Standings

Joe Godsy Division
NORTH W L PCT RF RA
Parkview Scorpions 17 4 .810 300 162
St. Anselm 11 9 .550 204 200
Clems 8 10 .444 182 178
Pete's Candy Store 6 12 .333 164 205
 
SOUTH W L PCT RF RA
Roebling Sports Club 14 5 .737 225 162
Loggers 12 7 .632 247 185
Gibson 6 12 .333 172 236
AT All-Stars 6 12 .333 154 247
 
Joe Fashion Division
NORTH W L PCT RF RA
Echo Bravo 12 8 .600 246 173
The Gutter 86ers 9 9 .500 198 210
Turkey's Nest 5 13 .278 174 264
Carmine's Bombers 0 18 .000 114 318
 
SOUTH W L PCT RF RA
Parkview Panthers 17 4 .810 289 196
Kilo Bravo 10 9 .526 261 229
Turkey's Nest Titans 9 9 .500 217 213
The Bedford Yetis 9 10 .474 231 200

Schedule

Championship Sunday - Sep 26
11:00 St. Anselm @ Parkview Scorpions 1
Echo Bravo @ Parkview Panthers 2
3:00 Parkview Scorpions @ Parkview Panthers 2

Last Week's Results

Championship Sunday - Sep 26
St. Anselm4 @ Parkview Scorpions 9
Echo Bravo7 @ Parkview Panthers 9
Parkview Scorpions10 @ Parkview Panthers 5

Week 5- Preview

Fri, May 3, 2013

Orale!!! Vatos and Vatas of the WSL!!!!

We were Mariachis before it was cool

Happy Cinco de Mayo weekend. Looks like the Mexican Mayan gods decided to send some decently warm weather our way. Muchas Gracias for the spectacular weather this Sunday, Senores. So the April 2013 WSL results are in: three teams are undefeated, five teams are 2-1, four teams are 1-2 and three teams are 0-3. But what does this all mean? Absolutely nothing, it’s only week 5! Let’s see what’s on tap this weekend beside some obvious Mexican puns.

Actually…before all this softball nonsense, we’d like to share our secret technique for maintaining the integrity of this site and entertaining you fine people. Gerald thought it would be a good idea to slack on his write-up duties last week. Gerald thought wrong. Gerald got bitch slapped.

11AM

Field 1: Turkey’s Nest @ 2nd Chance (GBlack)

Beard of the Year. Goal set, Jordon.

In one of three 2012 playoff rematches being played this weekend, TN looks to right this ship ASAP. Captain Jordan Heller, a self-loving Jew, traveled to the Santa Rosa of Guadalupe Conchita Encaracion of the Bleeding Tamales Church in the South Bronx to pray for hits, runs and more glorious red facial hair. The 86’ers, who almost pulled the big upset by beating The Nest in last year’s one game elimination playoff, will have a great point of reference and confidence heading into this one. When reached for comment on the game, Mayor Al Blizzy said, “No problem, kids. This one is for Fernando Venezuela, baby!” Should be a fantastico one to start off the slate of games.

Also, Al and Kat are not the only ones getting hitched on Second Chance, Congrats to Jeff Gutowski on his up coming nuptials, I am sure his baby blues and speedy legs were not easy to tie down, so kudos to his finance.

Field #2: Good Co vs. Soft Spot (Shortz)

The day commences with another playoff rematch between The Yetis and Good Co. Unfortunately for the Yetis, they’ll be missing the beautifully beautiful April. But Annie, Aaron and his dog Lemmy (aka Moosh) will be back and holding down the blue-tented fort in her absence.

PARTY FOUL!

As for Good Co, they’re riding high as the only team in the South with an undefeated record, but they will be missing the allstar personanities of Rich “Pancake” Sullivan and “Pantless” Cesar. Luckily, they will have newbie Drew along with Shane and the incomparable Stacy “plays like a dude, looks like a lady” Rowe. With the weather getting nicer maybe they’ll resort to their usual post-game tailgating and drunken cat naps right off field 2. Just don’t drop the pizza this time, Wally.
1PM

Field 1: Gibson @ Brooklyn Bowl (GBlack)

Gratuitous Brad Pitt picture

Having a tough time in their new division thus far, The BK Bowlers have not tasted victory since Week 1. In an interesting stat, they have scored 9 runs in each of their three games. Come on guys, knock down that last pin! They have missed key players recently, but hopefully will be a full strength this week when Joe Godsy returns from his Tijuana bare knuckle boxing tour. For those interested, he also won a cock fight…without a rooster. The Gibby, winless in ’13 so far, do not have a problem scoring runs and are promising to perform a pre-game Sombrero Hat Dance.

Field #2 Turkey’s Teachers vs. Pete’s Candy Store (Shortz)

extra lime!

Pete’s might think they’re hot shit right now over their recent winning streak of two whole games. But even though the Teachers got violently reamed last week, they’re still capable of beating even the best of squads. They have already disciplined themselves by whacking their knuckles with a ruler– one whack for every run they gave up last week, so their post battle wounds should be healed up come game time.

I have two wishes for this matchup:
1) That Pete’s will make some Cinco de Mayo Margarita popsicles to rival those Mojito popsicles from last year.
2) That I will get a pic with the whole Teacher’s team so I can end the educational puns once and for all. (who am I kidding, we’re never stopping)

3PM

Field #1 Clemerica vs. AT All Stars (GBlack)

No laws! Let’s drink and BBQ!

