Standings

Joe Godsy Division
NORTH W L PCT RF RA
Spike Hill 6 4 .600 122 113
Roebling Sports Club 5 4 .556 86 78
Turkey's Nest 5 4 .556 91 92
AT All-Stars 2 7 .222 67 93
 
SOUTH W L PCT RF RA
Gibson 8 1 .889 118 77
St. Anselm 5 4 .556 82 68
R Bar 4 7 .364 109 168
A Bar Runaways 1 7 .125 44 67
 
Joe Fashion Division
NORTH W L PCT RF RA
The Bedford Yetis 6 4 .600 103 108
Clems 5 4 .556 96 93
Loggers 4 6 .400 89 97
The Gutter 86ers 4 6 .400 121 129
 
SOUTH W L PCT RF RA
3 Kings 8 1 .889 169 60
Kilo Bravo 7 3 .700 118 97
Parkview Scorpions 6 4 .600 118 93
Turkey's Teachers 0 10 .000 78 178

Schedule

Week 12 - Jul 01
11:00 Roebling Sports Club @ Turkey's Teachers 1
A Bar Runaways @ The Bedford Yetis 2
1:00 Spike Hill @ Parkview Scorpions 1
AT All-Stars @ Kilo Bravo 2
3:00 The Gutter 86ers @ R Bar 1
Gibson @ Clems 2
5:00 St. Anselm @ Loggers 1
Turkey's Nest @ 3 Kings 2

Last Week's Results

Week 11 - Jun 24
Gibson0 @ 3 Kings 0
Loggers0 @ Turkey's Nest 0
R Bar5 @ Kilo Bravo 16
AT All-Stars0 @ The Bedford Yetis 0
Clems0 @ A Bar Runaways 0
St. Anselm0 @ Parkview Scorpions 0
Roebling Sports Club0 @ The Gutter 86ers 0

Week 7 – PREVIEW

Thu, May 29, 2014

Aaaaand we’re back. I think it’s fair to assume that after a beautiful Memorial Day weekend, the grounds crew will find the fields extra riddled with broken glass, needles, and if they are super lucky, human feces. You know, just kids being kids.

So let’s get out there and reclaim McCarren with our own feces! Who’s with us?!

11am

Field #1: Turkey’s Teachers vs. Spike Hill (Shortz)

Before I start, I’d like to give a big shout out to Mike Powell for becoming a D-to-the-A-to-the-D-D-Y this week. I was originally told that Powell himself gave birth, and had already made the graphic before we received a corrected statement. Onto my preview!

These two teams may not have played in recent WSL history, but very few know of their long-standing relationship. It all started back in 2009 when O’Malley took Advanced Garage Management at the Automotive High School. One day, as Haz was walking past his classroom, he saw that O’Malley’s Ratcheting Box Wrench skills were no different than coaching a slow-pitch softball team. O’Malley was instructed to gather a team for secret softball classes every Thursday night to learn the ins and outs of the game. Lead by Haz, Neufeld and Wulf, it was an uphill battle. Leo failed the “which item is used to hit the ball” test (he chose a slinky), Mo thought throwing the glove at people (sometimes her own teammates) was how you got people out and Kane would insist on crawling to the bases like a cat.

But with a lot of hard work, the Teacher’s teachings prevailed just in time for the 2010 WSL expansion play in. But in a cruel twist of fate, the Teachers would play O’Malley’s team, now called Spike Hill. As an outside pitch slowly crept towards O’Malley, a single glistening tear rolled down his cheek. O’Malley whispered in Haz’s direction, “I’m sorry, sweet teacher”, and smashed the ball oppo for a homer. At that moment, Haz knew his students had become the teachers. They both would make it into the league that year, but it was clear the alliance was over when Haz chose “Teachers” as their team name.

This is 100% true, so don’t bother asking either team about it as it’s still a painful moment in WSL history.

Field #2: Loggers vs. Reel2Reel (Decker/Shortz)
Shortz: Hello Decker…Fancy meeting you here. Are you excited to battle on Sunday? I know I am!

Decker: I sure am. The Loggers suffered from a lack of lumber last week, but thanks to heavy drinking and minor drug use, we will have long forgotten our travails by Sunday.

Shortz: Is that a new Loggers batting technique?

Decker: We are looking for any advantage we can get. Our plan is to start by using the “A-Rod method” and then perhaps graduate to the “Offerman” if that doesn’t work.

Shortz: Nice sportsmanlike strategy. Ours will be a little more spooky.

Shortz: Yes, we plan to give y’all a reel scare. And if that don’t work, we’ll have to resort to something more along the lines of this!

 

Decker: Sorry Shortz, That tactic won’t work. We ain’t afraid of no ghosts (or water).

Shortz: I’m not so sure about that, Decker. Y’all might be afraid of this ghost of season’s past. (Mic drop)

Shortz: Regardless of the outcome, I do hope y’all will have a post game toast with us at the Gibson, as opposed to slinking away to your usual watering hole, you anti-social aristocrats.

Decker: We aren’t anti-social aristocrats, we just like good food with our beer and K&L has many delicious food options.

Shortz: Quit plugging your sponsor and hang with your league, damn you.

Shortz: Well, wherever you and your sponsor-loving team end up post-match, I wish you best of luck and that 1) you win 2) we win 3) a natural disaster hits and we’re all washed away.

