Joe Godsy Division
Parkview Scorpions 6 1 .857 115 48
McCarren Hotel Titans 6 1 .857 96 60
St. Anselm 3 3 .500 73 53
Turkey's Nest AT 2 5 .286 50 64
Parkview Suzies 5 1 .833 55 42
The Bedford Yetis 3 4 .429 62 99
Pete's Candy Store 2 5 .286 73 77
Turkey's Nest 0 7 .000 20 101
Joe Fashion Division
Gibson 6 1 .857 89 44
Roebling Sports Club 5 2 .714 111 70
Clems 3 3 .500 63 56
The Gutter 86ers 1 5 .167 36 89
Kilo Bravo 4 2 .667 55 37
Echo Bravo 4 2 .667 69 44
Loggers 2 5 .286 58 83
Carmine's Bombers 1 6 .143 44 102



Last Week's Results

Week 08 - May 22
Parkview Scorpions0 @ Gibson 0
Loggers0 @ The Bedford Yetis 0
Pete's Candy Store0 @ Echo Bravo 0
Turkey's Nest0 @ Kilo Bravo 0
Carmine's Bombers0 @ Parkview Suzies 0
Turkey's Nest AT0 @ Clems 0
McCarren Hotel Titans0 @ The Gutter 86ers 0
St. Anselm0 @ Roebling Sports Club 0

Week 9 – RECAP

Tue, Jun 17, 2014

Before we dive into the recaps, I need to report a New Subtraction from our website family. Decker will sadly be leaving us to pursue fatherhood and the great unknown of Westchester county. Let’s all take a moment to pour one out for our (now former) website writer. Though you were not with us long, your contribution to our softball community will be forever cherished.

Here are your recaps, fuckers.


Field #1: Stink Hill vs. Soft Spot (Stryker)

The Universe is doomed.  Evil beat Good…again.  I guess at least Darth Vader Kane had a Happy Fathers day.  Pizza Hut and the Yetis would keep it close until the middle late innings (or when Han Solo gets encased in Carbonite if your following along in the movie).

When asked for comment after the game, Emperor Palpatine  had this to say: “Pizza throws some spinny junk – not sure if it works, but it’s pretty to look at and did get some popouts.”

The Dark Side got 8 Ewok heads (homeruns) for their mantle, including 3 from Doug “Greedo” Hogan,  2 from Kelly “Lando” Southerland, and 1 from Alex “Bib Fortuna” Dubin and the oppo Emperor himself.  Mo “ugnaught” Oughton had a pretty decent game, going 3 for 5 at the plate and turnin’ a double play.

The Dark Side’s Schwartz proved stronger this time around, settling on a score of 19-7 (although the website currently has that reversed)O’Malley giggled at this mix up as he imagined a world “where we would actually lose to SS by 12 runs.” 

( Spike Hill – 19 / Soft Spot – 7 )

Field #2: Reel 2 Reel vs. Pete’s (Shortz)

Would’ve been a lot cooler if you brought two left cleats, Ian.

It was a super weird morning on field 2. Reel2Reel had 9, Ian had two right cleats to play in, and Sgt. Andre was umping. A reel recipe for something bananas (foreshadowing).

What seemed like an even match-up early on turned a smidge ugly for the Reelers as they watched Pete’s pull off a myriad of 2-out rallies.

The Reelers battled back, notably with Jake ‘the Hawk’ Hawkins going 3 for 5 (and not letting a touch of TB get to him, while manning left field like a boss). Also going 3 for 5, which included another home run notch on his belt, was our ace on the mound, Tyler Hozler. And in a surprise to no one, Shawn Andrew out-shined us yet again with a grand slam, 2-run HR and a butt load of RBIs.

But our hitting efforts weren’t enough to overpower the Candyfolk.

Après match, Coach Sam doled out some scrumptious, homemade Chocolate Banana Bread and IT WAS KILLER.

Real men bake- here’s the recipe.

Sam’s Chocolate Banana Bread

 Shit You’ll Need:

  • 2 cups (2 sticks) unsalted butter, at room temperature, plus more for pan
  • 1 cup granulated sugar
  • 1 cup brown sugar, packed (settle down, Godsy)
  • 4 large eggs
  • 2 teaspoons baking soda
  • 3 cups unbleached flour
  • 2 teaspoons fine (opposed to coarse) salt
  • 2 cups very ripe bananas (practically rotten), mashed/puréed
  • 1 cup sour cream
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 1 cup cocoa powder or chocolate chips or Heath Bar pieces – whatever (I don’t care)
  • 1 cup chopped walnuts, pecans or hazelnuts (totally optional)
  • 1 tablespoon sea salt


Preheat your oven to 350 degrees and grease two 9″ x 5″ loaf pans

Cream the butter and sugar in an electric stand or hand mixer and then incorporate the eggs (it’s not necessary to beat the eggs beforehand).

