Standings

Joe Godsy Division
NORTH W L PCT RF RA
Spike Hill 6 4 .600 122 113
Roebling Sports Club 5 4 .556 86 78
Turkey's Nest 5 4 .556 91 92
AT All-Stars 2 7 .222 67 93
 
SOUTH W L PCT RF RA
Gibson 8 1 .889 118 77
St. Anselm 5 4 .556 82 68
R Bar 4 7 .364 109 168
A Bar Runaways 1 7 .125 44 67
 
Joe Fashion Division
NORTH W L PCT RF RA
The Bedford Yetis 6 4 .600 103 108
Clems 5 4 .556 96 93
Loggers 4 6 .400 89 97
The Gutter 86ers 4 6 .400 121 129
 
SOUTH W L PCT RF RA
3 Kings 8 1 .889 169 60
Kilo Bravo 7 3 .700 118 97
Parkview Scorpions 6 4 .600 118 93
Turkey's Teachers 0 10 .000 78 178

Schedule

Week 12 - Jul 01
11:00 Roebling Sports Club @ Turkey's Teachers 1
A Bar Runaways @ The Bedford Yetis 2
1:00 Spike Hill @ Parkview Scorpions 1
AT All-Stars @ Kilo Bravo 2
3:00 The Gutter 86ers @ R Bar 1
Gibson @ Clems 2
5:00 St. Anselm @ Loggers 1
Turkey's Nest @ 3 Kings 2

Last Week's Results

Week 11 - Jun 24
Gibson0 @ 3 Kings 0
Loggers0 @ Turkey's Nest 0
R Bar5 @ Kilo Bravo 16
AT All-Stars0 @ The Bedford Yetis 0
Clems0 @ A Bar Runaways 0
St. Anselm0 @ Parkview Scorpions 0
Roebling Sports Club0 @ The Gutter 86ers 0

Week 6 – PREVIEW

Thu, May 15, 2014

The weather this Sunday looks promising enough to start packing my SFP 100. If it gets too warm, have your teammate cool you off Lundqvist – style.

 11am

Field #1: Gibson vs. Pete’s (Decker)

Sam’s favorite pick up line?

Coming off a close loss to the Commish’s crew, Grambo’s Gibson faces off against a Pete’s Candy Store squad that only mustered 1 run last week.  On the back of the mighty Greg “let’s win at all” Kost and Joltin’ Joe Cavanagh, Gibson has their best chance yet to end a futility streak that has lasted almost as many years as the number of beers PCS Coach Sam expects to drink before this 11 AM fixture.  Ado, Ados and the other Bullets may not be on the precipice of greatness, but it’s clear that they are much improved and capable of competing with any WSL team.

Although Pete’s hasn’t scored many runs this season, their suffocating defense has kept them in every game. Blue’s Clues expects the defense will stay consistent Sunday morning, but he’s banking on Anthony, Ed and Chad to provide some offense as they try and fight their way out of the Joe Fashion North Division basement.

Will Pete’s make a statement against the resurgent Gibson, or is this the week we all breathe a sigh of relief for the hard luck redshirts?  Grab some coffee and/or a beer and make your way to the fields early to catch it.

Field #2: Clemerica vs. Soft Spot (Stryker)

Ahoy, Yetis!

Pizza vs. Flamingo, Ferry Captain vs. Naval Pirate, Yetti vs. Big Ship. An uncanny matchup as these veteran teams square off, both demanding to win.  This will be The Battleship’s first 11am game this year and we are really lookin forward to it. We always play our best when we’re still hungover/drunk and angry.  I’ll be heading to the fields good and early to beat the rush to Urban Rustic’s toilet where I always do my best pre game meditation.  The Yetis will look to roll behind Pizza and his bionic knee (what’s that brace made out of anyway, pepperoni or meatball?)  while the Clemericans will load up all cannons and try to fire at the Yeti’s soft spot.

