Joe Godsy Division
Parkview Scorpions 11 1 .917 196 82
McCarren Hotel Titans 7 5 .583 135 112
St. Anselm 6 5 .545 131 95
Turkey's Nest AT 4 8 .333 106 116
Parkview Suzies 10 1 .909 111 81
The Bedford Yetis 6 6 .500 119 173
Pete's Candy Store 5 7 .417 129 132
Turkey's Nest 1 11 .083 57 168
Joe Fashion Division
Gibson 9 3 .750 151 97
Roebling Sports Club 7 5 .583 145 116
Clems 5 6 .455 110 110
The Gutter 86ers 1 10 .091 75 179
Kilo Bravo 8 3 .727 133 76
Echo Bravo 8 3 .727 137 75
Loggers 4 8 .333 107 127
Carmine's Bombers 1 11 .083 82 185


Week 13 - Jul 10
11:00 Carmine's Bombers @ St. Anselm 1
Echo Bravo @ Parkview Scorpions 2
1:00 Turkey's Nest AT @ Kilo Bravo 1
Loggers @ McCarren Hotel Titans 2
3:00 The Gutter 86ers @ Turkey's Nest 1
Gibson @ Parkview Suzies 2
5:00 Clems @ Pete's Candy Store 1
Roebling Sports Club @ The Bedford Yetis 2

Last Week's Results

Week 12 - Jun 26
The Bedford Yetis19 @ The Gutter 86ers 13
Pete's Candy Store16 @ Roebling Sports Club 6
Turkey's Nest9 @ Gibson 10
Parkview Scorpions21 @ Carmine's Bombers 5
McCarren Hotel Titans10 @ Echo Bravo 11
Kilo Bravo15 @ St. Anselm 14
Parkview Suzies14 @ Clems 13
Turkey's Nest AT4 @ Loggers 9


Tue, Apr 29, 2014

Sunday was bursting with close games, extra innings and near fights after sundown (oh WSL, how you keep us young/stupid). But as the week 3 dust settles, what remains? Only two teams have hung onto their perfect records with some others perhaps not yet realizing that the season has started. Here’s your venti sized, chai with low fat soy milk flavored recap!


Field #1: Soft Spot vs. Black Betty (Decker)

Dainty Play of the Week goes to Holland!

Black Betty took an overpowering 2-game lead on every other team in the Joe Fashion North Division on Sunday, winning 14-3 against the Soft Spot Yetis.  Soft Spot jumped out to a 2-0 lead on Toolan’s towering HR, but they weren’t able to put another run on the board until Baby Boy’s homer at the end of an already lost game.  Coach Zak had this to say: “I can’t remember anything…except that…everything was terrible [and] the sky was falling.”  Veteran Pizza noted that it just wasn’t the Yetis day, but that they’d be ready to get back in the win column when they meet Gibson next week.

As for Black Betty, their defense was once again scintillating (seriously, their team ERA is 5.00) and their offense is potent. Dave “Teach” Pretto caught everything hit to LF and hit like a man possessed.  He also got his kids ice cream during foul balls and counseled some TNT substitutes while playing.  “Commish” Holland  was a stellar 4 for 5 at the plate and made some nifty plays up the middle.  Aidan ‘don’t sleep on him’ Sleeper hit a massive bomb and stole home on a ball stuck in an icky puddle.  Them Betties look unsurprisingly formidable as they head into their week 4 matchup against the WSL’s only other undefeated squad, Turkey’s Nest.

( Soft Spot: 5 / Black Betty: 17 )

Field #2: Good Co vs. Pete’s  (Shortz)

This hitters league was alive and well on field 2, which from the naked eye appeared to be less of a game and more of a home-run derby.

Cap’n Calfs got the moon shot party started with an early 2-run tater, only to be matched by Chad and Anthony, who both went yard respectively. Not to be outdone by his opponents and teammate Drew who also had a four-bagger (have I used enough home run jargon yet?), Calfs smashed his second tape-measure blast (okay- now I’m done) of the game. He now waits with baited breath for the home run leader board to be resurrected.

As for the game itself, the Pinks were sitting pretty until Pete’s took the lead in the 7th inning with equal parts at-the-plate awesomeness and defensively locking it down(ish).

Alas, there’d be no Pink lady luck in Good Co.’s corner after a controversial call regarding the GTodd “intentional drop” rule 6.05L, at 2nd Base with 2 outs. With new life, Pete’s smacked in 5 additional runs and walked away with a capital “W”…or as Coach Sam describes it, denied a chance to bat in the bottom of the ninth and further run up the score”.

But the real winner was 3rd baseman, Ed Carroll. Making his 2014 debut for the Candyfolks, he recorded 900 infield assists and blasted a game ending home run as the masses looked on with awe and wonder. Welcome back, Ed.

( Good Co: 7 / Petes: 11 )


Field #1: Loggers vs. AT United (Decker)

AT United squeaked past the Brooklyn Loggers 19-18 in the bottom of the eleventh when Danger Dan came through with a perfectly placed blast in the right center gap, but it’s what preceded that play that made this Joe Fashion South Division slugfest the game of the week.