Not having a problem adjusting to their new divisional home is Clemerica. The Battleship has victories over two teams that were last year’s 3rd and 4th playoff seeds. They are having the best start in franchise history. AT has begun this year exactly how it began the 2012 campaign, 3-0. Something that did not have last year was #1 offense in the league averaging 19 runs per game. To distract and smoke out Breezy and his minions, the AT’ers will be BBQ-ing during the game downwind. But why barbecue against the BBQ King? Answer: It has nothing to do with opponent and everything to do that there being no rules or parks department around this season!  It’s like the Thunderdome, anything goes!

This interview contains mature language and adult situations. Reader’s discretion are severely advised:

We asked AT’s 3rd baseman Daniel “DNasty” Chaupis about his team’s game this week:

WSL Staff: What do you think of your chances vs. Clemerica this Sunday at 3, DNasty?

Daniel: You know what, those Clemericans, they have a lot of brave, hairy men. I think they’ve gotten better under Breeze’s guidance and leadership, and it shows. I have a lot of respect for them fellas, but I bleed green and yellow baby, and I feel we stacked just as good. Here on AT…we have a lot of drunken, talented, hairless messes (except for G) who don’t quit till the tequila is fully consumed. So I say, let’s have a fukin war!!!! We are the New AT, Fuk the police. Our chances…hmm…fuck chances, chances are for pussies. we’re gonna play AT ball, baby. Allow some runs then our pitching and our defense will clamp down on them hairy, nice folks. Our bats will come for seconds, possibly thirds, jimmy 2s and GMoney will throw the nasty and Mariano Rivera that shit.

WSL Staff: You seem to have a lot of confidence in your team. Where does that come from?

Daniel: It comes from being ugly. U can take all the risks you want. You can’t lose!! Why u think I throw myself around the field so much? My team came from shit, and now we pulling the shit out. We risk everything, that’s where it comes from….We come in, down by 10, I call that a fukin challenge!!!

WSL Staff:  Disturbing and cocky words from a human being that needs some major physiological help…Thank you Dnasty. You do justice to your nickname

Daniel: Thank you…I’d like to shout out to momz! I love u!

Bring your meat cause the AT grill will be blazing all afternoon long.

Field #2: R Bar vs. Loggers (Shortz)

Instead of a full preview, I present to you…

“Behind the Softball: Danielle LoVaglio

Coming fall 2000 and never.

Before she broke out into RBar superstardom as softball sensation, “D-Lo”, Danielle had quieter beginnings in the WSL league as a member of the Loggers. Nurtured by Mark Brenner, she was simply known as “Nailz” due to her penchant for getting wild gel-manicures. But as soon as RBar bad boy, Adam Caccavale set his sights on young Nailz, the Loggers knew her days with their organization were numbered. In softball, as in life, Nailz never failz and I doubt she’ll be remotely rattled by facing her old team. But rumors persist that she’s been using sports enhancing cigarettes ever since her TV pilot never got picked up for her female softball cop show “Nailz and Shortz!”

Don’t mind me…my mind tends to wander when presented with ZERO RBar content…

As for the Loggers, who are now in the danger zone of being renamed the “Mark Sanchez Butt Fumbles”, they’ve at least steered me away from using lumberjack puns with tales of team spirit and Lucador masks. Show me something this Sunday, Loggers…you cannot blame it on Mark Brenner this week.

5PM

Field #1: Spike Hill vs. duckduck (Shortz)

_

HIDE YO KIDS, HIDE YO WIVES, HIDE YO HUSBANDS, because The Spike Hill is facing off against US! Thus far, Spike Hill’s been beating everybody out here, but NO MAS! The duck mobile is coming for you and we’re going to bite your hands and eat all of your bread to avenge your off-season antics! The Spike Hillians have wisely sent Greg Todd into hiding this weekend. They say it’s a coincidence, but I say “LIES!”

Now, O’Malley has received criticism in the past for his fired-up demeanor on the field and I couldn’t be more in agreement. Like, remember in the Championship semi finals recap when he said, “Babkow made a number of really nice scoops at 3rd”?  I mean, what a fucking jerk. Without disclosing too much of our plans for Sunday, let’s just say we’ll have something the Spike Hillians would loooove to ride.

Field 2: 3 Kings vs. Black Betty (GSlack)

In the 5 pm game we have the last of the playoff rematches when 3 Kings takes on Black Betty. The Betties made quick work of 3K in the first round of their championship run. They scored a workmanship victory vs. Soft Spot last week. Having secured their first 2013 win, Big Ben and Jesse Ballgame now look to get the Black Train rolling. But they might be running into The Majestic Ones at the wrong time. The 3 King bats woke from their slumber and exploded like montezuma’s revenge last week against the Teachers. Whatever Stash Mcnelis slipped in the kool-aid worked like a charm.

Contest Time!

First person on Facebook to correctly guess how many hits 3 Kings amassed during last week’s 30-5 win over TNT will win two Nest beers. This contest is not open to any of 3 kings players so do not even try it.

And I know Gblack owes Pizza his two Turkey Nest beers for winning the HomeRun guessing contest, he has not forgot and we will have visual evidence of the award ceremony.

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