1pm
Field #1: AT United vs. Crown Vic 86ers (Stryker)
This should be a real…..game, with one team winning and one team losing. Crown Vic will look to 86 United and AT will try to 86 all the beers in the cooler (formerly know as) El Drunko Tanko. ATU is gonna order up 4 home runs with 2 sides of triples, a well done double (against the chef’s recommendation) and 6 singles. As the Crown Vic kitchen gets slammed, the 86er’s will try to field all of AT’s orders as Chef Al “on my toast i like” Buttah calls out directions to his cooks from the line. There’s gonna be 27 defensive plays ALL DAY for AT and G Black will not accept any substitutions on his Pitcher’s Platter. Halfway through lunch service Jake, JL, and Shafer are gonna show up with a party of 8 and no reservation. They will demand a window seat by El Drunko Tanko (now exploring life in the real world) and put all of their drinks on Tanko’s tab. I predict a real food fight in this one and everyone is gonna end up sloppy. This preview is brought to you by my tenure as a short order cook in Tim’s Shipwreck Diner. Sling that hash and turn those tables, boys and girls.
Field #2: 3 Kings vs. R Bar (Stache)

The Bums will drink your milkshake. Then your beer.

Look out McCarren Park because it’s about to be open season on pedestrians this Sunday.  If the WSL Home Run Leader Board is any indication of what we can expect, there will (most likely) blood.  R Bar and Three Kings feature 6 of the top 15 home run hitters in the league, the 2 highest team HR totals and (not surprisingly) the 2 top-scoring offenses.

Can Bubbs add to his league-leading 10 HRs or will Billy make up some ground and close the gap between 1st and 2nd?  Maybe someone unexpected will hit connect on the deciding shot on Sunday?  Which outfielder will make the big play to prevent these monsters from clearing the bases?  This very well might be the game to watch this week…see you there!

3pm
Field #1: Brooklyn Bowl vs. Pete’s Candy Store (Shortz)
The last time these two clubs met, Brooklyn Bowl defeated Pete’s and their now defunct, “Trifecta of Awesome” (pours out my iced coffee then immediately regrets it).

Both teams have something to prove after narrowly edging out The Gibson. My sources tell me that during their Memorial Day weekend recharge, each team holed up at their respective sponsor bars for respective rom-com movie marathons.

Brooklyn Bowl: The Beautician and the Beast, Good Luck Chuck, Bride Wars, Mister Wrong

Pete’s Candy Store: Serendipity (x6)

We’ll see if Serendipitous Sam (yup- that’s your name now) can inspire his team to candy crush their opponents or if the Bowlers can keep their winning streak alive.

Field #2: Turkey’s Nest vs. Soft Spot (Decker)
The Spring Turkey Seasonends this Sunday, giving the Yetis one last chance to bag their two bearded Turkey limit. The Spring Turkey Season ends this Sunday, giving the Yetis one last chance to bag their two bearded Turkey limit.Toolan and the Sasquatches will come armed with metal bats as they try to turn Shafer and his guinea fowl into next week’s lunchmeat.  Despite a topsy-turvy start, the Yetis are coming off a big victory against the struggling Battleship. Pizza, Zak and the other Soft Spots hope to ride that momentum to victory this Sunday. While the Pinks ruffled their feathers in Week 6, the Nesters are still flying high.  They can no longer squawk “undefeated” in the huddle, but Mitch Sparkles, JDisco and the rest of the rafter are ready for the hunted to become the hunter.
5pm
Field #1: Gibson vs. Good Company (Stache)

The Gibson will be slathering this on for Sunday…for UV protection!

This late game features 2 teams that are trending distinctly upward.  Good Co. is riding a 3 game winning streak, while their offense has really started to click.  The Pinks have put up almost 50 runs over their last 2 decisive victories and seem to be poised for a run at the Joe Fashion North Division crown.  Wally and Co. are surging up the WSL HR Leader Board too, with Drew & Tommy both sitting in the top 10.

In the opposing dugout will be the much-improved, 2014 Gibson squad.  Powered by the big bats of Joe & Greg, these are not your grandfather’s Gibbys.  Coming off 2 very close contests against perennial WSL contenders Black Betty and Pete’s, the Gibson is looking to get off the schnide this week and start a winning streak of their own.  If not, there’s always cold beer and a window seat down the street…right?

Field #2: Clemerica vs. Black Betty (Stryker)

C’mon Kev-Merica!! Show ’em who’s boss!

I dub this match the Old Timers Classic, as two of the few remaining OG teams face off this week in the 5pm slot.  Speaking of Old Timers, the Betty’s are finally showing their age this season as they are off to a mediocre 4 and 2 start and coming off a brutal 4 run loss to BKB. For those of you who don’t know, Black Betty was a popular discotheque back in the 70’s in the West Village.  They moved to Williamsburg in 85′ but disco was dead and they closed their doors within the month.  Clem’s, on the other hand, has been and still is one of the finest institutions in the neighborhood, well respected and loved by everyone.

We’ll see how many innings Kev “just for men” Belz can last on the mound before his Cialis injection wears off  (yes injection, into his pitching arm, so he can “throw the ball hard”).  Ace Pitcher Stryker, the young, virile (yes im still virile with only 1.25 balls)  for the Clemericans has predicted at least 3 strikeouts on the ancient Betty squad.  Captain Breezey has been out in the Rockaways the past two weeks at a secret training base where he has been “handling” hundreds of pounds of meat, jerking everything he can get his hands on.  He also set up a homemade batting cage that launches 20lb. briskets instead of balls.  I heard the Camarras tried really hard to get this game moved up in the time slot because they’re going to miss their Early Bird Special at the Sizzler. Heard it was gonna be a real special dinner, too.  I believe their kid is turning 22 this week. Man, time flies.   Battleship forever, Betty’s never. Lets get it on.

This week’s preview brought to by:

See ya out there, hopefully wearing these ^

Toodles,

The New New Additions

 

 

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