Joe Godsy Division
Parkview Scorpions 6 1 .857 115 48
McCarren Hotel Titans 6 1 .857 96 60
St. Anselm 3 3 .500 73 53
Turkey's Nest AT 2 5 .286 50 64
Parkview Suzies 5 1 .833 55 42
The Bedford Yetis 3 4 .429 62 99
Pete's Candy Store 2 5 .286 73 77
Turkey's Nest 0 7 .000 20 101
Joe Fashion Division
Gibson 6 1 .857 89 44
Roebling Sports Club 5 2 .714 111 70
Clems 3 3 .500 63 56
The Gutter 86ers 1 5 .167 36 89
Kilo Bravo 4 2 .667 55 37
Echo Bravo 4 2 .667 69 44
Loggers 2 5 .286 58 83
Carmine's Bombers 1 6 .143 44 102


Week 08 - May 22
11:00 Parkview Scorpions @ Gibson 1
Loggers @ The Bedford Yetis 2
1:00 Pete's Candy Store @ Echo Bravo 1
Turkey's Nest @ Kilo Bravo 2
3:00 Carmine's Bombers @ Parkview Suzies 1
Turkey's Nest AT @ Clems 2
5:00 McCarren Hotel Titans @ The Gutter 86ers 1
St. Anselm @ Roebling Sports Club 2

Last Week's Results

Week 07 - May 15
Pete's Candy Store14 @ Turkey's Nest AT 11
Echo Bravo10 @ Roebling Sports Club 5
Loggers11 @ The Gutter 86ers 6
Carmine's Bombers5 @ Clems 12
Parkview Suzies7 @ McCarren Hotel Titans 17
The Bedford Yetis2 @ Parkview Scorpions 26
Kilo Bravo8 @ Gibson 9
Turkey's Nest0 @ St. Anselm 11

Week 19- Preview

Thu, Aug 8, 2013

Hey you!! Stop that and pay attention! It’s Week #19!

Where has this regular season gone??? It feels like it just begun, but in reality it is almost about done. There are 5 teams with 10 or more wins and a huge “middle class” that are desperately searching for wins to achieve a favorable 1st round match-up. Rbar, Spike Hill and AT are in the running for the 1st three seeds, with Black Betty and Brooklyn Bowl looking to force their way into that conversation. And the race continues for the 2nd worse record in the league between 2nd Chance and the Loggers. So let’s dig into something besides your nose and see what other nuggets this week’s slate of games might hold.

***WSL Editor’s Disclaimer: GBlack’s previews will be written in a “Roast Styling”. He is only roasting league members he has known for years and that have a thick skin. Thankfully, that is most of you. But feel free to send us hate mail (or directly yell at Shortz) if you are in any way offended, because it’s hilarious.

***Shortzy’s Disclaimer: Yell at Gerald 🙂


Field #1: AT AllStars vs. Spike Hill (GBlack)

This is what you call VIP seating

It’s early rising for this rematch.  Their Week 13 game was closer than the final score indicated (16-9), but the better team prevailed, at least in the first go around. No O’Malley this Sunday (thank god) because an early morning conversation with Mike is like watching a Gibson game, long and painful. Starting the game for the AT’ers will be Jim “Two Strikes” Kanter, looking like he stepped out of a Capital One Viking Commercial. Spike Hiller Phil Michael, who has the jaw line of a young Arnold Schwarzenegger,  will have a chance to re-capture first place on the Home Run Leader Board. With these two teams having double headers on Sunday, first place in the North is up for grabs. Will AT’s never ending quest to find Mickey Smiles’ missing chromosome come to an end? Why don’t you all just pass out drunk by Field 1 Saturday night and get yourself a good seat for this one.


Field #1: Brooklyn Bowl vs. AT AllStars (GBlack)

Double header action sees AT taking on their Week 5 victim, the Bowlers. Hopefully not to drained (drunk) from their earlier game, the Allstars look to make sure BK Bowl stays where they are at in the Northern Standings. To make sure AT is awake and game ready, OG Vinny will be there with his entire horn section. And word to the wise, don’t blow the vuvuzuela after Vin if you do not want an itch lip, if you know what I mean. The Bowlers will have just enough players for this game. Joe God-sy will be there, even though he is nursing an injury (vigorous and violent masturbation session). They need a win vs AT to keep up with the other teams with double digit wins. Will Joe pull off a Willis Reed moment? More importantly, will he pull off his shirt so he can turn Gerald on? (it doesn’t take much) Can AT lock up one of the first three seeds before their final game of the season next week? The answers start rolling in at 12 pm!

Field #2: 2nd Chance vs. duckduck (Shortz)

Quack Quack BOOM

Duckduck has had Second Chance’s number in seasons past and present, including last year’s one–sided, old timers game (winner: old Reelers). However, the 86ers has upped their hitting game, so this could be a high scoring match. August usually marks the turn-around point for duckduck, and this season should be no different. We really REALLY could use some wins to get us out of the 11th seed and the Round 1 matchup with Black Betty.

No matter what happens, just remember our bet from week 4, Buttah. We won- Cats are in your wedding. Wanna go double or nothing?



Field #1: Gibson vs. Spike Hill (Shortz)

Ya know, it’s one of those ironic names…unless some grammar Nazi wants to school me about the definition of irony…bc that’s always a great way to make friends.