In a separate bowl, combine the dry ingredients; preferably with a whisk but however you do it is just fine.

Slowly add the dry ingredients from that bowl I was just talking about – you remember that bowl, right? All right, so now that the dry ingredients and the creamed ingredients are combined, it’s time to add the sour cream, vanilla, cocoa, nuts and BANANAS. If the batter seems too soupy, add some more cocoa powder or flour. If it seems too stiff, add more sour cream.

Right, so it’s time to bake now. Divide the batter between the two greased pans and slide said pans into your preheated oven on a middle rack. After about ten or fifteen minutes, sprinkle the sea salt over the tops of your soon to be loaves of Sam’s Chocolate Banana Bread. It’s going to take about an hour for these puppies to bake, depending on your oven. After a half hour, rotate the pans to ensure an even bake. Test for doneness by dipping a toothpick or spaghetti strand into the center of the loaf. The tester object thing should come out clean or close to it. Let the bread cool on its side in the pan for a bit and then on a rack.

( Reel 2 Reel – 11 / Pete’s – 20 )


Field #1: Crown Vic 86ers vs. Black Betty (Stache)

This was the proverbial “Tale of Two Teams” on Sunday.  Black Betty was coming off an embarrassing defeat in the rematch of the 2013 WSL Championship Game against Spike Hill.  Crown Vic, on the other hand, was riding a 2-game winning streak and looked to capitalize on a scuffling Betty team.

Did the Mike Camarra post-game pep talk last week help?  It sure seemed to, as their lineup jumped out to an early 8-3 lead on the 86ers, led by the power bats of Andrew Killian and “Lumber” Jake Levine.  Crown Vic was not ready to fold and took the lead in the top of the 8th, with some help from a Justin Tesa‘s homer and “5 for 5” Filthy Jeff  circling the bases like a mad man.  MalloryVP and Mayor Al Buttah also combined for 7 hits and some stellar defense for the Vickies.

I really tried to follow the action detailed in the recap notes from Kevin Green Light Belz, but I am convinced he took a few too many caffeine pills prior to writing them.  I understand there may have been a “a fucked play at the plate where JB$ collided with mostly ground, somehow found the plate with 2 fingers and tied the game.”  This probably happened in the bottom of the 8th inning and BB then proceeded to tack on a few more runs to secure a victory.  Chelsey “Rose all day” Fitz was awarded the game ball for her solid effort on the day.  Way to go Chelsey!

Congrats to all the WSL dads (and moms) and their very understanding families that watched all the recreational softball action in the park Sunday!  Happy Father’s Day!

( Crown Victoria – 11/ Black Betty -13 )

Field #2: RBar vs. Good Co. (Shortz)

This house of bars was close throughout (or what Cap’n Calfs called “tits for tat”) but in the end, Good Co. was “laid the fuck out” Doug Stamper-style.

RBar put up 4 in the 1st thanks to a 2-run double by Bobby, plus RBI singles by Matt and Jay. But Good Co immediately responded with 6 to make things interesting.

RBI singles by Jerome and Pete put R Bar back on top in the second and extend their lead later after Nate hit a 2-run triple and another RBI single by Matt.

Many a Pink had their otherwise “up the middle lasers” gobbled up by the incomparable Bubbs on the hump.

Good Co. got their shit together (notably by Cap’n Calfs who hit a special “oppo-special” HR) and by the end of the 8th, came back and closed the gap to 1-run.

In a 9th inning 2-out lightning strike, the Bums tacked on 5, highlighted by Matt’s 2-run tater (5th of the season) and a second RBI single by Bobby.

The Pink Underwoods were defeated this time but will remember this wise saying for next time:

“For those of us climbing to the top of the food chain, there can be no mercy. There is but one rule: hunt or be hunted.”

( RBar – 16 / Good Co. – 10 )


Field #1: AT United vs. Gibson (Stache)

Welcome Back, kid.

Every week we’re waiting for it to happen, and every week the Gibson’s opponent wags their finger like Dikembe Mutumbo.  AT United showed up on Sunday determined to put a dad-sized whooping on the Gibbys for Father’s Day.  Would the Gibson finally show off their own dad-strength and be able to put up a fight?