All hands will be on deck for this one, a rare occurrence for the Battleship this year.  However this game turns out I know both teams will walk off the field together heads and beers held high, where we will enjoy the last 11 hours of Sunday.  Soft Spot, we can probably crawl to every bar in the league after the game (except Good Co. and Spike Hill).  

Battleship!!! We must unite!! We owe our faithful Captain a win. We can prolong it no more!! Its Time to Time UP!!!!!

1pm

Field #1: Turkey’s Nest vs. Good Co (Stryker)

Cesar has been on a strict raw diet

I found out when you scramble up the letters of these two teams it spells out COY TESTES RUN GOOD, coincidence? I think not.

The Turkeys are soaring like a condor riding a dragon with an unbelievable 5 and 0 start, while Good Co. is coming off a game where they played a shorthanded Clem’s (they won).  This will be a real battle of strong wills, strong heads, and strong mouths.  We’ll see who loses their temper first, Shirtless Sam, Jordan or the Empanada Guy.  Theres gonna be a lot of hard wood gripped with strong hands, and a lot of balls cradled in finger tips.  I saw Jake, JL, and Shafer’s new band play this week.  Gotta tell you, best Spin Doctors cover band I ever heard. Those subway stations really have great accoustics.  After a smashing rendition of Two Princes, Shafer told me he was going to play on his knees and blindfolded this week to try and even out the playing field.  If you ask me he’s just as comfortable on his knees and you know he’s a pro at finding balls in the dark.

Cesar will be looking to ground the Turkeys from the mound all day and will probably go 9 as long as he doesn’t give birth to the babies in his lower legs.  We’ll see which teams soft balls can beat around the bush longer and seal the deal at the end of the game. Will it be Good Co…. with their pink shirts, their powerful upper bodies (lower for Ces) and their…bar?  Or will it be the Turkeys…the native birds with their proud demeanor and protective instincts.  Did you know the wild turkey was Benjamin Franklin’s preference for the national bird, not the bald eagle that is more of a scavenger and will rob other birds and animals for prey.  Filthy eagles.

Field #2: Brooklyn Bowl vs. Black Betty (Shortz)

In last season’s inter-league play, the Bowlers beat Betty by a touchdown. I suspect the Betties will not let lightning strike twice this Sunday. I also suspect that Jake will hit 5 more home runs so Justin will have no choice but to correctly add him to the home run leader board.

Looking to strip away his nice guy/green light image (and perhaps inspired by Coach Camarra’s upcoming fight night), Kevin will be donning a new look for this Sunday. Too nice to go full “Hollywood”, he’s opted instead to be referred to as Mr. Belz-merica.

This could be just the distraction needed to finally flat line the cardiac kids…Or Brooklyn Bowl will once more squeak by. What am I a wizard? Go watch the damn game!

3pm

Field #1: Loggers vs. R Bar (Decker)

No No, really. It’ll be a good game. Seriously.

The Brooklyn Loggers played RBar 3 times last season, but weren’t able to walk away with a single win against Nailz, Knapp and the other raucous Bums.  This season is different and despite their record, they have the personnel and the wherewithal to upset the team O’Malley likes to refer to as the 2nd best team in the Joe Godsy North Division.

The Loggers hope to bounce back from the Mother’s Day Massacre with hits, more hits, and steady dose of defense.  Despite a few crucial absences, Coach Shatterack looks to get the offense rolling with steady contributions from Crash and Saris and expects an amoeba-like effort in the field.  Coming off 4 consecutive losses, the Loggers are hungry for a win, and plan to get there this week against the Bums in Blue.

And speaking of the Bums, have you seen their power numbers this season? Bubbs Conners leads the WSL heading into week 6 with 7 dingers, but that doesn’t even account for half the teams’ total!  The Bums have a plan this Sunday and that plan is to keep on mashing.  They are a force to be reckoned with and they’ll be ready for a fight.

Field #2: Turkey’s Teachers vs. Crown Vic 86ers (Stache)

Don’t make Andre angry. You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.