In week 4, Spike Hill held the Gibson to just one run. Hopefully Todd’s ass has healed enough for them to attempt some payback. O’Malley will be once more missing in action, so in his stead, Mike “Smalls” Powell will be taking the reins. Last time this change of power occurred, it resulted in a loss against RBar, so it’s rumored that this time O’Malley gave him more instructions than parents give their first babysitter.

–       Send lineup for confirmation no latter that 4pm Thursday.

–       Bedtime on Saturday is 9pm sharp! Don’t let them get you with “Oh, let me watch The Sandlot for inspiration”- THEY’VE SEEN IT!

–       Behavior: Any team member that gets out of line (this will most likely be Morgan), the protocol is to zip them into the bases bag for 7 minutes.

–       Allergies: Alex is allergic to laughter GTodd is anaphylactic to losing, so it is your job to prevent neither from happening

–       Activity schedule: The game is at 2PM, so make sure during the break between the 10am game, everyone goes to the McCarren track by for strength and conditioning drills. As coach, you’ll need an extra workout, so carry Bobby in your arms for 5 additional laps.

–       Give each team member a bottle of room temperature water 30 minutes before the game.

–       In case of any medical emergencies, call the Spike Hill dispatch and go directly to the medical wing of our secret training facility. Don’t contact the Spike Hill bar- they have no idea who we are.

–       You can reach me on one of my 13 smart phone devices. I will except a call no later than 4pm ET /10 PM OT (O’Malley Time) to dissect the game and review your performance with a fine-toothed comb.

Field #2: Turkey’s Nest vs. Clemerica (Shortz)

To add to the deliciousness of this game. Behold themed cakepops!

It’s the rematch of The Boys of Summer vs. ZZ Top! Following their epic fail against the obnoxious Allstars (Gerald wrote that), the Battleship is out for blood, bear and brisket against the well-rested Turkey’s Nest.

In their first meeting this season, the Clemericans shot a fatal pirate cannonball into the Turkey’s Nest vestibule, resulting in a win. But the Nesters have been winning a few here and there and they could just be the team to kick the Clemericans when they’re down.

I’m sorry I have to stop. Every time I write about you guys, I get meat fever. I’m off to get a burger.

Best of luck to both teams!


Field #1: Turkey’s Teachers vs. 3 Kings (Shortz)

Anyone that disagrees is a terrorist

In their last meet up, the majestic ones beat the ever-living snot out of the educated ones. But the Teachers looked the best they have all season last week, whereas the Kings were victims to the no-one’s-around-in-August-let’s reschedule.

Poor Stash attempted on two separate occasions to get in some practice by subbing, but both teams had their tardy members show up at the last minute, making Stash 0-3. He had to drown his sorrows with an ice cream social for one at Ample Farms. You should’ve worn a dress, Stash.


Field #2: Soft Spot vs. Black Betty (GBlack)

The dapper young Commish

With the South Division title seemingly out of reach, Black Betty will focus on their playoff seeding as they meet a old rival on Field 2…and by old, I can only mean Winston “Old Man River”. Actually, looking at these two teams’ line ups is like looking at the cast of Cocoon. On the Yetis side, Jason Dietz, who just refuses to rust and keep his shirt on, Old Captain James Toolan, who has more white hair on his face than Pizza has had career-ending surgeries. Old father Time is partying on the Betty bench as well, WSL’s Benjamin Button, JB$, who has been in the league longer than Baby Boy has been alive.  Holland, still spry and young looking at 47, just looks like a young and not that handsome Rodney Dangerfield to me. Then we have Asian Sensation Super Dave, who I’m sure is about 50 and is just not sharing his secret ancient anti-aging tricks. Nonetheless, these in-shape old farts will surely add another classic battle to their very long and very old history.


Field #1: Pete’s vs. Loggers (Shortz)

The Loggers face off against the fiery Pete’s Candy Store to close out Sunday on field #1. The Candyfolk will once more be without the their fearless fucking coach, Sam, unless he cut his trip short to give his team a kick in the pants for losing last week and demote JJ, Kirby and Jake to the Trifecta of Less-Than-Awesome.

As for the Loggers, they will be without one of my favorite on-field reporters, Daniel Decker. This means I’ll either have to set your recap to fairytale theme, or just make shit up with a buttload of gifs.

Field #2: Good Co. vs. RBar (GBlack)

RBar is looking down right unbeatable in the last couple weeks and they have their sights on the #1 seed overall. In their first year in the South, Good Co. has acclimated themselves very well…as well as Mike V has on the cover of next year’s FDNY calendar. RBar never struggles to score runs, but their defense this year (8 runs per game) has been tighter than Jason’s Man-T-Hose.  Who’s more delusional? A-Rod for thinking he is loved or Cesar for thinking he can pitch? (Just kidding buddy, you did thwart the Champs back in Week 13.) Cap’n Calves will have to bring that same type of lower leg muscles to hold back The Big Blue Machine. What will come first for RBar? The bar’s “A” grade from the Department of Health (keep wishing Greg) or the Southern Divisional Title? Can Mikey Black’s biceps actually get bigger? And who will win in a smiling contest, Wally or Mickey Smiles? I say Wally, his smile is much less demented.

See you out there, you crazy kids, you.

-The New Additions


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