ATU got a nice mid-season injection of offense, with the return of Daniel “D Nasty” Chaupis to the lineup, following a long recovery from wrist surgery.  He didn’t need long to return to form, as he dropped his first bomb of the season.  ATU teammate Petemo was quick to point out that “(his own) homerun late in the game, went a little further than D Nasty’s.”  I guess you don’t get any slack in the ATU dugout for being injured?  Of course, Lauck didn’t make an out all day and Jimmy “Two Strikes” filled in with a stellar pitching performance for the missing G Slack.  The AT’s appear to be righting the ship and are pointing it right towards the top of the Fashion South division.

Adrian and the Gibson crew have been close in recent weeks, while falling short of a much-needed victory to right their own ship…which is so off course that it’s somewhere off the Ivory Coast.  There were some tales of highlight reel catches and sick double plays, but the 24-5 final tally suggests they were all for naught.  Better luck next week.

( ATU – 24 / Gibson -5 )

Field #2: 3 Kings vs. Clemerica (Stryker)

What do you get when you strip away all the trash talk, piñata and patriotism?  Honestly, you get a medieval beheading struck by the sword of a King…more specifically, 3 Kings!

Prior to game time, both teams stood proud on their respective baselines for a rousing rendition of our National Anthem. That would possibly be the last proud moment of the afternoon for Clem’s skipper, Breeze.

Feeding off the emotions surrounding the last regular season game of 2014 for 3K’s favorite son, Billy Gruarin, the Kings hung 3 runs on the board in the top of the first, capped off by a solo homer from Chris Valerio.

If that wasn’t enough to take the air completely out of the Battleship sails, I stepped up to the plate in the 2nd inning to face my arch nemesis, Stryker. In an effort to flip the script, I stepped into the box and executed my own version of the now infamous “pause”, by balancing on my back foot awaiting his lengthy delivery. An obviously flustered Stryker quickly lost his normally perfect balance and delivered ball one to the plate. A rare crack in the armor for the always cool hurler? Although I eventually lined a base hit to right field, that first pitch battle signified the beginning of the end for Clemerica. 3K’s went on to bludgeon the boys (and girls) in black behind the big bats of Billy “Part-Time” Gruarin and Thomas Santoro. Francesca and Jose “Gunna” Martinez both added to the massacre with 3 hits each of their own.

The only memorable highlight of the day for the Clemericans came in the form of a diving trap in center, which umpire (and notorious woman hater) Kevin Belz blew the call on to rob Joyce Vargas of an RBI single. I suppose there may have been a few more somewhat positive moments, but the Battleship’s first mate, Stryker, has been awfully quiet since Sunday.

Better luck next time Clemericans.  Time to patch up the holes in that life raft and get ready for the Loggers next week.
( 3 Kings – 15 / Clemerica -3 )


Field #1: Loggers vs. Turkey’s Nest (Shortz)

The game looked a little something like this.

Loggers lose their chainsaws 🙁

Actually, the little I do know about this game is courtesy of Turkey’s Nest. Shafer took Father’s Day to a whole new level by hitting a bomb with his daughter in attendance, and the rest of the Nesters followed suit.

Shaffer’s Chest #nofilter

The Nest were also unshakable in the field, Korny locked it down at third. Mitch had awesome over the shoulder catch at first.

As for the Loggers…I have no idea. And I warned you what would happen if you were lazy on content.

I miss you already, Decker.

( Loggers – 3/ Turkey’s Nest -11 )

Field #2: Turkey’s Teachers vs. Brooklyn Bowl (Stryker)

Add Bowling to your syllabus! You’re doing it wrong!

The Teachers were hungry, no starving for a win since they haven’t tasted one in 5 games.  The Bowlers were a few pins short this week, but looked to add to their fairly impressive record.

The Teachers drew first blood in this one, scoring one in the top of the first, but the Bowlers came back with a Turkey of their own, striking 3 times in the bottom of the inning.  TT tried to stay strong and found themselves in a 4-4 tie going into the 5th.  The Holy Rollers struck again (twice) in the bottom of the inning to take the lead.

TT loaded the bases with no outs, but couldn’t plate a single run, marking the turning point of the game. The Ten Pins had two put-outs at home with slick fielding from 3B Ryan Bort and C Palma Blank. After that, the Teachers’s were demoralized and BB opened up a can of whoop ass on them, batting around the order and scoring 7.  Ryan Bort continued his hot streak by hitting for the cycle in his first 4 ABs. He ended the day with 10 total bases, 4 RBIs, and 4 runs scored. That’s what I call a perfect game.  Palma was 4 –5 with a double and The Teachers catcher CC had a great day at the plate.  The Teachers failed again and lost by *GASP* nine. Maybe it’s time for summer school?

( Teachers – 5 / Brooklyn Bowl – 14 )

This week’s recap brought to you by:


Till next time,


The New New Additions


Powered by Facebook Comments