11AM

Field#1: AT All Stars vs. duckduck

These two teams have been going back and forth with each other for the past few years. Just last year, we split our regular season games; they won in our first meet-up and when we met again, they lost playing against NINE PLAYERS. But rumors swirl that we Reeler-ducks will finally get our new jerseys, so not only will be inspired to play well, but we will look ravishing. Similar to when you have that two-week burst of wanting to go to the gym because you bought some super cute workout outfit (Ope). I am confident 11am won’t be too early for AT to get their drunk-tank rowdiness on.  But fair warning, All-stars: All eyes will be on you loud ones, and there’s nothing worse than look like a bunch of Lady Gagas dressed as a lightning bolts with no Grammy. Although placing pre-game wagers are a surefire way to jinx your team into losing, I have a fun gentleman’s bet. Whichever team wins, the loser (either Gerald or myself) will have to dress AND take on the persona of the winner at the following game. Get those legs shaved, Gerald. 

 

 Field #2: Loggers vs. Black Betty

If there was ever a time for the Loggers to pump up the volume on their playing, it’s against the defending champs Black Betty. I suspect Brenner will have some tricks up his sleeve for getting Loggers their first win of the season. And Sunday may pose that opportunity as The Betty’s‘ are pretty miffed about having to play so early. They are sure to have some words with the commissioner whom they suspect, hates their team. Chatter is null from both locker rooms, making this game about as exciting as this Sunday’s pollen count for Brooklyn. Wait- I stand corrected. The Sunday pollen count for Brooklyn is VERY HIGH. That’s much more exciting.

 

1PM 

Does the homer-bashing, take-no-prisoners 3 Kings show up? Or does the Burger King paper crown offense make an appearance instead? With #1 South seeding in his hazy blurry vision, Sam “Blues Clues” Rio is sure to have his squad ready for either.

 

Field#2: Spike Hill vs. Brooklyn Bowl 

Hopefully the Bowlers have recovered from being devoured by a large cat and are ready to shake things up with Spike Hill. Their weekly Spike Hill evite (yes, one person still uses evite) revealed that the Hillians would be missing a plethora of players this week, including Sir Michael Jerome O’Malley himself. Perhaps they’ve chosen this week to implement their charitable, one loss of the season. It really is too bad about O’Malley’s absence as I do love his rapport with Godsy…such as, “O’Malley! You asshole. I’m gonna kill you. Want a beer?” And my favorite, “O’Malley look at my hand.” (slap)

 

3PM

Field #1: Turkey’s Nest vs. Gibson

When will it happen?…..When can they finally be victorious in ’13? Perhaps this is the week. I will be rooting hard for the Gibson in this one. They show a lot of character and a tough fighting spirit in every single game they have played this season. Even though they are allowing the most runs by any team this season they are perhaps facing the right team at the right time. The Turkey’s Nest has had a disappointing season thus far and are struggling to score runs, only averaging a little over 9 per game. I had no idea that Turkeys hibernated. Rumor has it that if The Nest cannot turn it around they will trade JL at the trading line in exchange for O’Malley’s rolling suitcase of bats? It does already have a .750 average… Okay– I totally made that up. Come on guys… win one for the Gibber!

 

Field#2: R Bar vs. Soft Spot 

The Yetis face off against Pizza’s old squad, which always makes for a good game. Some RBar folk will be out of town at ROTR getting their music fix, but I assume those playing will put forth their best effort. Yetis usually have Rbar’s number (at least they did last year), but Pluto is still in retrograde, so you never know.

 

5PM

Field #1: Clemerica vs. Second Chance

After last week’s near win, Second Chance can feel that second win coming. It’s so close they can taste it. Mayor Al Buttah’s stagey for Sunday is simple, “Don’t hit the ball to Markow, other then that we’re not scurrred!!” As for Clemerica, I’m sure they’ll be raring to get back on a winning streak after finishing a week long, Breezy-imposed Brisket Cleanse.

Editor’s Note: For any teams in need of retail therapy, swing-by Horizons to buy Kathryn’s closet so she can afford her wedding dress! 

 

Field#2: Good Co vs. Turkey’s Teachers

The Pink ladies are coming off their first loss of the season as the Teachers come off their fourth–straight loss. Perhaps the Teacher’s have had enough of their self-imposed detention and will break out this Sunday. My sources tell me there’s chatter amongst the Pinks of a Good Co. BBQ on the horizon, and I have officially invited myself. Quick message to my beloved Teachers; I agree that your 1-4 record does not indicate what your team can and will do this season. Now don’t make me eat my words like I have a habit of doing on a weekly basis. And who do I think will win? That’s easy. Whichever team displayed a better 80’s comeback montage over the past week.

 

  Shortzy’s Two Cents

For reasons unknown, I googled 5/19/2013, and what popped up was this message:

I think we all know what I say to that…Nice knowing you, Gerald

 

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