I hope you all got a chance to read the thrilling recap that Shortz provided for the Reel2Reel vs. Turkey’s Teachers (non)contest from last Sunday.  The Teachers may have forfeited the game, but Haz may very well have saved the league from imminent doom.  With Commish Holland’s safety no longer in danger, let’s see what group of TNT mercenaries makes it to the field this week to face off with the Crown Vic 86ers.

The 86ers lost a tough battle with 3 Kings this past week, to fall to 1-4 on the season.  Mayor Al always comes prepared with the positivity and I know his team will be ready to to go on Sunday.  The question is…will they be going to take to the field or directly the bar?  Guess that depends on Secret Agent Haz?  I’m certainly hoping that they play the game, because I have never watched an episode of 24 in my life and I have no idea how to continue with this established theme!  Maybe I can just rundown Sgt Andre’s best heckling moments of 2014?  NOBODY wants that, so please field a team this week Mr. Haz.  We’re all counting on you!

 

5pm

Field #1: 3 Kings vs. Spike Hill (Stache)

Aww, Stache i know you’re a fan but you shouldn’t have. No really….you shouldn’t have.

Spike Hill bounced 3 Kings from the playoffs and marched on to hoist the 2013 Joe “Fashion” Fiorentino Williamsburg Softball League Championship Trophy, thus beginning the long and cold “winter of our discontent” over at the tattoo shop.  O’Malley’s powerful squad from the Hill left the Kings feeling disenfranchised and hungry for more.  Struggling to hold true to his moral ideals, Coach Ethan “Stache” Allen eventually succumbs to the pressure and steals away  the town drunk, Denis Cheezball, from a local rival.  After a long and winding chain of corruption and manipulation to build the foundation, 3Ks rises to a respectable level within the community.

Steinbeck warned us of this path back in 1961.  Will the story end in tragedy or triumph?  Deportation?  Robbery?  Revenge?  Alcoholism (likely)?  Suicide?  Tune in Sunday to find out.

FYI…I don’t remember any of the actual details from this novel.  High school was a LONG time ago.  I’m just trying to make Shortz proud.  She loves this sort of shit!

Field #2: AT United vs. Reel2Reel (Shortz)

We’re…soooo…happy.

Instead of discussing how ATU swept Reel 2 Reel last season and took a couple of our players this year, I’ve decided to dedicate my preview to PeteMo and Lauck, in an open letter.

Dear PeteMo and Lauck,

It took me a few weeks, but I’m now aware that we no longer play on the same team. (Jonsey the II and Sandor will no longer give me confused looks for referring to them as Lauck and PeteMo).

Now these tips may sound a bit belated, so use them as reminders from your former teammate and confidant.

1. There’s a dumpster your team brings to the field. It is filled with boozy goodness. It may also be filled with Rophenol, so I suggest you steer clear. The last time I drank out there, I found myself wandering the streets…of Elko, Nevada.

2. Noise. You will hear bullhorns and vuvelzellas throughout your games. Don’t let it distract you. You are at the park to play serious softball, not let your hair down and cut loose. I repeat. Fight the urge to have fun.

3. Insider information. Perhaps you find comfort in knowing where we all hit, but maybe you don’t. Most of the team are rookies, and the few of us who stayed completely switched up our hitting. For instance, I bat righty now and Coach Hogan doesn’t even use a bat (it’s really beautiful to see). Ugh- why am I telling you this? Don’t tell anyone, okay?

4. And lastly, friendship. Even though you switched over to a rival organization, we are still best friends. I repeat- BEST FRIENDS. Case in point, Nate’s been on that team of a few years now and his nickname is “my best friend”. I suggest y’all follow suit so when I see you on Sunday, I hope for a sturdy handshake, a salute (or a bow & curtsy).

I hope you find solace in your backup new home. Be well and don’t forget to write.

Love you. Mean it.

Shortz 

P.S. WE’RE GONNA RIP YOUR HEADS OFF!!!!!!!!!!!

 This week’s preview is brought to you by:

See you suckers out there!

Toodles,

The New New Additions

 

Comments

Powered by Facebook Comments