to win after my scathing open letter to them). But with 12 runs in the first inning alone, they straight up slowed your Loggers’ roll.

Yes, I’m being hard on you Loggers. I know you gave it your all, (I think). Injured Jeff X still managed 2 RBI’s, Logger Lady Kerry Daly went 3-4, and Nelson turned a single into a triple and would have tried for more had the entire bench stopped him after rounding third. The move got the attention of Green Light Belz who retorted, “Fast Dude on Loggers is FAAAAAST.” 

I’m done hacking into Shortz’ write-ups. Don’t make me come back.


Not Shortz

( Loggers: 4 / Black Betty: 22 )

Field #2: Turkey’s Teachers vs. Good Company (WSL Superfan)

I don’t want to start this recap talking about what happened on Sunday. Instead, I’m way more interested on what went down the night before—at the TNT BACHELOR PARTY! Apparently things got so cray (as they should, it’s a bachelor party after all) that the TNT squad wasn’t exactly ready by game time (damn those early 5pm games) and were missing a bunch of guys. Aren’t they always short of players? Maybe they just have more fun than the rest us–and for that I have to salute them.

Back to Sunday’s action. TNT must have still been in bachelor party mode because they filled out their lineup with three girls! And with stage names like CC, Wulffie and FeFe, one would think they recruited them from FlashDancers, but apparently most were on the pre-season roster.

I’m not sure whether it was the alcohol fumes or the lap dance sweat wafting from the TNT bench, but it definitely put Good Co. in an early funk. TNT batted around in the first and scored 5 runs. In fact, at one point, they had loaded the bases…with all chicks! Play on playas!!

But like all bachelor parties, they’re all fantasy—as was TNT’s chances of beating Good Co. The Pinks put up 7 runs in the 6th, lead by Tommy, who hit 2 dingers. Then Wally started playing people out of position (was he at the bachelor party too?), which allowed TNT to get close, but never too close, much like NYC strip club laws.

( Teachers: 11 / Good Co: 17 )

This week’s recap brought to you by:


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