In a game of back and forth, the Loggers took control with a tremendous team effort, catapulted by mighty shots from rookie 3B Crash Heitczman and the ever-shorn Jeff X.  They also saw a luminous offensive performance from ex-AT All-Star Brian Belluomini, who fell a double short of the cycle, and the feisty Logger ladies, Jenn X and Kristen, the nexus of the Logger lineup.

With the Drunk Tank indirectly suspended, AT United had to rely on the fantastic performance of 3B Nate “Shortzy’s best friend”, who hit 2 huge HRs and made spectacular diving catch in the early innings.  They were down 18-11 heading into the bottom of the 6th, but then Lauck arrived and the tables turned.  AT United united to make a courageous comeback, chipping away with runs every inning until the game was tied 18-18 to end regulation.  After nine innings of sloppy defense on both sides, neither team was going to make a mistake now, but Lauck hit a one-out triple followed by the aforementioned walk-off single.

The Loggers left their hearts on the field, but this time AT prevailed.  Week 16 just got a whole lot more exciting.

( Loggers: 18 / ATU: 19 )

Field #2: Turkey’s Teachers vs. 3 Kings (Stache)

Rebranding, ‘Stache?

There was no way to look at this matchup without some uncertainty.  Turkey’s Nest Teachers had just schooled AT United, who 3 Kings lost to in Week 1, and 3 Kings had just conquered the Loggers, who the Teachers lost to the same week.  To add some mystery to the equation, both teams were not getting perfect attendance awards on Sunday…including the unexcused absences of TNT Principal Haz and 3Ks class clown Nick Tomeo!

On to the game!

TNT answered the first period bell with 3 runs in the top half, led by a clean-up blast from slugger Andre Rivera.  Not to be outdone, the Kings answered with 5 in the bottom half and broke it open with another 8 in the 2nd inning.  The 3K’s early outburst was keyed by Billy Gruarin’s 3rd HR of the season.  The Teachers continued to fight and scrap behind the table-setting hustle of Joe and Effrain, who combined for 6 hits and 5 runs.  On this day, the Kings offense was just not going to be denied.  Jose Martinez hit his first HR of the year, to go with 5 RBIs, while the “Rook” Denis Bramley and “Motown” Mike McNelis (good thing I write under a pseudonym) went back to back in the 6th to cap off the 3 Kings scoring.

The final tally may have been a bit gaudy, but this game remained friendly and competitive until the end.  I expect nothing less from the Fashion South division this season!  Pure class.

( Teachers: 8 / 3 Kings: 24 )


Field #1: Spike Hill vs. Reel2Reel (Shortz)

Whatever you do…definitely don’t hit his hair

I guess “technically” Reel2Reel lost, but it was the best showing we’ve had against the mighty Spike Hillians in ages.

After a Reeler lead for the majority of the game, Spike Hill’s Finnigan made a sick running catch in the 7th that resulted in a change of fortune. Reeler infield maneuvers were dashed thereafter thanks to “Interference” Kane’s dance moves on 2nd and Alex hit a 3 run bomb in the 8th to break the tie and put them up by 3.

But the Reelers launched a comeback in the bottom of the 9th when one run was batted in and a 2-out rally in full swing. With bases loaded after beautiful hits from Jaime, Phil and some ginger-haired super model, Spike Hill was seemingly on the ropes. But it was all for naught as we stayed forever frozen on the pond. I liken the feeling to when I get told I’m getting a ticket to see Red Sox/Yankees (which this masshole has yet to do in NY). There’s that one hour where I’m picking out my hat, selecting my jersey, and then it falls through EVERY TIME.

Well, savor the flavor of this win, Hillians. We’ll see you beautiful jerks in August.

( Spike Hill: 10 / Reel 2 Reel: 8 )

Field #2: Turkey’s Nest vs. Gibson (Stryker)

Alright, alright. I guess we’ll start playing now

I was real excited for this one from the get go.  Gibson was fired up before the game and really seemed unified.  Not sure if this was from the mysterious “orange liquid” the team was drinking  before the game, but I did see a few Gibbers get real nervous when Ado’s baby got too close to the orange cooler.  The Nest seemed ….well the exact opposite.  Sluggish, quiet, spread out all over their bench. It was eerie.  Would this be the day?!?! I was getting butterflies for the Gibbers.

