Joe Godsy Division
Parkview Scorpions 6 1 .857 115 48
McCarren Hotel Titans 6 1 .857 96 60
St. Anselm 3 3 .500 73 53
Turkey's Nest AT 2 5 .286 50 64
Parkview Suzies 5 1 .833 55 42
The Bedford Yetis 3 4 .429 62 99
Pete's Candy Store 2 5 .286 73 77
Turkey's Nest 0 7 .000 20 101
Joe Fashion Division
Gibson 6 1 .857 89 44
Roebling Sports Club 5 2 .714 111 70
Clems 3 3 .500 63 56
The Gutter 86ers 1 5 .167 36 89
Kilo Bravo 4 2 .667 55 37
Echo Bravo 4 2 .667 69 44
Loggers 2 5 .286 58 83
Carmine's Bombers 1 6 .143 44 102


Week 08 - May 22
11:00 Parkview Scorpions @ Gibson 1
Loggers @ The Bedford Yetis 2
1:00 Pete's Candy Store @ Echo Bravo 1
Turkey's Nest @ Kilo Bravo 2
3:00 Carmine's Bombers @ Parkview Suzies 1
Turkey's Nest AT @ Clems 2
5:00 McCarren Hotel Titans @ The Gutter 86ers 1
St. Anselm @ Roebling Sports Club 2

Last Week's Results

Week 07 - May 15
Pete's Candy Store14 @ Turkey's Nest AT 11
Echo Bravo10 @ Roebling Sports Club 5
Loggers11 @ The Gutter 86ers 6
Carmine's Bombers5 @ Clems 12
Parkview Suzies7 @ McCarren Hotel Titans 17
The Bedford Yetis2 @ Parkview Scorpions 26
Kilo Bravo8 @ Gibson 9
Turkey's Nest0 @ St. Anselm 11


Thu, Apr 24, 2014

Did everyone have a relaxing weekend away from Softball? Well don’t get too comfortable because Sundays are back in session (until Memorial Day weekend). This Sunday could decide who remains with a perfect record, who dips below .500 and who in the GROUP OF DEATH will pull away from the pack. But one thing’s for certain; the after-party’s at The Gibson.


Field #1: Soft Spot vs. Black Betty (Decker)

This game is kid-friendly!

The “Betties in Black” hope to continue their assault on the Joe Fashion North Division when they meet the Yetis on Field 1 at 11:00 AM this Sunday.  Black Betty’s defense has been the WSL’s most impregnable to date where they’ve managed to double up on each of their first two opponents, jumping out to a 2-0 start.

But Dietz, Pizza and the rest of the Soft Spot crew have something else in mind for this Sunday. They fell at the hands of Holland‘s squadron in the first round of last year’s playoffs and plan to avenge that loss with their own stolid D and a barrage of hits. Will the abominable snowmen make this a super chilly game? Or will they be shrouded in black once again? Tune in on Sunday for what is sure to be an outstanding game.

Field #2: Good Co vs. Pete’s  (Shortz)

Is that a “vihta” in your hand or are you just happy to see me?

Sunday kicks off on Field 2 between the Pretty in Pinks and the fiery folks at Pete’s Candy Store.

Sensing that Pete’s 0-2 record was simply a ruse to have the Pinks lower their guard, Wally & Co. took a little Easter field trip to a secret sweat lodge, whereupon they endured ritual steam baths, “vihta” slaps and full team rebirthing. 

The gang denies that peyote was involved, but Cap’n Calfs sent me a suspicious poem shortly after completing his sweating ceremony;

Good Co. plays Pete’s for the 3rd game, I don’t think Good Co’s team will be lame.

Thankfully there’s only 9 innings, so I can go home and drink my Twinings.

We play to recapture our youth, and as we drink we become uncooth.

But who cares, as we slam down drinks and chairs.

Mondays are harder in the summer, but going home early on Sunday’s a bummer.

I mean, c’mon! That’s some straight up peyote talkin’.


Field #1: Loggers vs. AT United (Decker)

In the battle of the green teams, a share of the Joe Fashion South Division lead awaits whoever comes out on top.

Coming off a week 2 drubbing, the Brooklyn Loggers are looking to rebound this Sunday when they meet AT United on Field 1 at 1:00 PM. They’ll be without stalwarts Mike Saris, Nelson “Bells” Nunez and The Cap’n Brenner, who noted “my pinch running skills won’t be available this Sunday.” But rest assured that “Coach” Paterak will be tinkering with the lineup as he continues to optimize the Loggers and Tony “Knuckles” will try his best to keep the opposing balls out of Field 2.

AT United is also coming off a poor effort in week 2. Justin and the funky bunch hope the Easter break has rejuvenated their legs and brought the pop back to their bats. Either way, they’ll arrive early with El Drunko Tanko and will proceed to get just drunk enough to play softball.

Field #2: Turkey’s Teachers vs. 3 Kings (Stache)

The Teachers and Kings squared off twice last season and, despite two royal victories, it was a tale of two games.

The first was a lopsided laugh of a game, with the TNT squad playing somewhat shorthanded. The 3 Kings lineup sent a couple dozen hits over those stupid fences and things got ugly in a hurry.  Later in the season, the Teachers showed up with a full class and took the Kings to the brink.

Not sure what to expect from this pair of 1-1 teams. TNT is already looking like they’re ready to avenge those 2013 losses, after beating AT United last week. The 3 Kings offense is rolling up big scores and looking up to the challenge, although they will be critically shorthanded team this time. Will this be a lesson learned or another detention for Educators? Can’t wait for the class bell to ring!


Field #1: Spike Hill vs. Reel2Reel (Shortz)

I miss you already, Mo!

Oh, Spike Hill. How you’ve bitch-slapped us with your softball awesomeness these past couple of years. I’m far too superstitious to jinx my team with a winning declaration, but with our retooled lineup, we’re hoping to return the favor to you fine folks “2010-style”.

There are rumors swirling of some old Reeler faces reappearing, though it might not be as rewarding since “Big Vegan Cheese” O’Mallery will not be in attendance.

Also away from the festivities will be my partner in crime, Mo. Spike Hill just got a little less hot, y’all.

Field #2: Turkey’s Nest vs. Gibson (Stryker)

Both of these teams are coming off of real strong games before the Easter break. I’m not sure what this hiatus will do for these teams but Turkeys Nest put on a clinic against Clems two weeks ago (god I wish I could erase that from my memory like that day I had three large Nesta-ritas), and the Gibson was real close to a huge upset against the Bowlers.  This is gonna be a real turf war, the likes of which we haven’t seen since the theatrical release of The Warriors (RIP Cyrus). I would like to turn this preview into a prediction. Turkeys Nest comes out hot again hitting a few homers in the early innings. Gibson gets off to a slow start but then…Shafer reminds his team how good he is and banishes them to the Nest for some refreshments so he can play every position simultaneously. He holds the Gibson for two innings with a score of 7-2 in the 7th inning. Then the Gibson strikes, tying the game up in the 8th at 7-7.  Then Gibson gets Shafer 1,2,3 in the top of the ninth and then hits a walk off to win the game!!! Gibson wins Gibson wins!!!! The biggest celebration the WSL has ever seen will ensue, and all games will stop as everyone from the league hoists the Gibbers on their shoulders and carry them back to the bar.  Then a Tyrannosaurus Rex in really tight pants will walk through the park walking a poodle.  Place your bets.


Field #1: R Bar vs. Crown Vic 86ers (Stache)

There are no “sure things” in this year’s GROUP OF DEATH so far!  The revamped R2R squad has defeated all comers, including the perennial powerhouses from the RBar and the newly sponsored 86ers from Crown Vic.  Both of these teams are coming off tough divisional losses in week 2 and are ready to get their seasons back on track.  Mayor Al Buttah is out for this one, escaping to Virginia to avoid the Bums’ bomb squad of Bobby Knapp and “Bubbs”.  Before he left, he wanted to thank our esteemed commissioner, Holland, for their cupcake, divisional seeding. (Conspiracy Series v2.0?)  No doubt we’ll get a great game here, as the 86ers defense always amazes. Crown Vic speedster Jeff “Filthy” Gutowski is always up to the challenge and looks to steal some hits away from the potent RBar offense. On the flip side, good luck getting a single ball by RBar’s LF counterpart, Adam Cac. One this is certain, everyone will enjoy each other’s company! Apparently, RBar teammates took a poll and agreed that they would collectively prefer to play for the 86ers, if they weren’t already Bums. How nice is that?

Field #2: Clemerica vs. Brooklyn Bowl (Stryker)

As I was taking my afternoon nap at work today I drifted off thinking about how we had off last Sunday for this Easter thing. Then I thought what is Easter anyway? Which then got me onto Jebus… so if Jebus rose from the dead does that make him a zombie or a vampire? And why would we worship either of those, I must be missing something. Annywayy, The Battleship is looking for complete and utter redemption after the trouncing they received last week from the Nest. The week off really gave Clems some time to finally get those new uniforms ready for this week; it’s a new look and a new Clemerica with the same old Battleship pride. I’d also like to warm everyone that I’ve purchased my first pair of these things called “cleats.”  The pauses will be longer and I’m gonna be fast as shit out there!!  The Bowlers are comin’ off a “win” against the Gibson and will look to win again. But if they come at us as lazily as they did against The Gibbers it’s gonna be gutters all day for BKB. Speaking of bowling alleys, here’s a fun fact I discovered on the interwebz.

“Finger holes in bowling balls have been found to contain substantial amounts of fecal contamination.”

Remind me to never borrow a bat from BK Bowl.


We’ll see you fools on the field!


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