Gibson came out strong, getting the first three birds 1,2,3.  Then in the bottom of the 1st, hit in 5 and took the early lead.  There was a lot of action in left field for both teams, with the Gibson getting a couple dingers from Chris and Greg while Gibsoner LF was really dancing on the  WSL glass ceiling.  Now, I was unfortunately in the bathroom during this incident, but I heard from a few people about it and there were a lot phrases being thrown around: “Charging in”, “Stole a sure hit”“threw a girl out at first base while charging in”.  I’m not really sure what happened, but after that there was a lot of dick and tight pants jokes.  The Nest quietly crept back in this game and it was 8-7 Gibson up to this point.  I’m not sure if it was Gibson’s LFielder that got the Nest all fired up or if it was Ado’s baby who silenced the Gibson after he expressed his anger over his Mothers’s decision to pinch run instead of providing him with the proper nourishment only a mother’s teet could, but it was all Nest after that.  The Turkeys would break it open and outscore the Gibs 15- 1 in the last few innings.  Although the red shirts looked good out there with 5 multiple hit players and 12 of 15 players reaching base safely, it wouldn’t be this day for the Gibson…but they live to play another.

( Turkeys Nest: 22 / Gibson: 9 )


Field #1: R Bar vs. Crown Vic 86ers (Stache)

You ever wake up so drunk you didn’t know whether you really were Randy Savage or not?

Seems like every team in the league was struggling with missing key contributors this week.  This matchup was no different.  Both teams were already coming off tough losses in week 2, so which back-ups would be ready to step up?  Luckily for the 86ers, absentee Mayor Al Buttah was steadily texting his managerial strategies from beautiful Virginia.  We all know Crown Vic is like Voltron and Buttah is the black lion.  R Bar had some issues of their own.  Despite the losses of Bobby “Slappy” Knapp and J Merhaut for this game, the Bums from R Bar took the field with dreams of Godsy North division bragging rights dancing through their heads!

The Bums rattled off 6 runs with 2 outs in the 3rd inning and continued to open up a 13-3 lead though 6 frames.  Hustle & Flow action from Adam Cac & Pete got the ball rolling in the rally.  Not entirely sure why, but Mikey Black very graciously dedicated his at bat that inning to me (RBI single…I’ll take it). Crown Vic eventually 86’d that large deficit with 8 big runs in the 7th, to pull within 2!  Jeffy Jeff “Filthy” Gutowski paced the CV offense with 3 hits out of the leadoff spot on the day.  Unfortunately, that would be the end of the scoring for Crown Vic, while R Bar would tack on a few more to finish up the 15-11 victory.

In the nerdiest of statistical rundowns ever; apparently Adam Cac, Pete, Bubbs and Josh reached base safely in 16 of 19 plate appearances.  Can’t believe I didn’t get the BABIP and WAR numbers along with that!  What gives, Richie?!

“Shitfaced” Sgt. Andre wanted everyone to know he’s currently detoxing after a solid Wednesday – Sunday bender.  Chastise him relentlessly when you see him at the bar this week “detoxing”.

( RBar: 15 / Crown Vic: 11 )

Field #2: Clemerica vs. Brooklyn Bowl (Stryker)

We have never beat Mendoza. We have never beat The Bowl. We wanted to so badly.  It was a bad omen when The Battleship’s new uniforms didn’t come in time, but we rallied behind our  new Preacher, Father Haroon who has been leading the Clemericans in pregame prayer this year.  Our prayers seemed to be answered as the God(s) gave Clems “lightening in their feet and thunder in their bats”, although the thunder didn’t come until after our first hit.

Todd Splinter in the two spot hit a real pooper of a pop-up that landed in between the pitcher and second base, then careened 90 degrees towards first base.  Todd never even thougt about stopping at first and made a wide turn towards second where no one was covering, so he stopped waited for SS to get to second just so he could get into a pickle. He escaped that as 2B overthrew SS, by this time Todd was just about at 3rd as Godsy got to the ball. Todd flew past the “stop” sign at third, confusing the shit out of Godsy, who couldn’t even muster a throw.

Clems drew first blood with a 50ft. infield homerun.  The Battleship was at full speed, scoring 4 to open things up. After some clutch hitting from Billy “Quick Beer” Reilly, who ended up goin 3-3 in the game, the Bowlers would get one.  The Clemericans were firing all cannons going up 7 -1.  The Bowl exploded 4 runs (bowl, exploded, and runs should never be in the same sentence) in the bottom of the inning with a clutch 2-run double from Reilly and two more with a sac fly and a single by LF Sam “Dr.” Farnsworth.  New Clemerican D.B.A. hit another homer to bring the score to 8-5.  The turning point of the game was a heroic 3 run homer by third baseman Derek Evers. It was a perfect line shot that split the Clems outfield, tying it up 8-8. Then Jay Silver drove in what proved to be the winning run with a sharp liner down the 3B line, scoring Mike Olin. Clem’s got a couple guys on in the top of the 9th, but couldnt get the hit we needed to tie up the game.   This was a bad bad loss for Clems, but fear not.  We will persevere for God(s)! For country! For Breezey!!

Also a couple side notes–  I was “warned” several times about my pitching from the umpire. No one warns Stryker. And Godsy asked for my friendship on facebook Monday. It’s a real dick move after what he did to us.  Reeeeally rubbing it in. I made him wait an hour or so before I accepted. I’m sure that showed him.

( Clemerica: 8 / Brooklyn Bowl: 9 )

Til next time,


The New New Additions



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